Have your co-workers/family/friends quit showing interest in your trips to Europe after you came back from your first trip?
 

My family/friends/co-workers have quit showing any sort of interest in our trips to Europe after my husband and I took our first trip together in October 2001. After that one, everyone asked how my trip was and wanted to see pictures.<BR><BR>Now, getting ready to go on our fifth trip since then, nobody even asks where I'm going. If they do ask, their response is &quot;Oh.&quot; No questions, no interest, nothing. And nobody really cares to hear about our trips or see the pictures once we come back. <BR><BR>My husband and I feel incredibly lucky to be able to take these trips and are not trying to throw it in anyone's face. We have such a wonderful time and are on such a high after we come back that we can't help wanting to talk about our experiences. But nothing brings down a vacation high like disinterested family, friends, and co-workers.<BR><BR>Is it because they don't have any interest in ever going to Europe? My husband has noticed that when people at his work say they are going on a cruise or to Cancun for vacation, those people get lots of responses and questions and everyone wants to see pictures. Is it because Europe, for most people, is still that once in a lifetime trip and going more that once is &quot;cheating&quot; in some way ?<BR><BR>What do y'all think?<BR>

Windy,<BR>We try to travel often and take at least 2 trips/year, mainly because we can cash in our FF miles. I noticed that some people (usually those who don't travel or or who would rather spend their money of enormous TV set) never show much interest in our adventures. I think it is a combination of things: envy, ignorance and lack of interest in visiting other places. I don't think that people view Europe as once-in-a-lifetime-luxury, it's just that going to EU is, possibly, more work than simply lying on the beach somewhere. <BR>Don't get discouraged and try to form relationships with people who share similar interests. After all, you can always post your trip report on Fodors and receive plenty of responses!<BR>Cheers,<BR>Katie

I've found that most travellers overwhelm their audience with too many photos, too many anecdotes, too much detail. A little is interesting, but even though I like to travel and share my experiences when I return home, I know I get bored looking at photo after photo of buildings, churches, mountains when I haven't been to that place. I've learned to keep my &quot;sharing&quot; to 15 minutes max. Once you've bored someone to tears, they are going to be hesitant to mention your trips in the future.

Windy - I've had much the same reaction as you to by trips abroad, the first time I went everyone wanted to know about it and now they could care less. <BR>At least there is Fodor's where everybody is travel obsessed and you can 'talk' about your experiences till you're blue in the face!

In response to Rufus' comment, we always make a powerpoint presentation out of our &quot;highlight&quot; pictures that we send to our friends and family. <BR><BR>Each picture has a caption/info and the whole thing can usually be flipped through in 2-3 minutes at a person's own pace and convenience.<BR><BR>It's enough to share, and if someone wants to see more they will ask.<BR><BR>I find that my friends who aren't as well off financially and can't afford the trips (I've only been to Europe once myself but travel all over quite frequently) tend to be the ones who don't ask. These are people I have known since before I was married and in a financial situation to be able to go on these types of trips. They have said they are envious of my freedom to go (no kids) and most of them never travel. I just don't bring it up with them for the most part. Not saying I avoid conversation about my trips, I just don't blurt it all out to them.<BR><BR>I do most of my sharing with my family who has traveled extensively. I agree with Katie12 to find people who share your interests. After all, why bother sharing if the people don't appreciate or gain anything from it? It's just not some people's cup of tea, so to speak.

Windy... So true, so true. We travel quite a lot, don't spend a fortune, drive an older car, don't remodel my house on a monthly basis. Travel is my priority but people get annoyed. I no longer announce my trips, I just tell everyone at the last minute I'm going. My friends who do a lot of traveling participate in my excitement, some other people don't even say &quot;have a nice trip&quot;. I make a fuss over people who travel, love to look at their pictures and compare experiences. But then some people travel and have no recollection of the places they've visited. It takes all kinds...

Um, how do I say this kindly? We don't travel in order to tell other people about the trip. That's not what it's for, as far as we're concerned. I wait until asked, and use this board to re-live the trips if I need to!

Blondie,<BR>That's exactly what my husband does - makes a powerpoint presentation. It takes a while for him to get it together though, so the trip is almost a memory by the time it's done so it's a nice presentation for us to view as well!<BR>We get lots of compliments on putting the pics together that way, and my elderly relatives seem to appreciate that type of thing sooo much.<BR><BR>I have only gone to Europe one time, and that was recent, so I don't have quite the experience as you do Windy.<BR><BR>I do travel with my husband for work a lot and to some nice destinations on the west coast and Hawaii, which drums up some green from my friends. They seem to overglamorize the trips in their heads, until I've broken it down on how it's not that easy trying to manage a house (bills, pets, maintenance of living in a forest, dry cleaning, etc.) and packing before you're finished unpacking from the last trip. I wouldn't trade it, but it's no cakewalk.<BR><BR><BR>

Some of the people I know are very interested in home renovation, their granchildren, sailing, singing lessons, or any one of a number of things that don't particularly interest me. I figure that if I don't have to feign great interest in those things, they don't have to feign great interest in my travels. We're just interested in different things, and it doesn't bother me as long as they don't make gratuitous negative remarks (which, generally speaking, they don't). Maybe I'm just insensible, but it doesn't bother me. I share travel talk with the people I know who do love to travel, but even if I didn't have them, I'd keep traveling happily.

We have been very fortunate on travel, especially to Europe. Probably been there over 25 separate trips. <BR><BR>Friends that have never been really never want to go and have little interest in our trips. Therefore we do not discuss with them. Other traveling friends like to compare notes and tips for the next trip. That is fun.<BR><BR>We never drag the photos out. Most people do not want to go through them so we keep for our own enjoyment.<BR><BR>Bottom line: You are correct. Some people will be content to live their life watching &quot;reality&quot; TV and never going anywhere. Big screen TV and lots of beer is a great evening. No need to discuss your trip with these morons. Just go to Fodors and have fun. We all need the help to plan the next trip.

I like to put my trip pics/mementos into a scrap book, and then show that... so they don't have to look at 399 photos! However, I got an interesting reaction from two of my co-workers, after showing them my scrapbook for Scotland...<BR><BR>One said &quot;wow, looking at these pics makes me want to go!&quot;<BR><BR>The other said &quot;wow, now I've seen these pics, I don't have to go myself!&quot;<BR><BR>What a difference in attitude! It takes all kinds... some people simply aren't into seeing other places, meeting other people, absorbing different cultures. Those that do, we meet here! :D

Windy, I have found the friends most interested in discussing our upcoming trips are those that have been there before and want to share their experiences. Same with trips just taken. Everyone likes to tell about their favorite experiences...and I like to listen because I learn so much about what to do/not do. With my immediate family, who do not travel, I keep it short. They like getting postcards, and I always bring something small back for each and tell where I found it, then show a few pictures--and then we start to talk about our mutual interest....dogs!

I tend too be be a fairly quiet person and don't bring my travels up unless it's semi relevent.. too me it seems that people think I'm throwing it in thier face. but of course some of my frainds get mad that I don't share enough or that I remember insidents in my travels months after comming back home &quot;oh yah I've been too luxenberg&quot; <BR><BR>WINDY there may be something with the fact that you've been to europe a bunch of times.. maybe too your frainds the pics and stories kind of seem the same.. ,Maybe on your next trip go bungee jumping and take pics of silly things.. <BR><BR>for some reason I have way too many pics of toilets. and garbage.. but people tend to laugh at those and are willing too sift threw the rest of the more &quot;boring&quot; pics.. <BR><BR>OR maybe theid be more intersted if yoiu where going somewhere more exotic .. Europe is basicaly a MUCH better USA.. a story about playing black jack with wome Bedawin women in Chad may get your frainds more excited..:)<BR><BR>

Sorry, but I don't thik that everybody who isn't interested in travel is some kind of narrow-minded jerk, any more than everybody who isn't interested in philosophy, or anthropology, or classical music, or Asian history, or law, or astrophysics, or medical ethics, or is a jerk. There's a lot out there in the world, but not all of it is travel....

Windy, I totally know what you are talking about. With me it started about 20 years ago, after my first trip to Europe. I showed my photos to one of my best friends and he said &quot;All you got to show for your trip is a bunch a photos&quot;.<BR><BR>My parents have experienced the same kind of reaction over the past 20 years. They no longer show their photos.<BR><BR>After all these years I beleive that it has a lot to do with hidden jealousy. I no longer tell friends where I am going, and I don't talk about it when I get home unless they ask. My brother even snubs me. He doesn't give a damn about the fun times I had on my well deserved once-a-year vacations.<BR><BR>As for your husband, it has NOTHING to do with where you have vacationed. Co-workers who get all the breaks and promotions will also get attention when they show their vacation photos, even if they are the most boring photos ever taken. It is all just a popularity game. <BR><BR>Have fun on your adventures and don't bother with people who park on the couch and get attention for a trip to Disney World or something.

I agree with KT's comments. This is less about European travel and more about shared interests. If someone told you they went to a hockey game last night, and you weren't a hockey fan, you'd probably ask if they had fun, and maybe ask who won? But if you were a fan too, you'd ask who scored the goals, got the assists, about the penalties, etc, and would be happy if your friend gave you a play by play account of the game. Same with travel.

Interesting point, Nutella. Americans have to endure those nightly sports casts at the end of every local news broadcast every night of the year. I show my photos once, if at all.<BR>

Interesting point, Nutella. Americans have to endure those nightly sports casts at the end of every local news broadcast every night of the year. I show my photos once, if at all.<BR>

I don't know you Windy, but I know people like you. They yak on and on about their new cars, big house, great kids, wonderful trips, blah,blah,blah,yadda,yadda.<BR><BR>Perhaps I am cynical, and even harsh to bring up the notion that people legitimately DO NOT CARE! <BR><BR>The fact that you have gone on 5 trips in the past 2 and 1/2 years makes you unique in this economy, and perhaps people are a little envious of what you are able to do and are either interpreting or understanding your excitement as bragging. <BR><BR>I don't understand why the response from others around you would either contribute or take away from your travel experience. Focus on the wonderful experience that you were blessed to have with your husband, and less on forcing everyone else to pretend to be interested. <BR><BR>

Maybe it's a combination of all of the above? I know that family and friends have asked things like &quot;how can you afford to go to Europe? We've always wanted to do that!&quot; These are people who do as well as we do, financially, whci is certainly not well to do, but doing OK.<BR><BR>Then again, they have bought 2 new cars since the time I bought my last used late-model. People just lose sight of the fact that they don't *have* to buy a car whose payment matches their available monthly income. Or, maybe they just are more interested in their car than travel, where my priorities are different.<BR><BR>But mostly I think Nutella is right. If their priorities are different, then yeah, they aren't all that interested in vacation photos from Europe and don't know what to say besides &quot;looks nice&quot;. They've probably seen photos of Europe already and your's looks pretty much like those in the magazine, but without the ads. They don't have a frame of reference for what it was really like to be there. The breeze, the sounds (or the silence), the smells, the mood. <BR><BR>We mention the trip, say we're glad to be back (we're not!), and mention we have photos. We post them on a website. If we're asked, we show them or give the address. Mostly though, we keep them for ourselves. We can always tell each other the stories.

<BR>I agree with Rufusfirefly. Most people overwhelm with pics. etc. I don't even bother to talk about my travels abroad unless they bring it up and then ask to see pics.<BR>I also keep pics to a minimum taking only what I want to remember as something special.<BR>I am bored stiff looking at other peoples memories.

<BR>From a bit different persepective, we LIVE in Europe, and our friends/family don't really care about asking about the experience. So I've learned not to say anything about it unless asked.<BR><BR>We have never shown pictures/ videos - people don't ask. Its not that they are jealous, uneducated etc. They genuinely are not too interested just as I am uninterested in American Football.<BR>

Yes, people do tend to glaze over after a while.<BR>My husband and I did a 9 month RTW trip and after the initial &quot;How was it?&quot; and &quot;where was your favorite place&quot; they didn't really want to hear.<BR>Now when we travel for shorter periods it's about the same.<BR>We started a website while we traveled and we put our journals and photos online so I just email people when things are posted. They can look if they want. At least I have a wonderful &quot;virtual scrapbook&quot;.<BR>http://www.wired2theworld.com

Kristina, <BR><BR>How weird that you posted. I just stumbled on your site the night before last. I was looking for pictures of Tuscan towns and regions in a Google search and ended up on your site. Then I forgot to keep looking for pictures/idea on Tuscany and ended up reading almost all of your trip planning stuff and most of the Asia leg. And I wasn't even planning an Asia trip!<BR><BR>Thanks for putting that site together and I think I'll always envy that trip, or at least the smoother times.

Sometimes I feel a little hurt when I come back from a trip and want to share some memories and highlights with my friends and they seem so uninterested. I think when you have close friends you would be interested in how they spend their time.<BR>I am interested in their &quot;things&quot; usually only because they are doing it. One friend collects little objects and has little tales to go with the art of collecting. I would be totally bored with this, if she weren't my friend.<BR><BR>When I return from a trip nowdays, I tell people where I have been and if they ask questions I can go on as long as they like and when they start to snore I usually quit, lol.

I find it funny that this would be a posting, because the same thing happens to us...Travel, as well, is our priority and we do it as often as possible...Most times, we are lucky if anyone even asks how our holiday was...Which is fine I guess, but if they go, you have to pull out the red carpet..That is what bugs me...We do not travel for the response of others but it sure would be nice if someone would just be a little interested...I have learned to just be darn happy that we get to travel and sometimes don't even tell anyone we are going anywhere unless they ask...I never tell anyone until everything is booked and do not go on and on about it once I do say something...The best person to talk to about travelling, is another traveller.....

Sorry, couldn't help linking up your nom de plume and your &quot;problem&quot; -- are you, perhaps, too &quot;Windy&quot; about your trips? Do you realize that, boiled down, your post is &quot;people aren't interested enough in me&quot;?<BR><BR>Why is this a problem for you? And why does anyone care WHY your family/friends/co-workers (your &quot;audience&quot;?) isn't interested in your trips? <BR><BR>The point is, you've detected disinterest. Why would you press the point? You say &quot;nothing brings down a vacation high like disinterested family, friends, and co-workers.&quot; Sounds like all you want from them is help keeping your &quot;vacation high.&quot; Much as I love to travel myself, it wouldn't be a matter of envy or narrow horizons if I found the job of helping you keep your &quot;vacation high&quot; pretty annoying.<BR><BR>So, to address your real problem -- wanting to relive and prolong the trip -- be glad your husband went with you because you and he can talk all you want about it, and be glad there are travel boards like this one where others share your enthusiasms.

My picture albums are for my own use, and I don't &quot;bore&quot; people with them. I've found that friends usually ask, &quot;where all did you go this time&quot; mainly so if they've been to the same place they can turn the conversation to what THEY did there. Which is only logical -- as let's face it, who really wants to hear endless details about a place we haven't been to ourselves? Although I do have a few friends who sincerely want to know about places we've been to see if they might want to go there themselves.

Cassandra: My name is Windy, not a nom de plume. And no, I am not &quot;windy&quot; in my descriptions of travel to others.<BR><BR>I quit telling anybody about my trips after the second one. There was a lack of interest detected and I did not press upon anybody any details or pictures. As stated by another poster, and I agree, my pictures are for my own enjoyment, not anyone elses. And to respond to another poster, I do not &quot;yak, yak, yak&quot; about my exciting trips, beautiful new home (it's neither new nor beautiful but it is comfortable), new cars (which I don't have), and wonderful children (don't have any kids). <BR><BR>My &quot;problem&quot;, as you put it, comes from the fact that travelling is part of who I am. Things that we do and see and experience are all part of who we are, whether it is having a baby, remodeling your home, getting a promotion, volunteering for an event, etc. You want to share your experiences with others, just as others want to share theirs with you. It's all part of the give and take of human interaction and conversation. How should I respond when family and friends ask what I've been up to? Since I travel, that's what I've been up to. That's what I have to share. If they don't want to hear about it, well, the conversation turns to the weather and local news. Quite frankly, not as interesting in my opinion. And it makes for a very short conversation.<BR><BR>The main point of my orginal post was to see if others had experienced the same lack of interest from family, friends, and co-workers, in their travels as I had experienced. I was glad to see I wasn't the only one who had experienced this. I will take the advice of some of the posters and seek out clubs and organizations that focus on travel. And continue to visit Fodors!<BR><BR>Windy

I agree w/most everything on here. If you want to share your trip w/someone who cares, there is no better place than right here. It's all about priorities.

This is a very interesting topic. I have the same problem when I return from my trips to Europe. Most of the people I work with don't travel out of the state and don't want to. Actually the older I get the more I feel people really don't want to &quot;know&quot; about vacations, family or anyting else but their own life! I travel to get away from home things and see new things. I try not to tell any co-workers where I am spending my vacation time. I even ask my boss to cover for me! If perchance someone finds out where I have gone they act mad because they did not know! Who can figure! If they don't care then why do they act like they should have known?????

Cassandra, I hope you were just having a bad day instead of reflecting your normal self, but why did you have to jump on Windy? Your negative assumptions about her were uncalled for and totally out of line. You know nothing about her at all, yet feel free to chastise her for things she hasn't done. <BR><BR>I'm glad most of the group isn't like that. <BR>

Windy, sorry if I came down a little hard on you. I really do feel, however, that there is something out of balance when worrying about why others aren't interested in us and our activities becomes a matter of complaint. <BR><BR>There was a very similar post to yours a couple of years ago, and you will not be surprised to learn that the range of replies was similar to these. Also, I posted what I did partly because so many of the posts here were focusing on the shortcomings of the people you want to listen to you, and I wanted to pull the balance back. Perhaps I overstated it, but to put it another way, if you must have friends that are enthusiastic about hearing about your many travels, choose ones who travel also and let the others off the hook.<BR><BR>(Note, Austai -- if you check my other posts, you will find this is, indeed, not my normal style of posting, but at the time I posted, it seemed to me the responses were too much in the direction of criticizing non-traveling people for failing to be appreciative audiences. As I said, the prospect of having an audience is not my reason for traveling.)<BR>

Sounds as if a lot of people are eager to share their experiences with others who can appreciate their interests. I would love to be able to meet with others every once in a while and discuss past travels and future plans. Anyone interested in forming a travel club in Chicago area? There should be plenty of travelers out here...<BR>e-mail at [email protected]<BR>Cheers!

My close friends are still very interested in my travels, even after many trips to England, and I tell them lots of stories. My family is only mildly interested, so they get a very condensed version. If co-workers express interest, I talk about the trip, if not I don't. I usually take about 300 photos and then organize and post about 50 of them in a labeled album - not only does it allow others to look at them quickly, but they always say what great quality photos I took (they dont see the 250 bad ones).<BR>Maybe some lack of interest stems from an excessive amount of photos. I once asked to see a coworkers photos from Europe, and she said her husband was still putting them in albums, and was on #14; needless to say, I didn't ask again. While I love to travel and talk about it, I have a hard time looking at an excessive number of photos, poor quality photos, 10 shots of the same thing, and shot after shot of themselves in front of some landmark. <BR>Even people who like to travel tend to be interested in a specific type of travel. Maybe your type of travel just doesn't appeal to your coworkers. Disneyland and cruises don't appeal to me so I wouldn't ask about or expect details from other than my closest friends. As Patrick said, most people who do ask about my travels do so in order to tell me about theirs, and that's okay.<BR>I like the idea of making a powerpoint slide show of photos.

<BR>I too, find it amusing to have people turn your trip stories into their trip stories, sometimes one-upping you in the process, but these are not my closest friends but my co-workers. My previous boss used to turn green if he perceived I took a &quot;better, longer, more exciting&quot; trip than he did, so I would downplay them to keep peace. <BR><BR>

This really seems to be a basic issue of recognizing how much information people want. It applies to any issue. I certainly care when one of my friends has a baby, but having no kids myself, I have to say I really don't want to hear too much about breatsfeeding and diaper changing and eating habits. And, honestly, unless the kid does something really cute or interesting, each of the 300 baby pictures starts to look the same after the first 10. And, trust me, I LOVE my friends - and their kids. I wouldn't be too offended Windy, but do try to just not bother giving details to people who haven't caught the Europe bug themselves. If none of your friends are fellow Europe-addicts, save your stories for us. Fodorites love trip reports!

Jor- I don't think Cassandra was being particularly coldhearted. She is right. If people seem disinterested in what Windy had to say, why press on? People can express themselves, but they should consider their audience, and if they seem disinterested- you are basically making a nuisance of yourself by trying to force their &quot;interest&quot; and will make people run even faster in the opposite direction when they see you coming with the dreaded &quot;photo book&quot;. <BR><BR>I might not particularly care for what other people may find interesting, and I might look at their photos and listen to their stories because they are my friends/or I am being polite, but if one is CONSTANTLY talking about how their individual experiences, it would wear on the most patient of people.<BR><BR>It goes both ways. As a friend or co-worker, one should invest a polite interest in the happenings of others lives. However, that doesn't entitle one to provide an endless lecture with pictorial of their life events.

Actually - I have the opposite problem. I travel much more than most of my friends and they mostly deluge me with questions and &quot;next time you go I want to go, NEXT TIME YOU GO I WANT TO GO!!&quot; Some even buy enlargements of my photos (which I always thought was weird - I can't imagine wanting pictures of other peoples' trips). <BR><BR>But all the interest is what got me into a side business of teaching travel and packing courses at a local community college.

&quot;I don't think Cassandra was being particularly coldhearted. She is right. If people seem disinterested in what Windy had to say, why press on? &quot;<BR><BR>Where did you get the impression that Windy wants to press on and bore her co-workers, friends, et al? She's merely wondering if others here have the same experience she does.