Fodor's Travel Talk Forums - HOW MUCH SHOULD I TIP THE PILOT

Fodor's Travel Talk Forums (https://www.fodors.com/community/)

- Europe (https://www.fodors.com/community/europe/)

- - HOW MUCH SHOULD I TIP THE PILOT (https://www.fodors.com/community/europe/how-much-should-i-tip-the-pilot-118468/)

Guys: Be kind. It's not so easy to be a pilot. I just received this from a pal who is going through the first of three days of intensive training at Aeroflot - a crash-course in being a pilot (oopps..unfortunate turn of phase!). RULES OF THE AIR: > 1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. 6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. 7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. 8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again. 9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself. 10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi > to the ramp. 11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa. 12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier. 13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. 14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made. 15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are. 16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck. 17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them. 18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be. 19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. 20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment. 21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible. 22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed. 23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to appeal. 24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

To Cute If all you need is a tip from the pilot, I'd like to meet you! To Ger, that was hilarious. Ever wonder why they call it the cockpit? Isn't that the room where they have all of their parties?

I think the English way is best - that is, have a 'whip-round' for the pilot To do this take a hat(if you can find one on the plane),and pass the hat back and forth along the seats, suggesting everyone put in some money.As you leave, give the money to the pilot and say "Have a pint on us mate" If he doesn't understand the phrase, take the money back and use it for a pint for yourself.

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time... you guys rule!!!

Art, Re: "Ever wonder why they call it the cockpit?" You made me think of a joke I haven't heard in a million years... Let me just say it had to do with the pilot(s) being female and choosing to call the cockpit more appropriately the "Box Office"... Ok. now, where were we?

Are you really serious about tipping the pilot???? Don't they get paid enough? Do you really think that they, the pilots, are going to fly the aircraft any better w/a monetary tip? Just one more thing, I've been to Europe/Asia a few times & have NEVER heard of this practice.

Jen You're not serious are you??! Please tell me you saw the humour and sarcasm in all these answers!

Too much fun not to top

Not only is the 'passing the hat' among the passengers a much-appreciated gesture, but singing "three cheers for the plane driver" upon landing is just top-notch. I find pressing a few coins into the flight attendants' hands as I exit the plane gets me a hearty thank you. And nothing says "I appreciate you" like something home-made, such as a macrame plant hanger or a drawing of my hand decorated to look like a turkey. I always carry a few things I made in my pottery class just in case... A couple of practical jokes keeps everyone loose, like banging on the cockpit door, yelling "I've got a bomb out here!", then collapsing into gales of laughter when the door opens (the other passengers appreciate the humor, too) is just one idea. And, Ger, that list is so past funny I can't speak...it's been passed to the Loons...

Don’t leave a tip. Just leave a note in a seat pocket (*not your own*) saying you’ve left a surprise concealed somewhere on the plane. The airline people LOVE a good scavenger hunt.

Don't leave just a tip, leave the whole thing.

To all the woderful people on this site: Oh thank you all for all your helpful answers. The reason I asked this question was that every time I take an airplane ride I notice the staff--that is the pilots and the flight attendants-- always line up at the exit when we land--and smile so nicely and say bye bye and have a nice day and I think maybe they are looking for a tip. Bewildered Babs

Everyone ... Thanks! I needed a good laugh today and just about everyone who has replied gave it to me. To Bored ... Get a life or at least a sense of humor. DFW 4/25/01

*ROTFLMAO*!! I finally got around to reading this thread, and thanks for the laughs!! A lot of clever & creative people here.

Excuse me??? The pilot (m/f) is doing his job and the airliner is paying his salary every month.

I am still laughing from this one. If you hear of a flight attendant on an AA flight to London in June being upended -- it was me:)

Man, I am so sick of all you deadbeats. Do you have any idea how much work it is to haul your complaining asses back and forth to Europe all the time? Geez, I have to file flight plans, gas this sucker up, check the oil, and then try to get this multi-ton puppy up in the sky. And then all I hear is your bitching about the food, the room, the fat person next to you, the bumpy ride, and on and on. Sometimes I wonder if the lousy 120 grand a year I am making for working one week a month is worth it. You people have no idea, no idea at all about what I go through just so you can take some piddly-ass vacation to Europe. Yes, a small tip would be greatly appreciated, as I could use that money to help make my Porsche payment.

Sorry Bobby, you'll need that extra for Olivia's braces..

Excuse me, but which ex are you? Number 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5....hard to keep em all straight.

Captain Bob, please refer to your ALPA code of conduct for rules relating to media contact, including postings to internet chat rooms and similar venues. It’s important that we keep our opinions of tourist class pax out of the public eye, since increasing numbers of those people may own shares in mutual funds, which might contain sizeable positions in our employers’ companies, with clear implications to our own portfolios. However strongly you might feel regarding in-flight gratuities (again, please refer to our recently negotiated contract with your carrier, which covered this topic extensively under “incentive pay,”) all public-consumption comments on this topic must be cleared in advance with your bargaining unit steward. I don’t need to remind you that it’s not only your Porsche payment, but also the Porsche, Mercedes, and sailboat payments of over 50,000 union members, that are on the line here. Discretion, Brother Bob.