Is anyone here afraid to fly??
 

Any if so, what do you do about it? My husband is very phobic. It starts to rub off on me! And I have to admit, it is a little unnerving to me to be on a plane for over 10 hours...(it's not like you can just step out for some fresh air!)

I hate to fly period, end of story. Having said that, if I don't fly I don't go anywhere and I'm not willing to do that, I need to get to Paris, London etc. So, I just do it. I meditate, take my CD player and earphones and do some meditation on the plane, I do visualizations of safe arrival etc, I have some other too, but lest you all want to commit me I'll not share them with you. I don't do any pills, drugs, or alcohol, and once I'm in the air, I'm pretty much fine. There are millions of people that fly all over the world every day and get where they are going in perfectly fine condition and I remember that. My love of travel is greater than my fears I guess. I DO hate that flight to Europe from the west coast, but by the time I have dinner, meditate, get up and walk around, go to the bathroom etc, and then am ready to scream "let me outa this d--- plane!!!!!!!!" they serve breakfast and we land. So it all works. That's what works for me...everyone is different so you'll have to decide how you and your husband want to deal with it. Some take pills like Ambien etc to relax, some have a couple of drinks with dinner and then are able to sleep...so you'll just have to figure out how to handle it. Good luck.

I have been working on my fear of flying for years now, and I'm getting very much better. I don't drink alcohol or use medications, but for long overnight flights, I do use sleeping pills (Ambien) perscribed by my doctor. Here are the things I do to "make it better."

1. Years ago, it was suggested to me to practice mindfulness. There is an awful lot written on this subject, and I am sure you can get a book at the library or online.

Mindfulness, as I understand it, has a lot to do with being in the moment, rather than being in the future where "what might happen" might happen. No matter what I am doing, I try to be aware of it, and concentrate on it.

So, if I am just breathing, I pay attention to my breathing. If I am reading, I pay close attention to my reading. If I am packing (pre-flight) I keep my mind on my packing, and not what "might happen" on a plane.

2. I make sure I am as comfortable on the plane as possible. Everyone has their favorite seats, and I try to choose the seats I am most comfortable in.

I pack my own first class amenities kit. They get those things up front to make them more comfortable. If I am comfortable, I am less anxious. Hence, why shouldn't I have the same goodies they do?

My kit (actually two kits: one for me and one for my Valentine/husband) has a blow up neck pillow, a soft eye shade, Earplanes, ear plugs, saline nasal spray, hand wipes, lip balm, moisture cream for hands and face, air sickness medication, and gum.

Additionally, I take good reading material, wear comfortable clothes, and have a comfort snack with me on a long flight.

3. I pray. I try not to pray for a safe flight, which I of course want, but more for an abatement of my fears and the ability to enjoy my life where ever I am, including on an airplane.

Now, all of this works for me. I hear lots of folks talk about chemical solutions, but I don't think they attack the fear at its root. I prefer to train myself, and pamper myself, into serenity.

In terms of the "feeling trapped" stuff: I tell myself that I am, after all, trapped. I can freak out, but it won't change the fact that I'm trapped. So, a little meditation, some contemplative prayer, and distraction and entertainment seem to work best for me.

Hope this helps.

There have been several long threads on this if you search above - including fear of flying classes and psychotherapy to help relive the control issues.

(I don;t have fear of flying - but would love it a lot more if I - instead of the pilots - was in charge of the plane. I'm also a really bad rider in a car unless I trust the driver.)

nytraveler, isn't that the truth!?
If we could only get behind the wheel~
I have gotten worse about flying in the past few years, but this is what I do.
Take Xanax, a good book, good music, my pashmina to snuggle down in and I eat very little plane food and go to sleep if at all possible. My husband will play cards with me or just chat if I cannot sleep, he helps keep me from worrying.
Watch the movie, even if it is bad, it makes the time go more quickly.
and do get up and walk back to the bathrooms a few times. It helps with that cooped up feeling.
This is what I dread about flying to Japan- 17 hours :(

Ditto to all the above. We leave for a trip back East for two months in May and already I am nervous. I look at it as a practice for the trip to France in September.

I found a book in the library about the fear of flying written by a psychologist and I read it last month. I found it helpful. But that was a month ago. It's easy to read about reasons for the fear when you are on the ground.

For me it's an issue of control. I hate to lose it. Simple as that. And if Ambien, Xanex help so be it. It doe make me more comfortable to know others feel the same way.

I have found deep breathing exercises and concentrating on my breathing in and out help. (that's till the beverage cart comes).

ME!
And to make it worse, my 8 year old said to me the other day "Mom, I'm scared about flying! What if the plane crashes?"
Needless to say, I had a panic attack that night.
We leave on the 29th march....

i do hate the discomfort of flying (as i fly coach). that part i hate...17.5 in by 32 inch area. it's almost criminal to be put in that position for 10 hours, but it's only 10hours.

as for the fear of crashing, it's just the glorfication of plane crashes that makes it stand out. otherwise (i'm sure the stats are out there) there are a ton more deadly car crashes on a per minute basis.

still hate turbulance...try to get my 3 minutes of sleep in and rattles you awake.

As a long haul flight attendant I am aware of how many people are afraid to fly. Many different reasons,men and women but I have only had one person ever get off before the flight. When you get on make yourself known to the cabin crew and explain your situation. Never feel embarrassed as there are probably many others like you that havent said anything on that flight. Get up and walk around during the flight.Dont feel you have to stay in your seat. If you are too afraid to get up ask one of the cabin crew to walk around with you. Get them to explain what the eg.noises are or bumps etc. And as tuscanlifeedit says take your favourite things with you. Put on your favourite comfortable clothes,listen to some music or watch a movie. Read about your destination. And if you are wide awake during the night and still feeling nervous go and talk to the cabin crew. Just ask,ask,ask,never sit with white knuckles wondering. And I believe everyone has a fear...I hate lifts. I am still working on that one!

I hated flying until I started using airplanes ! Now I am more scared driving to the airport !

Add me to the list of fearful flyers.

I practically jump out of my chair every time I hear a noise, a thump, or feel a change in altitude. Don't even get me started on turbulance.

My very patient hubby helps by identifying all the noises and he seldom fusses when I leave fingernail indentations in his hands.

Having said that.....

I've been around the world five times and I've lived in four countries. None of this would have been possible without getting on a plane.

Hi. I became a nervous flier after my kids were born and when I flew without them. Every time the plane would shift direction, I'd look all around, and it would always seem like no one else was concerned about anything but me.

I recently read the book, Ask the Pilot. The author is a pilot who flew a commerical airplane and a cargo plane. He answers all sorts of questions about flying, from the logistics, to airports, etc. It's an interesting book.

His answers to many questions put my mind at ease, especially about turbulence. He said that is rarely something to be concerned about - the unsafest part of flying is taking off and landing. And even then, well, I'm sure you're heard all the statistics.

I get sweaty palms just HEARING a plane fly overhead. It doesn't stop me from flying though. Have a big trip coming up this summer. I'll start hoarding valium from relatives like crazy between now and then. (Maybe I should just get a prescription from my doctor-duh!)

I don't mind flying.

I do mind flying with my younger brother the airline mechanic. One time landing in Indy the pilot had to pull the plane up very hard. My brother asked me quietly if I heard that pinging sound. I did. He explained it was the anti-stall warning and smiled.

Yes, there are lots of threads about this. I am afraid to fly but I don't let it stop me. I white knuckle through a good portion of our flights, especially when there is turbulence. My husband sleeps like a rock, so I am sitting there teeth chattering with my heart in my stomach. I make the usual deals with god asking that if something must happen please let it occur after the trip. I realize this is illogical and know the flight safety statisitics but it still doesnt stop me from worrying.

My solution is that I just keep telling myself that this is how I get from point A to B, and that I will learn so much and will encounter so much happiness once we arrive it's worth it. I won't let the fear overwhelm my happiness when traveling.

indytravel,
anti-stall warning :-o ...didn't need to know that.

Long ago, yes, but after hops in F-4's, F 14's and F 18's...
M

I went through a period of about 6 years where I was scared of flying. It really got bad to the point that I was almost in tears during one flight.

I decided to take control. I read everything I could find about planes. I learned how they work and why they fly. I read all about plane disasters and lots of near misses to educate myself about what causes a crash. Being armed with knowledge, I can now control my perception of flying and dont really worry about it. I do get a little tense still the day before the flight but once on board I am fine.

However, I will NOT fly in severe weather. You can count me out. I will fly another day before I board a plane in a blizzard or a major thunderstorm.

tuscanlifeedit - I love your travel kit idea! I'm going to make one for myself.

I am also afraid of flying - especially over water and for such a long distance, but I am trying to focus on my excitement of my first trip to Europe instead of the flight itself. I plan on bringing a couple of my small travel books to look at (since I can rarely concentrate on any deep reading while flying) and taking a Xanax (helped tremendously on my last flight).

I like the idea of reading the Ask The Pilot book. I feel safer on the ground but any small fear of flying cannot stop me from travelling. I have finally convinced myself that each time the plane hits turbulance it does mean we crash. I feel safer flying over water. What I really like is the little radar tracking screen sometimes called airshow which seems to make you feel you are getting closer to your destination--the same one that you watch the movie on.

I went through the "fear of flight" on-line classes (just Googled, printed, and read at my own speed) and used those breathing exercises.

Inhale, exhale slowly saying "relaaaaxxxxx"...

It helps as much as those "being in labor" breathing exercises, but at least it keeps your mind off the take-off.

Per that class every 3rd flier is the "white knucle" flier, so sit next to me ;) I'll be the "designated white"

anyone try to get some professional help to overcome these fears?

Whenever I get scared on a flight I look around and 99% of the passengers are sound asleep and the 1% are calming reading. Where are all the other white knucklers when I need you?

I just resign myself to being in a cramped stuffy space for over 10 hours and try to let it go. I used to be alot more afraid but it gets better after alot of long flights. I mean it gets easier to resign myself.

(After one panic attack, I did get off of a plane during a stopover years ago, rented a car at the airport and drove the rest of the way from Chicago to Los Angeles.)

Oh and a friend told me to thank God for the safe flight just as you step into the plane.

I also read the book written by a retired airline pilot.
I was very relieved to know that turbulence could not possibly damage a plane or cause "catastrophic" outcomes, especially if the plane was at cruising altitude.
Before reading the book, I always worried about the slightest turbulence.
I think there were only 30-something deaths in the US all of last year in commerical aviation.
How many traffic fatalities were there just last weekend?

Platzman - also, I recall hearing in 2002 the statistic that 2001 was the safest year in airline travel. And that figure included the planes involved on 9/11. That was a interesting statistic to me; I'm not sure if each year after 2001 was even safer.

I'm a pilot, so the only thing that I think about is the competence of the crew and air traffic controllers.

Accidents happen when crews push it too far (mostly weather-related stuff), and not a few casualties have resulted from mid-air collisions where controllers didn't detect an aircraft intruding on the airspace.

And I never fly in anything designed by McDonnell or anything that interposes software between the pilot and the control surfaces.

nbbrown, I have known so many people that feel like your husband does. I think there are a lot more then one realizes. And from reading this thread I am convinced of it, especially after reading the post from the airline attendant.

The funniest one I know of personally was a family member. He was at Pearl Harbor when it was bombed. He was a hero in WWII, the Korean and the Vietnam Wars. Was a Lt.General in the AirForce. Had every medal that one could receive.

And he absolutely hated flying in a commercial plane. If he could not be the pilot he did not want to fly. And he only flew a few times on a commercial plane after he retired.

So for all you that have a problem, don't feel alone.

And then there is me. I love getting on the plane, I love the take off. I love feeling that I am "away" from the world. And then I love landing to whatever area I am going to. But we are all different.

I was never a great flyer but several years ago my phobia became bigger. I do take Xanax...it's worth it; it relaxes you but doesn't put you out, and I also take dramamine to help me sleep. But something that did help a bit for me was Northwest Airlines Fearless Flying program. It's a tape and a booklet and I try to listen to the tape every time I am on a plane and begin listening to it about a week before flying. It does help in understanding certain things about why the plane is moving in a certain way... such as turbulance. Ultimately, it is all about control. No doubt your husband, like the rest of us, wants that while flying. I found that when I fly more and listen to the tape more I don't use as much medication to fly. I wish you luck in this...and your husband too.

I'm one of those sick people that love flying, and have fun with the turbulence (I think of it as a roller coaster ride). OK, yes I'm evil :)

My DH, OTOH, can't stand flying. He never says he's scared, and blames it all on the discomfort and hassle of security, but I know he is nervous about flying itself. He refuses to even enter the little 'puddle-jumper' planes. It keeps me from enjoying the flight because he keeps up a constant complaint stream about everything.

Is it a bad thing to want to fly to Europe without him? How about on our honeymoon??? :)

I hate being in a plane for a long flight (so cramped!), but I'm also among those rare, sick individuals who love to fly. Took my first flight at 6 and have been in love with planes ever since.

I have flown with people who are fearful of flying, so I know the fear is very real. My mother begins getting anxious days before a flight!

I used to date a guy who was a private pilot, and he loaned me flight instruction books. While I never had a fear of flying, it was more comforting knowing exactly how why/how an airplane stays up, what exactly is turbulence, and exactly how does a plane get on and off the ground. Now when I sit in a plane next to some one who tells me they are fearful of flying, I explain to them exactly what is going on. The problem for most people is hearing/feeling stuff that they cannot see.

Obviously, going to flight school is not for everyone, but if you can get your hands on the mechanics of flight, you might find your fears alliviated.

And, it always pays to remember: planes are at their most vulnerable during take off and landing. After all, pilots refer to a landing as a controlled crash, which it really is in more ways than one. So, if you've ever flown, you have actually already experienced a "crash". And, driving anywhere is far more dangerous to your health than anything that can happen in the air!

But, even with all of this, I will not fly in bad weather. As pilots say: if the birds won't fly, why should I?

Hear! Hear!

And even if you don't want to learn to fly, taking a sample lesson may give you at least a little insight into what's involved. The flight school/plane rental places (called Fixed Base Operators, or FBOs) will even let you fly the thing the first time up, if you want to.

<b>http://www.beapilot.com</b>

Flying doesn't bother me...
..major fear of clowns..but if I was on a plane with a clown...then we'd have a problem....

Anyone in their right mind should be afraid to fly (just stop and think about what you're doing!).

To me that IS the key... DON'T think about it (plus I take an anti-anxiety prescription medication right before the flight).

For the truly phobic there are therapists, classes, hypnosis, behavior mod, etc. that would be valuable to look into.

Has anyone just simply closed their eyes and prayed? Prayer truly has the power to help in any situation. Give it a try next time you feel the need for support. I do and it helps me!

Controled crash? Gee, I feel better already!!!!! LOL

Hello ABJS, yes twice on flights I did pray, and it brought complete peace.

And on one flight in Italy, with terrible turbulance I had a unknown young Italian girl (about 18 years of age)across the aisle from me get hysterical. I took her hand and silently prayed and within one minute she completely relaxed.

I've been a pilot since 1973, and I must confess I really don't equate a routine landing with a &quot;controlled crash&quot; - and I think it's an extremely thoughtless thing to say if your goal is to allay the fears of someone who doesn't like to fly.

Everyone knows what a &quot;crash&quot; is - it's what's on the 6 (film at 11) showing smoke billowing from a broken fuselage, scattered luggage, and anxious relatives in the boarding lounge. A &quot;controlled&quot; one is where the loss of life is minimized.

Landing: the act of guiding an aircraft onto the ground.
Good landing: in which the occupants all walk away.
Great landing: in which the aircraft can be reused.

LoveItaly, You would be a great flight companion!

Oh ABJS, thank you so much for your comment. That really touches my heart.

To tell you the truth the turbulance was so bad I was starting to pray and I heard a sob and this young Italian girl across the aisle was sobbing.

I forgot about me, I felt so bad for her.

And I reached out and took her hand. And something special (an angel?) touched both of us.

I do live by the theory that &quot;Gods will be done&quot;.

Again, thank you for your very loving comment. May an angel be with you whenever you need one.