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-   -   Is anyone here afraid to fly?? (https://www.fodors.com/community/europe/is-anyone-here-afraid-to-fly-503604/)

thomthumb Feb 24th, 2005 05:33 PM

"I used to hate it until my daddy hid me in the Texas air national guard!"
JUST KIDDING! please don't change the path of this thread because of me! I actually love to fly. After being in the army, it's fun!

jame Feb 24th, 2005 05:43 PM

I am definitely afraid of flying. It was starting to take away from my excitement about going to Europe, so I have been working on it a lot in the past few years. I can recommend a few websites that have really helped me.

One is www.fearofflying.com. It is run by a retired 747 Captain. He is selling a course called SOAR, which I took, and which has helped me a lot, but you don't have to take the course to participate. There is a message board and very active once a week chat. If you really want to do some work on your fear, I do highly recommend the course.

I also like www.fearofflyinghelp.com. That is also run by a Captain and he offers a free online course. I found that course very helpful and have actually printed it out and take it on flights with me now. If you donate a small amount of money you get access to some more great information and tools. There is also a message board on this site.

A new and growing site is www.takingflight.us. This is basically a support group made of up fearful flyers and there is also a Southwest pilot who participates on the message board, which is very active.

Also, one of the most useful things I have learned to do is to meet the pilots when I get on the plane. I still can't believe what a difference that makes for me.


jerry Feb 24th, 2005 06:22 PM

I got freaked out about flying when my kids were born, especially when my wife and I flew without them. I got over it by taking flying lessons and soloing. The more I knew about it, the better I felt.

StCirq Feb 24th, 2005 06:44 PM

I think my fear of flying increases with every year I age. NOT that it would ever keep me from going on a plane ride, but I have been a total basketcase on flights with really bad turbulence. WWW.Fear of flying.com helped me a lot. I guess I could do drugs, but I'm fearful of them, too;)
I'm not religious, but I've been known to "pray" on turbulent flights. When the drink carts start rolling down the aisle on their own and the flight attendants are cautioned to stay strapped in, I'm a bundle of nerves assuming the worst, even though I KNOW no one ever died from turbulence.

Robespierre said <And I never fly in anything designed by McDonnell or anything that interposes software between the pilot and the control surfaces.>>

OK, so what did McDonnell design that I might be flying on, and what other airlines might I eschew because they interpose software between the pilot and coontrol surfaces?

I'll be a nervous wreck until I get this information.

crefloors Feb 24th, 2005 09:13 PM

Well, I'm getting ready to fly down to the Bay Area tomorrow morning and am in the process of pinning every angel pin I own on the lapel of my jacket..LOL. It's worked so far!!!

LoveItaly Feb 24th, 2005 09:37 PM

Oh Crefloors, have a good flight and a good time in the Bay Area. Hugs to you!

ABJS Feb 25th, 2005 05:12 AM

crefloors,
My thoughts are with you for a very calm and smooth flight.

Kostroma Feb 25th, 2005 06:49 AM

A cramped, 16 hour journey on a Greyhound bus that would have taken 90 minutes on a plane has finally convinced my mother to fly. However, she only wants to fly on "real" planes. She won't even consider getting on the smaller regional jets that airlines use on shorter trips. How do I convince her?

Scarlett Feb 25th, 2005 07:06 AM

Kostroma,
When I found out that the plane to Florida from Newark was a Continental Easy jet, (little) I was ready to drive! I have always vowed never to get on a little plane ( little Cessna props types are still out) but when a steward at the airport said that pilots love to fly them, it is like driving a sports car compared to the big family sedan, I said ok. Now I look forward to getting on them, they seem to go faster, they only fly over land and not quite as high as the big jets so you can see the ground, sort of.
And since they only hold about 30 or so people, it feels like you are in your own private jet with one attendant helping out.
Hope this helps :)

nbbrown Feb 27th, 2005 06:31 PM

Thank you all, so much.

As a matter of fact, I have, and do pray pretty regularly. Perhaps I don't have enough faith, because I still get the uneasy feeling in my gut when on a plane. And in my heart, I also believe in "God's will be done", but I just need to convince my head of that!!

Flying is one of the few things I was not afraid of, until I got on the plane with my husband. He was so nervous and sick that it made me nervous! He turns absolutely pale and sweaty. I need to work on being a support for him, I think. He is most miserable. My fears have also gotten worse since 9/11.

Thanks again for all your support and suggestions. It really helps!

Billie

yeadonite Feb 27th, 2005 07:14 PM

Carol Cott Gross, Travel and Fly Without Fear 516 368-4244 in Ny Laguardia Airport on Thursday nights. It helped me, I used to travel internationally for work, then could not get on a plane. The classes got me on a plane. I will top some others.

Plutarch Feb 27th, 2005 07:32 PM

While I do not fear flying, I do dislike being in such close quarters to so many people for hours upon end! ^_^
I bring a laptop or Gameboy Advance, a book, and cd or mp3 player. Once on the plane, play video games or read and enjoy a few cocktails.
If your husband is older, and interested in history at all, I reccomend 'Sid Meier's Civilization' [for PC and Mac]. It's a strategy game of conquest and empire management, and it's VERY historically accurate. My 50 year old dad loves it, and it's so addictive flights seem like nothing.
As for the books, I reccomend collections of short stories, as with longer novels one may lose interest and return to thinking about the plane crashing into the big blue ocean.

LoveItaly Feb 27th, 2005 07:49 PM

Hi Billie/nbbrown. I just read your last post and I think the problem is not that you are terribly afraid of flying but that you are so worried about your poor husband it emotionally upsets you. When one is upset then many things seem scary that would not normally bother us.

Now I know that most men are not to willing to go to a doctor but is there the possibility that you could get your husband to do this and get some kind of medication that will help him relax for the flight. Maybe tell him it would be a great favor to you.

I hope something gets worked out. Take care.

nbbrown Feb 27th, 2005 08:13 PM

Thank you so much.

Plutarch... we are both in our early 40's. My husband can't even read on a plane!

LoveItaly, you are such a sweetheart... thank you! my husband is the rock I cling to. He is so solid. But I guess we all have our fears, and this one is his. I do have a prescription for Ambien (this is an overnight flight) and I think we will both take a half and try to get a little sleep a little ways into the flight. We saved up long enough to be able to travel first class (we are sooooo tall!) so we have seats that will lay down all the way, so maybe that will be helpful in relaxing.

Thank you again... this is most comforting!

Billie

LoveItaly Feb 27th, 2005 08:20 PM

Billie, 1st class, how much more relaxing that will be! I bet anything that part of your husband's problem is that he is crammed in the seat without even being able to move. That always annoyed my husband, although he was not afraid of flying. But lets say he was not his usual relaxed self. And he always got someone behind him kicking the seat, and I do mean on almost every trip.

I use to have him get one martini before he got on the plane, with hopes he would not notice feeling like the "sardine in a can" feeling.

I think, and sure hope, with Ambien and your wonderful seats this trip will be so much better.

And you are a sweetie too. I know we all hope this flight will be a good one for both of you. Happy travels!

GreenDragon Feb 28th, 2005 06:03 AM

Plutarch, I almost laughed out loud when I read your post. That's my plan for our next trip to London! We have a laptop and will be playing Sid Meier's Civilazation III the whole trip, to keep hubby from worrying about the flight!

It's a turn based game on building civilization up from antiquity, including Wonders of the World, armies, city improvements, etc... a good, time-consuming game, can easily take up 9 hours!

It's a small world!

alexandra90 Feb 28th, 2005 02:56 PM

When on a plane, I am convinced I am the absolute WORST flier in history. I have tried everything. On my last flight to London, I took a dosage of Valium, which proved entirely ineffective. I am a strong believer that these remedies do not work unless you want them to, and believe they can.
That being said, I am taking a four-flight vacation this April to Vienna, Budapest, and Prague, and a four-flight vacation this summer to Peru. That is not to say that, when on the flights, I am a total loonie. I call over flight attendants, bawling my eyes out, asking if we're all going to die. I can't sleep, because I have constant repeats of the plane going up in flames. My brother has had several bad experiences, (i.e. oxygen masks coming down, dropping altitude), and has come out perfectly fine. The truth is, and what I always remind myself, is that these pilots are trained for nearly any scenario. It is a real trust situation, because the flier has to trust that the pilot knows what they are doing. I think it helps to meet the pilot prior to take-off, because sometimes seeing a real, live, breathing human and knowing that's who's in control, can help us at some level of consiousness, even if we do not realize it.
Another thing I like to do is, as tuscanlifeedit said, focus on exactly what I am doing, without allowing my mind to stray. However, I have also read that sometimes it is a good idea to think about all the possible outcomes prior to boarding, so that there is no sudden stream of fearful emotions. Either method may work for anyone. For me, neither work, so what I like to do is learn about planes. For some people, learning about the mechanics and technicalities of flight is reassuring, because then it is easier to understand how safe and how good a system it really is. I have heard statistics millions of times, and heard that turbulence is harmless to the plane, but that information never really does it for me, considering I always think of those unfortunate few each year. So, in conclusion, I think that the absolute BEST remedy, especially for me, and hopefully for you, too, is EXCITEMENT. Try to remove yourself from where you are at that moment, and think of where you're GOING to be. My grandmother always felt that it was impossible for her to be scared on a flight because she was always thinking of where she was going, and what adventure she was about to have. So, when I fly, I like to surround myself in pictures, guidebooks, paraphenalia, etc; anything to remind myself and get excited about what flying is all about: travel!
I hope this helps!
Alexandra

MissZiegfeld Apr 13th, 2011 11:15 AM

I'm resurecting an old thread here. I'm 27 and a former flight attendant (no longer a flight attendant, but not because I'm afraid to fly!!). I NEVER used to have a problem with this, either while working as an FA or travelling for pleasure (which, before I got married, I did 1-2 times a month!)

Anyway, my partner has a huge fear of flying. Or should I say HAD. Yes, using my knowledge of planes and how they work, I talked her out of her fear. She flies fine now. No valium or anything.

Me? Somehow, in talking her out of her fear, I managed to talk myself into a fear of flying! I don't even have a flight scheduled until November (going to Paris with my mother), and I am already having anxiety about it. Especially flying over water. I've been to Europe over a dozen times, it just seems ridiculous that I'm having this problem now :-(


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