Riviera Topless Question
 

I need to prepare my young children and husband for what to expect in the Riviera. Guess which one will probably embarrass me more. Are people only topless right on the sand or will we be at our hotel or cafes along the beach with people walking by topless?

Haha, many interpretations are possible. I thought you were going to walk around topless in order to prepare HB and kids ;-)))

Be assured, be it on the French or the Italian riviera, topless stays on the sand, most generally only when sunbathing, not for playing volleyball. On the terraces, people are dressed.

Last year in Italy I noticed that there is far less topless sunbathing on the beaches than 10 years ago!

it's pretty discreet and not much to worry about. people generally do not walk about like this and usually replace the top while walking to the water and swimming. occasionally you see people who are a bit more open with it and will swim or walk around a little but it's not the norm. all will put the top on if going closer to the road/cafes/concession stands.

if your husband is not used to this he may be fascinated with it but will soon probably not give it any more thought than he would at your normal beach.

Islandmom,

I think you'll soon find that sometimes folks are much more appealing when they leave something to the imagination.

Olease don't be the one who ultimately causes the MOST embarrassment by giving the situation any more emphasis than it deserves.

As Myriam said, there's not as much topless sunbathing as there was years ago, and do who go topless, usually do so only on the beach, while sunbathing (some go swimming topless too; never in cafe's though).

I feel sorry for anyone who feels naked breasts are embarrassing and feels a need to prepare one's family (including the husband) for partial nudity on the Riviera. Are people really this juvenile? Does nudity really conjure such prurient thoughts? Are Americans not more evolved than this? Many are, and I suggest you grow up and set a better example.

Have you considered studying early Renaissance art? An education often enlightens the simple-minded.

I cannot think how this crisis arose --unless you learned of the toplessness only after your hotel and flight were irrevocably booked.

I would prepare the children by sitting them down and telling them, simply and calmly, that you are taking them to a place where ladies show their ta-tas.

I would prepare my husband by sitting him down and telling him, simply and calmly, that you are onto him and he had better stay in line on this holiday.

Amerians understand that from a distance it can sometimes be hard to tell if a chest belongs to a male or female. Lets face it, some men's breasts are larger than many women's breasts.

NYCFoodSnob,
I feel sorry for anyone who needs to give this group a lecture and then slap us all in the face.

OOps...the beginning of my comments got dropped.

Food Snob, surely you already realized that Americans are uptight when it comes to nudity

When will Amerians understand that from a distance it can sometimes be hard to tell if a chest belongs to a male or female. Lets face it, some men's breasts are larger than many women's breasts.

I don;t kow how old your kids are - but it is best to prepare them - especially if they're young - to avoid them unwittingly making any embarassing remarks.

As for you husband - well if he;s really that childish - I can't imagine what to suggest.

i live in europe and i take a very liberal view toward these things. i have no problems with german saunas and certainly not with european beaches.

Foodsnob...as the enlightened person you claim to be, you should avoid judging people as "simple minded" for not sharing the same view as you. Every culture has its particulars and in mainstream american culture, this is practice is frowned upon. Personally, i agree with you that this is silly, however, i would never chastise someone for their value systems (as long as it is not at the expense of others).

you're probably one of those people who goes around europe with bright eyes embracing every cultural nuance (including many that can also be labelled as "simple minded" using your same standard).

true education and enlightenment is realised when you learn that all cultures have their peculiarities ...including your own.

while Foodsnob may have been a tad harsh so early on a friday morning - I suprised the "troll alert squad" hasn't raised a red flag. I mean - she has to "prepare" HER HUSBAND? I could just hear the conversation: "Honey - what are those things? Do you have those also?"

Your husband has seen your tits. He knows that other women have similar (well, at least in principle) ones, so he will hardly be surprised.

And small children don´t even pay attention if somebody has a top or not. And if they are bigger it is about time for them to see what breasts look like. And supposedly they have also seen yours, so that will not be a surprise for them either. Topless sunbathing is not sexual.

Islandmom, many years ago, our family were at Kuta Beach. My kids who were 8, 4 and 3 didn't appear to notice the topless women at all, while my husband did a little not so subtle gawking.

I waited till a man in a speedo walked by (no man should wear them unless they are a competitive swimmer!) and said to my now ex, 'he's well hung, isn't he'? LOL He kept his eyes where they belonged after that! ;-)

The responses here seem to be awfully judgmental of you when you just asked one question. People are generally only toples right on the sand, though I suppose men might walk short distances from the beach topless.

I don't think you need to prepare anyone for anything - - although on a lot of places along the Riviera, you might need to be prepared for the fact there IS no sand! (only pebbly beaches!)

Where are you going?

Best wishes,

Rex

LOL Baldrick !

Your comment reminded me of the premiere episode of what used to be one of the funniest shows on TV, 'Malcolm in the Middle', wherein the harried mother did the laundry at home en famille, in a frenzy and topless. First of course, she had to shave her husband's back while he read the newspaper and the 3 kids ate their breakfast all at the kitchen table. The doorbell rings and the mother answers the door because on one else pays her any attention. Its a child care worker come to investigate this unusual family and the scene that follows between the two of them having a conversation while the visitor tries to avert her eyes is hilarious !

Islandmom : If you ever plan to take your hubby and kids to any French Caribbean island, be forewarned that toplessness (and more,... or less I should say) is de rigeur there - though pool and beachside only.

No wonder islandmom is concerned being from a country that has a national crisis over a very fleeting glance of a ... gasp ... nipple on television.

It wasn't even a nipple that caused the "crisis". Her nipple was covered by jewelry....but her breast... (gasp).. was exposed.

I can only imagine how our elected officials would have reacted if she actually had exposed a nipple.

Some pretty snotty people populate these boards. I bet many of them even consider themselves to be tolerant!

islandmom is a long time member of this forum.

So classy to see the people proud to insult her and call her names.

Keith

Keith, it appears that in some quarters, modesty is a trait to be ridiculed.

I think preparation is very important. Don't stare. Don't point. Don't scream. Don't drool.

If one has never been exposed (no pun intended) to public nudity, one should be forewarned.

No, Rapunzll, in some quarters it seems that viewpoints that are different are being ridiculed.

I'd like to make a relevant comment in the midst of this somewhat racy and sometimes irrelevant commentary by others. I have stayed at hotels on the Riviera (specifically in Nice) where the women used the hotel pool and sunbathed on the pool patio in the nude. So you might try to give the kids some advance warning about that too. Good luck.

Wear dark glasses so no one can track where your eyes are wandering. Try not to drool too much, and wipe the smile off your face. ((a)) ((b))

Going topless is almost a thing of the past..Years ago were the norms, perhaps because were a way for us women to show to the world that we were free to do whatever we wanted ..and going topless or going braless was indeed a way to show to everyone that we came a long way.
The new generation don't need to prove to anyone that they are free, and I have hardly saw a teenager going topless.
Two years ago I spent a couple of days at the Riviera I noticed only two topless ladies sunbathing , and they were perhaps in their late forties.

BTW, my 10 years old grandson ,after the initial curiousity of seeing uncovered breasts, acted indifferent and did not stare..:)

I was on a beach on the Riviera some time ago, where a woman with large breasts was sunbathing topless. A small french boy, said in a loud voice to his mother; 'maman, elle a des tres grands...' at which point his mother intervened with SHHHHHH.

Actually, preparing your husband might mean telling him whether or not you might also be going topless.

I would not make a big deal about it to the kids or it will be a big deal. People in my experience do not walk from the beach to the shop for an ice cream topless. Its the beach and pool that you will find people topless sunbathing. If you are uncomfortable with this then maybve choose another area for your holiday as I assume you will be on the beach too?

Also after you get adjusted to your surroundings it does become normal. People don't sit and gawp at topless women its seen as childish and rude. I was in Greece a few years back and the Irish Lads were a bit fascinated by the "view" at first and then even they admitted it became more normal after a few days. I have to agree with NYC FoodSnob on this one.

Anyway don't knock it till you tried it :-). Alternatively just think God gave them to us for a reason.

Actually the more you travel the world you will see that many cultures don't practice topless sunbathing, it doesn't make them simple minded.

When I have been on the Riviera with my son when he was young, I just casually mentioned on the way to the beach that some of the women would be w/o bathing suit tops.

I would hope a husband would behave himself properly and not act simple minded, I'm sure yours will be fine.
Remember the old expression "be cool"?

BTW maybe you are going to see some bottomless men so you behave!

BTWII, you are also going to see some bodies that you will all wish were covered up.

It's very unlikely that anyone will be topless anywhere but on the beach itself, although Ihave seen topless women in Sète buying things from the vendors near the parking lot (that's not the Riviera, though).

When my kids were young and we went to the beach in France, I went topless - ooh, aaah! My kids aren't in therapy over it. Don't knock it until you've tried it:) That said, I agree that toplessness does seem to be less prevalent now than even 10 years ago, at least on beaches. The number of topless, and even totally nude, bathers and boaters on the Dordogne is another story;)

NYCFoodSnob: "are people really this juvenile?" I believe islandmom WAS writing about juveniles. What is wrong with preparing them to not stare or comment or point? This would save embarrassment on the part of everyone. I'm sure her kids will eventually study early Renaissance art, let's hope they become less arrogance-minded than you.

Last September we stayed at the Metropole in Beaulieu Sur Mer, and there was one woman who remained topless just about the whole time she was outdoors. Beachside, poolside, going to the cabana to get a drink, bathrooms. She did put her top on at lunch thank God. I wasn't offended, just embarrassed for her because, well , let's just say she looked much better with the top on.

Islandmom - I don't see anything wrong with explaining what to expect to your young children. Just explain that although it's not the norm to see this at your local beaches, in this particular part of the world it is normal, etc. Keeping it short will help not to bring extra attention to it. Sorry to see that some people were so harsh to you when you just asked what to expect so you could explain to your family.

I've been photographing naked families for many years and these are some of the most beautiful portraits I've ever taken. When that book gets published, my identity will no longer be secret.

I believe in a God who views the naked human body as one of His finest creations. I don't care how out-of-shape you are, I still believe there's much beauty to be found in nakedness and the simple feeling of freedom that comes with it.

Nobody was eschewing the value of modesty but what's to enjoy about being fully clothed on a beach? I was attacking the use of the word "embarrass," particularly as it pertained to the husband (a supposed adult).

I was not calling islandmom any names or judging her, and any accusation is based on false assumption. Nowhere in my first post do I refer to the OP directly. The more intelligent readers realize the "you" means you.

My honest comments were meant to strike a blow to all the prehistoric puritans who think they have a right to tell me when to exercise my God given freedoms and how I should feel about my nakedness. When I'm on a sunny beach, I think of God. Why not celebrate and rejoice by getting naked? Do other primates get dressed for a swim?

I moved to NYC from Ohio at a very young age to escape a life surrounded by small minds. We are spoiled here because this city won't tolerate small minds. They get eaten alive. We do have a tendency to take our freedoms (however elitist) for granted. Families have been sunbathing naked on Southampton and Fire Island beaches for decades and you don't hear a peep from anyone. Nobody cares or feels threatened or embarrassed.

IMO, there's something wrong with a culture that embraces many forms of violence but doesn't embrace its children with naked love and teach compassion and understanding or the beauty of a woman's breast. I'll take watching bare breasts any day over the scenes of war in Iraq or the testosterone driven body slamming at your average football game. Furthermore, no man (especially a politician) should have any say over what I do with my body (unless he wants a kickboxer's heel smashed into his face).

There's are many reasons why 40%+ women are anorgasmic today. Clinicians believe this is a staggering and disturbing trend and I'm all for attacking each and every cause.

I have several Orthodox friends who don't share my view on nudity. I respect them even though I don't agree with their religious dogma. But, they would never go to the French Riviera. I can't even get them to consider Rome.

Postscript: I should add that I never go topless in public unless there's fewer than 20 people on the beach. But on private property that includes a beach-front, no problem. I've even sunbathed naked with a few naked priests. But that's a whole other thread.

NYC- do you know how pompous and judgemental you sound? I'm guessing you don't. Sounds like anyone who doesn't agree with you is unenlightened in your book.

There are other points of view. Maybe you should respect them as you expect yours to be respected.

The first time my husband and I took his then six year old daughter to French St. Martin, we knew that she would be seeing things she was not accustomed to seeing in public. In an effort to thwart any shock or possible embarassing comments we just casually explained to her that different countries have different cultures and that toplessness at the beach is considered very normal in French countries.

I could see on her face that she was quite surprised by the notion when we first arrived, but after about a half hour she didn't seem to give a hoot. Or would that be hooters? :)

I also met some friends in St. Martin for the day once and their two very young daughters didn't seem to pay any mind to the topless woman dining next to us at a beachside cafe. I honestly think that as long as they know to expect it, American children don't really pay much mind to topless women. At least after the initial idea of it wears off.