Most irritating person near you on a flight.
 

There was this one woman who actually starting painting her fingernails. I almost choked to death in that small air space.

Did you ask her to stop?

The flight attendant and I both did. She acted all huffy. I ask her what in the world was wrong with her. She just gave me the cold shoulder. EXCELLENT.

Some people are civilized. The rest you have to learn how to ignore or tolerate unless you're willing to confront. Who wants to confront a selfish idiot when you're traveling for pleasure? I wish they'd all just stay home.

I was flying from Los Angeles to Miami. When I got to my seat, I saw that the man sitting next to me weighed about 500 pounds (no kidding). He had put the armrest up and was flabbing (new verb) over into my space.

I asked the flight attendant if I could have another seat, and she apologetically (really) said the flight was completely full. They even went up to first class to see if anything was available.

Somehow my seat neighbor was able to put the armrest down for takeoff, but as soon as we were in the air, up it went and his body encroached into my seating area (think "The Blob" with Steve Mcqueen). I wanted to say something, but what could I have said, "Hey buddy, could you please get skinnier for the next 5 1/2 hours?"

As soon as I could get up, I went over to the area where the flight attendants were and they said I could hang with them for as long as I wanted (obviously this was prior to 9-11).

So I spent much of my flight dividing my time between uncomfortable sitting next to "the big guy" and standing and chatting with the flight attendants. They felt badly for me, so they gave me free cocktails (no mai tais, however).

This situation is why I believe a person who is grossly overweight should definitely have to pay for two seats.
((H))

A woman on a domestic flight last year who took out one of those battery-powered nosehair clippers and proceeded to shave her nostrils. I was absolutely dumbstruck...........

Theres always the obnoxious person who thinks the whole plane wants to hear his phone conversation. Or the guy who just wont shut the f#$k up. Then,there is always the farter.

at least she wasn't clipping her toenails! eewwwww!

Hi Janda!

I travel quite a bit for my job and the person I HATE to sit next to "THE TALKER." You know, the one who doesn't shut up the whole way! I usually try to pre-empt any in-flight talking by having my handy-dandy Walkman out and ready to go. Nine times out of ten this works.

One time, however, this woman got on board (I was already there with my headphones on and book open) who actually tapped me on the shoulder and, when I took my headphones off expecting her to tell me something A) Important and B) Brief said, "HI, my name's Kayla! What's yours?" I was like, "Nice to meet you Kayla. I'm Jennie. (all polite like my mom taught me.)" and started to put the headphones back on BUT she was like, "So . . . are you coming or going!" Just as chipper as could be!

Well, before you know it, despite all my best efforts, I am deep in conversation with Kayla who was on her way to Chicago to live with her sister because her (Kayla, not the sister) husband had left her for their dog groomer and she (Kayla, not the sister) just felt so betrayed she couldn't even be around the DOG anymore (?!) and how lucky I was to not be married because men are awful creatures and, if I did get married, I should NOT get a dog that needs professional grooming because apparently dog groomers are KNOWN for this kind of behavior (?!), etc., etc., etc. . . . for 2 hours. I mean, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! I mean, by the end of the flight I hated men too! Ha-Ha!

Now, don't get me wrong. I felt for Kayla, I did. I mean, to not only lose your man but your DOG to the same floozy must really suck. But still . . .

Jennie :)

I think the prize winner for obnoxious and disgusting nearby passenger on a trans Atlantic flight was a physician from India who was sitting next to my wife in the 3=3=3 seating arrangement on a B777 headed for Paris.

He actually started telling her about his sex life with multiple wives and urging her to drink wine.

Finally I said in a normal tone:
Is that ((*&^*(( bothering you? If so we trade seats.

He heard me and shut up.

The most charming airline seat mate on a 3-3-3 confiuration was a physican from Spain who spoke no English. He did however speak very good German having gone to medical school in Germany. He was very patient with my broken German, and we had a nice conversation.
He of course did most of the talking.
I did a lot of head nodding.

But the overall, total winner for all time has to be the elderly Swiss man who sat beside me on the train from Bern to Spiez when we were enroute to Interlaken Ost. He spoke no English but like the Spanish physician he was willing to pick up the pieces of my broken German.
He spoke to us of his past when he was a mountain guide. He talked emotionally of climbing axes, crampons, rope, and pitons, avalanches, blizzards, and the death once of a climbing companion.

Before he left us, he reached in his carrying case and emptied out some polished minerals he had worked on.
He showed them to us and then gave me and my wife one each.

My wife and I have often speculated over why he gave us the minerals. We decided that perhaps he was making this trip to say farewell because he was going to visit old friends who lived across the Thuner See. Or, perhaps it was because I made a tremendous effort to communicate with him even though my spoken German is poor. Perhaps he understood that I too had climbed peaks in Colorado, or, possibly, he appreciated a strange from another nation taking the time to talk to him. I don't know.

This much I do know, however: No souvenier I purchase will ever rival those polished minerals. There are keepsakes that money cannot buy.

Oh, the farter ;;)
A baby in front of me during a flight from DFW to JFK, PU. She kept turning around calling me daddy!! =-O

Oh, Bob Brown, how lovely ~

Actually the worst thing that has happened to me has been to sit in a fog of garlic from someone sitting behind me. That and the people over the years who feel they must talk loudly and kick the seat on night flights.

I was once sitting next to a young man that was either emotionally or physically disabled. Perhaps both. He rocked back and forth nearly the whole flight, making noises, kind of talking to himself. It was a full flight. I was relieved when it was over.

Wed., on a return flight from NYC, a woman and a young boy, perhaps 7 years old, sat behind us. When they first walked by, I could tell that something wasn't quite "right" with him. During the flight he was mostly quiet, but would occaisionally erupt with noises that were unintelligible. At first I was perturbed, then I started to think...there but for the grace of God...and tried to imagine myself with a child with such a disability. I went from mildly aggrivated to feeling a bit of pity, and thinking that this woman was obviously an angel.

This isn't really too bad, but I was already irritated because our flight was delayed and I was on my way back from vacation, not on my way...I was sitting in the middle and the man who had the window seat was already seated when I got on (he didn't board with the correct "group"). He had his briefcase underneath the seat in front of him but it actually took up most of the space underneath the seat in front of me too. He took off his shoes and put them under my seat - no socks! Not only that, he already had two pillows which he placed on both armrests. So, I had no room for my bag and couldn't put my arm on the armrests. And, every time he needed something out of his briefcase, he would jab me in the foot as he was taking it out.

The first time I ever flew to Europe, I was 16 and with my parents. It was a charter flight for regular and adjunct faculty of a major university (my father had been supervising social work grad student interns, so was "faculty" and eligible for this extra cheap flight), so this nut sitting in front of my father was apparently a well schooled nut. Throughout the flight she spouted off about the perils of sitting near the escape door, announcing to anyone within earshot that we were in danger of being sucked out if the hinges were loose or the lock was insecure. She apparently had some weird fetish about not having unsightly scraps on her dinner plate. At meal time, when she finished eating her apple, she poked her bony arm back through the space between seats and placed her apple core on my father's plate!

Once, on a evening flight by myself many, many years ago, the man sitting next to me had a few too many cocktails and decided that I was his "pumpkin." (I kid you not.) I was more shocked than anything else, because I was wearing a wedding band! I was young enough and newly married enough to think that my band made me invincible to airline Lotharios. Now of course I am an old battleaxe, and pumpkins seekers are quickly turned into pie.

maitaitom, you have the funniest sense of humor!

Austin, it was probably Tourette's Syndrome

maitaitom, The worst thing that happened to me on my first and only flight was when you embarrased me in front of everyone around me by refusing to sit next to me. I tried so hard to keep myself out of your personal space but could not.

When you and the flight attendant were laughing about me it was unbearable. I overheard the passengers behind me making jokes about it. I couldn't afford a first class seat with more room. Before I boarded I was dreading the thought of someone sitting next to me, humiliating me like they do at work and in public.

It doesn't hurt me that you call me a Blob because I have heard it so many times. But I wish you would have resonded to me when I said Hello. I'm not a bad person.

On a flight to Paris: After meal service, I take a nap. I have been sleeping with my legs stretched out in front of me, and I wake up and tuck them under my seat. Only I hit something when I do that, and look down to see that the man in the next seat has stretched himself along the floor along all 4 seats in the middle section! He angrily says something to me (that I didn't understand)and then proceeds to rearrange his jacket/pillow and goes back to sleep. I had no place to put my feet except back in the original position. A flight attendant asked him to move and he sort of curled up a little, but was still mostly under my legs!

I've got several options to choose from:

1) On a recent flight from Baku to London, I got bumped to first class because the flight was overbooked. Yippee! Wrong. I got seated next to a man who had THREE cocktails before lunch was served, FIVE glasses of wine with lunch, and then THREE more cocktails after the meal service. Needless to say, he wreaked of alcohol after the first two drinks! But then he got so tipsy that he knocked over a glass of whisky (his), and then the armrests and part of seat got soaked. All I could smell was whisky for the rest of the 6.5 hour flight!

2) On another recent flight from Boston to London, I was trying not to congratulate myself on having the first row in economy to myself when a family of four (parents, 1 year old and 4 year old) weer moved into the seats next to me. I had an aisle seat and hoped for the best. Well, I won't fault the kids because they are just kids, but the parents were just horrible. The one year old was placed in one of those bassinet things and cried most of the way there--I don't blame her! Her parents let her pee in the bassinet, didn't put any diapers on her, and then just looked the other way when she started to decorate her seat with baby food--ala Jackson Pollock. It was truly disgusting and I tried very hard not to notice. But then the 4 year old, who was seated next to me, started to fall asleep (he was actually very well behaved compared to the parents) abd kept falling on me. I would move him gently back into his seat. The father saw me do this several times and not once acknowledged any of it. Not once did he move his son for me. Neither parents said a word to anyone throughout the flight. I was so glad when the plane landed.

I think that Jor made an important point about people and travel and I think his last sentance says it all. Have a heart people! nobody is perfect.

Dear Mr Maitaitom,

On behalf of my client, I wish you to know that because of the intense embarrasment that you caused this poor man he has reverted to the state he was in before years of professional counseling enabled him to travel on an airplane.

Up until now we have had no legal recourse, but because you have slandered him, we shall be pleased to file the appropriate papers.

H L Dewey
Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, LLC

Kir: yikes! I would have kicked him until he got back into his seat.

"Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, LLC"

Umm. Wiseguy, eh? Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!

I wonder if that Cheatham is realted to the Cheatham in the law firm of Robb, Cheatham, and Steele...

For me, sitting next to a "nervous flyer" can be a challenge (I exclude certain members of my own family from this comment!).

Ever had to constantly reassure your seatmate during a flight?:

"What's that noise?" they ask. It is wickedly tempting to reply: "Just the wheels falling off, but that's no problem until we land."

Encountering a bit of turbulence is even more fun.

OK, I understand that flying requires a loss of control...opps! sorry, poor phrasing. What I mean is that, unlike driving, where you are behind the wheel, while flying you must trust others with your safety. But, if you are really that afraid to fly...don't.

Random postscript: Has John Madden ever been to Europe?

I'm with maitaitom on this one. Unless you have been in a situation where you're actually being partially sat on because the person next to you is so large, you don't know how really uncomfortable it can be.

I had this happen to me once (complete with the armrest between us having to be moved) and it was quite uncomfortable. I couldn't even turn the pages of my book, not could I put down my tray to hold my soda! I didn't want to move at first because I didn't want to make the person "feel bad." However, after sitting for an hour or so in the same position (I also couldn't move around much.) it dawned on me that the person next to me obviously had no concern for ME (for one thing she--in my case it was a woman--did not ASK if I minded if she lifted the arm rest. After we were cruising, she just said, "Excuse me," kind of gave my arm a little nudge and lifted it on up!) so why was I killing myself with concern for her?

At that point, I very nicely excused myself, took my purse and book and simply moved back to an unoccupied seat in the back of the plane. I wasn't rude at all. I just got up as if to use the ladies room and didn't come back. Now, if she felt bad, I'm sorry, there's nothing I could do about that. I refuse to put myself in an uncomfortable position for three hours because some people consider it not "PC" or whatever to get up and move.

Nowhere in Tom's post did I see him mention that he'd laughed to this person's face or otherwise been rude to him or intentionally tried to make the guy feel bad. He simply did not sit in his seat because it was uncomfortable for him to do so. I don't see anything wrong with that! It probably ended up being more comfortable for the other person without Tom there anyway!

I flew from JFK to Dallas on Thanksgiving morning and the family infront of me with thier 1 year old decided to change the baby's diaper mid-flight right in front of me on the seat. I gagged most of the way to DFW.

To top it off, they had the audacity to give the flight attendant the dirty diaper which she declined saying she was prevent from touching the item b/c served food but would give them a bag to place it in and she would throw it out.

" But I wish you would have resonded to me when I said Hello. I'm not a bad person. "

Gosh, I think I did say hello. Hmm, I don't remember laughing at you, but those flight attendants did keep pouring those cocktails for me. I'm trying to remember when I humiliated you, but, come to think of it, I don't think I did.

What I do remember is you taking up about 1/4 of my seat. I guess I could have said, "Would you mind putting some of that flab on your side of the seat?"

However, since I'm a pretty nice guy, I decided to say nothing about you being weight challenged (2003 term for grossly overweight). Anyway, I hope you had a comfortable flight while I stood for much of it.
((H))

On an American West flight to Las Vegas, an old man sat infront of me with his seat leaned all the way back. He practically had the back of his head right in my face about 5 inches apart. He looked like he had hair plugs for his entire head. It also looked like he didn't wash his hair for a week. Needless to say, I had to skip my meal for the flight.

1. The guy behind me who can't stop kicking my seatback. Also kids who do that. My usual solution is a deadly, quick recline into the offending person's kneecaps. Works particularly well on aircraft with tight coach seating (31'' or less) :D

2. People who speak loudly throughout the flight.

3. Crying babies - I know they can't do anything about it, but I just can't stand it :D

4. Little kids who kick my seat, run around the plane, and generally just make lots of noise. Actually, it is the fact that the parents make absolutely no effort to calm the kid down that really gets me mad. Argh!!

5. I also hate it, when flying coach, when the passenger in front of me feels the need to fully recline his seat a couple of minutes after takeoff. He is usually forgiven if he/she puts his seatback up for the meal service, but that rarely happens...

6. On longhaul flights especially, I dislike it when passengers next to me remain barefoot, not even bothering to put on the socks the airline provides...

Federico
Venice

I suppose, but want to forget, it was that guy, that GD guy in 46C whose head kept me company in 47C for almost 18 hours - J'Burg to Capetown to Illa da Sol to Atlanta last fall. And then he cheerfully acknowledged SAA keeps its seats and ailes inhumanly close. But please don't say my itinerary was not the best. I know, I know.

The only irritating thing that has happened to me during a flight, was not because of the passenger next to me, actually so far i have been pretty lucky , but my irritation was caused by the flight attendant, on my way to Taiwan.
This woman spilled a huge glass of ice tea in my lap.. My mom will be proud of me if she was there There I was , with my little summer dress completly wet, and

The diaper incident happened on a flight my husband was on, too. He said the mother kept insisting the flight attendant take the dirty diaper, even after she'd said "No." DH said she kept shoving it in the poor attendants face saying, "TAKE IT...HERE...TAKE IT!" UGH.

and the attendant did not seems to worry about it..I must thanks my mother that she gave me a nice education, and I never learned to cuss..otherwise..watch out.
We stopped in Alaska for refuel and I was very cold and did not have anything to change..Even today I remenber this woman, because she was so indifferent about it.

venexiano ,
I emailed you to your personal email. Did you receive it?

I see that there are many, many ways to have an awful flight, but I'll add mine,too. One month ago on the overseas flight from Helsinki to JFK (officially 8 1/2 hrs., but it felt like forever!) a couple with a toddler sat directly behind us. That kid SCREECHED for about 8 hrs. The parents did not show any concern and took the kid only for an occasional "outing" in the aisle - giving us a little respite . Let me just say it was nearly unbearable and I'll take a talker and fingernail painter any time (I realize that's not how their seatmates felt), but enduring a hours-long temper tantrum is pure hell ! I am a grandma and know something of children and the problems, but I did place the responsibility on these parents who need to take a few LONG lessons in common sense.

Interesting to read how different things irritate different people.

Fingernail painting wouldn't bother me, but nail clipping drives me up the wall.

People who fully recline their seats in coach are RUDE. Talking doesn't bother me a bit. But, crying babies and unruly children should be banned from flying or at least made to take pre-flight tranqualizers.

As far as overweight passengers, well that's a delicate subject. I once had to fly on a business trip with a former boss who was a very large woman. She made someone trade seats with me so that I could sit next to her on the plane. Silly me, I thought that she wanted me next to her so that she could tell me what a good job I was doing, how she couldn't wait to promote me, her plans for giving me an office with a window. But no, she just wanted me next to her so that she could raise the armrest, my only protection from the fat onslought. She took up a fair amount of my seat with her flab. She knew that I was in no position to defend my turf and she took advantage of the power that she had over me.

This is the same fat hag that I got into 1st class for free on another trip. My consolation is that I now have a much better job, a nicer office, and I'm thinner, younger, and make more $ than she does. Alas, I still don't have the ability to take up as much seat room as her. LOL.

Austin ~ YOU are the angel for choosing to overide your irritation with compassion. My otherwise normal teenage son once developed a distracting tic (headjerking) that started out mild and progressively got worse. At first he could compensate for it until it worsened.

It looked like the kind of thing he could easily help or stop, but in reality he could not. It appears as annoying habit and you are tempted to shout "Stop!" (and we are family!) when you would feel the couch twitch while sitting on the other end from him or in the car when you looked back to talk to him and he was going at it. Then about once a week someone at school would ask him about it. He became so self-conscious about what the other kids sitting behind him in class were noticing and thinking about him when he did it that he couldn't focus. I even found out (a year later) that a teacher had mocked him to another class resulting in one of that class's students mocking him in the hall. That turned into a locker room fight the next year. I noticed him glancing around the living room to see if any of his friends were noticing him while watching a movie. He developed a habit of sweeping his bangs over (a common gesture) frequently just in an effort to look like he was doing something he "meant" to do in hope that the observer might not notice his problem.

(It was really taking a toll on the self-esteem of my otherwise healthy, athletic, good looking, popular son with an outstanding sense of humor. This went on for a year and a half before I finally found a doctor that helped him.

We were told that what he had and has always had was Tourette's Syndrome which is just a technical term for a combination of ADHD, OCD, and tics. We knew about and had successfully managed the ADHD and the OCD was never big enough to bother his quality of life, and the tics were emerging for the first time. (In hindsight, it was preceded by a mild,quiet,verbal tic.) Tics have a life of thier own and seem to really dissipate in the early 20's for most. Meanwhile, he gave him a medication that should shave the peaks off of the peak's and vally's of them. Within about a month or two they gradually went away. He stayed on the medicine for several more months before stopping. We thought it may resume, but so far has not. It has been 5 months.

So, thank you Austin for being so understanding because no one is suffering more than the person themselves.

I wasn't going to get into this but . . .

People who have afflictions such as Tourette's or cerebral palsy and the like of course deserve our compassion and empathy. However, most people who are truly obese are that way because of their lifestyle and diet. If you choose to be really fat then you should have to pay for an extra seat and not crowd out the rest of us who take time to exercise regularly and eat a sensible diet.

I know this sounds cold but I really feel for the person who has saved all year (or more) for a vacation and then has to be made uncomfortable by someone else's bad habits.