Cindy, keep his nose up where? <BR>

Generally, depending on the quality of the flight, meal, etc., I put the appropriate tip in the small bag located in the seat pocket in front of me and then hand it to the flight attendant as I leave the airplane.

This is the point.Over 20 people have responded to this post.The very same people who pretend to be "fodorites" are the same using phony names answering foolish posts.Some actual travel questions have just a few responses .Very soon the only people who will be using this site will be the"small" handful of people who don't have anything else to do.

Has anyone noticed that the most bitter people on the planet are those who don't know how to join in the fun?

Well don't I feel scolded. <BR> <BR>Back to tipping: <BR> <BR>Do not forget to tip for the magazines on the flight. Many people overlook this and it's a real insult to the flight attendants. Count the number of pages you read and tip one cent per page. Ripped pages get only one-half cent, and pages stuck together with that disgusting unknown substance get no tip at all. I typically use pennies and just toss them in where the magazines are. The flight attendants always give me a special look to say thanks. <BR> <BR>If I took the magazine from the first class section as I walked through on my way back to cattle class, I usually add any foreign change I have on me to the tip because it somehow seems more sophisticated. <BR> <BR>Finally, when you've just landed and arrived at the gate, and you are watching the luggage handlers, you should tip them too. If you see one do a particularly good job throwing a suitcase across the tarmac, shove a few times into the frame around the window. It's a little-known fact that luggage handlers search window frames every night.

Only the tipsy need to tip. And they should tip 15% of flight cost to each of the two flight attendants serving their seat, and 15% to each passenger directly in front, in back, to the left and to the right of their seat, who no doubt bore the brunt of their drunken behavior. An optional 10% may go to a third attendant, if any.

This thread certainly does show how ingenious people on this Forum are. I love it when a subject such as this with such humor gets going. Keep up the good work!

Lovethis: I love this post too! One of my favorites....please keep it flying??? Judy :-D

Hah! Another trick question. You do not tip the pilots. If you do, the gypsies will see you pull the money out of your money belt beneath your crispy suit. They will then wave a newspaper under your nose and steal your yummy on flight meal. Nice try!

My method works wonders. After I have taken my seat in economy class, I pull the flight attendant aside, discreetly pull a $1 bill out of my fanny pack so I'm sure she sees it ($5 for international), and say: "If you can keep those peanuts coming, baby, there will be a little something special for you after the flight." I then wink at her, turn my baseball cap to the side, and walk back to my seat. I ALWAYS get an extra pack of peanuts, and they typically bring me a meal that they take special care to point out was prepared by them "just for me."

I only tip the pilot if he's sober

Myself, I think the most important thing is to tip the reservations agent. I always ask for his/her name and address, and promise to send them a little something once I get back. I figure someday, I'm going to have to ask for special arrangements, and they'll have me on their list of people who have mailed them tips. Of course, it also means I can call them at 3 a.m. when I'm still waiting to board a flight that has a "75% on-time record." <BR> <BR>(BTW "bored" -- I post under my real name for real questions, and I use the "real" travel information I get here quite a bit. But sometimes it helps to diffuse some of the tension of traveling to share some of this silliness. It's part of the camaraderie of a travel forum, which you obviously have no use for. So be it. But go away.)

Is pilot-tipping a new sport, now that we have lost so many cows?

Hey I got a tip for the flight crew... don't eat yellow snow...

Since these flight crew people spend so much time away from home, I find they like a taste of home...like some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, or hot McDonald's fries and a Big Mac.Amaxing how long those things stay warm if you keep them under your blouse in one of those hidden-money-belt thingees.

If its Lufthansa though, bring bratwurst or knockwurst, If Air France bring Crepes, etc. <BR>

You people tip actual money? Honestly. What am I going to do with you? <BR> <BR>I save up my old undies and leave these under the last row of seats. That way, the flight crew saves money because they can bypass Victoria's Secret. A win-win for all involved.

I think this post has been the funniest I've seen in a bit. (My thanks to almost everyone.) <BR> <BR>Dear Bored: I might know your type -- don't comprehend that others can be clever and creative. (Your loss.) <BR>

I find it helpful to tip the pilot with a gripping novel so that he doesn't get bored during the flight. Flight Attendants also love a good read, it makes anyone's heart glad to see the pilot and flight crew perusing an A+ novel while aboard a long, difficult trans-Atlantic crossing.

Last time I tipped a flight attendant was when she leaned against the toilette door keeping the throngs at bay while we joined the mile high club...come to think of it, I tipped my husband too!!