You guys are wonderful - you have given me a great chuckle this evening.
sj

They say the calculator works best when it is in your purse hanging over the back of your chair in a busy restaurant.

Actually - I have one of thos calculators. It tells me that the safest place to go on holiday is Antarctica in the wintertime, so that's where I'll head - no chance of beng pickpocketed there!

I think I might plan all my vacations this way!

Actually, I don't know if you've heard of the Jetlag travel guides (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...s&n=507846). They have great advice from travel experts like Tina, who provides advice for the cautious traveller. Here's a quote:

<i>&quot;Pickpockets and petty thieves tend to congregate in areas frequented by tourists. My tip is to avoid sights of cultural significance or historic interest&quot;</i>

Or my favourite:

<i>&quot;With droves of tourists wandering carelessly around, Bumpattabumpah </i>[the capital city of Phaic Tan]<i> is notorious for petty crime... which is why I always wrap my cash, credit cards and camera in condoms and swallow them before leaving the hotel&quot;</i>

How much does the attachment that tells you the date of an airline fare sale? You could easily sell that right here and make plenty. And the attachment that tells you what to wear so you won't look like a tourist???

I'll take the pretty fuschia one but only if you'll throw in the chip that will let me link to Fodors any time I want...that way I can post if it gets stolen

I am wondering if it would be possible to buy insurance that will cover me in case of picpocketing while traveling...

This insurance Co will have to sell Pickpocketing Chances Calculators to their clients and refuse to cover if chances are greater then XX%.

I am with ira thinking if my hometown will compare to other cities in the world as the safest place - should I travel at all??? LOL

Swallowing all valuables is a good idea but very inconvenient in case if you need some of those at some point...(I am really am laughing here) thanks

guykb, I can see the billboards now.
&quot;Use condoms for safe travel&quot;.

Sadly, I felt safe in Antarctica in the wintertime and foolishly let my guard down while having coffee at a cute little iceberg-side cafe. When I looked around my camera bag had been stolen by one of those sneaky little Chinstrap Penguins.

Darn bird!

But how much does this Pickpocket Calculator cost? It might be cheaper just to get pickpocketed ;)

Will it also help me calculate how much to tip the pilot??

If anybody has one of those calculators already, please tell me the odds of being pickpocketed in Molvania.

You guys are great and too funny!

I see a whole new market for exciting new products:

A calculator to determine the probability of all the ATMS not working in any given city.

A calculator to find the percentage of chance you will run into someone wearing a baseball hat or tennis shoes.

A device to calculate the difference in fare between a Paris shuttle and a taxi at any given hour.

A calculator to estimate the cost of all the other calculators.

How about a calculator to tell you whether it's best to pay with your credit card or cash from the ATM?

How about a calculator that tells you the average density of tourists in a given geographical location at a given time. Perhaps it could produce a map a bit like a radar weather map with areas of very high tourist density (vhtd) coloured red, medium density in yellow and low density (these are the places to go to) in blue. Who cares if you end up in the outer suburbs or in the rough part of town. It'll be tourist free and an experience to remember.

Of course on some days of the year - festivals etc, the device would need to detect Super High Intensity of Tourists. Perhaps that's what the device could be called.

Ziana,
Based on your previous postings, you obviously love German things, Hamburg especially. I am continually surprised that people use this forum to kick certain cities, countries and their inhabitants. Germany invaded France many times, first with the Vandals. Why not concentrate on what you enjoy instead of using this forum to continually criticize a place you obviously do not care for? Negative things that people say about others or other places say more about that person than the negativity.

guykb, I just LOVE your idea. The SH*T ( love the name!!) would be the bee's knees of all travel gadgets.
Everyone would have to have one.

It would be so wonderful for those tourists who don't want to go to touristy places. It boggles the mind to think of some of the blue areas they would be able to see. YOu are right... rough areas, boring suburbs, even strip malls on the edge of towns. They'd love it.
Ah, but then the SH*T would need an attachment to detect a high density of Walmart Shoppers.

And then the rest of us would need a special detector to know when others were using this calculator, right? And you know what that would be called.

Wow orval - where did that come from? Ziana hasn't said anything derogatory in her posts here.

thanks, guykb.

No one mentioned Calculator of Probability Running Into Fodorite while traveling.
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Also Estimator of the Friendliness of natives to (plug your area of habitat).
And if it is High Red - you better have a will before going there. Don't take small children with you!
Or it can use emoticon smilies. Cool!

Oh, I see how we can REALLY use it.
If you entered your country and Calculator went 'grrrrrrrr' - try to plug in other regions and when reaching desirable result - remember it!
While vacationing - do not tell anyone where you are REALLY from - use the country that Calculator provided for you and your vacation will be merrier then it was suppose to be!!!