please help: returned and DEPRESSED
 

ok, i got back tuesday. i will post a trip report shortly. last year i went to london and paris at the end of may. came home and felt good about being back. this year went (same time range) to roma, paris, and london. now i have spent a total of 6 days in each city.

but this year i am thoroughly depressed. and i live in socal with great weather, sites, blah blah blah blah. no narrow streets, no massive amount of walking, no good food, no accents, no flavor...i could go on for days.

i am planning to go to greece next year at the same time again (will throw in a stop over in roma). but how will i handle the year long wait? how do you guys do it? i was fine last year, but where the HELL is my gelato now? i need it bad. i was use to two serving per day.

even people at work are commenting that i look down. i am not hiding my feelings very well....so i close my eyes and just enjoy the memories i have in my mind.

Hi
Work on your photo album--don't just throw the pictures in, add little souvenirs, napkins, brochures, turn it into a travelogue. Add interesting captions that include some historical facts, or just amusing anecdotes. Give a party with a travel theme (even just pizza if budget is tight) and leave your gorgeous album out for people to thumb through. They won't like it as much as you do, but that's okay, maybe someone will ask a polite question about one of the photos and you can expound on the view or the hotel or the gelato.

Work on the trip report.

Rent a couple of good movies with lots of local scenes:there are plenty of recommendations here at fodors on past threads (search on Movies) or just scan shelves at your video store. And be pleased with yourself when you recognize the buildings or the street corners.

Start planning Greece trip now.

good luck

Hi,

I'm not usually too depressed when returning from holidays, mainly because I like where I live. :)

HOWEVER, I do go into mourning whenever I leave Paris. It starts on the ride to the airport - my little nose pressed to the cab window, tears in my eyes, lump in my throat. So I decided to make a deal with myself: I acknowledge right up front that I will be displeased about going home, and give myself an official three day "mourning period". During that time, I openly admit that it sucks to be out of Paris, I am not happy, and I have no intention to PRETEND to be happy. Pooh on everything. Merde.

And then, at the end of those three days, it's out of my system and moping time is up. I make plans to spend time with friends and go out and do things that will remind me that, while I ain't in Paris, I still have it pretty good.

So put on a little black armband and tell everyone you have a couple of days' grace before you can be expected to buck up, and that if they tell you to smile they are being very rude.

Don't know if that will work for you, but it works for me.

A lot of what Elaine said, I throw myself in putting together my album, which last year's Italy trip is a bit more than 6 inches thick! I get books, novels set in the area, I get movies, I also put a lot of my pictures around me both at home and at the office, my cubicle at work could be called Little Italy at this point. And most important, start thinking and planning next year's trip! On my two last trips, I also had a video of the trips, so I watched those more often than once!

It is a horrible thing to come back to reality, isn't it? :)

Southern California has no "accents"? Do you mean foreign voices speaking English, or foreign languages altogether? Either way, I can't imagine a better place than Southern California in which to hear a huge variety of foreign voices. It might help to hang out in the immigrant districts of whatever city you live in, and EVERY city has its immigrant districts down there!

I read and post frequently on this BB plus a couple others for travel, I subscribe to several travel magazines, rent foreign movies, study a foreign language, eat in French restaurants, give advice to others going to Europe, have friends who love to travel too, etc. It doesn't so much help the depression upon returning from a great trip (which I completely understand BTW) but makes travel a for-sure thing, and more a part of your day-to-day life.

If you are serious you might consider how you could take more than 1 trip per year &/or how you could stay a longer time (time without pay or a leave of absense from work a possibility?).

Where in Socal are you? If you're in the San Diego area, I can send you to a hole in the wall restaurant where you swear you'd just walked into a real Italian family trattoria. Everyone is fresh from Italy and loves to talk about their home country. The owner greets you with a hug and will sit and chat with you if it's not too busy. You can practice your Italian. And the food? :-d

Point is, there are probably lots of places like that all over SoCal. Ask around.

I live in paradise--Hawaii--and I always come home from Europe and fall into a funk. I miss my Paris! I have started to cope with this by planning my NEXT trip!! Oh, but I see you have one planned....OK so for your next trip, make sure you buy little foodstuffs there that will remind you of your favorite places in Europe: Olives, tea, cheese, candies, whatever. I bring these out when the depression urge comes on and I need to relive the vacation!

As for gelato...surely you have a good gelateria in SoCal?? Even here in Honolulu, tucked away on a side street, I go to a special gelato maker for my fix. The owner and his friends even sing to me in Italian, if they are there! siiiigggghhhhh

ucsun, Welcome to my world...It is normal to feel depressed, restless and miss all these beautiful places that you left behind..
Dont worry, eventually it will pass.
Start planning for next year..Eat Italian or french food...Listen to Bocelli or Pavarotti..their songs will bring back many happy memories.
Lets us know how you are coping..
Ciao..

Aloha Melissa..Tell me is Patti Kitchen( Chinese restaurant) still open in Ala Moana Shopping Center?
I used to eat there very often when I lived in Honolulu years ago..
Mahalo,
Ciao, Kismet

ucsun, I live in the beautiful West Indies and continually fall prey to the typical "coming home" blues after a wonderful European trip. It lasts me for over a month or so, at times.

All of the above is wonderful advice and all things I try to do, as well. Also, planning my next trip and surfing Fodors to help other travelers with my past desintations is a God send.

Good luck and keep your chin up! Your next trip will be here before you know it.

Maybe I just discovered why I am an addict on this forum. It is part of my fix. Movies, books, documentaries, post cards, my photos, foreign students, European friends, etc., also help.

Once Paris and/or Amsterdam a/o Rome a/o Istanbul etc get in your blood you are hooked. Then the urge is to continue to explore Europe, trying to find a better nirvana, secure in knowing that you have keepers that will always be there for you.

Thanks for the post, uscun. I lived in Newport Beach for many years and always felt relieved when I was on the afternoon KLM602 flight to Amsterdam, every year or two.

No good food in SoCal! I beg to differ. There are a vast array of American and ethnic restaurants to choose from. Everyone may yell at me but, frankly, I think we have the best food in the world.

Now, to get over your travel funk. Usually I take 2 major trips a year and start planning the next one even before I've gone on the first one. Travel planning for me is a big part of the fun.

You can start now by culling all the info on Greece from Fodors (refreshing/adding to as time goes by) and the Internet. And, you can pull up threads on where you have been and contribute - part of the fun of travel.

I never want to come home when the trip ends - my choice would be to travel endlessly and come home for a couple of months periodically, check on my house, family, etc. and head out again. Oh, if I was wealthy!!

If you have not visited Asia, (i.e. Thailand, China, Turkey) check out trips there; they are very inexpensive and a whole new culture. You might even squeeze in a trip before Greece.

And, for a replacement to gelato, try Ben & Jerry's Karmel Sutra ice cream. I'm very hooked!

There, there, ucsun, you have a friend in woe with me too.

I just returned from an extended trip to Italy to attend an extended "hippie" wedding and I am going through withdrawal myself.

I have built what could be mistaken for a shrine to Italy and France in my office, my co-workers mumble "bloody, Italy" when they pass.

In So. Cal there is an Italian Culture Society in Westwood and there are numerous Italian restaurants where you can linger. Come on, we have some good restaurants here, if you post which area you frequent, we can let you know where to go.

and....

where in SoCal are you that you don't hear accents?

This is a bit of a different answer, but in addition to the suggestions mentioned above (working on the album, planning the next trip, spending hours on Fodors), there's one other thing I also do (and I swear, this isn't meant to sound all preachy or anything.) However, whenever I feel "trip withdrawal" (or just feel down in general), I go volunteer at a local soup kitchen or children's hospital. I'm not trying to minimize your sadness at no longer being abroad (believe me, I go through it too and as you can tell from the above responses, it is completely common!) I just find working with those who might not have the health or means to travel pulls me out of my doldrums a lot quicker. It's amazing, I've talked to terminally sick kids who rather than being sad, actually ask to hear about my travels and love looking through photos and sharing my experiences. I'm not saying people should feel guilty for traveling, just that focusing on the positive really makes a difference once you're back (hey, you're in socal, the weather's great, and I bet there's lots right here at home you may not have explored yet.) That, and planning your next trip will hopefully get you through. Oh, and I also live in socal and think we have great food options :) Hang in there ucsun - look forward to reading your trip report!

>Go on holiday again and/or get a life coach and/or hit the Prozac.<

m_k2, You haunt this forum night and day with your vitriol. Why don't you go away and get even a glimmer of life you allegedly lead.

I have a fool proof way to avoid post-travels funk. I TALK about travel all year long. My travels have led to a gig teaching travel classes at the local community college, libraries, travel clubs, shops, etc. So when I'm not planning or on a trip, I'm planning a class or seminar. And, answering the students' questions and helping them work out their own itineraries helps me sort of live vicariously through them and I sort of feel I'm in Europe all year long.

ucsun: I can totally relate to the "downer" you are experiencing. I leave for an extended trip to France & Italy in about 2 weeks, and reading your post reminds me of the way I will feel mid-August!! All of the above suggestions are good, especially about counting your blessings -- you get to go to Greece "soon" !! Plan, plan and over-plan that trip... immerse yourself in it, and in all things "travel", after you allow yourself a brief but much-need "mourning" period.
And as for living in SoCal, I lived there the first 1/2 of my life, and it's great - but nothing compares to Europe!! and once you have the bug...
Speaking of which, I am a newbie, but I've already seen m_kingdom's nastiness on several threads.
What's your deal, MK2?? The comments on the Reagan thread were good, until you brought politics into it. Maybe you should think about doing something other than adding comments here, because you add nothing of value. Prozac, indeed...

Hi Kismet, Patti's is alive and well in the Ala Moana Center Food court! Come back and visit some time....

Dear UCSun

I got back two weeks ago from a trip to London and Paris and still feel sad being back but I knew that would happen but wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world. I was blessed with beautiful, sunny weather everyday.

I wish I had the luxury of taking two big vacations a year. I'm hoping to take 1 big one a year. I think my next trip will be to Italy, so my mind is starting to think about all I want to see and do while there and that is helping a little.

Although I haven't started my photo album yet I have some of my pictures from my trip at work to remind me of the glorious time I had. I always order doubles of all pictures.

I looked high and low for M_kingdom - never found him/her.

UCSUN it will get better.

ucsun, I know exactly how you feel. I got back from Italy almost a month ago and I was depressed for the first couple of weeks.

You just have to kick it around and get it out of your system. Time is the only cure.....eventually you will feel better. Just start planning your next trip!

Well, yes, being on vacation is much more fun than the every day struggles of real life. You should be depressed when you return to the rat race. I find beer and wine each evening help lots and lots--as long as you don't overdo it.

Mahalo Melissa..Glad to hear the news..I had so much fun ordering my food and eating it outsite on the food court.

Need to go back to Honolulu again someday.I imagine that Liberty House is still open.I used to shop at the bargain floor and find terrific sales.

kismetchimera,

Sorry, Liberty House is no more...they've all become Macy's...kind of sad to have the same old department store in the islands as on the mainland.

wow. thanks to all. i really appreciate everyone's comments. i feel much better already. yes, the rat race has a harsh reality to it, but i can't say that i saw the same while in europe...but the grass is always greener on the other side of the pond. i actually felt like shedding a tear when walking into the hotel the last night in paris.

i think i'll read a few books or watch a few movies set in europe, and then start to do some reading on what's in store for me in greece. maybe even try to learn a little greek.

about socal, yes there are accents...actually once i really thought about that it really became funny. tons of accents, you just become immune to them. as for the food, of course nothing compares to the real thing. but we do have good food. i live in the OC. so i'll take any good suggestions w/in a good 90 minute drive...good italian is worth it. haven't really ever looked for a gelato shop, so that will be high on the to do list during the week.

again, thanks for all the input. it's actually a relief to know that the europe "withdrawl" syndrome is fairly common. i think there is a lesson for me to learn here: to appreciate and value my travels, but also to look beneath the surface of my home area.

I think that is exactly what you should do. Enjoy life! You have had some good trips and you will have more. Travel is a driving passion in my life and the high I get from it lasts for weeks. I just had the joy of taking 3 trips to Europe in 5 months - still on Cloud 9!

A book I would recommend for you is by Patricia Schultz and the title is 1,000 Places to See Before You Die. She has nice writeups on each place - even telling the best time of the year to go. She has 11 pages on Greece alone.

I am lining up trips for the next 2 years. Chomping at the bit - ready to go!

I could totally relate to your situation. If you could afford it (the money + the vac time), I agree with some of the earlier postings: take a couple of mini vacations in between your big trips, it makes the wait feel bearable. I usually try to take one major overseas trip (10+ days) per year and then take at least one long weekend (3-5 days) vac to a US destination in between.

A few people here in the past have recommended a sure cure: Begin planning another trip!

kismetchimera-

I also live in Hawaii - and while Patty's is alive and well (I absolutely love their chow fun) - I am sad to report that Liberty House is no longer in existence - bought out by Macy's a few years back - and it's just not the same.

I just returned from my first trip to Europe last month - 3 glorious weeks, hitting the "big 3" in Italy, Paris and London. I have experienced post vacation depression like I've never experienced it before. I'm not lucky enough to be able to go back to Europe next year (somehow a trip to Vancouver just doesn't intrigue me like Europe, but I'm not really complaining) - but am planning a return trip with my (then) 10 yr. old daughter for a week each in Paris, London and Greece in 2006. The best relief for this kind of depression is planning the next trip.

Study another language. That will help you learn more and appreciate the next trip all the more.

Hi there - we all know exactly what you're feeling. My strategy is to "bring it back." I spend the next couple of months shopping for fresh produce at little markets - or organic markets - and fresh bakeries; I haul out the espresso machine; grind my coffee freshly every day; eat a modified croque monsieur for lunch. In fact, my cooking improves greatly after a trip. I've found that helps ease the transition to the bleagh of the U.S. Moping, as suggested, is also good; just don't kick the cat in despair. Find your best photo, get it enlarged, frame and hang it. I also bring back maps as sourvenirs and hang them - I am fascinated by maps of cities as they used to be and enjoy studying them. My favorite therapy? Start planning the next trip!!!

Hi! I think sometimes a wonderful trip like this is like a wedding, you plan for months and then, like time does, it goes too quickly and it's done. However after a wedding you are changed, 20 years later you still look at your partner and grin about the "one thing that always goes wrong at a wedding" of course unique to your wedding, you have pictures and, memories.I think a trip is very similiar, you plan and plan, you go and enjoy and play hard and then you're back on the plane on the way home. Yet, you're changed, there is an experience that is personally yours that you can share with so many people. I think for special things there is always going to be a bit of the let down. I haven't gone on my trip yet, but I've been so enthusiastic about my trip that two of our closest friends have decided that the four of us are going to Rome in two years! (YIPPEE!!!) There are some wonderful ideas in this thread and I think there was even a post about what to take with you on your trip (glue stick, journal, etc. to put things in as you go. I have pictures from my last trip to England in our lunchroom at work (the Roman Baths in London) and sharing a bit of the fun has been great. I also found out where you can buy clotted cream, bought a British cooking cook book and learned how to cook some of the dishes we enjoyed. Talk to your friends about your time, share the fun with someone else, and put somthing on your wall in your bedroom, in the bathroom or kitchen where you will see something that makes you happy as you start your day! Sorry I didn't mean to rattle on!!!

Julie

Er the Roman Baths in Bath!! Caffine hasn't hit yet this morning!

We all get the post-party blues. I keep a little bubble around myself the first 1-2 days home, no radio or tv no phoning friends. I would savor this trip before jumping on to the next one. For me, I returned from Paris about 6 weeks ago, and I know I won't be able to top this trip to Paris, so I will move on to other places to explore and wait to return at a different point, so that the experience will be different. Knowing I will be away from Paris makes me blue. I am experimenting with different local shops to develop my film, one roll at a time. So my photo album and mementos have not yet been put together. I KNOW doing that would make me feel better. Start working on that trip report! If that doesn't do the trick, why not start learning Greek? Get some language tapes from your library, and start poring over travel guides for Greece. On the poster who suggested soup kitchens, she has a point, missing foreign travel should be our worst problem, maybe you can volunteer and share stories, or have that little party. My gym asked to see the photos, I have everyone who asks look at them. That is great for having the impressions come flooding back to you. I bring favorite photos into work as well. Though I agree with Nancy, if I won the lottery, I would just travel. Of course, I'd have to actually start buying lottery tickets. Cheer up. That's why it's a vacation, to get away, transport and immerse yourself. Start dreaming of where you were and of Greece.

We got back from Italy Friday night, unfortunately our luggage is on an extended vacation but is expected today. I completely understand your depression. We were so jetlagged yesterday we watched "Only You" & "Under the Tuscan Sun" all day because that's all we could physically do & it kept us 'there' a little longer. Italy was magical--it succeeded my expectations tremendously--even after 8mos of preparation & research. I'll file a trip report as soon as my travel notes arrive with the luggage. I'm giving myself until Monday to mope, then back to life--but I'm promising myself that I'll not get back to the frantic pace of before. I think the Italians are right when they say Americans live too much for work and not enough to enjoy life.
PattyB

Hi ucsun,

You are suffering from post-partum depression.

It is very common.

Symptoms usually dissipate in about a week.

Hey thanks *ucsun* for starting an interesting thread.

Good points by several about how we view our own home towns. Plenty of people visit Seattle as tourists, but living here I take it for granted. After a trip overseas I feel my powers of observation are refreshed, and I notice all kinds of things around me, see them in a whole new light. So maybe that's advice... act like a tourist in your own city!

Profound coping philosophies aside (kidding), I just bought a ticket for Switzerland in August and that certainly put me in a better mood!

Mahalo lyb and chepar,

It is a pity about Liberty House closing down..

Where do you live in Hawaii? I lived in Hickam AFB in Honolulu, we were there over 4 years. The first year while waiting for base Housing we lived in Kalihi? Valley. My younger daughter was in kindergarten, the school was behind my house, I could always recognize her from a distance, she was the only little blonde.

My son went to the Holy Family..

It was for US a very happy experience and we had the fortune to know many nice locals families.

We lived in a small cul de sac, only 4 families lived there..
From the Philippine and Japanese families we learned and enjoyed different food: Huli huli Pig,Sashimi and other delicacies.
I will always cherish my years spent there...
Ciao,

Suze- that is so true! I was suddenly viewing things around me as if I were still traveling with a camera poised to capture the feel of the place. I did see things with a fresh eye.

Kismet, that is so cute! My company has 2 transfers from California--two blondie blue guys--and they decided to buy a place in Ewa Beach. "Ewa Beach!" everyone exclaims in disbelief, since these guys look like they belong in Waikiki or Diamond Head. But they said the local families in their neighborhood are also great, invite them over for dinner all the time and helped them with moving and everything.