To get into the Christmas spirit, you need to:-

Drive to Tesco's. Find there are no parking spaces and leave.

Drive to Sainsbury's. Find there are no parking spaces and leave.

Drive to Waitrose (whinging en-route about how everything will be twice the price there).

Sit in stationary traffic for 1hr 15 mins.

Find parking space.

Get inside the store (fanfare of trumpets!) to find they have nothing left that you actually wanted (sausage meat, mince pies). But plenty of useless stuff no-one wants (a stilton the size of a tractor tyre and about thirty thousand poinsettas).

Leave.

Get home (after another 1 hr 15 mins).

Get phone call from brother who has twisted his ankle playing football, and now can't drive, asking you if you can do his share of the shopping, or, alternatively, make a 60 mile roundtrip to take him to Tesco's on the A14.

Hang up, and look for something festive on tv to cheer you up.

Find out it's a choice between Gladiators and Judge Judy.

Ding dong merrily on high.

Ah but there's Doctor Who to look forward to. That'll make up for it all.

I hope this years will be better than that pants one with Kylie and the Titanic.

Well it's got David Morrisey and Cybermen in it - so already it's ahead on points.

RM67:

You're beginnning to sound like a literate and witty version of that pillock who churns out unpunctuated, upper case-free, stream of consciousness moans about how dreadful England is.

For heaven's sake man, where's your stiff upper lip? If shopping's so awful, that's why the good lord invented Ocado.

I tried that but there were no slots left. People must book them months in advance (who the hell is that organised?)

Also, I was put off by a story from a work colleague who said that the Tescos delivery service just bring you any old crap if what you want is out of stock. He allegegedly ordered salmon fillets and got crabsticks.

I've just ordered a curry - that and 'Come Fly With Me' will cheer me up......

Do people really go around asking others where is stiff upper lip? Or just when trying to sound authentically English for the outlanders?

>>Ah but there's Doctor Who to look forward to. That'll make up for it all.<<

How would you like to find one of these on your doorstep?

http://tinyurl.com/7oentv

Lee Ann

I used to work in East Ham - where the Who Shop is. It's full of the most marvellous things. They had a Dalek for a while.

Many happy hours was spent rummaging through the junk in that shop.

lvillinois -
I hope your Xmas dinner will be as fab as our 1st (earlier than usual) Xmas dindin last night. Earlier, because we were having our last evening meal with friends who came over from Manchester to spend 6 weeks in South Africa.

Picture this:
It's 38C outside. Humidity hitting the roof. All airconditioning units pumping the coldest air possible into the house.

The roast - Beef, but one I have never cooked before, was an enormous rolled brisket. The recipe book said 6-8hrs in a slow oven.
I did it in 4hrs wrapped in 2 layers of tin foil. Opened at the last minute to get a nice brown glaze.
Sweat pouring off my brow, upper lip etc., I got the roast potatoes crisp on the outside but fluffy inside.
No sprouts I'm afraid - but when I do have the inclination I boil them for 3 minutes with a titch of bi-carb, rinse them in cold water, throw them back into a pan sizzling with loads of butter & garlic, and keep warm until needed.
We just went for baby carrots and petit-pois for the veg this time.

Yorkshire Pud Lesson:
The aim of this dinner was to allow my Pom friend ( she's lovely!) to show me the ins and outs of making Yorky Pud.
Nearly the same as SandyBrit's recipe except we used 8 ozs flour which we worked out to be 1 & a quarter cups, the 2 eggs, salt, and half a pint of milk, or until the batter is thickish but runs easily and quickly off the spoon.

Earlier that day I saw James Martin making Yorkshire pud in Dubai ( quite an old programme I guess) but he gave us his fool-proof (Gran's?) recipe:
8 eggs
8ozs flour
salt
1 pint milk

Guess I'll try that next year!

We washed it all down with pre-dinner drinks - Glenfiddich on ice, Kilkenny & lemonade ( very nice), dry sherry for some etc. etc.,
followed by a beautifully rounded Merlot with dinner and of course - Horseradish sauce ( from Germany) and hot English mustard from Coleman's - of course! and divine thick brown gravy.

Fit to burst we still had a small space for Apple crumble & custard!

Best of luck with your "English" Xmas dinner! I'm sure your guest will appreciate all your efforts.

lvillinois, your query brings back happy memories of an old neighbor, no longer with us, a WWII war bride from Britain, who always served a lovely roast beef dinner with yorkshire pudding and (surprising to me!) brussel sprouts - with mustard as a condiment. Delicious!

Thanks for the memory and Merry Christmas!

tod, I think I'll try your sprouts method. Is the bicarb for color?

To be honest the sprouts are only there at christmas because people expect them to be. No one actually likes them.

English joke: Whats's the difference between bogies and brussel sprouts?

Children won't eat brussel sprouts.

They are really cooked to be used the day after in the glory that is bubble and squeak.

I like sprouts. Just not boiled to b*ggery.

They're never quite as bad as you remeber them, it's true. But they are pretty grim.

But bubble wouldn't be bubble without 'em.

Even if you don't like sprouts, this recipe works:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/lif...cle5298352.ece

I LOVE Brussels and as CW says best the next day with mashed up roasters as bubble and squeak.

Wouldnt miss my christms pud either (got to be fortnums of course) and finally pigs in blankets!

I'll use homemade mincemeat this year for the pudding (not entitled to call it pud, being an outsider.)

Brussels sprouts are quite tasty if you saute and add enough things; a small handful of garlic would even enhance the bubble&s.

>>I used to work in East Ham - where the Who Shop is. It's full of the most marvellous things. They had a Dalek for a while.

Many happy hours was spent rummaging through the junk in that shop.<<

It's too bad they don't ship to the US; I would love to take a weeping angel to my daughter's apartment and leave it outside her door.

Lee Ann