Stu:

Will I be sent to the gauche-diners reform school if I ask to have a diminished portion of a second course served as a first course for a reduced price (see Ira's post above)??

If it's ok to share an order at a fast food place or a casual restaurant (which are 99% of the eateries one encounters while traveling), or at ANY establishment if it's dessert or antipasti, then sharing meals clearly isn't frowned upon. Besides, the customer is always right. Smart proprieters should know that money isn't always the reason behind sharing entrees. My mother and I like to share an entree, a dessert, and a bottle of wine (where the real profit is made in the restaurant business). And I always tip well when the waiter is very accomodating and serves the split portions individually.

"food splitters reform school" hilarious!!!

I cannot tell a lie,I cheat with spell check....

If share a main, I do so discreetly .I put a hunk of meat on my appetizer plate.Of course you cannot do this in a formal place. In Paris at Le Reminet the waiters clearly treated us like bums because we ordered no wine and had two full pre-fixe(spelled right?)"menus".It was good but I won't eat there again.

The summons to report to the FSRSchool usually comes in the mail AFTER you return home. Like a parking ticket from Florence.

hypatia wrote: "If share a main, I do so discreetly"

On first glance, I misread "main" as "man". It seemed like good policy.

My friend and I are budget travelers and neither of us eat huge portions. We always split.

But, because we do, that gives us money to order beer and/or wine (the real money makers for restaurants) and dessert.

If we each ordered a dinner, we would not order drinks or dessert . . . the restaurants come out a whole lot better financially with our sharing.

We've only eaten at one place (in Barcelona) where the waiter would not let us and thus lost our business. Of course, being budget travelers, we don't eat in 5-star places.

Sandy (in Denton)
So . . . they can have (sometimes more than

Marta...as I said, don't give it a third thought!

>>>gauche-diners reform school <<<

>>>The summons to report to the FSRSchool usually comes in the mail AFTER you return home. Like a parking ticket from Florence<<<

Thanks for the two chuckles, EK!
Stu T.

Stu:

During my upcoming trip to Italy, I will remember not to ask for a price reduction on my secondo. I have just learned that certain egregiously gauche diners are mandated for immediate transfer to the GDRS...no chance even to return home to pack a bag.... Not only that, they are not permitted to enter the school with their horde of olive oils, assorted cheeses, and vacuum packed proscuitto!!!

Everyone justifying buying only half a meal each by saying 'but we spend on drinks etc' is forgetting that people who can afford a whole meal also spend money on drinks - and probably more than you do.

If I couldn't afford my own meal I'd just go someone cheaper.

This is such an interesting thread. I had no idea that sharing is frowned upon by some people. We share our food all the time, especially when we travel, and have never had a problem. Even waiters at fine dining restaurants are generally accommodating. Eating local food is a big part of our budget when we travel, and sharing allows us to sample more on the menu.

The only thing I don't share is dessert. If my husband wants a bite of my creme brulee or hot chocolate lava cake, he has to order his own.

LOL, I misread "main" as "man" also.

When in Italy heaven help the person that wants any of my food..I don't share. Like Ira I have no problem eating course after course of wonderful Italian food.

Some years ago, my wife and I went into a Denny's restaurant which served a very substantial salad bar free with your lunch. An elderly couple came in and sat across from us; they ordered two pork chops. They ate heartily from the salad bar and then asked for two doggie bags with the pork chops. These went into the doggie bags uneaten and they left. You have to admire their courage. I must confess that my wife and I cannot handle the obscenely large portions that are served in many eateries in the USA, so we order one portion and two plates.

That kind of thing happens all the time in the US, I am sorry to say...

Some people have no shame. But now that you all know the penalties for gauche table behavior in Europe (see references above to various reform schools) perhaps you will exercise more care when making your dining selections!

We just returned from Italy and, in my view, the answer really depends on what sort of restaurant you're in. We like to have many courses and try different things. In my experience, sharing items is totally acceptable at the more informal places. And even at more formal places, you could probably share the antipasto or primo.

At many meals on our most recent trip, we would get antipasti, primi (pastas) and then share a secondo/contorno. When we ate with our friends (so there were 4 of us), we also sometimes would order 2 pastas and share them. No one ever batted an eye, and we observed MANY Italian tables ordering several dishes (but not necessarily one dish for each person) to be shared family-style by the entire table.

Also, on a few occasions when our children couldn't finish their pasta, we asked to take it home. Each time, the restaurants accommodated that request graciously (and were equipped with to-go containers showing that it's not a totally freak request). Our kids would then have the pasta for breakfast (sometimes w/ a fried egg on top - yum).

Yes, sharing is fine if you order a few dishes. I was thinking the OP wanted to share single dishes.

Well. This has certainly given me substantial "food for thought". Food, especially Italian food, is one of the travel experiences we particularly enjoy. My conclusion is that we will go and order what we want (which invariably includes a bottle of wine and at least one dessert, so the tab isn't generally shockingly modest) without being concerned that we are being culturally ignorant or rude. Thanks to all of you!

I tend to share with my 6 yr old. I do not like to waste food or money by ordering her something for her to eat a little bit and I order something that tends to be too large for myself. So I decide on something we both like and go from there. I do not see where a problem is with that and I have never had a problem with any restaurant in the US with that.

My parents usually share a meal, and they haven't had any problems with it so far. Of course, we don't go to any upscale places, but still there hasn't been any issues.

It's usually mom eats part of the salad, dad finishes up the rest, they split the baked potato and dad eats most of the meat. My mom just doesn't eat all that much sometimes, why should she get her own meal if she won't eat it? If she does, she'll just eat a little then take the rest home for dad's work lunch.

I've shared with her many times before, often with combination meals, and it's worked pretty well. No one's complained. Some places do split it up on two plates but don't charge us extra for it. And we've shared an appetizer and a main before.

None of us drink ever, no problems whatsoever. I would think the restaurant would be happy that the people are spending money there in the first place, no matter how they eat it.

caladrius wrote: I would think the restaurant would be happy that the people are spending money there in the first place, no matter how they eat it.

Amen to that.
Two cheap appetizers equal one regular entree? Three courses plus only softdrinks is not as good as a two-course meal plus wine? Can skipping dessert be compensated by a more upscale wine? Or a regular wine plus grappa? What happens when you order regular main courses, but one is quite cheap, and one is the most expensive seafood?

I cannot believe how much fuss can be made over something which is not more than an exchange of money for goods and services between a customer and a business.

As long as you chew with your mouth shut, don't spit on the floor, and refrain from letting of too much gas, I could not care what waiters think of the composition of my meal. If they start to act funny, I go somewhere else, or the tip goes down to zero.

Canon Chasuble and I visit Italy fairly regularly and we always have a primo, a secondo and a half litre of wine.
The good Canon sometimes has antipasto and I sometimes have a pudding if I have room.
We are of the generation where you don't eat between meals.
If I want ice-cream, I have it as part of a meal.
I just cannot imagine asking for a second plate and splitting a main course. It would make us look like that poor little man in the American Depression who asked for one meatball:-(
The portions are small enough to manage even at my age.