I liked this one:

"I need a beach on the Cote d'Azur without nude people"

I'd add those who title their post vaguely. For example, "Paris". Why would I want to open a post like that? The same goes for "Urgent help needed", then you open it to find something inane like, "Where can I get my morning bagel?".

Dobby, I miss him.

I got told off for asking what they meant by "me and my husband" :-)

Thanks for a good chuckle on a gloomy Monday morning Whathello!

My favourite the woman who was insistent she could use U.S. Dollars because she had done so in a few places around the Caribbean.

Or the woman who complained that she had always heard how flirty Italian men are and then was furious when she went to Italy and none of them flirted with her or paid her any attention at all.

So, it is Itinerary ?

No problem with 'itinéraire' though. But I've always a problem with itinerary - more when talking. I guess adding another 'syllabe' makes it impossible for me.

Advise and Advice : I think there are more native who make the mistake ! I write advize ... well not on that one but I've got (another) problem with some z and s and c.

I forgot some guys who are saving money by typing the minimum of words :

'2 hours layover Rome : enough time ?' and that's it.

It may have been on TripAdvisor, but there was a post from a woman who took the Eurostar between London and Paris and was cranky that nobody told her 1) about the one hour time difference (I can see where it's possible to overlook that) and 2) that Paris and London had different currencies (I can see where that's possible if you live under a rock).

I may regret asking this, but what is about tipping the pilot?

Kyras You will regret it.

European culture is to tip if the service is exceptional
USA culture is to tip everyone.

Hence Europeans can upset Americans in USA by not tipping
Similarly Americans distort the market in Europe when they tip "normally"

So the test is should you tip the pilot of the aircraft when you arrive and why not.

My test is always would you tip your lawyer or the check in clerk but all the same.

To us Europeans, we think "just pay people a living wage"
To Americans I guess, "you have to pay to get people to do their job."

INCOMING!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Let us make a separate thread on tipping...
When I joined Fodors there was such a thread going on, I was directly immersed.

(in any case, am furbishing my weapons, loading my rifles).

But still... I had to get my financial's director approval on expenses that took place in the USA, because I had added - by hand - the tip that I had given. The bookkeeper was refusing to refund me 'since tipping is optional, therefore I should pay myself for the tips I chose to give' [in the USA].

whathello, me too

Let us change the subject.

What about the guy asking how to get rid of boils 'somewhere in Europe' because he was traveling and had had no time to go and see a doc. And how much would that cost, please (like he was going to keep them growing if it were too expensive).

Come to think of it, why is it "me and the wife" but never "me and the husband". Aren't men objects every bit as much as women? Or, maybe it's a secret and we mean to keep it that way.

I'm not sure if it was this forum, but a woman was afraid that she would be claustrophobic spending hours under the ocean, travelling between London and Paris. I gently pointed out that you can see France from Dover and people sometimes swim across.

That's the thing about tipping in States.. they call it "optional" officially.. but its really not.. it is an important part of the workers wages in some jobs.They are paid an accordingly low wage with the presumption of a certain amount of tips coming in. and are taxed on that amount whether they actually get that minimum amount of tips they are already going to be taxed on.

Tips should be labelled "service fee" and included in bills or they should be abolished and wages raised, but that won't happen. Change is hard.

KyraS: >>I may regret asking this, but what is about tipping the pilot?<<

A Fodors classic from long ago http://www.fodors.com/community/euro...-the-pilot.cfm

What about the person who complained that the portions were too small at a tapas bar.

I am always bemused by the mothers who ask for help planning their adult children's trips. There was even a woman on TripAdvisor who was planning her son's honeymoon.

When my kids were in university and traveling on their own, I preferred to hear nothing about their plans until they returned home safely. If I had known about the slippery hiking trails in Sicily or the overcrowded ferry in Guangzhou, I wouldn't have slept well.

I've noticed that most of the people using "me and my husband" in the nominative case are from the UK. I wondered if it was a fad? Even worse, though, are the people who say "my husband and I" in the accusative case.

It's the DD, DS, SIL, MIL, DH that mystifies me - how hard is it to type 'husband' 'daughter' etc. I always have to translate who they're talking about.

Another source of bemusement - people from remote parts of the world who think they can see Rome, Florence, Venice, Cinque Terre and the Amalfi Coast in five days.

I'm bemused by that, too, Blueeyedcod. It's harder than actual translation from one language to another for me.

Whathello, the reason I brought up the tipping issue was that there was a thread on, I believe, Fodors (but might have been TA) a couple of years ago from a guy who took some phenomenally expensive luxury trip to the Italian or French Riviera, rented a mammoth chartered yacht for something like US$12,000 a day, stayed at the poshest hotels, and just wanted us all to know that we, too, could share in the experience if we greased the palms of everyone in sight as generously as he had done. When it was pointed out to him that hundreds/thousands of dollars (and I'm guessing they WERE U.S. dollars) in tips was not only unnecessary but offensive, he got over-the-top insulting and implied that none of us had a clue about how to travel in Europe. The thread was endless, went on for days. It was both hilarious and downright pathetic.

Don't worry about itinéraire. I imagine a French speaker might have a problem adding the extra syllable, but we're talking about native Americans and other anglophones who just can't seem to be able to spell this very simple word.

I can't believe I missed the post about the guy with boils. Hope we don't run into him.

Blue, agree

and why DS but not DSIL ?

Danon - ouch my eyes are burning!

StCirq - I remember that guy. I saw him on TA insulting everyone in sight. TA are so particular about rude posts so he was removed over and over and that just increased his rants. He has this monstrous list of Parisian restaurants too and got so offended when told some wouldn't fit his grandchild's pram inside - but then concluded they would fit everyone in if they were tipped enough money. Eyeroll.