A few other ideas...

friends have made the 'away chain' or 'love links'... where you link little pieces of paper together - she gets to take one off each day at a sleep time (2/day if she still naps). Kids have a hard time understanding napping vs. sleeping and what is a day. The last one will be the day you are home.

Or make little notes and she gets to open one each morning you are gone. Kids love envelopes to open! (or even rig it 'in the mail from mommy') One or two could have small treats (lollipop, Starburst, etc.) or even larger gifts. Maybe even make a few fun scavenger hunts ?

I liked to call. I called about the same time every day. Don't be surprised if they are too busy to talk to you - take that as a sign they are happy ! :)

WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN! I leave a list: Monday: 8:40 - 9:00 arrive Preschool (bag needed with snack), 11:45 - 11:55 pickup. (go through car line)... etc. I know you think it is redundant, but when you are giving DH and Mom information overload, to write everything down is a godsend when they can't remember the details. If they tell you its overkill, just say, "I was afraid I would forget to tell you so I wanted to write it down".

Set up a few playdates in advance so there is something fun for her to look forward to. (unless this would create additional stress).

Have Daddy do a few 'special' things... ice cream, soft pretzel at the mall, go out for breakfast, etc. Even sprinkles on ice cream (or in pancakes) as a treat!

Have a little box filled with things that are for Daddy's back pocket in case of emergency... new crayons, glitter glue, special cereal that you don't normally give her, a new teapot set, a puzzle book or a new book, a new Barbie/ Groovy Girl/Polly Pocket. They are his back pocket tricks in case of bad weather... or something. If they don't get used - awesome! save them for grandma's house.

once you board that plane, don't worry. There are people capable of taking care of your kids. They may not do it your way, but it will get done.

most importantly... have a wonderful trip! read.. sleep in... blow-dry, curl, style your hair without interruption. Sit down in the middle of the afternoon and take a nap...

(can you tell I've been there ?)

I wouldn't schedule a daily call at a certain time from Europe, too many variations may happen and then she will be disappointed. I have been there too!! LOL

I went for 3 weeks with my dad , when my kids were 3, 7 and 9.
The older kids( boys) were fine, I left notes for each day, plus I arranged play dates for 2 or 3 days a week to give my husband and his mother( who moved in to care for kids while I was away and hubby worked) a break. I also arranged other people to do driving to school and preschool( ohter moms, as MIL did not know area) .

I actually had to do a fair amount of preparation for this trip. Lists of favorites and least favorites( food, tv shows, clothes etc) . Schedules ( even hubby had no idea when soccer practice was, or when it was Pizza day at school)

I did not phone everyday, I personally think that stirs kids up,, I believe they will survive with out mommy for a few days. I did phone about 2 or 3 times a week. I also never said anything about sadness, loneliness, or any other suggestive key word, kids are smart and pick up on subliminal suggestions .

I promised my little girl, who was three, a "Princess Tiara" from a castle in France( the Chateau Au Printemps, LOL ) .

I made lists of everything. I made sure pantry was stocked to the roof. I cleaned, cooked and sorted and labeled everything,, in short I earned that holiday.. LOL

My daughter is almost 12 now, she doesn't remember me going away, but she remembers the " crown" .

Hi M,

>'m starting to worry about how they'll cope without me....

When my kids were little, I would make a tape with 5 min talks to the kids about where I was, and what I was doing and leave it at home to be played to them each night.

((I))

I left my daughter little notes all over the house (on her mirror, in the drawer with her toothbrush, in her backpack. . . .) just telling her that we love her and to have a wonderful time with her grandparents while we were gone. I also did the gift thing -something to open every day we were gone to help "ease the pain." I also set up playdates in advance to give the grandparents a break and my daughter a fun afternoon with a friend. Don't worry - the kids will be fine (if it's anything like when we were little and my mom went out of town leaving us with dad we loved it - we got McDonalds and/or cereal for dinner!! What a treat!)

A friend of mine had a great idea - she made a booklet of their itinerary with pictures and stories about the places they were visiting for the grandparents to read to the kids every day so the kids could see what their parents were doing each day.

mebe - congratulations on taking this trip. i'm sure you will have a great time!

on the phone calls home, you will probably want to play it by ear. my boys have had different reactions each time my husband or i have been away. mostly, they are like JulieVikmanis' daughter - not all that interested in talking because, hey, they are having fun. but on one or two times we've been away, they've dissolved into tears when we called home. in those instances, we stopped calling because our phone calls made them (and us) terribly sad (though of course they were otherwise fine).

I finally have a moment to respond.

Okay, I think I got it:

1. write notes/postcards for daughter to read everyday. And a little gift for her to open.

2.only talk about how much fun she will have with Dad

3. give DH detailed daily schedule to help him get through the day

4. call often but do not promise a time or day. Talk to DH and maybe to daughter, but not at bedtime

5. Bribe with promise of gifts.

6. Stop feeling guilty about "abandoning" the kids because they won't remember it anyway. :)

Did I forget something?

This is probably a subject for another post or researching past posts -- but with all this calling, do I need to bring my cell phone? Will an internation phone card be enough?

Thanks again!
~M.

One reason to bring along a spouse!
I trained mine early. He understands the importance of me and my first cup of coffee!

It was actually very nice. In Como last year he would get up early, search for a nice cafe and bring back a pastry and coffee for his wife who liked to sleep in....

I wish my Hubby could come with me, but someone has to watch the kids.

And I am looking forward to being solo for the first time, in a very long time.

Mine also makes my coffee in the morning. A very good quality in a man :)

Can't add to the great suggestions you've already gotten. Just wanted to give you one word of caution:

Don't be surprised if your daughter and/or twins are "mad" at you when you return. My son has a hard time whenever I leave him (even as he gets too old for that now). When he was five, we went on a business trip to Paris and my parents took care of the kids. When they met us at the airport upon the return, our son showed no excitement and basically "dissed" us at first. I was so disappointed as you look forward to those reunions. But I realized that he just wanted me to know that he was mad at me. It passed within hours....but check your expectations.

mebe,

Good suggestions from all posters before me. I especially agree with txtree--don't be upset/offended if your kids don't want to talk to you when you call. I often travel solo internationally for business (well, pleasure the last time), and sometimes my kids were like that.

Your older one may understand there are different countries in the world. You can roughly brief your daughter where you're going ("Mommy is going to a place called Italy. I'm going to take two planes, and will be on the airplane for almost a whole day"), and tell her what kind of things you expect to see (something a young child can relate to). You can put a sticker in a plastic placemat with a world map.

I also try to bring some food and cook for the family upon return, so that they can "share" your experience.

As for a more practical side, what I found useful were:

* think of lining up a back-up help (relatives, friends) in case your husband needs some help.

* excellent idea about writing down routines, things-to-do list, playmate list, etc. I try to make things as easy as possible--cooking and freezing casseroles, soup, dinners etc.

* make sure you call your husband to let them know your flights arrived safely. Rent a mobile (if yours don't work in Europe) so that there's a way they can call you in case they need to. (In my last trip, my son cut his chin badly and needed a stitch. I was really tempted to cut my trip short, but DH handled very well, also thanks to a nurse friend who provided assurance.)

And most importantly, enjoy the trip!

I forgot about being mad.

I have a trip calendar on the fridge that has my day-to-day stuff written down. I think I'll make one for DH and write down which days are preschool days, the day G'ma is coming over to help, the day he can go visit his parents,....and then my daughter can help him put and "x" through each completed day. I did that for her when he had to go away for a week, and she seemed to like that.

I think I will have to bring my cell phone and get on of those internationsl SIM cards. I know nothing about using cell phones internationally -- time to start researching!

Just go.

The more you make of it, the more miserable everyone will be.

Tell them you're leaving, you're coming back, and that you'll miss them.

Then say Goodbye and go.

Send a postcard.

Your family will get along just fine without you for a week.

I have babysat my nephew several times while his parents have taken trips, starting when he was 18 months (he is almost 4 now). My sister also has him a lot on her own while her husband travels for business.

My nephew doesn't handle phone calls from his parents so well when they're gone. The calls make him sad and he would say over and over (for at least an hour) "I want my mommy" after he got off the phone with them. If he didn't know they called, he was perfectly fine.

Even when my sister was home with my nephew while my BIL was traveling, he would become upset (sad) when his dad called to talk to him.

So while on your trip I would try speaking with your husband first and see if he thinks she would be ok with talking with you. The next time you call you can ask him how she handled it after getting off the phone with you.

But don't worry, your family will be ok. Enjoy your trip.

oops, didn't clarify - by "she", I was meaning your daughter, who you said already seems sad about your trip.

You can give your daughter her own picture of you to have when you're gone. Also show her a picture of her (and the twins also!) that you will be taking with you.

Myra:

Think of it this way, if you will....the step you're about to take is a most sensible one (it's part a necessary health insurance program, for you!)...it will go a long way in getting your children to understand that there are times when their daddy or mommy (or both) will be going away on a trip to Europe/Asia/SA/ etc.

(***To balance the scales, over we also took the kids on family trips around the country, even an eight week camper trip, L.A. through the midwest, south, Washington DC, New England and Montreal Expo in '67)

We did this from the time the kids were in preschool, grammar school and on into later years...now they are all grown and married with children of their own, and are all doing the same thing. We "used" grandparents, aunts, mature recommended sitters, and also had some reciprocal agreements with friends that all turned out very well, etc.

It's going to seem like a natural and expected thing to your children as they get older, rather than spring it on them when the oldest is a pre-teen. Be prepared, she may even cheer at that time!

Go, and enjoy every minute...fretting about the kids won't help at all....we'll be thinking good thoughts about you, knowing from vast experience that all will turn out well...they'll cope...you'll cope!

Just keep thinking...Italy solo for a week...yahooooo!

stu t.

Yes, to Chepar (and others earlier on who commented on this). The 'phone call home from Mommy thing' is a real mixed blessing. It can leave BOTH parties feeling shaken if it doesn't go really well.

You already have lots of great advice, but from one mom to another (and a mother of 3 too) I'd like to pass along some advice from my FIL. He always says the second you get home, "it is like you never left." In truch, it is such a blip in their busy little lives, but a lifetime memory for you. Enjoy! I think it is great you are doing that.

I always leave my kids pictures of me and my DH to look at while we are gone. They are older now though and can count the days. I make a little chain for them and they rip off a piece each day. Each day they read about a fun surprise or activity from us. It might be fun for your almost 4 year old.

Good luck!

Hubby and I read all the posts last night over a glass of wine.

I think my daughter will be fine. It might even be good for her and help her bond more with Dad (she is very much a "mama's girl" )

Thanks again for all the great ideas. I always feel more relaxed when I feel prepared.

~M.