Separate checks at restaurants
 

Five of us (ladies in late 50's) are spending 2 weeks in Paris. Since we are all on separate budgets, is it okay to ask for separate checks at restaurants? Would they be offended if we even asked? Or do we need to get one check and later figure out each person's cost?

I can't speak for Paris, but I can tell you that I was part of a group of 6 that spent 10 days in Italy in October.

We decided the first night that since we were eating similar things, we would simply split the checks 6 ways and be done with it. We were all on our own sort of budgets, some with higher budgets then others, but this worked very well for us.

Prior to the trip, we had decided that we would all be prepared to pay cash for meals, and we would figure it out at the table prior to paying. During the first dinner in Rome, we decided that would be too much of a pain, and the splitting it 6 ways was much easier.

On average, we spent about 15-15 Euro per person for dinner and around 15 Euro each for lunch. None of us thought that splitting the check caused us to pay more that we would have had we paid individually.

Hope this helps.

No, they wouldn't be offended at all but they will say a big NO :) Too much work .... they usually note what you ask for by table, not by person.. And it will be bad for you if they say yes, because it is very easy to get confused..you will be safer doing the cost counts yourselves :)

My friend and I just split the cost. I think it's not so common in Paris (Europe too?) to ask for separate checks.

Not done!

Thank you all for the quick reply. You have been a great help. I'll take your suggestions/comments to our group.

If you're all friendly and reasonable, don't bother. I would guess that someone in your group is prepared to figure out the tab. Otherwise, just ask. They'll do it or not. Many, many more places don't mind issuing separate checks, but ask before you order. In the more casual places, especially cafes, you'll receive them anyway.

Separate checks are very common in France, particularly among young people. And they are practically a given at lunchtime among co-workers. There are probably not so common at high end restaurants, however now that all such things are prepared by cash register computer terminals, it is no trouble at all to get a separate check whenever you want one. In the old days, when things were added up manually, it might have dismayed some waiters. Not any more!

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My friend and I just split the cost. I think it's not so common in Paris (Europe too?) to ask for separate checks.
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this is simply not true. in many european countries, it is ASSUMED that charging will be done separately (e.g. germany, denmark and many others). in other countries (eg france, UK and others) it is common to ask to be charged separately.

there is also a cultural point here...in america, for example, it is often seen as petty for friends to want pay only for what they have ordered rather than just to split the bill evenly. as an extention to this idea, it is often the case to just have one pay person pay and say 'you can pay next time'. even splitting the bill evenly can be seen as paltry and distasteful in many circles.

in europe, this is not really the case. in most countries, paying for what you ordered is more expected in a group and the person who reaches for the bill and starts to split by food ordered is not seen as petty.

as for 5 people always being on separate bills, i don't know how this will work in practice in every case. however, i completely agree with kerouac and i often eat in a group in paris on business and we always pay separately. most times when we go out for dinner, we will split evenly or by food ordered (with a single bill presented by the restaurant).

if you can make it work, i think that it is a better idea to pay for what you have. splitting it evenly often leaves one or two people (at least) with the feeling that they got a 'bad deal'....not so bad for a single meal but for two weeks, the non-drinkers and chicken eaters will start to feel shorted. 5 women travelling together for 2 weeks is begging for friction anyway, so why not try to minimise problem points where possible.

I traveled in France with 5 other people last month. In order make things simple. We decided that one person would be responsible for the check each night...since most of the places we ate at were more or less in the same price range, it worked out very well. Otherwise, just ask them to split the check...if you are paying with plastic they should be able to do it, I suppose. Either they will say yes or they will refuse..does not jurt to ask.

In my experience in Europe, most restaurants have tax & service included in the price, so the waiter, with his little change purse, figures your total on a piece of paper, takes your money, gives you change, and moves on to the next person. Separate tabs shouldn't be a problem. It may be a little more challenging in restaurants that use computerized checks, but if you ask, most will accommodate you. ((b))

walkinaround, thanks for correcting me. I wasn't sure.

With my friends, it usually depends. If we all had more or less the same thing, we simply split the check, otherwise we calculate, but we never ask for separate checks. Luckily quite some of us are engineers, so some calculating isn't a big issue :-)

We often travel with another couple and divide costs. We have a common purse and from that purse we pay all common bills such as gas, tolls and meals. When the purse gets low we each put in another 200 euros or so.

I think the easiest is for everyone to have cash with them, and put in what they owe on the check each meal.

Spliting the bill 5 ways evenly, when people have different priced food could cause hard feelings in both directions. If someone doesn't drink, I still want to feel free to have as much wine as I like without someone else having to pay for it.

Another method is to establish a "kitty" and a treasurer who is willing to manage it.

The one method I would not use is expecting separate checks, at least in certain more high-end restaurants.

Cafeterias, self-serve, and fast-food places are another way to avoid the issue, since everyone pays for their own.

It's not unusual to split the bill between 2 persons, sometimes I've done among 3 people in casual restaurants that are not busy. But splitting among 5 people maybe a tad too much.
I agree with other posters who recommended a more elegant solution. Each of you taking turns, or keeping a record and settling toward the end of the trip.

Asking for separate checks is definently an american thing. Remember the wait staff are not so dependent on tips and therefore won't bow down to over-demanding tourists. It should be easy for you all to work it out. Good luck even asking someone in french to split the check.

p.s. Walkinaround is slightly wrong...it is seen as very petty and rather vulgar in almost all of europe [I grew up there] to argue over a check for what usually turns out to be pennies a difference on each persons dish. Unless there is unique circumstances such as a vegetarian when everyone else orders expensive steaks or someone who doesn't drink alchohol and the table orders expensive wine. Usually a table dining together can easily have a conversation about someone chipping in more or less than "average".

I'm with suze, I have much more drinks than some of our friends and it's not fair for them to pay for our share. Bring cash. But all of the diners should rather than one who gets to put it on his charge card for miles.
Diners, like our friends who may order like things and wine, we split it between two.
Nothing worse than a group of women who bicker over who owes what. I won't do that. There's always one who stiffs like one GTG.

Oh, Mimi, how true. I had lunch with two friends last Christmas at Chanterelle, one of the best restaurants in Manhattan. My friend, John, and I decided to order the $35 prix-fixe menu and suggested to our friend, Mary Ann, to do the same. Well, she ordered the $45 filet mignon, four glasses of $12 wine, and $15 chocolate cake for her pudding. When the bill arrived, guess what?

Mary Ann wanted to split the bill THREE WAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Oh, no, she didn't, Blanche" John exclaimed, wagging his finger like a white Ru Paul who went to Choate.

We made Mary Ann pay her fair share. But, guess what? She didn't give us any money for the tip. B****!

I don't like to ask for seperate checks either in a restaurant. But, when you go out to eat with a Mary Ann you just have to.

Asking for 5 separate checks is not really reasonable for the wait staff. If you're paying cash - simply figure it our yourselves and put it in. If credit card (and a waiter would have to be mad to deal with 5 credit cards for 1 dinner) one person pays and the others reimburse.

However, IMHO unless one of you is a complete glutton and another eats nothing but a bowl of soup - simply split it 5 ways and forget the minor details and concentrate on enjoying Paris. (By the way - if you have a glutton and a bowl of soup eater you're going to have bigger problems thatn the check - like where to eat, when to eat, how much time to spend at dinner - enjoying a nice meal or slurping and running).

We had an occasion several years ago when about 20 of us got together for dinner in a restaurant in northern Spain during a fiesta. One member of our group, a journalist with a major publication, on expenses, protested when the "host", as it where, a friend from London told everyone what their share of the bill would be. An even split. The journalist protested that he had only ordered a salad, wine and a little brandy. The response came back that he knew the rules and could have ordered anything on the menu he wanted. It was an excellent dinner for most of us, and a lesson to the rest. No separate checks when you’re out with a group of friends. Everyone shares, evenly. No time for discussions over who ordered what.

Allivian-it just depends on what type of restaurant you go to. For example, you all might want to go to Chez Leon-an excellent Belgian mussels and frites chain restaurant (very popular with Parisians-particularly the one on the Blvd. St. Germain/Mabillon metro stop). The waiter comes around with his little computer hand-held cash register, tallies each of your bills, credit card or cash, and you're done. Those restaurants that use those hand-helds, (and they are increasingly common, partic. in Paris) there won't be a problem. Also there are those cafes/brasseries where the waiter comes, tallies each of your meals separately, and then you pay him individually-but usually this is done with cash-the cash and credit card usage is more difficult at these places, and they might not do it 5 different ways. So again, it just depends where you decide to dine-many restaurants/brasseries have no problem with paying separately, others do.

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Asking for separate checks is definently an american thing.
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sorry, this is not true.

how do you explain countries like germany where the server will typically go around to each diner in a group and tell them what they owe based on what was ordered...all handled separately. this is the default behaviour. it is often assumed that it will work this way unless the group indicates that they will make a single payment. paying separate bills is not only acceptable, it is the norm in these countries!

I think in most countries of the world, the servers can tell when they are dealing with unrelated adults rather than families. In France, most waiters ask such a group if they want separate checks even before they start taking orders.

It is NOT appropriate in ANY restaurant in Europe OR anywhere else, tacky comes to mind, do your own math!

Please, don't talk about Europe. Here in Spain is not polite to the waiters asking for separate checks. Maybe you can ask, and they can do it as a favour to you...but it's not the usual thing.

Here in Ireland it's no big deal in most restaurants, and is certainly the norm at lunchtime with work colleagues. You wouldn't really ask for separate checks, you would just go up to the cash register and each pay individually. It's pretty normal. Some waiters might act as if they'd prefer you'd just hand over the cash in one lump sum, but those are generally the same waiters who seem to think that you are doing them a massive disservice by stepping foot into their establishments.

It's no biggie here.

If I'm ever in a group and notice that someone has ordered substantially less than anyone else, I usually suggest that they pay separately and we just divide up the rest of the bill between the rest of us. I think it's the height of bad manners to make someone else pay for food and drink that I've ordered. I think it's fine if you're all on a trip together and have plenty of money and order about the same, but if one person is in a different situation, why not take that into account?

I don't think it would be a massive problem, although I'm sure the restaurant would obviously prefer one bill.

Just make it clear right at the start that you want seperate bills.

This is a real bug bear of mine I hate all that squabling that happens when its bill division time.

Recently on a trip to Prague about 10 of us just put 500cK (£12) in the kitty and payed all the bills from that we had all we could eat and drink and there was change for the next day.

Not sure how much you would have to pay in France though..lol

Good luck

Muck

You know, I find this to be both an interesting and informative thread. There are clearly those Americans on this board, and some Europeans as well, that speak in terms of absolutes -that it's "tacky" to ask for separate checks, that it "is not done" in Europe-and in my 30 years of experience in this self-same Europe, I have to say that such blanket negations are simply not true-I have been paying separately when I have been with friends in Europe for as long as I have spent time there, and in as many European countries as I have spent time in.

But it may be a question of semantics-to "ask for separate CHECKS" is different than telling the server individually what you had and having that server with his multi-change purse (and who doesn't know THAT from Germany?-that has been the standard method of payment in German restaurants since as long as I can remember).

But not just Germany, the hand-held individual computers are increasingly in use across Europe-and you DO see these in London, Brussels, Paris and even in Rome, at certain busy lunch-time establishments. In Italy, I have paid separately always at any manner of restaurant I have gone to with friends in cities and small towns-it's just that they figure out what it is that we have had at the table, and we pay that way. There are of course, those servers who don't want to be bothered, but that generally is a personality-driven issue, rather than official restaurant policy.

Allivian-I do think it is a good idea just to tell the server up front that you will each be paying individually, but Parisian servers are pretty laid-back and very used to individual payment at restaurants-remember this is not some little village restaurant out in the country-this is a premier international capital-you will have NO problem here with paying separately.

"all handled separately. this is the default behaviour"

Maybe in Germany walkinaround, but certainly not throughout Europe.

If I went out with friends who made the waiter add up all separate meals, and then make separate credit card payments for all, I would not go out with them again. Doesn't matter if the waiter has a handheld computer. It's just not done.
Either you work it out by yourselves, and settle the bill cash. Or one person pays, the others pay him back later. We nearly always split the bill evenly. And if one or two people want to settle their portion of the bill by credit card, that is usually fine, but not all different bills for different people at the same table.

Tulips-yes, It IS done. At Chez Leon, as a matter of fact-I went out with two friends just this past September, two of us paid in cash, and I paid with a credit card, and the server came around with his little hand-held computer and DID NOT BLINK AN EYELASH about it. This was in Paris.

I took my mother to Chez Léon today :) -- but some Fodorites probably don't think that such a simple restaurant chain is worthy of their attention. Interestingly enough, it was the very first restaurant in Paris to use the hand held computers -- they are the pioneers of the whole system in France.

That's because nearly all the customers in Chez Leon are French-I never hear English in there, and I think the one at Mabillon is the best one in Paris, much better than the one in Brussels off the Grand Place.

Someone in our group has usually mastered basic math in high school so we let them do the division and pay what we are told.

GoTravel, when in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago let me tell you that all you Fodorite's would have been soooo distressed at my two friends (Fodorites also) and I at the end of the Friday evenings dinner. We had all been up since before 5:00am and had been on the go the entire day. We had a lovely dinner and when the check arrived (and we did only have one bottle of lovely Italian wine) I think it took us 15 minutes to add the tip and divide the total by three, lol. We were brain dead. We needed a little second grader to figure out what we each owed, lol. Well it gave us a good giggle anyway.

Please elaborate more on Chez Léon. I'm a bit puzzled by a Google search. Some mentions seem to refer to a restaurant with French food, and some to one with North African.

Maybe it's Leon de Bruxelles?

Last September, we met up with two other couples twice for dinner. Previously, we had never considered requesting seperate checks. But, one couple (the wife) was horrid! (Wife forgot about the water she ordered in lieu of wine, added incorrectly, etc.)

In both restaurants, AFTER the bill was presented, we had no problem paying seperately, even with credit cards.

Just ask for seperate checks when you order. If this is not possible, at least in Paris tax and gratuity are included in the prices, so it's not all that difficult to figure out who owes what.

Lately, we pay with cash (our bank does not have a fee for ATM withdrawals). We do have a credit card without any "currency conversion fee/surcharge", but many places it takes a lot longer to pay and leave if you pay by credit card versus cash.

PS I would NOT recommend asking for separate checks at places that are very, very busy during your visit, or at cafes if each of you is ordering only one or two items.