Solo in Amsterdam for 3 days, are people just going to feel sorry for me?
 

Say you were on a 3 hour bus city tour and a solo traveler just walked in alone, wouldn't you feel sorry for him or her? I probably would!

I've been to NYC alone a couple of times but I never went to a restaurant or anything like that. I just lived on cold cafe sandwiches and candy for 5 days! I don't want people to stare at me, or maybe feel sorry for me !

I'll be in Amsterdam for the first time next weekend, and I would love to take a city tour bus but I don't know if I could do it! is this normal?

Thanks all !

NO!!! For your first Post, this is "INTERESTING". Mike

"NO" to " are people going to feel sorry for me?" or " are my feelings normal?" ?

No ... no one will feel sorry for you. No one probably even "sees" you.
Do YOU take time out of your day and schedule because YOU see someone alone?
I'll bet you do not. Other people do not either.

And you were in NY and didn't eat well?
Sheesh...

I prefer to travel solo...I eat well in nice restaurants ... go where I want went I want. I am female...and couldn't care less what people think of me, as long as I like me!

I fly overseas every week for work and I usually end up doing things on my own. No-no one is going to feel sorry for you and to be quite honest-most people are too busy in their own lives to care. That said-these are my suggestions: Do read up where you are going and what you want to do and then do them. I would say that the majority of people around the world are quite helpful when you ask but do not expect them to"lead you to the water and help you drink it".Be friendly and enjoy the moments. You may be surprised to meet someone on that city bus tour that might want to meet for dinner or drink later? The one thing that I have learned in traveling is DO NOT WAIT AROUND FOR OTHERS!!!! Otherwise you may never see the world. Enjoy and have fun!

Thanks all !
I still have to get over my eating alone at a restaurant discomfort!

I mean, it would probably be boring, and people would think: what a poor lonely sole!
And reading a book when alone at a restaurant is just so cliched and I don't want to do it!

Can someone tell what "ttt" means?

I'll be blunt. I've never felt sorry for someone traveling or dining alone. I don't really think about it, but there are a dozen reasons why they could be alone, and none are worth my sympathy.
On the other hand I DO feel sorry for you that you have so little self esteem, you think everyone will look at you and pity you for no reason at all. Get over it and go out and enjoy yourself. What's more if you want to join other people, you'd have to be a pretty big loser not to be able to meet people and join them in a three day trip in Amsterdam. It is a very friendly city and it is very easy to meet other singles. The only real reason to be alone is because you want to be -- not that there's anything wrong with that.

<<people would think: what a poor lonely sole!>>

Highly unlikely anyone would think that unless you were lying on a plate with your gills exposed.

Thanks Patrick, I think I probably needed someone to tell me that.

Blimey, are you ever a self-conscious geezer. Do you really think that anyone in a big city would even notice you?? Unless you were a supermodel in a bikini, I doubt anyone would even look at you. I have lived in London, San Franciso, New York, and Philadelphia. I rarely notice anyone for more than 5 minutes, unless they are drop-dead gorgeous.

I have travelled all over the world by myself, eating in some of the best restaurant all alone. I never gave it a second thought. I once made the mistake of going to a romantic restaurant in Florence, filled with couples holding hands across the table. I was the only single person there. Was I uncomfortable? Not when I ordered my second glass of wine!! When others start paying my bills, working my job for me, paying my taxes, then I will start worrying about what they think.

If you are uncomfortable sitting by yourself in a restaurant, why don't you try a sushi bar, or even eating at the bar of a restaurant (this is more common in the US)?

Several years ago I went on a London Walks Explorer Day tour by myself and met two people that I still keep in touch with to this day. They were in town through the following weekend and we all did another day tour together. I'd definitely go and do the bus tour without worrying!

I prefer to travel solo and am single at home so don't understand what your "pity party" is all about.

That said, I do think it is fairly pathetic that a person is afraid to eat in a restaurant alone, or thinks people will stare at you. And what's wrong with reading a book while you eat?

All kinds of people travel solo all the time for all kinds of reasons. Take the bus tour or don't... and trust me, no one really cares about what you are doing or who you are doing it with (or not).

StCirq thankfully I only drink water at my desk. So that's all I sprayed over my keyboard. :-)

It might be easy to purchase a blow up doll in Amsterdam, prop one up across the table from you and you will not be alone any more.

I'm with the majority on this one. No, I wouldn't feel sorry for a solo traveller. Some people like to be alone, others might be on a business trip and lucky to be able to grab some time to sightsee.

This doesn't sound like a real post to me, but there is something wrong with people implying you are not a worthwhile person unless you are with someone else, or that you SHOULD be with someone else as that is the preferred state. There is nothing to feel sorry about. One does not have to only go places in this world with another person by their side. No one would ever get anything done if they couldn't go downtown or anywhere on their own.

I don't feel sorry for people alone because I don't judge that as a state to feel sorry for. I feel sorry for people who live in war zones or are very poor, or homeless, or have terrible diseases.

It is actually very self-absorbed to think that everyone is thinking of you and wondering what you are doing and the situations that may lead you to have something to eat alone. I don't think many people could even conduct many jobs if they would not ever eat alone. I could see that now -- my boss wanting me to go to a conference or attend a Senate hearing, and me refusing because I was afraid to eat alone.

I just realized that you problem is you think others are just like you. You made it clear that YOU view others with pity when you see them alone. That doesn't mean that others will view you that way. You are in a vast minority. Most people don't view other singles with the same attitude that you do.

Beautifully said Patrick! This post has been bothering me - since it is written by a person traveling alone, and basically insulting anyone else who might also travel solo.

Assuming that people would stare, feel sorry for him, whether alone in a restaurant or on a tour bus. This person is perpetuating their own paranoia and lack of self worth. What a sad state of affairs.

Even when I travel with others, I am often alone. We split up because of different interests and different "must sees" on our lists, then meet up at an agreed-upon location later. How would anyone know if I'm traveling alone, or merely separated for a couple of hours? I never considered that others could be pitying me - but even if they are, does it matter? You'll probably never see that bus driver or fellow tourist again in your life.