How do you say "I'm engaged" in German/Italian?
 

I'm engaged and going to be travelling with a friend this summer, to Austria and Italy, and just wondering how to say "I'm engaged" in these languages. I spent 6 months living in France, and had the occasional extremely persistent Frenchman trying to talk with me, so I figured it would be good phrase to know so I can just walk away without seeming too rude. I know I can flash the ring, but the phrase would probably be good to know as well.
Thanks for your help!
-Abbynicole

"bugger off, creep" would probably work.

Sorry, I can't imagine what made me say that. Must be the St. Patrick's Day Guinness talking.

I prefer to just ignore them completely, but I thought maybe knowing I was taken would be an extra discouragement. Unless they're completely creepy and persistent I'd rather not swear at them.

I'd like to venture a guess as a tribute to my high school Italian teachers, 30+ years ago ...

Sono fidanzata

I defer to the native speakers on this board.

I'm not a native speaker, but I concur with DonnieD. For Germans, try "Ich bin verlobt."

And you think saying "I'm engaged" is going to work ???

Any hot blooded male worthy of chasing after your seductive charms would certainly not let a phrase like that that deter them (ask me ! :))

However, " You must come and meet my wrestler husband back at the hotel " might better do the trick. (And thats not coming from any personal experience ... ;) )

Italian: Sono agganciato

German: Ich werde engagiert

Mathieu, You're too funny.

I do agree though. I'm engaged might be just a challenge. How about a simple but consistent "no thank you"?

Brisbanite, where did you get that? Agganciare means to engage in the sense of engaging the enemy in battle or to be physcially linked like railway cars, but I've never heard it applied to being engaged to be married.

How about "Ho una malattia " (I have a disease)?

Just tell the Casanova that your husband or fiancee is a famous Boxer..

If you just say Sono Fidanzata , the guy may reply :so What, I am also Fidanzato..

Hi abbynicole, may I gently suggest that if you are mature enough to be engaged you are mature enough to ignore or get rid of any "romeo" without having to explain anything.

And why worry abuout being rude to some man who is being rude to you?

Dress with dignity, act with dignity, be aware of your surrondings etc. and ignore anyone who is coming on to you in an inappropriate way. Body language etc. can actual communicate more then knowing a comment in a foreign language.

Have a fun and safe trip!

I'm another in the "just say no" school of thought. Here's my reasoning... Stopping to chat and explain you are engaged, have a boyfriend or husband, blah blah blah, is basically just making further conversation (and possibly eye contact or giving off body language) with this man who you are supposedly not interested in.

Secondly, I'd think twice about "flashing" valuable jewelry when traveling.

If you say "Ich bin verlobt", (Im engaged) his answer usually would be: "Gehen wir zu mir oder zu dir?" :-)

Thank you for the advice - I am mature enough to handle it - I did when I was in France last time.
I certainly don't encourage conversation with strangers (actually, I'm an introvert, so I HATE talking to strangers), but unfortunately my inate Canadian politeness gives me difficulty in completely ignoring someone who is trying to talk to me.
So, I just figured if I just say "I'm engaged", that will satisfy my (slightly obsessive) fear of being rude, and I can just ignore them completely after that, like I usually do.
So, what I'm getting is Sono fidanzata and Ich bin verlobt ?
Thanks for the help,
-Abbynicole

@Brisbanite

"Ich werde engagiert" is:
Im getting the job

Wonder what his answer would be?

Oh and Suze - thank you for the advice about jewellery - I wasn't sure on that one either. Should I maybe leave it at home?

abbynicole, rather then wearing your no doubt beautiful engagement ring to Europe why don't you think about buying an inexpensive gold wedding band.

That way you will not have the worry of something happening to your engagement ring and the Romeos out there will think you are married.

Some single women do this. Have a fun and safe trip!

German and Austrian women usually don't have diamond engagement rings like in America. So there is a good chance an American engagement ring will have no impact.

Most educated Germans and Austrians speak some English; in fact I am constantly amazed at how much they know. For example, our waitress in a restaurant in Munich turned out to be highly fluent once she got over her reluctnce to speak English with us. She became downright chatty.

German phrases like Lass mich in Ruhe. might work. Ich möchte nicht weiter mit Ihnen sprechen." could work. But that implies some knowledge the language.
If you get more conversation, what do yo do then?

I would simply say it in English, like Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you.

Saying you are engaged is not going to slow up a real jerk one bit. Neither is anything else except to clear out.

My reaction is that you would have to put yourself in a position to be approached, and I have generally observed that on the street no one is going to impede your progress.

So just where do you plan on being to attract men so that they can approach you and talk to you?

But flashing a ring is not going to work one whit in my estimation for several reasons. First, it might not be recognized for what it is in America. Secondly, the guy might not care whether you are engaged or not.

In Italy, good luck. A married man could well figure you are his next affair mate. A 62 year old friend of mine, single all her life, finally got tired of some persistent Italian joker and jabbed him in the ribs with her umbrella. He got the message.

bob_brown, the old umbrella in the ribs! I love it. When I was in my 20's and in SF I had more then one occassion when I did exactly that! It really works. There is nothing more lethal than an umbrella. Thanks for bring back a funny memory.

I was also thinking that the phrase "I'm engaged" could give the impression that if you weren't you might be interested... all that does is create a challenge!

Hi abby,

In Italian, "Va via" (Go away)

In German, "Gay Veg" phonetic spelling for "Go away".

In both countries, best said loudly and with a look of contempt.

((I))

Ok, thanks for the advice guys.
Bob_Brown - it does happen. I remember once when I was in Paris and walking from the metro up to Sacre Coeur in Montmartre, this guy just fell in beside me and started asking where I was from, if I was going up to Sacre Coeur. He wasn't being rude or creepy, but it was clear he was interested, and though I speak French pretty much fluently, I had no idea how to deal with it. I usually just completely ignore the creeps on the metro, etc. but according to my ingrained Canadian sense of politeness, he wasn't saying anything offensive, so I had trouble just saying "go away". I wouldn't look at him, barely ever answered him, and he followed me all the way to Sacre-Coeur, where I finally lost him in a crowd.
Now, I learned from that experience, and now I don't answer questions from strange men, even if they're non-creepy looking.
My body language was not inviting conversation, I was not looking at anyone, but he still tried talking to me anyways - so it does happen.
Anyways, I guess if saying "I'm engaged" will not help (as you all seem to be saying), then I will just go back to ignoring them.
Thank you,
-Abbynicole

Hi abby,

>..I will just go back to ignoring them.

Good idea.

I really think that's the best and most straight forward tactic (ignore).

As for the ring, if you wear it ALL the time and truly never take is off (even for sleeping, washing hands, etc.) it might be alright on your trip. As I'm guessing no one will steal it off your hand. But I'd be more worried about it getting misplaced or an accident of some kind (down the drain, falls behind a dresser and can't be found) like seems to happen more when we're "on the road" then it would at home.

LOL, this has been such a hoot to read :D
abbynicole, I have been wearing a wedding ring for many years now, and here in the US as well as in Europe-it does not make a bit of difference if a man wants to flirt. Ignoring them is the best advice, being rude back if they don't take the hint is good too.
I like the idea of the umbrella in the ribs..or an elbow if you have to.
I think men everywhere are the same in this respect, they are going to try- you just have to let them know they have No Chance :)

I suggest you ENJOY all that "attention" you may be getting. Take it from me, it will NOT last forever and suddenly you'll wonder where it went (and perhaps how to get it back).

>In German, "Gay Veg" phonetic spelling for "Go away".

"Geh weg" sounds strange. He might not understand.

"Hau ab" (How up) means "go away"
"Verpiss dich" (furpiss dish) means pi.. off.

Just tell them your a lesbian with HIV,Herpes syphylis and a gangrene leg.
If that doesn't work (there are some strange blokes out there) kick him in the balls.

Good Luck

Muck

Dear Abby,

I have done some traveling alone both on business and pleasure and I always wear my wedding ring. I am happy to have polite conversation with people I meet, both men and women. If a man seems to be getting other ideas, I let him know that I am married. A decent man will be deterred by that, but a very persistent man will be even more motivated by it. The way a bad guy sees it, if you are traveling without a man, then you are fair game. If you meet such a guy, you should just tell him no, and you don't have to say it nicely.

Some men whatever nationality feel almost honour bound to make the effort to chat you up but don't let it spoil your holiday. I wouldn't be rude to anyone myself, just say you're engaged or whatever but sound like you mean it and avoid eye contact. Pretty sensible I think getting this kind of phrase in your head just in case, anyway I hope you and your friend have a wonderful time.

Please allow me to clarify what I said about not saying it nicely. I am referring to situations where he just isn't taking no for an answer, or doesn't care if you are already attached. I was in Santa Fe on business a few years ago and a guy approached me at a restaurant. I let on right away that I am married, but that only seemed to encourage him since DH wasn't there. At first I politely declined his offer but he didn't go away. He even commented that my husband should not allow me to travel alone. At that point I got a little nasty and told him that he's wasting his time and to please go away. That did it.

I agree with previous posts about not engaging at all in conversation with would-be pursuers. I used to live and work in Italy and it didn't matter that I am married with a band on my finger or not. If you strike up a conversation which turns to him being interested (and they all more or less end up like this) I have found I simply must cut off the conversation entirely and go about my business.

I adore Italy, along with all my Italian friends, and have been told more than once by them that I am encouraging a male I'm speaking with, even when I think it's completely innocent. I don't have supermodel looks and still I receive more than my share of pick-up lines.

To generalize, and I don't like to do that, flirting men are not going to care if you're engaged, married, have a boyfriend back home, whatever. It's all about the pursuit. Just ignore anyone that you don't want to encourage.

Be firm. Be strong. You can get through this. :D

I usually ignore the Casanova and keep walking with my head up and a very boring snobbish expression on my face..
If that does not works then I go to plan B..stop, talk but explain that you are late for an appointment, however, you would love to meet him somewhere later..
The Casanova is happy to meet you later, his ego is not bruised , and will leave you alone..of course,you will not go to the rendez vous unless he is Fabio or a gorgeous (FUSTO)Hunk.:)
It used to works for me all the time when I was a teenager growing up in Rome.

I truly think not speaking at all, not a word (maybe wave your hand in a "no" gesture too) is the best way if someone has approached you, even if they seem like a nice guy or not creepy whatever.

As far as the example abbynicole gave about being followed across town, I suggest in this situation you get off the street by entering someplace (a cafe, shop, grocery store, hotel lobby). Doubtful the man would follow you, or wait for you to come out, like he felt free to do as you continued walking on the street.

ttt a humorous and useful thread!

Puts you out of the scope of people who want a serious answer to their questions. Too bad for you :-)

Thank the man for his attention and tell him with a big smile that you are not in the mood for company.

Most of the time they are so stunned by the answer that they leave and even apologize!

I think it's a pursuit game that everyone plays happily in Italy. I remember meeting some Italian girls who carried a collection of name cards that guys gave them with custom printed messages praising their beauty on the backside. The more beautiful the girl the more cards she got naturally.