Irish PUBS: How to meet people?
 

We are from the USA and headed for the first time to Ireland in July. Travelling with hubby and 2 young adult daughters (over 18).

Here is what I have learned on-line about Irish pubs. Please feel free to add your experiences and if you're a local, tell me the "unwritten rules"!

Rule #1 BELLY UP to the bar. If you don't go stand at the bar everyone will think you don't want to talk to them. True or false? (As opposed to sitting at your own table.) And how does the shy family belly up to the bar?! (We're not shy once we get started. We're the kind of family that stands there and pokes each other and says, YOU do it..NO, YOU go first...) :bucktooth:

Rule #2 BUYING A ROUND: If somebody buys a round of drinks and you are included, it's your turn to buy next. True or false? This seems complicated. What happens if a dozen new people have joined your "group"?

Rule #3: If you want to hear the music you gotta sit close to the musicians and it is rude to talk while they are playing although in some bars everyone is talking...

I'm just enjoying taking a vicarious trip to the Irish pub before I arrive in Ireland. I am interested in hearing from tourists what it was REALLY like in the Irish pubs. I enjoy hearing from locals too. ((B))

You don't need to tell me to stop planning. I am a writer and I write to think. If I'm not writing and planning, my brain stops working. I love it! Just trying to have some fun. Thanks! :)>-

I'll take a stab.

Definitely belly up to the bar! If you need courage, I recommend the liquid kind - keep a bottle of Jameson's in your hotel room and do a round of shots en famile before you go out.

If someone buys you a round you could return the favor very shortly thereafter and the bartender should give them a "chit" and wait to serve them until they're finished (not a very long time to wait in Ireland). I don't think they'll try to add people on to their group.

You should sit near the music/dance area to hear the music. It is in that area (within earshot of the band or those trying to hear) that it isn't nice to talk too loud, except between numbers.

Party on!
(B) (B) (B) (B) (B)

Make that ((B)) ((b)) ((b)) ((b)) ((b))

Well - you will have to go up to the bar to buy drinks - there usually isn't table service. But in many pubs there just isn't room for your whole family to "belly up". Send who ever is getting the drinks up to the bar and the rest of you are just fine sitting at a table.

Tables are not segregated. Folks will be sharing banquettes, or sitting right next to you even if they may technically be at a separate table. And at larger tables - if there are 2 or 3 people already seated and there are seats for 7 or 8, simply ask if you can sit there. 9 times ot of 10 the answer is a definite "yes". And you do the same - if you are seated at a large table and another group asks, invite them to join you.

Most of the time folks won't be buy rounds for more than their immediate party - and since you have to go to the bar to order that isn't an uncomfortable situation at all. If someone should buy you a round - then just ask them if they'll have something when you go order your next drink.

Isn't hard and isn't complicated - you'll get the hang of things straight away . . . . .

That should say " Most of the time folks won't buy rounds for more than their immediate party . . . "

And while that is true - sometimes they do buy for everyone at the whole table -- so just reciprocate if it happens.

amaclise and janisj, thanks for such friendly responses!

amaclise, it will definitely be a memorable family vacation if we keep a bottle of Jameson's in our room and take a shot before heading for the pub!((D)) Especially since my daughters are 19 and 20, and the drinking age here where we live is 21.

They are college students. Naturally they've already had a taste...but not normally with the family.) They just might be begging to make Ireland our family trip for next summer as well! :-d

That Irish pub is already calling me right in...I feel more comfortable already. We love places where you can share a table with folks you haven't met yet. (That isn't common here where we live.)

So do people settle into a spot and stay there? Or do they rove about from group to group?

A chit is something the bartender gives you for each drink you have paid for that hasn't been consumed yet? (Like when you are buying the next round for your table for example?)

Hubby and I haven't been to bars since we were single. We're looking forward to the pubs especially as it sounds like they are for all ages of adults. We're not big drinkers, we like a jovial atmosphere, meeting people around the world, and we want to here some good Irish trad. "Chunes" as I hear the Irish pronounce it.((8))

I heard that if you return to a pub for a second night, they consider you a regular. Does that imply that some of the Irish are at the pubs every night?! I wish we had a neighborhood pub. The closest thing we have is a neighborhood Starbucks, where people sit outside and say hello to each other.

Thanks for familiarizing me with the pubs. It's been fun chatting with you! The next round is on me. ((B)) ((B)) ((B))

What do people talk about? I hear politics and religion are out. I hope so, because I would NOT like to talk about politics on vacation. [-X

Melissa, you could also talk about football (better than politics ????)

Keep in mind that you are two generations: Parents & daughters. Your daughters might like 'Sports Bars' for their more youthful ambiance, whereas Mom and Dad might be more comfortable in more traditional Pub atmosphere.

Much of my Genealogy is done in Pubs: I have had cousins appear at a Pub after I told the Pub owner who my family was and where they were from. That will always get a rise out of some locals.

With the price of a pint of Guinness over five dollars, I try to avoid any groups that rotate buying rounds within the group. I just can't afford 25 Euro 'rounds.'

In her 'Whoredom in Kimmage' book, Rosemary Mahoney describes typical Pub patrons pretty accurately.

The Irish are a curious lot, and almost everyone has 'people' in the States, so whether you 'belly up' to the Bar or sit at a table, it's no less likely that someone will approach you to ask where you are from and if you have 'people' in the area.

Yes, if you want to hear the music you should get there at least 30-minutes before it is scheduled to begin. Just use your common sense re: talking while the music is playing. Our most enjoyable music session was an impromptu one at Cruise's Restaurant & Pub in Ennis on a Sunday afternoon in March: It ran from about 1:00 PM to 4:30 PM.

I guess the shot of courage is out - I heard young adult daughters but didn't think that young.

You're right about the "chit". It's a record of the drinks you have coming to you. It may be a regional term as well, doubt they know it over there but maybe they do. The bartender may keep track in their head as well, a mental "chit"!

I think the table hopping comes later into the evening when things get really rowdy, during the more subdued hours I don't think people go from table to table in groups, maybe individually.

I would talk to them about the World Cup Football, the history and customs of the part of Ireland you are in, and the music being played.

And, yes people do go to the pub every night all over the British Isles. That's why they feel like living rooms when you go in. You should also go to the pubs at lunchtime. If you went at night and returned for lunch they would love it and you would definitely be a regular!

:-) ((B)) :-D

two yrs ago we (husband two twentysomething sons and me)were in Ireland- sitting at a table in pub in Killarney, listening to music, people just came up and started conversation with us; tuned out the guy's first language was Gaelic, and his second was not that great, but we managed- it was fun. happens all over Ireland!!

Norween, I'm not an American football fan but I would enjoy hearing some talk about Irish sports. People love to talk sports. C:)

NEDSIRELAND: Thanks for the reply. You're right, since we are 2 generations, my daughters will inevitably drift towards the Sports Bars if that is where the Irish youth hang out. Hubby and I would prefer the more traditional Pub atmosphere. I am hoping our daughters will spend at least a wee bit of time with us before they leave us "old folks" in the dust! [-o<

When your new "cousins" appeared at the pub, did they buy you a drink, or did you buy THEM a drink? ((B)) I would be quite excited if some "cousins" appeared who might be willing to fill the gaps in my family tree! My Irish grandmother came to "Americay" on a boat when she was 17.

My daughters can't afford 25 euro 'rounds' either! What do the Irish young people do, those "starving students", when they go to pubs? Everyone buys their own drinks? And what does a young woman do if a guy offers to buy her a drink? If she accepts, does that give him a ticket to flirt? ((U))

amaclise, thanks for giving me a glimpse into the pubs. Chatting about the local history and customs sounds very interesting. Maybe I will recognize some of the music being played, as I've been listening to the Chieftains and the McKrells.

Pubs that feel like living rooms sound like a perfect place to spend an evening.

I'll tell hubby we need to find a pub with good food and go for lunch and an evening so we can become regulars. It's been fun chatting with you. :)>-

at the risk of spoiling the fun, i think some of the visions that you have of irish pubs are a bit romanticised. of course, it really depends where you are and what kind of pubs you go into but they can range from quite insular drinking pubs to quite jovial in atmosphere. even the jovial ones, however, may fall shy of your expectations of sociability. frankly in some of the more insular places you are lucky if you are tolerated never mind embraced as locals on your second night!

i see a lot of these types of pub rules and they are usually grossly out of date and serve only to add mystery to the whole pub experience rather than to describe reality. pubs with a lot of foreigners (many in ireland) follow no rules and you need not worry about anything. everyone fits right in.

it's best to follow your own instincts and not force behaviour that is not natural for you. if it's a place with mostly locals (often times older people), it is best to keep it a bit low key and not to try too hard.

most likely you will come away from ireland with a nice memory or two from your pub visit(s) but overall it's really not a big deal and most likely not a whole lot different from pubs/bars at home.

Melissa5,

This is a bit off topic but I'm happy to see you back "on" again. I feel like I've planned our trip right along with yours (ours, the last 2 weeks in August), so I'm dying to hear all about your trip when you return...when is that exactly, so I can be watching? I'm especially interested in how you find the weather, what you were happy that you packed and what you needed more of. We've decided (I think - haven't reserved yet) on Lisdoonvarna vs. Ballyvaughan as I wanted someplace more central so that we could check in and have a bit of a nap before going to the Cliffs at Sunset.

I won't go on as I know this was to be about pubs! Best to you - Casey

Walkinaround, everything is only as romanticized as you imagine it to be while you are experiencing it. So don't worry, I (and my daughters) have plenty of imagination! There is no reality. There is only our perception of it. O-)

Caseyhen, our trip is in July so look for my trip report at the end of July. Happy travels to both of us!

Melissa5 writes: "When your new "cousins" appeared at the pub, did they buy you a drink, or did you buy THEM a drink? I would be quite excited if some "cousins" appeared who might be willing to fill the gaps in my family tree!"

In one case it was lunchtime: Joseph (a non-drinker) came to the Heather Tavern (Bridge St,. Newcastlewest, Limerick) for lunch and to seek me out. He runs the driving school down the street. I had finished lunch but I accompanied him to his place of business and visited with him and his brother later. That's my father's side of the family.

In Mayo I had a similar experience but Anthony took me down the street from the West End Pub (Bangor Erris) to his house to introduce me to his mother (a distant cousin) and gave me a whiskey. I don't normally drink hard liquor but I didn't want to decline their hospitality (an insult in some cultures).

Later, I was trying to 'hitch' a ride to a nearby place (Shagraddy) from in front of a convenience store. The store owner, Mrs. Riordan, came out and asked where I was going. I told her and she took me in her Mercedes to the door of my (then) 105 year old second cousin (my Mother's First Cousin).

"And what does a young woman do if a guy offers to buy her a drink? If she accepts, does that give him a ticket to flirt?"

Sorry, I can't give you much feedback on that. I am a septuagenarian! But young ladies have bought me drinks in Ireland for no apparent reason. They definitely weren't flirting with me.

Try to find out where in Ireland your Irish Grandmother came from. I found much of my family history asking 80-or-90 something people I sought out in Pubs. The one nearest the local Post Office is often the best on Thursdays, when their Pension Checks arrive. There are also Senior Citizen Centers in some towns.

NEDSIRELAND: Well of course they were flirting with you! ;;)

It sounds like you had a grand time meeting those cousins...I'd love to meet a 105 year old cousin!

My grandmother grew up in a Belfast neighborhood. She was born in what used to be called "Tannaghmore West" somewhere south of Belfast. I wish I knew where my grandfather's Irish family was from. I only know where my grandmother grew up.

I have never been to Ireland, but in Barcelona there are a few very Irish pubs and some friends and I like to go. Our reasoning might be interesting to you.

1) Though we are not moochers, we don't generally pay for drinks at the bars. The Irishmen have them in our hands before we have time to belly up.
2) We like getting loud and rowdy and Irish pubs are just the place for it (just know where the exits are and slip out before it gets to crazy)
3) Theyh always play the best British pop music!

Now, mind you this experience is probably more akin to what your daughters will experience (my friends and I range from 23-27), but we always have a great time and leave glad that we went.