Have any women traveling alone been approached by a gigolo?
 

Just got back from London and Paris and I think I met up with a gigolo. Have any other women traveling alone had this problem? Talk about a smooth operator. Luckily I was wise to him. charming as heck but had that gigolo mentality.

What was the gigolo mentality like? Is that something like a guy being approached by a hooker? ((a)) ((b))

I think it's quite common for Western women to be approached by men who profess an interest in romance but are actually interested in improving their immigration status, one way or another. That's practically like a gigolo.

Or could it just have been a man trying to get lucky.

And, what was the problem, again? >:O

NYCFS, LOL~

Madison, how could you tell? Did he ask or mention money right away? Sheesh! I thought that was mostly in Italy. I have seen some charming men in London and Paris but never got the feeling that they were gigolos, mostly just guys flirting like anywhere else in the world..
Do tell all the details :)

Yes, I am always getting approached by young gigolo types. I think it is amusing and don't take it as an insult.

We had some young guys come up to us this last trip and ask to show us "Amalfi by night", even they had to laugh when we said, "Amalfi by night? There is only one road in the whole town!".

Later, we actually became friendly with one of them and he turned out to be a nice young man and alot deeper than we originally thought with a dry sense of humor.

Re: <i>And, what was the problem, again?</i>

NYC, it's the same for us guys...we get really annoyed when women approach us for <i>that</i> kind of thing. :)

Scarlett -Where do I begin. I was approached by a man on Sloane Street where my hotel was. He was on his way to a Roberto Cavalli party, which was directly across from my hotel. When he spotted me he followed me until he caught up with me. ASked if I was Spanish I said no and thought to myself who is this nut? We talked for awhile and he asked me out for a drink and I said yes. I finally said I had to leave. He asked if he could call. I was pursued like I've never been pursued before. He took me places but one day when we went to lunch he said he lost his wallet (highly doubt it) so I ended up paying for lunch. He did reimburse me but something just didn't ring true about him. When I went to Paris he called me every day and since returning to Los Angeles we have communicated via phone and email.

When I asked what he did for a living he said at the moment he plays tennis at his club. That made me suspicious right there. He called in L.A. and said he wanted to visit me. I did not offer my place to stay and since then he hasn't brought up coming to L.A.

My friends (of course the jealous ones) say that he wants to become a citizen. He's already one in England where he has teenage children. Someone even went so far to say I think he could be with al Quaida and is trying to infiltrate this country through you (honest to God this was said to me.) Scarlett I have left out a lot of stuff because this message would get way too long and irritate most of the posters.

Whoa, Madison, that dude was a smoothe operator. Anybody feel a Sade song coming on???? :)

I've had maitre d's flirt with me - does that count? And one kissed me on the mouth when I was just trying to lean to kiss him on the cheek. He was very deft &amp; smooth. For the longest time I couldn't figure out WHY he would do that. I came to the conclusion recently that it must be because I make a lot of eye contact when talking.

I'm so glad I didn't have to experience what you went through, though. Poor dear.

Some of you girls are so lucky... sigh... :-)

I have to admit I did have a fun time with him, but like I said before something just didn't ring true about him. I guess just another one of life's experiences.

I guess I am naive in believing people can use, or try to use, other people. I guess my mind just doesn't go there.

Beatchick, same thing here, about the Sade song!

There's also, of course, her lesson-known French song, &quot;Louvre Operator&quot;...

He's laughing at that piece of art
And playing with another heart
Venus de Milo, Mona Lisa
All he wants is a U.S. visa

No need to ask
He's a smooth operator
Smooth operator, smooth operator
Smooth operator

:)

Sounds like you had a good time with him... so I wonder what the problem is...

Unless you have now a broken heart for having fallen in love with this man, Madison, he didn't really hurt you, did he?

Well, since none of you know who I am I can be honest, yes he did hurt me. Not to worry, no real hanky panky involved. But he pursued me, wooed me, said such wonderful things. I resisted him for the longest time, didn't return his calls, etc. But to think that maybe he didn't want to be with me just wanted to maybe get into this country or maybe just a free place to stay is kind of upsetting. I don't like to be used. I expect people to be up front and honest with me as I am with them and that just doesn't always happen.

Sure, I've been approached numerous times on the Amalfi Coast, it's a very common sport with the men of all ages. One need not take it too seriously.
A friend and I were also followed once in Florence for the better part of a day-including the guys following us in motorscooters when we tried to lose them by hopping on a bus! In Rome, I was hounded by a policeman believe it or not! So many stories, so little time. It's good not to let your heart get all twisted up like a pretzel,
sounds like you got a little involved..
I know several Italian men here who got here by romancing an American girl to get married.Some were sincere, not all.
Try to avoid getting too obsessed (says me!), keep your wallet locked, and don't sign anything! Otherwise, don't worry too much!
My second cousin married one of these guys years ago-she met him on a trip in Isreal-he was a British citizen. 2 months after they were married and living in Florida, Interpol came looking for him. She is a smart lady, but he had her fooled completely, so I think there is always that possibility, which I realize others might think is silly.
Take care, hope you don't break a heartstring!

Well, Madison, there're different types of people, personalities, and cultures... Some are upfront, some are sneaky, some are shy, some are outgoing, some are more, and others less confident, whether in themselves or others.

I suspected that your question wasn't really related to travel, but you wanted us to confirm your friend's suspects that this specific man was probably a gigolo and had no other interest in you than your your citizenship, or tell you that your friend's and your own suspects were wrong... and that he might have been (why not?) interested in you..

If you, at least, could treasure the nice memories, and let go the rest... I guess it's what I would do, if I were you.

&quot;I expect people to be up front and honest with me as I am with them and that just doesn't always happen.&quot;

Exactly. I was just thinking from your previous comment, Madison, that your mind doesn't automatically think someone is shafting you because YOUR mind doesn't work like that (you don't machinate to shaft someone). I think that's a good thing. :d It doesn't necessarily make you naive.

Capo, you KNOW I'm on the phone ((T)) over here; you made me SNORT over the phone. :o Louvre Operator, indeed!! 8}

I wonder how many lines she can answer at once????

You've all been so kind and supportive. Well, at least, I had enough common sense not to open up my home to him, nor to sign anything.

I think we have to pity these people as they are living one big lie and may come across some wonderful person who they will never appreciate (not necessarily me) I'll take my life any day over theirs.

Yes, I do treasure the fun part of it. He did show me a good time but I'm sure had a definite motive behind all of it.

Last year in Prague, I was approached by an Algerian man who somehow pursuaded me to take a walk through romantic Letna Park at night. I kept thinking &quot;this is stupid..he could mug me, or worse&quot;. Turned out he was harmless, but professed his love for me that very night!? He also said &quot;This is a miracle... I've always wanted to marry an American girl!!&quot; Of course, I began to suspect something was up...! I actually had lunch, as well as a drink with him the next day. He gave me a watch &amp; a rose, and told me that the next time I return, he would have something even more special - a ring! Well, I stopped answering my mobile phone, and got out of the country. End of story. :)

Yes, Madison, I think you were being naive. First of all, so called traveling romances, are usually just that, &quot;traveling&quot;, if you really thought something would come out of it, you were/are extremely naive.

Lost/forgot his wallet? Wow, he actually took the Gigolo 101 class!!!

No, I've never been approached by gigolos, but then again, when I travel especially alone, I don't advertise it and I certainly wouldn't let some strange man take me here and there...I guess you could say I'm the absolute opposite of Naive, I'm very leery of people who want to strike up a &quot;frienship&quot; with me when they've just met me and they know I'm only visiting...also, I'm visiting a city/country, I don't have to waste on some man who wants attention.

Madison, That was You? Us working guys need to make a living too. Now I feel like a cheap Amsterdam Hooker.

To avoid the gigolos' advances, I would recommend wearing running shoes, big ol'satin gym shorts, white crew socks, a stained Packers t-shirt, remove most of your teeth, and gain 60 lbs. In other words, try to look like my neighbor. If said gigolo's pursuit continues, then his heart must be pure, and you should bring him home.

Somewhere in a Sophia Loren movie she says, &quot;Keep your nose up and your skirts down&quot;.

Wow, Madison, what a story! Better than the one I heard where a friend went to Europe and every man she met wanted to discuss politics!
I would not think of him as a gigolo, since he did pay you back, the same thing could happen at home..and just remember it as a nice interlude on a trip.
Will you see him again if you go back ?
((F))

Ira,
I love that advice!

edovre:

LOL!!! I can actually see your neighbor clearly, it's scares me but it's a truly great visual.

I did see what i thought was a gigolo in action in Paris. I was standing at the observation point near Tracadaro snapping a few digital shots of the tower. I overheard an american woman saying, &quot;You don't even know me. I am much to old for you.&quot;
A few days later I observed the same gentleman(loosely used) making time with another woman. I thought it was hilarious. He was so cheesey I could not imagine anyone falling for that kind of shuck and jive.

sure, I have, several times. Mainly in the Middle East (Egypt) where they all want to marry you within a day of meeting you, or get your address and talk about love. I met these guys in a hotel bar, at a disco, etc. It didn't bother me because I knew what they were doing so never gave them my address. One guy wanted me to be his third wife, a tour guide in Luxor. Yeah, sure, that sounds appealing.

I've also been approached by the typical Italian males who like to pick up female tourists as a sport, but I'm not sure he was a gigolo or wanted money, etc., probably just sex. He was really Italian, not another nationality. I didn't fall for any of this stuff because I don't find those attitudes appealing, nor circumstances of men without decent careers when they are too old to be without one. I couldn't find a waiter, etc. interesting who is over the age of 25. I'm sure there are very rare exceptions, but most guys who pursue and like to pick up tourists are not, by definiton, very substantive.

Have not had the pleasure, wish I had! Sounds like a truly &quot;charming&quot; overseas experience.

In some ways you have good fortune Madison. Since I look, as they say round here, like the back of a brick shithouse,(please excuse quotation), it's always pretty obvious when someone has an ulterior motive.

I should be so lucky............

My Italian boss told me that in his younger days he used to go after American girls in Rome to improve his English (though that wasn't all he had in mind); I suspect that language and sex, rather than visas, are the major motivators for most Italian men, since most of them wouldn't want to leave Italy if you married them!

That said, I would observe that (a) many foreign women come to Italy hoping for a romantic adventure with a handsome Italian man. and (b) many of those who find it do end up marrying! I found my Italian man in the US (wasn't even looking for one), but I've heard quite a few stories of women who come here on holiday and are &quot;struck by lightning,&quot; next thing you know they're married. Most of these stories have happy endings, too.

I guess any advice I could distill from that is &quot;Don't be so suspicious. You never know when something wonderful may actually be happening to you.&quot;

best regards,
Deirdr&eacute; Straughan

http://www.straughan.com

Hi Scarlett - you are right he did pay me back and it was a lot of fun and I got to see some lovely countryside that as a tourist may have never happened.

Ira - I did keep my skirt down and my legs crossed, thank you very much.

Lyb - I'm not naive enough to think something permanent could have come out of this.

Scarlett - If I went back I'm sure he'd welcome me with open arms. We did have fun, but like I said before something just doesn't ring true about him, sorry to say and he was very evasive when I asked him certain questions.

I guess you live and learn and try to remember to fun part of it. But I still think he had the makings of a gigolo and had ulterior motives had I gone along with his chitter chatter.

By the way where is m_kingdom during all this? I was sure I'd hear from him by now.

Madison,
Maybe m_k was your gigolo! :)

JJBhoy - That did cross my mind :)

Believe me, Madison, if you had met up with a real gigolo you would NOT be posting the words, &quot;I think i met up with...&quot; Honey, with a real one you'd not only know, you also wouldn't be telling us about it!

Could someone please help me. I fear I might be a gigolo. I travel alone and often try to befriend women. Does this mean I am a gigolo? And if I am are there meetings I can go to for help?

Larry J

LarryJ, you might be going about it all wrong. Befriend the ones WITH money! Hanging out around 1* hotels is a loser idea.

To Chat Noir

&quot; LarryJ, you might be going about it all wrong. Befriend the ones WITH money! Hanging out around 1* hotels is a loser idea.&quot;

Chat Noir, please wear a yellow ribbon in your hair this summer all throughout Europe so I will recognize you, avoid you and avoid having my feelings hurt.

Larry J

It's true - you can never tell, but it's good to follow your gut instinct. ALthough not all Italian men opt to stay in Italy. 2 of my close friends are married to Italians-one from Florence, and one from Capri-both chose to stay in the States to raise their children.

But a thought occurs-
I've had my heart well and truly broken by someone I met while traveling in Italy-and I always wondered how many others had this happen to them, since I never wrote about it online.

I wonder what would happen if we women actually started talking to each other -would there be a &quot;friendsters&quot;-style network? Scary thought!

I appreciate this thread, as it is the first time it seemed OK to mention it!