important!! OH NO I THINK I OFFENDED A HOTEL!! please help!!
 

I would like the hotel to remain nameless, but it is a B&B in Venice... they quoted me a price of 240 Euros per night (which is a little high for my budget), so I wrote back to them asking that since we are marrying in Italy and going for our honeymoon, would they be able to meet the rate of 220 Euros since it is a special occassion. Note: I was *very polite* and complimented the hotel highly!

The hotel wrote back, sayng they were "are quite hesitant about my frank request for a discount" and "we feel it a bit unfair to make all the other people pay the full price for the same type of room" and so they compromised with me by offering the room at 230 Euros... "on the other side, we'd very much like to meet your request considering that this is a special occasion for you and you are newlyweds."

NOW I FEEL HORRIBLY GUILTY!! I do not in any way want to offend the proprietors of this hotel and I am not a cheap american -- trust me!! I think I am going to offer to pay the 240 in full. Should I -- or are they just being obnoxious?

I sent the same "discount-asking" email to another hotel and was offered the rate I requested with no problem.

What to do?

I wouldn't give it another thought. They might be trying to lay a guilt trip on you, but so what. You aren't trying to make lifelong friends you just want a room at the best price possible.

Second bettyk. If the hotel didn't want to offer the discount, they wouldn't have.

As a rule, though, don't expect hotels to acknowledge something that doesn't confer some advantage to them. If the hotel has a restaurant, you might work out a half-board package that is cheaper than a meal and room purchased separately. Or you could offer to stay longer than what you deduce is the average stay. Or pay cash, or whatever. Any of these options might secure you a discount greater than 4 per cent.

Regardless, if you're going to Venice, where they have been merchants for hundreds of years, you'd best get a thick skin. Just wait till the glass shop tells you that at the price you offered, you will be starving their family.....

do you think they are going to stick me with a junk room now? :-(

Sue -- hilarious about the glass LOL!!!! Thanks you guys are right, I email the hotels and get so excited about them , I feel like I "know" them already. And very true, if they weren't willing to offer, they would not have.

Guilt is such a waste of time and energy. Snap out of it!

If you can't afford a 240 Euro room then you shouldn't be staying in one. Just because you're taking the "plunge" doesn't mean you deserve a discount. Why do new brides think everyone owes them special consideration? Yes, you were tacky to ask for a discount but now you should move on. I can't believe any Italian would "stick it to you" just because you made a naive faux pas.

Hi Thon,

I must respectfully disagree with NYCFS about asking for discounts, it is not tacky. Do you think all those rich people pay full price for anything?

Next, you did'nt insult the hotel. They insulted you.

Making a counter offer is acceptable. The business about "we feel it a bit unfair to make all the other people pay the full price for the same type of room" is pure nonsense.

BTW, would you care to buy a genuine hand-made, very rare Persian rug. My family is selling it because we need the money to pay for my dear, elderly mother's operation, which can only be performed in America.

PS, would you sponsor our application to go to America? :)

While I personally would never want to show my face to these people after having received such a message, we are only talking about 10 euros here. In the long run it can't make a helluva big difference in their profits, and since they agreed to it, I'd just assume they're ok with it and be sure to thank them in person when you get there.

hi everyone,

NYCFoodSnob -- OK, you've either never been a bride, you are male, or you are simply "a snob." I don't think I asked for much here... you've never bargained on vacation? Come on now.

IRA -- Hilarious about the rug! I'll take two!! LOL

St Cirq -- Agreed about the amount. I'm not embarrassed to show my face, though, because after all, as the others have said -- if they hotel didn't want to make the offer they would not have.

If it's going to prey on your mind and cause you stress and worry in the runup to your wedding/honeymoon, why not stay at the other hotel that met your request without any fuss? I'd choose peace of mind over guilt and worry any time!

thanks all for the feedback. i decided to take the hotel up on their offer... unexpectedly, this turned out to be a matter of only 10 Euros.

BUT, I don't think I was out of line at all in very politely asking if an exception can be made! JMO...

Puhleeeeze...I've been married five times and I bargained with nobody each time, even when I had no money. I think it's an insult to ask someone to take less than their stated fee unless a discount is offered. This isn't snobbery, it's plain old respect. We're talking about a Venice B&B, not Marriott .

I've met plenty of brides who think that just because it's their "special" day, they deserve the world and any behavior is acceptable. Gag me. They all make me wanna barf.

Ira is clearly not rich because his negative stereotype is cynical and insulting. He got this one ALL wrong.

NYCFS -- I'm sorry you have such a negative attitude towards the world. Thank you for your opinion.. Everyone is entitled to their own.

I guess we all make a distinction between bigger businesses (for example chain hotels) where no one thinks twice about trying for the best price imaginable and the small private owned business or B&B. Frankly, I wouldn't have had the nerve to ask for a special discount from a B&B, other than to innocently say something like "this is special stay for us and we would appreciate the lowest price possible. What would that be?" Suggesting to them a price you want to pay seems a bit bold to me. How did you arrive at a price you asked them to "meet the rate" of? No two B&B's are alike, so to try to get one to match another's price is sort of an apples and oranges thing.

I'm reminded that the years I ran my own business and had a design studio with furniture and accessories, how the hair would go up on the back of my neck when someone worth millions would say to me, "I like that lamp, will you sell it to me at half price?" Or my favorite, "My husband is a doctor. What will me discount be?" My stock answer was, "Well, I guess I'll give you the same discount your husband would give me -- nothing."

It is also an awkward situation when you arrive and start talking with other guests saying, "we got a special price of ____". That sort of thing in a B&B can cause a lot of ill feeling, not to mention the possibility of other guests going to the owner and saying, "can we get the discount they got?"

But they have granted your request so I'd go pretty guilt free. Although a little gift to them wouldn't be out of order, thanking them for their "consideration".

Patrick -- Very eloquently put. Thanks for your response! I already planned on bringing them a token of thank you in the form of a gift. I too, am a business owner of hand-made goods (by me) and get asked all the time for discounts. In most cases, I have no problem with it! (I agree with you -- Half-off a lamp, would be out of line).

As for how I met the price, I did not compare them to another hotel or B&B, I simply asked if would be possible for them to meet a lower price of 220 Euro, since this is a special occassion. Perhaps I should not have stated an exact amount... maybe this is where I went "wrong."

I don't think I should be burned at the stake for *very politely* asking for a price reduction due to a special occassion. I am also staying at the hotel for 3 nights, not an overnight fly through town. I hardly believe I am the ONLY one who has EVER done this! LOL

Thonglori,
congrats on you up coming wedding!
When will you be overseas anyway?
and is this your 1st trip to italy?
If so, boy, you will love it !

I think taking a small gift as a token would be a thoughtful idea , something from the area where you live or something you have made .

Snob,
Just because she is asking for a discount does not mean she can not afford the room.
I am giving great consideration to asking the place we are staying at in Rome if they can do anything for me price -wise.
I am talking about a suite that I reserved last august and the increase in the Euro has now caused the price of this to increase more than $50 US/night.
I am a repeat customer and I see no harm in asking.

Have you really been married 5 times?

Nanb-- Thank you so much. Actually I have been to Italy 2x before, and my fiance has only been once. We've never been there together though! Our wedding is in the fall.

Obviously, I don't see a problem asking if your hotel in Rome can do any better on the price they quoted. Patrick brought up a good point that maybe I should not have mentioned an exact amount, but rather been more vague about it. If you are a return customer, I'm sure they'll want you to keep returning!! Good luck and thank you for your reply!

does my anniversary qualify as a "special occasion?" how about my birthday? my wife's birthday? my aunt martha's birthday? my dog's birthday? or how about this being my first trip to venice? europe? one of those oughtta work.... yeah, i think i'm entitled!!!

Thonglori - I wouldn't listen to what anyone else says about it being disrespectful to ask for a discount - it's just business. I don't know of one good business person who doesn't try and negotiate. There's never any harm in asking. Go and enjoy your stay, and if they give you a dodgy room, complain!

I agree with Patrick, though my opinion is not based on any personal experience owning a business, as his is. However, now that you already did it, and a price has been agreed upon, if you want to stay at that hotel, I think you should just go and stay there without further worries, and I hope you thoroughly enjoy it.

I agree with the others. The B & B is a business. They offered you a lower rate, either take it or don't. No need to feel guilty; it's not as though you've insulted a friend.

Perhaps you should have just inquired about a discount without actually offerering a lesser amount first.

Speaking as a both a business owner and a consumer advocate, I see nothing wrong for anyone asking for a discount.

It is the WAY they ask for the discount that would concern me. One should never insult the goods/services or business.

I am never offended if someone asks for a discount politley (of course I generally, refuse). As a business owner I don't hesitate to request discounts from my supplierrs.

It is important that everyone "save face". I don't want a customer to be so embarassed by my response that don't buy.

On the other hand, if I don't like a customer's attitude I would not be inclined to offer a discount. I still want them to buy, though.

PS
Thank you NYCFS for helping me to understand your perspective. Five marriages explains a great deal!

Look, asking for a discount is NO BIG DEAL! I've checked out many B&B websites for our trip to the UK in May and most offer discounts for stays of more than 2 or 3 days, mid-week discounts, etc.

As noted before, if the establishment did not want to give a discount, they would have said the price was FIRM. End of story!

Thonglori, what really strikes me about this whole flap is that the 30 euros total you are going to save with your discount is hardly worth the amount of anxiety, guilt, worry, etc that the interaction has already caused you. Even if the B&B had met your price, we are still talking about only 60 euros. I just don't see that the mental hassle is worth it.

I don't think it is wrong to ask for a discount, depending on the circumstances. However, if you can afford to get married in Venice in the first place, I would be inclined to think that 60 euros would make very little difference in your life. It's not as if you'll be eating rice and beans for a month to make up for it.

Personally, I'd much rather have paid the original price than to have to concern myself in the middle of my wedding with getting a gift for the B&B owners!

In any case, have a glorious time!

I'm with Patrick in that I wouldn't have felt comfortable asking for a discount from a small establishment like a B&B. If I really wanted to stay there, I would pay the asking price. Does 20 euros one way or the other really matter in the end?

Don't misquote me please. I didn't exactly say it wasn't OK to ask for a discount. I just thought it was "kinder" to say "what is the best price you can offer" rather than stating a specific price.

People may disagree, but think garage sale. When you're standing there with someone's former prized possession in your hand, isn't it nicer to say, "what's the lowest price you'll take for this?" as opposed to saying, "this is what I'll pay you for this"?

What's done is done. Just go and enjoy it now. And I wouldn't take a gift for them either. One, it would completely negate your efforts for the discount in the first place (or even cost you more overall), and two, it might be seen to indicate your concession to fault, which I don't think is all yours. If you feel good at the end of your stay, reciprocate with kind words. Or a promise to return at full price !!! :)

Mathieu -- Thank you for putting an END to this thread! Very well said.

As I said -- the offer has already been accepted, the credit card info sent... the guilt is gone! Thanks for all your input.

Looks like I'll already be a pro at negotiating with the gondoliers... ;-)

I am going absolutely nutz trying to figure out WHY I am the only one who doesn't understand simple things like :
Marrying abroad and negotiating $30 sound plain stupid (to me only ?)
along with
goung to Europe when dollar vs euro $1.30 is not affortable, but very affortable when $1.28 ...

Are people REALLY go on vacation knowing precisely to $10.00 how much they are going to spend, so dollar overspending becomes a trouble (multiplied by family members, days on vacation, meals eaten ???)
I am stupified !

I cringe at the thought that negotiating a hotel stay would ever become like buying t-shirts on a Mexico beach, where the "winners" possess qualities I least admire. I don't understand those who feel they're entitled to something for nothing, especially when the something comes at the expense of someone else.

It's beyond me that Thonglori would ask even the hotel for a wedding gift. Contrarily, if she's expecting special treatment for her special occasion, shouldn't she have to pay more?

I'm sorry, perhaps the latter posters had missed my message that the thread has ended!

For anyone who wants to assume how much I am paying for my wedding (which is not in Venice, by the way), you are as tacky as I apparantly am!

Please, as I said THANK YOU for you opinions, but let's let this dead horse lie.

I see your point. But unless this post is erased, it will continue to generate comments. Sorry.

Thonglori
Do you give gifts to hotels you say in? A B&B is also a business and IMHO should not be given a gift. You negotiated a price so please don't feel quilty. Maybe you just learned a lesson in HOW you want to negotiate from now on.

Now she wants to "end this thread" by just saying "The End"
Honey, you need a magic wound for it.

I thing negotiation of the price was just as "control freak" move as ending the thread...

Tat, Don't call me honey. I just meant that no one has to get riled up any longer -- the deal is done, credit card info sent. Offer accepted.

Thanks for your opinion!

Lori, Congrats on your upcoming marriage! PLEASE don't even look at this thread anymore. Let everyone continue to give their opinions, rants, etc., but there's no reason for you to worry. When planning a wedding, it is hard enough to deal with family and friends, let alone worrying about total stangers. Try to enjoy this time as much as you're able. And, don't hesitate to post again for more info when needed.

Thonglori,

I don't think that you grasp the concept of bulletin boards. Anybody can start a thread; only the moderators can close it.

That's a danger you must accept for the privilege of asking a question. Why want to close it anyway? Some of the comments are priceless.

Five times,NYCFS? Really?

I didn't mean to awake your "control freak" by calling you "Honey".
From "I'll pay this much for hotel" she goes to "End the thread" to "Do not call me Honey"
I hope your future spouse enjoys this army...

I appreciate your desire to bring a close to this discussion - it's served it's useful purpose in terms of your decision making process.

I just wanted to add my support for the position that it is indeed acceptable to ask (politely) for a discount.

I do this as a matter of routine when making bookings for any holiday that I am planning. As Patrick suggests, I send a polite email with a brief summary of what I am looking for. I then usually ask whether they offer any reductions on their published rack rate and whether they would be able to offer such a discount to me for my stay. Rather than asking for a particular rate I often just ask them to let me know what the best rate they can offer might be.

I have seldom received a sniffy response, though I did once from the crappest hotel on my list. The 4 star property I contacted on the off chance sent back a very gracious message offering me a rate that was about 70% (yes seventy) lower than their rack rate. When I chatted to them in person on arrival, they explained that, since they had a lot of availability in low season it made sense for them to offer good rates to customers they felt might return on higher budgets later in life.

I also find that even small privately owned B&Bs publish a rack rate that they will charge in high season when they know they can get enough bookings, but will often drop prices themselves at other times of the year.

Anyway, please feel free to email if you want to discuss exactly how I have phrased such emails or just to say Hi.

In the meantime, congratulations on your upcoming wedding... hope you have a very special day.

Thonglori, since you were the OP, you can email Fodors and ask them to remove this thread, if you so wish.