I think I don't have the same notion of "rude" that many people here has..I find very rude to approach a person in English...in a non english speaking country.

I'l with Leely on this one..
LOL...

One time I "dithered" when the lady behind the counter clearly was busy (lunchtime) and she may have emphatically suggested that I decide. The next day, seeing me again, at a decidely less busy time in the day, she was smiles...and cheerful and asked me how I was enjoying Paris, what had I seen...etc.

Here is one more example. We went to have breakfast at a restaurant next to the hotel. It was openned and empty. All tables were set up except one. Guess what they tried to put us at that table. You have to be kidding me! It had no plates, silverware, napkins or anything. Nothing! I refused to sit there so grudgingly they moved us to another table. Now this may not be rude behavior in France but I find it bizarre at the very least.

One thing I noticed is that if you act and look disgrunted the French treat you better. So from that point on I had this pissed off look on my face and we got along splendidly with everyone.

Asking if everything is ok and refilling your glass with ice tea qualifies as good service to me.

Chatting with passers by, smoking outside, ignoring your patrons, never bringing you any refills is bad service no matter where you live.

Refills ? Here in Europe ?? I've never seen such a thing :) You have to ask for another thing if you wish to have something.

jsims

Thanks for the trip report. I suspect people were not being as rude as you perceived, and I'm sorry that you so perceived it. I'm glad it didn't spoil your holiday.

I hope you may go to Paris again some time. Those who are analysing here may be able to help you defuse the rudeness with some tips in advance.

I'm not a huge Paris hand, myself (although I know South West France MUCH better), but I've never met rude service. Brisk at a level which is not what I expect at home, but then, I'm not at home, and when in Rome (or Paris) do as the Romanians (or Parisians)- sorry, that was always one of my mother's most awful jokes.

jsims: I pretty much think the entire problem (or 95% of it at least) was just misunderstandinhg the cultural and business differences between most of Europe and teh States. For instance -- you will not get refills in Europe unless you buy another drink. Refills are practically unheard of.

And the bill - a waiter will almost never bring you the bill untill you ask for it. From a French waiter's perspective - it would be VERY rude to bring the check before a diner specifically asked for it . . . .

In conclusion: I love Paris and will definitely go back. The city is beautiful. Thanks for all the feedback and remember Mariott Maida Vale & Sofitel La Grande Arch are good values for your money.

Well, if you're going to travel in a bubble and not even try to understand another culture, or do some researach on it before you go, your "impressions" are going to be skewed.

I think it's telling that the OP wanted to stay in some large American-type business hotel way out in La Défense because he'd heard "horror stories about European hotels."

Then waiters who don't do the smarmy "Hi, I'm Clifton and Ill be your server tonight" bit get pegged as rude.

And metro staff who don't put change in your hand (which Europeans pretty much never do) are rude.

And no refills? Oh the horror!! Once again, something that's just not done in Europe.

A Parisian who speaks French? Quite amazing, no?

Glad to hear you'll go back to Paris, though. Maybe between now and then you can pick up some tips on Fodors that will improve your impressions.

Unfortunately - Maida Vale is not very convenient for sightseeing - nor close to anything much. It may have been a nice hotel and you may have had a good rate - but to say it is &quot;<i>a short distance to all the attractions.</i>&quot; isn't very accurate. The nearest sites of any sort are Lord's and Regents Park, and it is nearly a mile from the park.

jsims

You are entitled to your feelings, even if they do not correspond to those of others in the same situation. If you felt annoyed by certain behaviours in Paris, then that is how you felt, case closed.

However, that you feel something was annoying, does not automatically translate to it being an act of insensitivity.

In some cases you need more information. Don't forget, restaurants even in the US might ask someone to move, if the table had already been reserved for someone else. It's hard to say without knowing more about the specific situation.

Re your cashier: People who know a second (or third, or whatever) language, especially if they know it only a little, may not automatically attempt to use it, for any number of reasons. Remember, 'knowing' doesn't automatically mean 'fluent.' I know some French, but when the going gets tough and I'm on the spot, I'll throw in the English word or phrase. This doesn't mean I'm obstinately refusing to use the French phrase - it means that I CAN'T use it - I don't know it, I've forgotten, or I got rattled, or whatever. So, your cashier might have been taken off guard at the outset of her encounter with you, and recovered only later.

Coffee refills are like 'return goods for any reason' policies - they have nothing to do with what is either legally or socially required, even in the US. One might miss these business practices when the establishment doesn't observe them - and one is free to miss them. One doesn't have to like differences, even if one can come to expect them.

I'm glad you enjoyed your trip, and appreciate your giving us your frank impressions.

Sue - your comment about coffee got me thinking that everytime I have ordered &quot;un cafe&quot; it has meant an espresso and it was always processed at that time.
The American system of filling a cup from a pot made &quot;who-knows-how-long-ago&quot; just does not exist in a cafe or even most restaurants.
As an asidse I have yet to have a cup of coffee made by a &quot;French Press&quot; in France. A Parisienne tells me that these are unusual even in homes. That electric coffee makers are the norm.

Thanks to all for their responses. Travel rules and I wish I could do more of it. By the way can anyone recommend a nice (modern) not too expensive hotel in Buenos Aires? Has to be 4 stars or better. Thanks.

Start a new thread on the appropriate forum for your hotel search.

robjame

In the UK we call a Frech press a cafetiere. We have a number in a range of sizes in the French house. But we had to buy the big ones here and take then over.

Danish pastry anyone?

ttt

Hello jsims, regarding your question about hotels in BA you would get more information if you posted this on Fodor's South America Forum. Best regards.

I was going to mention the M&eacute;tro windows but kappa already did and as for being asked to move table in the US, well, the very last time I was there visiting family it happened. My family needed the one large table at our favorite fried clam restaurant (since there were 8 of us) so the hostess asked the party of 6 if they would move to another table which they did and when they got up, we realized they were our cousins! So it happens.

umm - jsims,

I noticed your trip report is your fisrt post. Maybe it would have changed your perception of people in Paris, if you had done some research (including asking a few questions) before leaving.

As to your breakfast restaurant: Of course the waiters wanted you to sit at the only table without any napkins, plates and silverware. All the other tables were set for lunch. Breakfast in France usually consists of a coffee and a croissant or something similar. No need for linen napkins, forks, knives or anything else.

You simply caused them additional work, so they had good reason to be disgruntled.

One lives and learns (and has no reason to blame amyone else!)

Phil.