Reactions to solo traveling?
 

I visited a neighbor this afternoon. She's an elderly woman who lived with a Significant Other for many years until he died. She lives alone now, with just a dog and a cat for company. She seems to know a lot about me and my family, having lived in the neighborhood for many years, so she asked various questions about them and about my life.

When I told her that I'd been to Germany last month and that I am planning a trip to the Yucatán in November, she was horrified that I travel alone at 78 years of age.

I really don't think it's a big deal. It's not like I'm a tottering old lady, and aside from not having the stamina that I had when I was younger, I don't see much difference between then and now.

Except for the gray/white/silver hair, of course.

Some folks 'get it' . . . and some don't . . . and will never be convinced.

I have friends who cannot even imagine traveling solo. I travel solo a lot it is often easier/better than traveling w/ others.

>>Except for the gray/white/silver hair, of course.<< (You can do something about the gray hair ;) )

You're slightly ahead of me, Pegontheroad, but not by much and I have no plans to give up my solo adventures to some pretty obscure corners of the globe. I know I've done something right when no one in the vicinity speaks a word of English. It's symbolic, I think, of the control we allow ourselves to give up for the time being...simply exhilarating, even (or especially) when it goes wrong!

This came at the right time! I'm going to Paris alone in October and starting to get the nervous jitters embarking on an international trip alone. Sorry I cannot give insight into solo traveling but want to say Thank You for sharing and hope more solo travelers contribute their stories.

I think more people at home (in the US) react to the idea of a solo woman traveler than people at the actual destinations I travel to (Europe, Asia, Australia). My friends and family are used to it by now and don't give it a second thought.

Boojzie, Paris is a great destination for a solo traveler. I spend at least a week there every year. What aspects make you the most nervous? We can help you with that I bet.

Hi PEGONTHEROAD,

I hear you. I just returned from ten great days in London solo. Usually I join a tour after several days alone in a city, but not this time because I have been to most of the popular venues in Britain like Stonehenge and Bath a few times before. Not interested in venturing into the countryside or hinterland by myself on public transportation though. If I recall you have traveled quite a bit through Germany, right?

I substitute teach a great deal in a leafy suburb where I live outside Boston. Unless asked directly, I never discuss my travel plans because they are often met with the same reaction as you experienced with your friend. "They" who haven't done it, will never understand. Easier to say little....

You go Peg. It's the only way to travel. Just read some of these trip reports for reassurance! I am just a few years behind you and I am getting sorted for 2 months in Europe/ Middle East. Can't wait! And about to get my hair coloured to take some more years off.

I'm a big fan of solo travel, and although I, too, have less energy than I did I'm certainly not planning to give it up any time soon. (Peg has a good decade on me - way to go!) I let my hair go grey, finally, a couple of years back, and now get offered seats on buses and trains, not to mention senior discounts (I am qualified for them, but I no longer have to prove it).

I find that I'm often asked whether I'm not afraid to travel solo, to which my response is to ask what it is I'm supposed to fear.

Boojzie - plenty of inspiration for solo travel here: http://www.fodors.com/community/trav...collection.cfm

I guess I didn't answer the question. The reaction I'm currently getting is a mix of support and "You're going to one of the most romantic places in the world, alone?" I just say "yes" and leave it at that. Belinda, thanks for the kind comment. I think just simply going alone makes me a little nervous but I'm really looking forward to it.

Yucatan in November, wow.

My feeling is, let them think whatever they want to. It's never going to change, and never has changed, my feelings about traveling alone, when I was single, when I was first married, when I was a mother leaving children at home, or whatever. It is what I do. If they don't want the experience, that's their problem.

I find solo travel a great self-indulgence and I have NO intention of giving it up until I have no other options! When else do I get to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and also get to stop doing it when I choose!?!

And BTW, I have an aunt who still travels solo -- her last trip was, as I recall, when she was 92 or 93. She's now 95 and is planning her next solo trip. :-)

And yes, do check out that solo-travel link that thursdaysd provided!

Boojzie, I think you are wize returning to a place you are familiar with.

I'm filled with admiration for those of you who travel alone. My main problem would be that I have the most appalling sense of direction and it seems to be getting worse as I get older. I would go to Paris, which I know reasonable well, and to New York for the same reason, plus with the grid format of the streets in NYC it's easy for even a dummy like me to navigate. We are just back from Rome and left to my own devices I'd have spent the entire 6 days stranded on a street corner (with a map) in a state of panic, which I know is ridiculous. Lol

Wow, cathies, that's pretty interesting, though my DH has the same problem, and I just can't fathom it. He can literally get lost 5 blocks away from our house and we live in a "grid city" too. I think I have one of the most innate senses of direction of anyone I've ever known. I know immediately if we are driving or walking in the wrong direction, whether in daytime or in the dead of night with no moon, just by virtue of the position of the sun and stars. My body and brain just tell me...no, we should have turned left, because the sea is behind us, or because the sun is to the right of us, or because we passed that farmhouse on the left a half-hour ago. And no, I have no skills in astronomy, or any science skills at all, really.I just instinctively KNOW how to get to places, even ones I've never been to before. And once I've figured out a route to anywhere, it's indelibly etched in my brain, forever.

Looking back, I think this must be because my dad, who was a mountaineer and hiker and map reader galore, literally used to take me out into the woods (when I was probably about 8 years old ) and give me a watch and a compass and water and snacks and tell me to sit still for a half-hour, then find my way back to "base camp," wherever that might have been, usually a forest in New England or the Shenandoah Mountains, within 2 hours, or he was going to come find me. Trekking in, which was usually an hour or two hike, I'd have to make note of what I saw along the paths on the way - moose droppings, sassafrass plants, nuts and berries, clearings and stands of certain kinds of trees, those deer antler scratchings on the bark of trees, raccoon tracks, shrubbery that's been grazed on or flattened, shiny mica on the ground... I think I became hyper-observant because of that (which probably explains why when I write I am adjective-crazy and way overdetailed). I cannot imagine living in a world where I wasn't always completely oriented. It would make me crazy. Though, as I say, my spouse is hopeless and he's not dumb at all and seems to get by fine most of the time.
Yes, these days my dad would probably be accused of child abuse, but I am ever so navigationally grateful for what he taught me in that regard.

Quite frankly I do not think this is an issue. who cares what neighbours think. go for it

Your neighbor is speaking out of her fears - that has nothing to do with you. You go, girl!

For the map and directionally challenged posters, use your gps in pedestrian mode.

StCirq, we got a bit lost on this recent trip. It was an earlier stage of the trip and we were driving from St. Andrews to Edinburgh. I was quite pleased with myself when I had the good sense to whip out my iPhone and use the compass to prove we were heading N/E rather than south. The drivers were quite impressed. :)

By the way, I might have survived your childhood adventures at that age. I seem to remember that I was ok back then. And, as a young adult I worked in the city and easily found my way all over the place.

For the map and directionally challenged posters, use your gps in pedestrian mode.

Sorry for the double post, not sure how that happened!

The liberty to search just where you want them, when you wish, and the way you want is just amazing—behold, the strength of one!

I suppose I wouldn't mind traveling with someone else, if I could find someone who wanted to do their own thing in the same places I wanted to visit, so they wouldn't need babysitting and wouldn't require me to adjust my sightseeing plans for the day. I do miss having someone to eat dinner with and talk about my day. So I guess my ideal traveling companion would be someone who doesn't want to spend any time together except at dinnertime!

I've been accused of being a loner because of traveling solo, but the alternative is not to travel where I want to go, since there's nobody in my life who wants/can afford to go where I do. I prefer to be alone in Paris for my vacation rather than spend it at home with company!

I met a ~75 year old cycling from the UK to Santiago a couple of weeks back. He had his 'phone and a book. He told me when he had read a book he would leave it by a park bench and buy another.

Didn't there used to be a culture of leaving books for strangers to read?

I still leave books behind and I'm a bit miffed if I stay somewhere where there isn't a collection to rummage through.

Almost in your age bracket Peg and I too travel alone.
I have always traveled & when my husband died it didn't stop
me. In fact, just returned from Munich, Danube cruise & Prague.

While I am somewhat geographically-challenged I manage & part of the fun of travel is doing all the R&D beforehand.
And I have definitely learned to travel light.

That's the thing isn't it Rhea? You learn to only take what you can comfortably manage - and that getting lost often leads to interesting discoveries.

I'm looking at you Cathie ;). Who knows what fascinating things you might find! Not that I'm suggesting you ditch your lovely other half - just that getting lost doesn't matter, provided you have the name of your hotel & enough for a martini, scotch or champers & the taxi fare home in your pocket.

I spent 3/4 of my first trip to Venice lost - but then I never have a strict schedule of things to tick off, so it hardly matters.

What you sat is true bokhara2, I did make sure I had the address of my apartment in my phone and some cash in my pocket. And no, I hope I won't be travelling solo for ages. My DH is a great travelling partner.

Solo travel is cool if all goes well. Being stuck with, for example, a sprained ankle all by myself in a place where I could hardly communicate due to language barriers was not so entertaining. Okay, I'm not the bravest person on the planet and have never been. Compared to you people here, from what I hear about your trips and plans, I am not brave at all. Anyway, my conclusion from that experience is not to travel alone to places/countries where I cannot communicate with people.

No, I do not expect everyone in the world to speak my language. On the contrary, the result of all these thoughts is my plan for this summer: Four weeks in Poland to attend a language class.
Even here in Germany where language skills are generally valued high, this requires some explaining. Why Polish? Eh, why not?

Solo travellers need all the encouragement they can get. She may have also been from an era where the husbands did all the "planning" etc so cant conceive of the notion of going alone. Be the example she needs to see. I hope to be travelling forever( or until funds run out :)

One of the key components of being a solo traveler is that you don't care what other people think about solo traveling.

"..you don't care what other people think..."

I suspect the pool of solo travelers includes a great variety of people, including those who care what people think. So not sure it's a "key" component. I do think though, that travel itself is something some of us need to do, alone or otherwise, so maybe going alone is simply a measure of one's desire to travel, even when there's no one to go with. Or, maybe a measure of one's desire to spend time alone in general, traveling or not, as in my case.

Get up on the wrong side of the bed, Sandra?

You're assuming facts not here in evidence as to my motivation, for one thing.

Many of my friends are women I know through church. They've raised families and stayed in the neighborhood. Most don't have the resources to travel, and when they do, they go in a tour.

I posted this topic because I've noticed how often acquaintances have this same reaction, though most of them are merely impressed, but not horrified, as Jeanne was. I don't know her well, but she seems to be a very fearful person.

I visited her because my paralyzed neighbor was concerned about her and had requested that ask her why there was a police car at her house earlier in the week. When I asked, she told me that there was a consistent effort to pull some kind of scam on her by telephone, and that the police checked on her occasionally.

She seems pretty negative about life in general and about flying over the ocean in particular. That's undoubtedly one reason why the idea of traveling solo scares her.

Gertie: I have enjoyed your trip reports in the past. I hope you post again after your next trip.

I travel solo to France (a lot) and the reaction I get is how brave I am. I tell them that it really is very easy. Then the next thing some people will say is why don't I take a vacation with my husband. To that I respond that he likes to go to Las Vegas and I don't. I like to go to France and he doesn't.

As an earlier poster stated, when traveling solo, I decide what I want to do, when and how. I love it!

Regarding the comment about leaving books behind, I do that every trip. I have a Nook, but don't travel with it. I take books and have left them at apartments, hotels and even in the airport. I've also left behind guidebooks because I don't feel like lugging them back home.

As I've thought about Jeanne's reaction to my traveling solo, I realized that she's stuck somewhere in the past--maybe the 60's.

She has a computer but doesn't use it, so she doesn't know how easy it is to reserve and buy seats on the planes, find hotels (either in guidebooks or elsewhere) and check them out on TripAdvisor or other sites, rent a car or buy train tickets online.

I remember how pleased I was when guidebooks started listing website information and email addresses. It seems to me that before that Rick Steves had a sample letter in the local language, and that you'd copy that and send it to the hotel.

Do I have that last item right? I know he had a fax sheet one could send, but who had a fax back in 1998?

"It seems to me that before that Rick Steves had a sample letter in the local language, and that you'd copy that and send it to the hotel. "

I thought you were right, so I checked. I have a copy of the second edition of "Europe Through the Back Door", from 1981, and at that time he was recommending that you travel without reservations. His 1998 "France, Belgium and the Netherlands" does have a reservation request to be faxed to hotels, but it's in English, as is the equivalent form in the back of his French phrase book. The only other ETDB I have is from 2007, and it has the same form.

I believe that back in the 90's if you didn't have a fax machine you could send faxes from places like Kinkos, no? But email is definitely preferable.

Maybe extroverts tend to travel more in groups and introverts don't mind going it alone .
Broadly speaking...

I remember traveling without reservations, though I usually did reserve for the first and last day. The earliest Rick Steves I have are Germany, Austria and Switzerland, 1998, and France, Belgium, and the Netherlands 1999.

It was easier to do that back then. It seems to me that people didn't travel to Europe as much as they do now.

Faxing was expensive back in the day. I seem to recall paying something like $10 to fax from Kinkos.

I think it is great and inspiring that so many women DO travel alone.

My first time was just last December- a few days alone in Paris.
I came to this board for guidance,inspiration, and a general calming of my fears.

I just spent a some days alone in Aix last month.

So yes, I have now traveled alone in Europe twice, but the thing is...
I really don't like it.
Which is odd to me, because in my normal day to day life I spend a lot of time alone, and I am a very capable woman.

After this last trip I have come to realize that I just prefer to be with someone else when traveling-no shame, it is just my preference.

It was not about fear, as I felt completely safe in France, and in transit, but more of feeling lonely.

But on the flip side if it means not traveling or traveling alone, I would choose traveling alone-or I might even try a small women's tour group next time if I don't have a compatible travel partner (compatible being the key word).

I was "onto" Rick Steves with his first book "Europe through the Back Door (1980). Back then, you could write Steve with your proposed itinerary, and he sent back an audiocassette with suggestions. I still have his personalized commentary/critique. Who knew the business that he would become? Wonder if my cassette tape is worth anything now!?
BTW, even now, when I tell colleagues or friends that I have rented an apartment (again) to travel solo in Europe, MOST give me a pained grimace and soothingly say, "I'm sorry. Couldn't you find anyone to go with?" I find it amusing! (I am in the 50 and under crowd).

Some people just don't understand woman traveling alone at any age. And some people have the (unjustified) fear of travel in Mexico.

I do both (go alone, and go to Mexico) without issue.

You're an inspiration, Peg. :-)