Art: I am sorry hear that. I shall e-mail you, so you can tell me about your sorrows, ok? But I cannot guarantee for total healing. I am not a witch!

Paris for Dummies Rule #2: If you order some cheese for dessert, do not call the waiter over (see Rule #1) and loudly complain "This cheese is bad...it STINKS!!" <BR> <BR>It's supposed to.

Paris for Dummies Rule #3: don't drink out of the water fountain in your ensuite bathroom.

Paris for Dummies. Rule Nr. 4 <BR>"Don't ask where is the best....!" <BR> <BR>There are tons of bests...

Then please excuse my question about the best croque monsieur in Paris. Not a bad question when you want everyone's valued opinion so that you can narrow down your choices...

Rule #4: Watch where you step.

Paris for Dummies Rule #5: When viewing the Centre Pompidou, do not ask one of the people working there, "When will this building be finished?"

Only Dummies should buy this book. The valuable information is amazing. Best taxi stands, for example. What makes one better than another? Isn't the best taxi stand the one closest to where you are when you need one? The maps are not accurate. If you go to where Bon Accueil or Vagenende are allegedly located on the map in this book, you won't find either one. And, you'll be a long walk from where they're actually located.

For all you experts--and would be experts--please remember that you were all Paris Dummies at one time. If it is like the other "dummies" books, it should provide us with a few laughs--and many people on this board could use them (whether they think so or not).

<BR>Paris for dummies? <BR>You're on it.

to the top for "need help touring the Mediterranian over four days between Germany flights"

Don't ask the musicians on the bateau mouche to play "The Yellow Rose of Texas" :-)

Betsy: You'd be astonished at the music in Europe. In Zurich, the performer in our hotel's piano bar played mostly Elvis standards. In a tiny town in the Alps, the pianist did all broadway show tunes - in English. In a small, family owned and operated for 50 years restaurant on a back street near the Seine in Paris, the CD's playing were Michael Jackson, Madonna, Barry Manilow. And, I'm betting the pianist/vocalist at Closerie de Lilas knew "Yellow Rose of Texas".

Oh Donna, it's not about the musician's knowing (italics) "The Yellow Rose of Texas"!

Don't sit at an outdoor table at Les Deux Magots, and with your southern drawl, say loudly, "Hey, Pierre! You wanna put out that damn smoke while I'm tryin' to eat my crepes suzettes!" <BR>j.