I never thought such a thing, but it is obvious that girls should be locked up while boys run wild. Many people have made it clear here, as well as the sexist idea that boys will automatically run wild because they have no sense at all.

I guess that all of my experience and that of my friends and colleagues runs contrary to Fodorite wisdom. That is probably a good thing, because this way more people will stay at home and not clutter up Paris by living their lives as they would love to do. Aren't we all gratified when we see all of these people writing "I dreamed of going to Paris for 30 years and it is finally happening"? God forbid that they might enjoy it earlier in life, because life is meant for abstaining and suffering. Anything pleasurable must be feared and avoided.

Seriously, kerouac, zeppole's response is much more nuanced than you give her credit for. It included this:

"If it is a fairly short train ride to Paris, and if your daughter is fluent in French -- fluent enough to handle telephone calls in French and other emergencies -- and you are absolutely certain that, for all 3 travelers, the attraction of a weekend in Paris isn't late-night partying away from the eyes of adults but sightseeing, Paris is generally a safe place for teens"

And then she goes on to say "<i>Have you asked her teachers in France what they think?</i>"

Do you think that the teachers know the poster's daughter better than she does herself? And is a teacher in Grenoble automatically qualified about Paris? Most French provincials believe that Paris is Satan's lair just by watching the evening news.

It is already relatively irresponsible to ask a complete group of strangers (we Fodorites) about what to do, unless the whole purpose is to obtain a veto on the trip.

For one thing, the teachers likely know the other two girls better than the OP does. And presumably the OP could judge the quality of the response of the provincials just as she can evaluate yours.

Keep in mind that the mere fact that the OP has sent her 16 yo to this year abroad program is an indication that the girl is not a "mollycoddled hyperdependent".

Why are some of you talking about "night trains"? That was never a part of anything asked on this thread or for this scenario.

Five years ago, our 15 and 17 yo daughters' Swiss born French teacher was aghast that we'd let them travel to Europe alone. Her reaction and those of some others were understandable, but we stuck with our own intuition about it.

I've been reading this thread and thinking about it fairly seriously and wondering how to respond, because I'm not sure my own perspective is "normal." We bought a house in France when my kids were little (5 and 2), and they grew up spending summers there and going on weeks-long, or months-long, trips throughout Europe. By the time they were 16, they had gobs of experience in Europe, spoke French (and a bit of other languages), and were completely confident about traveling around. My 16-year-old daughter traveled all over in Europe one summer by herself - didn't faze me one bit. She was also a lacrosse player and a brute, and if anyone had tried to mess with her, they would have been sorry.

My take on this is that Americans and Europeans have, for some obvious reasons, very different points of view on young people traveling alone. European families are just naturally comfortable with the concept of their kids traveling around the Continent - it's what they do! American kids may fly off to see Grandma and Grandpa in another city, but they don't normally, at the age of 16, go "traveling around the country" by themselves (mine did, but that's because they had the European experience behind them).

I don't think it has anything to do with being "mollycoddled." My kids certainly weren't. It has to do with a different perspective...and I'll be the first to say that the American one doesn't sit well with me.

At the same time, kerouac and others, I think you underestimate the "dangers," if I may use that word, for a young female traveling alone or with other females - ANYWHERE in the world. It doesn't matter how much progress has been made with respect to women's liberation; it doesn't matter how tough the individual girl(s) are; it doesn't matter that "in this day and age" we should assume that women are totally equal with men; none of that matters when you are traveling and end up the target of some slimebag. And it happens way more often than you would like to admit. It happened to me over and over when I was in my 20s; it happened to me in my 30s. It happened to me in my 40s. It happened to me in my 50s. Sorry - there are slimebag guys in every country, everywhere, waiting to prey on females of any age. It makes it NOT equally possible for girls/women to travel safely as guys. It's not pretty, and I try to reject it ALL the time, but it's the truth.

You just don't know what it's like. How could you?

I am all for this OP to let her daughter go to Paris, but to suggest that she's some kind of American nutcase for worrying about it just isn't clear thinking.

I had just finished getting my brown belt in karate when I made my first trip to Paris. Some pervert on the métro tried to rub up against me while I was holding onto a pole in the middle of the subway car. I gave him a swift kick to the balls and a sharp finger into the Adam's apple, and he crumpled to the ground and crawled off at the next stop. The entire car full of people cheered; several people hugged me. You can't be so cavalier about what happens to women. We do live with a sense that we might be victims, even if we're seasoned and tough and well traveled.

>>>>>>>
My take on this is that Americans and Europeans have, for some obvious reasons, very different points of view on young people traveling alone. European families are just naturally comfortable with the concept of their kids traveling around the Continent - it's what they do! American kids may fly off to see Grandma and Grandpa in another city, but they don't normally, at the age of 16, go "traveling around the country" by themselves (mine did, but that's because they had the European experience behind them).....It has to do with a different perspective...and I'll be the first to say that the American one doesn't sit well with me.
>>>>>>>

what 'obvious reasons' do americans have for being more cautious about their teenage children travelling? in most parts of the US, people have a very slim chance of being a victim of crime (if crime is the factor you are thinking about).

you are looking at differences in 'freedoms' given to children across europe and america too simply. for example, with a car comes a great amount of freedom and personal responsibility (and a huge amount of potential danger) and many americans give their children everyday access to cars from the age of 16...driving to school, hours of freedom after school, nights out on the town with the car, to the mall, etc, etc. this generally doesn't happen in europe. in this way, european children are given much less every day freedom and personal responsibility than americans.

i think that american kids do travel around america more than you think. they travel to ski, hike, visit friends, go to the beach or whatever...and WITH A CAR.

attitudes differ greatly in people's attitudes toward freedoms with their children but having a great amount of experience in both america and europe, i do not detect a significant difference in point of view over how much freedom children are given.

Good point, walkinaround.

And well said, St.Circ. I wandered into unpleasant and potentially dangerous situations as an adventurous young woman. While I survived and learned from them, I'd rather my daughters didn't push their own luck quite so far.