Opinions/experiences regarding traveling alone to Europe
 

Hello I have been posting about my upcoming trip to London and paris and have gotten so much help on this board. I will be going alone, and was looking for others opinions and experiences going to Europe alone. I have gotten so much negative comments from others due to the fact I will be going alone. I hear are me and my wife having marital problems, to aren't I scaredd, to do I have a mistress. My all time favorite is what if something happens to me while I am there and I am all alone! It is very annoying. My wife is fine with it and is encouraging me to go for my birthday she knows it is something I have always wanted to do. We have always gone together places and since we have kids have taken them with us all over the US. They are still in my opinion kind of young for Europe, plus at this point we can't afford for all of us to go.I know I will miss her and the kids, but epsecially after the comments I get from others I feel blessed that she is excited for me and encouraging me to go. She know I was supposed to go two other times once in High School and once when I was graduating college and was not able to go. I am getting her a day at a spa to use when I get back as one way to say Thanks. I was just wondering if others who travel alone get these types of comments, I know I was floored by them.
Thanks

Yes, I had friends who were completely incredulous that I, a middle aged woman, would travel to Paris alone. From the same circle of people – some were quite proud. One thought that if any of us did it, it would have been me! Either way, I've never cared for people's advice much anyway. I prefer my self-bumbling ways, thank you! I had the most wonderful time!!! The freedom! The joy of my own company. Yes, there was 1 moment in a whole week where I was stunned (the lighting of the Eiffel Tower) and for that brief moment only, wish I could have shared it. But that was that… 1 little moment. Otherwise, I have no trouble at all dining alone and do it all the time when I’m here in the States, so that’s not even an issue. My safety…I just keep my wits about me anyway when I’m by myself here in Wilmington, Delaware. We HAVE pickpockets…we HAVE beggars…we HAVE people who steal purses.

But it is a time of self-discovery, self-education, maybe opening up and peeking into corner’s of one’s life…(I won’t bore you with the mystical magical psycho-babble…)

Since that trip, I met a wonderful man. I look forward to our life together. I hope I still can manage to travel alone, once in a while. I enjoyed the experience that much.

Do you really care what others think? They're not going to Europe - you are. Might be a bit of jealousy involved there, you think?

I've traveled alone, with husband and kids, just with kids, with friends, all kinds of combinations, for 25+ years. If your spouse is ok with the concept, what the heck difference does it make what anyone else thinks?

ditto

I know exactly how you feel. Lots of people travel alone, but I think the majority of them are single so they aren't having to deal with the stuff you describe. I am married, with three kids, and my husband doesn't always go with me - some trips he does. But he doesn't have either the interest or the vacation time that I do. It's really hard to explain to people (like my parents) that just becaause I want to take a vacation alone doesn't mean we are about to get divorced or that something is going on. I finially decided I really didn't care what other people think, I try to explain it and if they don't get it - too bad. I LOVE traveling alone. It doesn't mean I don't love my husband or kids or that I don't like traveling with them, I do. But there is defiilty a very good experience to be had in traveling solo.

I know some of my friends think my husband and I are wierd because we try to take a vacation once a year without the kids. And then sometimes my husband has to return and I continue by myself. They don't understand it. Most of these friends have traveled very little or not at all outside the US. It's not a lack of money but lack of interest on their part.
And that is THEIR problem, not mine.

So go and enjoy your time. As long as your wife is Ok with it you shouldn't care about anybody elses opinion.

SuzieC,StCirq,ira,isabel Thanks so much for the feedback! I am really looking forward to going and It is something I have always wanted to do and thought I would not be able to do. Amazingly some of the same people who critized me for going alone are the same people that go away several times a year with out their spouses and kids, but not alone! isabel as far as parents and their comments go, It was mother who asked if I was going with a mistress! Thanks again, you are all correct it does not matter what others think and this trip alone does not mean i don't love me wife and kids. I also think it will prove to myself that I can do it alone and yes the whole self discovery thing is also something I thought about and am looking forward too!
Thanks again!

Thanks to you too cruiseluv. Alot of the people I get the comments from are those who have no interest in travelling outside the US.

You are welcome rd1!

rd1....I have only one word for you....ENJOY!!!

P.S. Happy travels...just think of the great reunion you and the wife will have when you return!

Stu T.

I get comments when I tell people I am traveling solo too. But then I consider the source, these people will not even go to dinner alone in their hometowns or go to a museum alone or well, you get the point.

If you are comfortable with a solo trip do it, it might open up a new life for your "friends" if they see that you survived intact and, hopefully, had fun!

People will be extremely nice to you. Don't assume they are coming "on" to you. Be nice back. Dress conservative unless you are going to a wild nightclub. I see so many American women walking around showing inches of belly fat. You don't see that in Europe--except on the beach--and usually there is no fat. Enjoy. Don't try to tell others how to live their life in Europe.

wally, rd1 is a man (with or without belly fat).

rd1 -
May I say that I think it is very loving of your wife to understand that this is something that has always been important to you and to be so supportive!

I am going to Italy next month without my DH (altho' with my sisters, so not completely alone). I know he has always wanted to go to Italy but because we are self-employed, he simply can't take the time from his new business right now. When the opportunity came up for me to go however, he was extremely supportive and encouraged me to go ahead. I told him I would gain experience and ideas for when we can go together!

So, here's to loving, understanding spouses everywhere! Believe me, they are rewarded for being so!

Go and have a wonderful time. You'll love every minute of the freedom to do what you want, when you want. Maybe keep a travel journal so you can share everything with the family when you get home. And bring that understanding wife something really special from Paris!

I have traveled solo once, with boyfriends (including one with whom I fought so often I should have just gone solo!), with friends, with family, etc. No one has ever commented on my trips, other than the "You sure do travel a lot, don't you?"

The only difficult part of traveling alone, for me, was trying to decide *where* to go each day. It was strange not to consult others about where to go when, when to eat and where, etc. Once I got used to that, it was fantastic. And dining solo doesn't bother me a bit. But that may have to do with what an incurable eavesdropper I am. ;)

Have a wonderful time. You are lucky to have a wife who supports your desire to travel.

I often travel solo and love it. Probably I don't get as much flack from people because: 1) most of my friends are avid travelers themselves, and 2) i'm single.

People like to talk negative about what they don't know for some strange reason. These people giving you are hard time have never traveled alone themselves, I bet.

Thanks to everyone for all the support and encouragement. I know I just need to ignore all the negative comments! It will be nice to eat when I want to, see what I want to see when i want to see it. That will be a treat for me!
Thanks again for posting your comments and experiences

Just make sure you have health, medical evacuation, and body transporting insurances - just in case something happens.

Once that insurance is paid, don't think of it any more, go and enjoy yourself and all Europe has to offer.

My husband doesn't like to get off his coach, so what? I travel, why not? He supports me in that, and so do my children, anybody else doesn't matter.

Yes, I get this kind of comments a lot, the bottom line is: it's all comes from envy. Just offer to teach them how to get a mistress :)

Rd - every trip I have taken to Europe I have done solo. I love not having to compromise with anyone on where to go, where to eat, what time to get up, what time to go to bed, etc.

On a few occasions I have felt moments of great lonliness but soon it passes. For me traveling solo far outweighs traveling with someone.

By being by myself I have met many wonderful people, more so than had I had a traveling companion. Anyway to each their own.

Have a wonderful trip and what an understanding wife you have.

Thanks FainaAgain and Madison for the support!

You might want to read the new and very interesting post by Marzipan about her less than thrilling solo recent trip to London, Paris, etc.

titled "my travel tales/updates..."

I travelled alone to Europe last year for two weeks and had a great time and felt very safe. I think alot of people thought I was taking a real chance going by myself because I'm a woman. Some people just out and out said that I was crazy and why would I want to do something like that alone and how unsafe it is for a woman alone. I don't always have any one to go with me and I don't want that to stop me, so off I went anyway with lots of encouragement from this board. I think if your wife is fine with your travelling alone to London and Paris, go for it. You're very lucky to have a wife like that and you should feel blessed. What other people think is really irrelevant as long as your wife has given you the thumbs up. My daughter also travelled around Europe for two weeks on her own and loved it. If you're not the kind who can be alone, then it might be a little hard, but then there are always tours you can join, which I did, and be around people and make friends that way. Go and do this and have a great time. This can only make your marriage stronger. We so appreciate a spouse who is so understanding and supportive. Good Luck!!

I just finished a two week trip to Europe by myself and had the trip of my life. Look up my trip report. I am already dreaming of my next trip.

DH doesn't love travel, I do. I go alone, he looks at my pictures, wishes me well and enjoys hearing my stories. Works for us. Ignore the critics, do it!

Suze I read marzipan's post, it is a shame she had a less than desirable time. savannah300,cmcfong Thanks for the relpies about your experiences. I am blessed to have a wife like mine, She is being great about this, she know how much i have always wanted to do this. she knows last year was a hard one for me, my grandmother who lived with me from the time I was born till I moved out and got married and was more my mother than my mother passed away. It has been difficult, she used to come on vaction with us and the kids ( my in laws hate to travel and my mother only travels 1st class with my step father and did not like doing "kid" stuff when i was a child so it is even less now). I remember she loved Elvis Presley and as a child I told her I am going to take you to elvis's house one day, 2 years ago me my wife and my 2 sons went with her to tennessee and we took her to Graceland she was so excited. Sorry for the long aside, mama's (what I called my grandmother) death made me realize life is short and you have to do those things you want to do. I have one friend who along with my wife has been supportive she says mama is smiling down on me and how excited I am about this trip, she said mama would rather me go and enjoy myself and think of her then when I am happy and not in saddness. This one friend is actually considering going someplace alone. Everyone else thinks I am crazy! But like everyone says here If my wife is ok with it everyone else's negative comments can go in one ear and out the other!! anyway I am going to get my wife a day at a spa when I come back and will take the kids for an all day outing. I also found a jewllery store in London I am going to get her earings at, and my sons have a list of things they want. My wife is helping me plan stuff to do while in London and Paris and is insiting I see stonehenge for her. It is funny almost every place we have gone in the USA we went for the first time together and after we had kids with them. But the only places we have gone outside of the usa were cancun, cozumel, the ruins of chinchenitza (all in Mexico) and I went there first in college and after we were married we went together and I showed her around. I have a feeling It will be like that with europe. Oh someone had a journal Idea I am definately going to do that and I am going to email daily and let them know what I have done. Lostmymind I read your trip report sounds like you had quite a trip!! I am so glad I am not alone in travelling alone!

I think your wife has the right idea!

The first trip anywhere, no matter how much research you do beforehand is always the hardest.

This way you get to do the advance legwork for a family trip in a few years time and this trip will make it easier to decide where to go, what to see and how to get around.

Have a wonderful time, BTW quote "I am getting her a day at a spa to use when I get back"

Hmm.... a DAY???? How about a long weekend with a girlfriend? :-)

Oh and rd1,

We want a trip report! [-o<

I'm single, so I've almost always travelled alone and never found it a problem. Only you know the people who are teasing you about this, but just tell yourself they're jealous. If it's more than affectionate teasing, those are people who don't get a postcard or a share of whatever goodies you manage to bring home.

I agree, it would be nice if you eventually extended the same privilege to your wife that she's so graciously extended to you. The day at the spa and the day with the kids is a great start. That said, she might not be interested for a few years, if your children are young.

rd1 - I am also planning my first solo (international) trip and like you the question that pops up the most (or just irritates me the most) is what if something happens to you!

I geared up this summer with two big city domestic solo's and can't wait for Paris!

Why you choose to travel by yourself is nobody else's business and don't feel you have to justify your desire to your Mother or anyone else. As you have seen, people jump to all sorts of "conclusions" when anything that might make them "uncomfortable" (or, more likely, they wouldn't dare do on their own) is suggested and it is probably their way of justifying their own negative feelings. And, unfortunately, that sometimes happens right here on this board.

As most here have said, "Ignore them" and, furthermore, take any and all trip reports for what they are: not necessarily indicative of what you will encounter but usually offered in good faith.

I'm sure you'll enjoy your trip.

Hi
Thanks again for the replies! I told my wife if she want she could go away longer with a friend or her sister, but she says she is not sure she is ready to do that, but I did offer,and told her whenever she wants to let me know and I would stay with the kids, I am encouraging her to do that as I think she would have fun if she went away with a girlfriend or her sister. the spa day is something she has wanted for a long time, that and a coach purse, so I will probably get her both. I am just choosing to ignore the people that say negative things! It is true too People who are negative will get no gifts! I do take the trip reports for what they are peopl'e own experiences, I am sure I will have a great time and be very busy!
Thanks again

Boy, aren't people just plain stupid sometimes. My husband and I have totally different interests. Sometimes we take vacations together, sometimes separately. Just depends what each of us wants to see and do and how much overlap there is. Go and have a great time. Then let her have her great time at the spa when you come back. I agree that it can occasionally get a little lonesome when you're used to a spouse and kids to share things with, but the experience will trump any fleeting loneliness.

RD, I can see you are a relatively new poster here, if I can make a suggestion.

When you post, please break the text into paragraphs for easier reading.

Our eyes get tired and not easy to "hold a line" when the text is long.

budzilla thanks! I am sure I will feel a bit loney at times, but i know the experience will be great!

FainaAgain i see what you mean, sorry! I will definately do that in the future. Thanks for the suggestion!

rd1, it's very easy to phone your family anytime that's convenient when you are in Europe. Just buy a phone card from a corner store type place, and ask the clerk the best one to get to make calls to the USA. He or she will help you out with a good choice. Then go to a payphone and give them a call, considering the time zones of course!

Your wife and kids can get phone cards or a long-distance calling plan and call you in your hotel room also.

Thanks WillTravel, I heard from several people that London Hotels charge a large service fee to use the phones in the room so I definately will be using the payphones. There is not a charge to recieve calls in the room is there?

Also I found out I can use my cell phone internationally, the rate is .99 a minute but it will work out great for quick calls like I got here, I just saw the tower of London and ok I am in the room call me now!

I just have to make sure I do not run out of batteries. The adapter and converter would run me like $50.00

rd1, it's interesting you should mention about London hotels. I've stayed at several Holiday Inns in London. They do not charge for receiving calls - BUT so far they all do have a front-desk number that has a 0870 prefix. These 0870 numbers, which are common to many UK companies of all sorts, unfortunately, are somewhat more expensive to phone from the US or Canada than a "regular" UK number. For example, my family was using a phone card that cost about 3-5 cents per minute to phone a regular number in the UK, but more like 40 cents/minute to phone this 0870 number.

I got around this problem by asking the hotels for a number my family could call that was not a 0870 number. So take a look at what the front-desk number for your hotel is, and if you do see the 0870, use the above strategy.

Other than the fact you have to stand around, it's not bad to use payphones, and at least you know you won't lose any more than the value of the card. You're right about the exorbitant charges for any sort of call from the room.

Whatever you do, don't fall for the scam you sometimes see plastered at payphones where you use a service that requests your credit card number. Many people have reported prices for these that are simply outrageous, like $20-40/minute.

If you don't have a phone card, it's a simple matter to put a coin into the phone and just dial direct like this:
001 (your 3-digit area code) (your 7-digit number)

I'm not sure of the exact rate, but you can have at least a brief conversation for one pound.