Take the Teens or Not?
 

Planning a trip to Italy (two weeks)and Greece (one week) for 2005 and wondering what everyone's opinion is on taking the teens or not. We will be 51 & 47 and the teens will be 18 & 15. I have heard both opinions from friends. Take them! It will open their minds to a whole new world. Leave them! They will be bored???

Also wondering about where to fly into and out of. Plan to go to Venice, Rome, and the Amalfi coast. Then to Athens, Lesvos, and Santorini I hope.

Is lodging that much more expensive for four rather than two?

I am rapidly becoming quite fond of the Fodorites on this site. Very informational and soooo entertaining :)

Thanks in advance for any and all replys.

I would have taken my son at that age, but then he is great and we have a good relationship as a family.

I know he never would have been bored either in Italy or in Greece, but I don't know your kids, so I couldn't say whether to take them or not. I know some friend's teens that I would not want to travel with and some would be alot of fun to be with.

Only you know that. Grab some guide books and go over them with the teens and see how they react, if they start whining, I would say "nay".

Yes, you know your kids best.
Discuss it with them, as suggested, have them thumb through a guidebook.
I have traveled with younger kids who are into history and new experiences, and they love to travel. If you balance the things that might be of less interest, like art museums and churches, with
other activities like boating or historical sights or shopping or outdoorsy things, you might have a good compromise. But no whining allowed!

Take them! You don't have to spend all your time as a four - at 18 and 15 they're more than old enough to go off on their own to the beach or shopping if they don't want to spend as much time as you on the serious sites (assuming they get on with each other OK!).

Hi,
I am Laurie's daughter, I'm 15 years old. Last summer my parents took my brother,17, and I to Europe for about 3 weeks. It was alot of fun. The museums were really very interesting, although I thought I would hate them before we left. After about the 6th museum we went to, it did get a little boring, so we cut down a little bit.

The only part I would complain about would be missing my friends. My parents gave me a phone card to use though. I got to call my friends every once in awhile.

My brother probably enjoyed the food the most, which I could agree with. Trying the foods was probably one of my favorite parts.

It was fun to try to learn the language as well. Before I went to Italy, it would take me a long time to be able to peice together a few words, but after being there I find it easier to understand and comprehend what they were saying.
I guess what I'm trying to say is yes, they would probably really like it and they will most definitely thank you for the experience later.
~Molly~

Thanks SeaUrchin. Both kids are great and interested in their Dad's heritage (Italian), my daughter even wants to take Italian. Also, they are wonderfully exposed to many different foods and willing to try practically anything once!

Any books you can recommend? Fodor's, obviously...

Molly,

Great to hear from the "younger generation" and your thoughts about your expectations and the actual journey. The phone card is a great idea!

papagena,

I heartily agree...although our papa might not let his "babies" off on their own so easily! :)

We have taken our three daughters on two (all three of them)/three (two of them) trips, and they are among the best memories of traveling that we have.

Similr ages as your family. Do go with separate rooms at least occasionally. You both deserve it.

Best wishes,

Rex

congratulations, they sound like the type of teens that would be fun to travel with - take them!!

You will have memories that will last a lifetime, especially since it is part of their heritage.

Have fun and write us a trip report!

We took our son to Italy when he was 18, and he had a great time.

We seldom saw him in Venice and Rome as he picked up with locals in both places--we think he had quite a romantic interlude in Venice as there were some long distance phone calls to Venice on his room bills over the rest of the trip, followed by several months of extensive letter exchanges took place once we got home.

He did hang out with us more on the Amalfi coast as we took a lot of day trips--but we didn't see him much in the evenings there either.

A 15-year old might be more of a problem.

BTW, the kids might like to read Rick Steves or Let's Go guide books, they are geared to a young crowd. I know there are more too written by college groups.

Boy, would I have had a great time in Italy at 15, flirting with those cute Italian boys!
Oops, don't tell their Dad that!

I would definitely take the teens - even if they think they won;t enjoy it they will. Hotel for four will be significantly more than hotel for 2 - they're not little kids that can sleep on a roll-away cot - but have you considered renting an apartment to get more for your money?

Last summer we took our two sons (then 14 and 15) with us to Rome, Florence and Venice for about 2 weeks. We had a wonderful time and they loved the experience--from the food to the girls to the museums. The only thing I would do differently is get them their own room (a double) rather than getting quads at each hotel. I didn't realize how different Italian hotels were compared to American ones.

The one thing we always do when we travel as a family is that each person reads the travel material and selects one event, sight, etc. that they want to see in each location. So we hit all of those and then fill in with what we feel are other must-see attractions. Always works out well for us, and everyone feels good about the trip.

Leave them home!!! :)
Go and enjoy yourselves. Let them "dig up" a trip for themselves when they have the interest.

Having them do their own planning and research makes it a better experience for them, since the planning leads to the excitement and anticipation.

If you do end up taking them, maybe "assign" them an area, a region, or a day's activity to plan and investigate. Learning the history of that area or city, and obtain a map.

Seems like when we just pack them up and take them, they are just looking ou the window with no appreciation of what it is they are looking at, and how much planning went into the trip. They might as well have stayed home and watched it on the big screen!!!

Just an opinion!!

Take them! We're taking our 14 and 17 year old girls to Europe this summer and we are all really excited. Some of our best memories are of the vacations we have taken together. We live our day to day lives with routines and stresses as a family and I wouldn't want to exclude my teens from vacation time when we relax, enjoy ourselves and explore new things. They will be out on their own soon enough and my spouse and I will be vacationing as a couple. I enjoy their company (most of the time) and look forward to our family vacations.

I forgot to mention it will cost more but I think it's worth it!!!

Children generally begin to resist the family vacation experience at 14 or 15. By 18 they are much happier traveling with friends--and the least little thing causes them embarassment.

I traveled a lot with my kids when they were younger. I did learn, however, that, when they expressed a preference for travel with friends, to let them go.

My personal advice for ages 18 & 15 would be to send them on their own trip. There are plenty of trips geared to trips. No, they are not cheap, but you go away while they are away and everyone has a better vacation.

If you decide to travel as a family with your teens, once you get there be prepared for them to do nothing with you except to having that homing instinct when they need money for something.

My family with one 19 yr. old son are taking a Globus tour this May. He's the one that wanted to go and picked out the countries he wanted to visit. Definitely take them, what a great experience!

Hi galestorm

Take 'em! My parents took my two
brothers and me all over (airline family)from the time we were little kids. At 15-16, I often didn't want to go (might miss a good party or something) but once on the trip,were glad we went. Let them have some of their own adventures; my parents let us teens go off on our own, (the ususal precautions are always in order, of course) and we really appreciated the time away from the folks and with each other. Let everyone get to pick some things they like to do and if someone is feeling cranky or tired one day or night, just let them hang in the hotel and get over it (this can inlcude Mom and Dad!).

Great memories, both good and bad, will be made. The life choices that my siblings and I have made were GREATLY influenced by all our exposure living and traveling in other places. It is like nothing else!

We have taken our 2 grandchildren (now 13 & 17) on two trips, London for a week in 2001 and Paris for a week in 2002. We get two rooms, one for my wife with our granddaughter (the younger child) and one for me with grandson. This worked for us.

We have taken them to the MFA in Boston, Smith College Art Museum, Worcester Art Museum, Clark Institute, Higgins Armory, Tower Hill Botanic Gardens, Newport mansions, and sundry other places particularly in the 5 years I've been retired. They, as were our children, exposed to culture (God, I hate that terminology) and food throughout their lives so London and Paris were an extension of things they had experienced but on a much larger scale.

We knew they would love the Imperial War Museum and the Musee de l'Armee, be thrilled with the Mona Lisa, want to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, be very proud of how quickly they would learn the Tube and Metro and plan our transportation for the day. Each had a camera to document their stays for Mom and Dad and friends.

It was very enjoyable for us all.

Why not just ask them if they want to go..if they say no..they'd rather stay home with their friends...then it's their lose!

I guess I must clarify a previous posting. Our family (of 4) trips to Europe were great, when they were 13 and 15 or so. We go every other summer.
When they got to be 16 and 18, it was a different story. It can depend if there is a "significant other" back home that they are pining for, or if they are missing some activity, etc. Our last trip was to Italy, and it was a bit of a pain, with their moodiness.

SO....I feel like we've "shown them" some of Europe and exposed them to other culture and travel, but from now on, we are going to go and enjoy it for ourselves! Part of that empty nest transition time of life.

I can't imagine ANYONE being bored in Greece and Italy! Get the kids involved in the planning and you'll all benefit, as others have mentioned.

For what it's worth, last summer for various reasons was the first time in many years we couldn't go to France as a family - and my almost 15- and almost 17-year-old have made me swear we will go back this summer. They actually confessed to having complained in the past about missing their friends and being bored "just to tick you off, Mom," and said they miss Europe more than they ever knew they would. They say they miss the food, the scenery, the pace of life in general, and the "differences" - I sometimes think teenagers really aren't all that thrilled with what typical American high school life imposes on them, even if they are slaves to it, and can appreciate a less market-oriented mindset, which they can find in Europe, particularly in the more rural areas. Just my two sous.

I agree with St Cirq and the others: get them involved!

Don't drag them all over the place to see things that only the parents have chosen. I can't imagine anything more boring than escorting my parents around Italy to see what they want to see!

On the other hand, make it a true FAMILY outing. Plan together, allow them to have full input.

The kids in my family have been travelling since they were little. Before they were 18, they had been to Paris and London at least two or three times, to China at least once, and so on. It really is a mind-expanding experience, so start as soon as you can! Enrich their lives!

I would absolutely take your teens with you. First off, do you really want to leave them at home for 3 weeks when you are so far away??? The parties...your house!!

Second, there really is no better education anyone can receive than experiencing first-hand the culture, history and life-style of other nations. And you have selected the two most significant civilations of the western world to experience. Your children will be so enriched and will retain such much of their experiences, long after you are gone. I am convinced, having taken my two sons from a very early age all over Europe, that they are better students, better people, and one day will be better citizens because of it. Even at ages 12 & 16 yrs., they are very interested in world events and look at life from a global perspective. All while growing up in a suburb of St. Louis! And in 3 weeks, we leave for a 2-week trip to Italy, which be our 5th trip abroad since 1998.

I would definitely take the kids! I always regretted not going on a trip with my parents. They travel a lot and have been all over the world several times. They didn't take the kids because there were 11 of us! (from 2 marriages) They would go broke taking us all to Europe. I think this would be an invaluable experience to have as a young person!

Hi, Galelstorm - I grew up as a military brat and never fussed about moving and now (older than I wil tell you) so completely appreciate that I didn't live in one place, was exposed to different people and places. Make the kids go and leave them to figure it out. They will figure it out and they will thank you for it, when they are 35 years old! People need to realize kids are so flexible and resilient. The only real question is will they ruin it for you. No. Go. Relax.

Take your teens. You will never regret it. We have the best memories, and it gave the kids a new perspective on art, history, and people.

Take them. We took our kids when they were in their teens (and younger). They loved it and still love traveling. They're all in their 30s now and still talk about all our trips when we get together. They all love to travel too.

The first couple days were always a little rough, being together 24 hours a day. But you get into the swing of things and have a great time.

If they want to keep in touch with friends, have them take e-mail addresses and visit a cybercafe every few days so they can e-mail their friends.

When they got into their teens, they loved to show us things they had discovered.

Have a great time.

Reading this thread reinforces the idea that there are many different attitudes towards kids, and that there are many kinds of kids. In my own family, I have taken several European trips with my daughters in the past couple of years, beginning with my college student daughter's request to travel with me during her spring break.

That was her first year of college, when she was 18. We went to Paris together, and the next year we went to Paris and Rome. She is now in her third year and we are leaving for London and Venice in two weeks.

Traveling to Europe with her was so much fun that last year my husband and I took our younger daughter (16 at the time) to Paris for a week during February vacation. Everyone loved it so much that we spent the vacation week this year in Rome and have just returned.

After speaking to kids who have gone to Europe on school trips, my younger daughter believes she had more fun with the family. Less of a packaged experience, more spontaneous, less insulated from the places we visited.

My older daughter has become such a confident and interested traveler that she is considering volunteering with a children's aid organization in Africa this summer instead of the summer study abroad programs she had been researching.

Of course you take them as long as they want to come with you. We had children with us everywhere from the age of 2 and 3. Then came one summer when we had to drag them by force because we did not want to leave them by themselves. And there we were in Turkey, in this beautiful hotel by the the turqoise sea in very hot August. And what did these types do? They sat sulking by the pool, both dressed in thick black clothes, reading sci-fi. They did not even swim. After a week we had had it, and we gave them money, pushed them to a plane and sent them home. Afterwards we had great time, just the two of us for the first time in years.

After that we did not even ask them to come with us, and they started to travel by themselves, mostly Interrailing Europe.

And then came one winter holiday when our 25-year-old son said: "It would be nice to go somewhere for Christmas, we could all go hiking together." And off we went, and had a really great time once again.

I might mention that not even once did they betray our trust when they were home without us. But we had son's godfather spying on them in the beginning...

Take them with you as long as they are willing to come. Now I hope I will get grandchildren so that I can take them with me.

It is interesting that the original poster says little about whether or not the teens have been asked for THEIR opinion about going on this trip...or is that not a viable option?
If they don't want to go then what is the point of forcing them to do so? If they do want to go then I suspect there wouldn't have been any need for this post...unless the poster feels that other people's opinions weigh more heavily than the two young people involved.

I can see kids being bored sitting by a pool in Turkey, no matter how gorgeous -- I would be, too!

Others have made the key points -- a lot depends on the specific kids and their attitudes; involve them in the preparation and research, give them some say in the itinerary, don't over-emphasize any one type of activity, whether it's pools or museums.

JonJon, I think the OP is doing some preliminary research before asking the teens whether they want to go -- if they're asked, and say Yes, then it would be really difficult, even nasty, to turn around and decide not to take them.

Hi gale,

I would take them. Even if they refuse to admit to you that they enjoyed it, they will tell their friends how cool it was.

It is a favor they will appreciate for the rest of their lives.

Anonymous, you did not quite get it. That was what they chose to do, refusing to come anywhere, refusing to leave that
bl**dy pool, and refusing to swim in it. A really showy demonstration, and must have been uncomfortable, too.

The Turkey/pool story makes me laugh. When I was in 7th grade and my sister in the 10th, Mom and Dad took us on the Big Three Week Car Trip to California...both of us were pretty much little jerks (I'd say what we really were but this is a family board.) I remember us stopping at the Great Salt Lake and neither of us would get out of the car...I bet Mom and Dad just wanted to kill us!

But with that said, I've known a whole lot of families who have taken their kids to Europe and only co-owrker said he wished he had left his daughters at home. The girls were teens, 13 months apart, and they fought the whole time (which I suspect happened at home, also).

HI I would suggest to take them with you and let them create their program aside especially in the cities it will be tons to see and to do. Eventhough not everyone (understandable) is focussed on cultural highlights, but aside this its just such an amazing experience to just sit in a cafe and enjoy the atmosphere while eating local food and sipping wine or coffee.

for the greek islands I would suggest to take a rented house because most european hotels still offer compared to american standard, smaller rooms.
therefore a greek specialst for rental homes would be
http://www.attika.de
(look out for : ferienhäuser)
Eventhought its written in german, you can request in english I am sure they will respond to you immediately.

Need more infos : Email to :
[email protected]

JonJon,

Please don't get the wrong impression here. I have, of course, asked both kids (girl to be 18 and will just have graduated high school/boy to be 15 and will have just started high school)if they wanted to accompany us on our first adventure to Italy and Greece. As I mentioned in a later post, she is quite interested in the culture, language, pasta (my carb queen) and I'm sure Italian boys once she's there! He is definitely interested as well. I was merely trying to get feedback on other family's experiences. Yes, I know at times they can be a royal pain, but I so want to expose them to this wonderful experience.

Papa, however, is thinking of the cha-ching $$$ and is not sure whether or not we should take them. Hence my question regarding lodging costs and various accomodations.

Everyone's responses have been encouraging and helpful and I am most grateful to all!

I can appreciate giving the kids the opportunity to help with the planning and choosing some of the adventures. I will definitely obtain some guidebooks geared towards them. Also love the idea of separate rooms at times...we will all need the break!

Both kids have been to Hawaii numerous times on family vacations and to Mexico. Now it is time to expose them to Europe! I can only hope it will give them the taste to travel more on their own as they grow into young adults.

Thanks again all :) :) :)

Hi Gale,

For the Amalfi Coast, I can highly recommend the Hotel Le Sirene in Praiano. They have 2 adjoining rooms with a shared bath for 150E/nite w/bkfst. www.lesirene.com.

See my trip report.

Ira?s Trip Report

http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34451044

This might also help you

Helpful Information: Italy

http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34443340