There was LOADS of coverage of us getting beaten by Norn Iron. Most of it was of the “get rid of the Swedish sex-pest” variety or the “Beckham is useless!” kind (Both spot-on IMHO).

However the cricket is the bigger story as everyone knows that there are occasional upsets in football, as there are in ODIs (remember Bangladesh beating the prisoners?), but over five (count ‘em FIVE) tests the better team will win. It did.

As for last night’s cricket – clearly Hampshire had been consoling warne long into the night (it was his birthday yesterday too). It’s the only possible explanation.

Also those of you on the Celtic fringe: Get back to painting yourselves blue, doing unspeakable things with wicker men, having languages that make no sense and you can’t play Scrabble in, and losing to England at everything. You know it makes sense. I see that the fuel protestors are organising a go-slow in Wales today. How will they tell?

You probably wouldn't notice, because London is always on a go slow, it will involve loads of lorries (they are big vehicles that generally carry heavy loads) they will drive at 10mph up the M4 thats the road between London and Cardiff that is always full of Jams at the London end and clear the Welsh end.
So we in Wales will notice a significant difference however you smogged up londoners will probably feel at home.

Ah! Now I understand! The lorries will form up in Wales (where they will be surrounded by people with pitchforks yelling “witchcraft” at them, as there are no horses and yet they move). From there they will drive slowly, avoiding ladies in tall black hats with spinning wheels and massed groups of men singing in close harmony, to London.

Will these lorries be full of quality welsh produce such as lavabread and coal?

David,

I've a good mind to come down there & sort you out - as soon as I finish this deep-fried Mars bar & bottle of Buckfast tonic wine :)

Jim

Jim,

Bad news I'm afraid. I'm half scottish (half english half scottish - uptight AND mean), so I'd be inclined to join you.

Do they still have cans of Tennants with dolly birds on them up there? If not I'll have purple tin.

Lavabread !! we wouldn't let you lot have any, your not worthy.
Stick to your jellied eels.
And as for Coal, in case you hadn't noticed, production of coal is currently pretty low thanks to a certain English witch... Mrs T.

We who live outside London are far healthier as we don't live in the smog and dirty conditions you are so used to.
I can safely blow my nose and have no black dirt collected, which cannot be said after a day in London. Yuk

Muck

But doesn't the endless singing get you down?

I see Gavin Henson's got a groin strain. Well you would do in his position wouldn't you. Still there goes the rugby team.

Gavins ok now Charlotte sorted it for him.
Singing is good for the heart and soul, you Londoners should try something other than the depressing Jeruselem, or the even more depressing sweet Chariots or what ever its called.

Muck

I must say that this thread is a big improvement on a lot of what turns up on this forum: "Romantic hotel in 15th Arondissement?" and the like, posted by gushing, frustrated ladies hoping against hope that Paris, Rome (anywhere!) - will rekindle the long-dead desire of their flaccid and deeply-uninterested "DH" (why are there so few DWs on Fodors?) To borrow a phrase from GBS, "the triumph of hope over experience". I think I'd rather read about cricket. Good night.

Muck: We Londoners are famous for our singing. We like to get round ("rahnd") the old joanna and bang out "maybe it's because i'm a londoner" or "knees up muvver brahn" in the company of our famous Pearly Kings and Queens, not to mention our formation dancing chimney sweeps.

You've obviously never seen any Dick Van Dyke movies.

Sorry, David - Tennents dolly birds are no more.

If you're truly into the purple cans I suspect that your ratio of "Scottishness" to "Englishness" may well be more than 50/50.

Jim

Presumably, if you're sufficiently into the purple cans, you're past caring anyway.

The definition of Cricket is simple (apologies to an unknown wit)

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go
in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those
who are not out, that is the end of the game!
Simple! ...

Sorry, David - Tennents dolly birds are no more. >>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>> >

It's political correctness gone mad i tell you!

Dick Van Dyke,londoner, and there's me thinking he was a yank.(I prefer him in Chitty)
An education; is this forum.

Sarvowinner, your explanation is quite precise except you forgot to mention the limited overs game.

Londoners singing!! --chas n dave that bloke from minder and karaoke in the queen Vic, just about sums it up really.
Poor ...really... poor.

Sorry David I don't count that as being singing, not by any stretch of the imagination.

Muck

Hmmm… Welsh singing: Choirs of the unemployed singing in a language only otherwise spoken by Orcs. Fluffy little “voice of an angel” boys and girls – only watched by grannies and kiddy-fiddlers. Tom Jones and Shirley Bassey (has anyone ever seen them in the same room together?).

On the other hand we have The Who; The Stones; The Kinks; The Clash; The Stranglers; The Sex Pistols; Nick Drake;...need I go on?

>>>>>On the other hand we have The Who; The Stones; The Kinks; The Clash; The Stranglers; The Sex Pistols; Nick Drake;...need I go on? <<<<<<<



I rest my case !

I really really hope you're not a defence barrister in real life.

Isn't this real life?

Not as it is usually lived. Real real life is nasty brutish and short. Like John Prescott.

This is the sunlit uplands in comparison.