I agree with the others. The B & B is a business. They offered you a lower rate, either take it or don't. No need to feel guilty; it's not as though you've insulted a friend.

Perhaps you should have just inquired about a discount without actually offerering a lesser amount first.

Speaking as a both a business owner and a consumer advocate, I see nothing wrong for anyone asking for a discount.

It is the WAY they ask for the discount that would concern me. One should never insult the goods/services or business.

I am never offended if someone asks for a discount politley (of course I generally, refuse). As a business owner I don't hesitate to request discounts from my supplierrs.

It is important that everyone "save face". I don't want a customer to be so embarassed by my response that don't buy.

On the other hand, if I don't like a customer's attitude I would not be inclined to offer a discount. I still want them to buy, though.

PS
Thank you NYCFS for helping me to understand your perspective. Five marriages explains a great deal!

Look, asking for a discount is NO BIG DEAL! I've checked out many B&B websites for our trip to the UK in May and most offer discounts for stays of more than 2 or 3 days, mid-week discounts, etc.

As noted before, if the establishment did not want to give a discount, they would have said the price was FIRM. End of story!

Thonglori, what really strikes me about this whole flap is that the 30 euros total you are going to save with your discount is hardly worth the amount of anxiety, guilt, worry, etc that the interaction has already caused you. Even if the B&B had met your price, we are still talking about only 60 euros. I just don't see that the mental hassle is worth it.

I don't think it is wrong to ask for a discount, depending on the circumstances. However, if you can afford to get married in Venice in the first place, I would be inclined to think that 60 euros would make very little difference in your life. It's not as if you'll be eating rice and beans for a month to make up for it.

Personally, I'd much rather have paid the original price than to have to concern myself in the middle of my wedding with getting a gift for the B&B owners!

In any case, have a glorious time!

I'm with Patrick in that I wouldn't have felt comfortable asking for a discount from a small establishment like a B&B. If I really wanted to stay there, I would pay the asking price. Does 20 euros one way or the other really matter in the end?

Don't misquote me please. I didn't exactly say it wasn't OK to ask for a discount. I just thought it was "kinder" to say "what is the best price you can offer" rather than stating a specific price.

People may disagree, but think garage sale. When you're standing there with someone's former prized possession in your hand, isn't it nicer to say, "what's the lowest price you'll take for this?" as opposed to saying, "this is what I'll pay you for this"?

What's done is done. Just go and enjoy it now. And I wouldn't take a gift for them either. One, it would completely negate your efforts for the discount in the first place (or even cost you more overall), and two, it might be seen to indicate your concession to fault, which I don't think is all yours. If you feel good at the end of your stay, reciprocate with kind words. Or a promise to return at full price !!! :)

Mathieu -- Thank you for putting an END to this thread! Very well said.

As I said -- the offer has already been accepted, the credit card info sent... the guilt is gone! Thanks for all your input.

Looks like I'll already be a pro at negotiating with the gondoliers... ;-)

I am going absolutely nutz trying to figure out WHY I am the only one who doesn't understand simple things like :
Marrying abroad and negotiating $30 sound plain stupid (to me only ?)
along with
goung to Europe when dollar vs euro $1.30 is not affortable, but very affortable when $1.28 ...

Are people REALLY go on vacation knowing precisely to $10.00 how much they are going to spend, so dollar overspending becomes a trouble (multiplied by family members, days on vacation, meals eaten ???)
I am stupified !

I cringe at the thought that negotiating a hotel stay would ever become like buying t-shirts on a Mexico beach, where the "winners" possess qualities I least admire. I don't understand those who feel they're entitled to something for nothing, especially when the something comes at the expense of someone else.

It's beyond me that Thonglori would ask even the hotel for a wedding gift. Contrarily, if she's expecting special treatment for her special occasion, shouldn't she have to pay more?

I'm sorry, perhaps the latter posters had missed my message that the thread has ended!

For anyone who wants to assume how much I am paying for my wedding (which is not in Venice, by the way), you are as tacky as I apparantly am!

Please, as I said THANK YOU for you opinions, but let's let this dead horse lie.

I see your point. But unless this post is erased, it will continue to generate comments. Sorry.

Thonglori
Do you give gifts to hotels you say in? A B&B is also a business and IMHO should not be given a gift. You negotiated a price so please don't feel quilty. Maybe you just learned a lesson in HOW you want to negotiate from now on.

Now she wants to "end this thread" by just saying "The End"
Honey, you need a magic wound for it.

I thing negotiation of the price was just as "control freak" move as ending the thread...

Tat, Don't call me honey. I just meant that no one has to get riled up any longer -- the deal is done, credit card info sent. Offer accepted.

Thanks for your opinion!

Lori, Congrats on your upcoming marriage! PLEASE don't even look at this thread anymore. Let everyone continue to give their opinions, rants, etc., but there's no reason for you to worry. When planning a wedding, it is hard enough to deal with family and friends, let alone worrying about total stangers. Try to enjoy this time as much as you're able. And, don't hesitate to post again for more info when needed.

Thonglori,

I don't think that you grasp the concept of bulletin boards. Anybody can start a thread; only the moderators can close it.

That's a danger you must accept for the privilege of asking a question. Why want to close it anyway? Some of the comments are priceless.

Five times,NYCFS? Really?

I didn't mean to awake your "control freak" by calling you "Honey".
From "I'll pay this much for hotel" she goes to "End the thread" to "Do not call me Honey"
I hope your future spouse enjoys this army...

I appreciate your desire to bring a close to this discussion - it's served it's useful purpose in terms of your decision making process.

I just wanted to add my support for the position that it is indeed acceptable to ask (politely) for a discount.

I do this as a matter of routine when making bookings for any holiday that I am planning. As Patrick suggests, I send a polite email with a brief summary of what I am looking for. I then usually ask whether they offer any reductions on their published rack rate and whether they would be able to offer such a discount to me for my stay. Rather than asking for a particular rate I often just ask them to let me know what the best rate they can offer might be.

I have seldom received a sniffy response, though I did once from the crappest hotel on my list. The 4 star property I contacted on the off chance sent back a very gracious message offering me a rate that was about 70% (yes seventy) lower than their rack rate. When I chatted to them in person on arrival, they explained that, since they had a lot of availability in low season it made sense for them to offer good rates to customers they felt might return on higher budgets later in life.

I also find that even small privately owned B&Bs publish a rack rate that they will charge in high season when they know they can get enough bookings, but will often drop prices themselves at other times of the year.

Anyway, please feel free to email if you want to discuss exactly how I have phrased such emails or just to say Hi.

In the meantime, congratulations on your upcoming wedding... hope you have a very special day.

Thonglori, since you were the OP, you can email Fodors and ask them to remove this thread, if you so wish.