Getting Out of My Comfort Zone and Travelling Solo
 

I am a single 57 year old female with a lot of energy and have been doing a lot of soul searching the past couple of years. Raised the family, worked my butt off over the years with tons of overtime and have decided it is time for a little bit of fun!! Can't find anyone interested in having some adventures so as scary as it is, I am ready to try a solo trip to Ireland. I have been searching the internet for some small travel groups and have come across Vagabond Adventures of Ireland. Wondering if anyone has any experiences with this tour group or any other Ireland tours. I just don't want to see Ireland, I want to experience it. Scared, but excited to take a step out of my comfort zone for once in my life, but want to travel safely. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

Well I'm not sure you'll find this very helpful but my advice would be to NOT go to Ireland. The 'best' things to experience are small towns, castles, coastal scenery. Those things are not well served by public transportation and renting a car solo is not a good idea. Most of western Europe has a fabulous train network and you can get everywhere easily and inexpensively. I've done lots of solo trips and its a great way to travel (I also travel with my husband and with friends, which I also enjoy).

If you are not really set on Ireland consider going instead to England or France or Italy. Ireland without driving yourself would probably be best with a tour, but that's not really 'independent' travel and there are lots of drawbacks to tours.

For inspiration re solo travel just type 'solo' in the search box.

You could try asking over on Tripadvisors Irish forum where you will find lots of female contributors who travel solo and have a great time..

Vagabond are a good operation with 2 legs, The main company and Driftwood which is aimed at a slightly different mind set. Paddywagon are another decent company but I tend to say you need to be under 50 in mind and body for their tours.

You could always just use public transport and take local tours from places like Galway and Killarney along with Dublin. for a taste of Ireland I would suggest having a base for a few days in a non (or less) tourist location. Of course a lot depends on when you plan to come over and how long you will have..

Just like guide books different Forums give different takes so along with this and the already mentioned above try asking on Ireland Yes which also has solo female travellers,,

Check out the recent trip report from Green Dragon http://www.fodors.com/community/euro...eland-2013.cfm

Of course self drive will give more options. and face it if you can drive at home there is absolutely no reason except self doubt that would stop anyone driving here.

Hi Solotreker,

Welcome to Fodors. You will find many like-minded folks here who journey solo. My travel experience did not start out that way but evolved over many years. Now I like it!

I would not be totally discouraged from including a tour also. In recent years I have stayed 5-6 six days in a large city (London or Paris), then joined a tour out through the countryside. The combination worked well for me. If you click on my name, you will find lengthy trip reports of these solo excursions. Most travelers on this board spend a great deal of time researching those points of interest they wish to explore. Be warned – you can never do it all!

Travel is a very broadening experience – so go for it and don’t hesitate to submit your queries/concerns to this forum. Good luck. :) 

I've taken tours and traveled on my own. My first trip at age 20 was on my own with a guide book; no internet in those long ago days. I made tons of "mistakes" but if I had to do it again I would, definitely. Lots of people (particularly women) travel on their own at every age. We have a poster on this board who is almost 20 years older than you and she travels on her own all the time. I also remember one poster in her 80s who travels solo. I'm sure there are lots more but these two come to mind immediately.

You can't experience the "real" country if you're in a group. You're coddled and herded along. The real country is found by staying in small establishments (pensions or B&Bs) and exploring more than the major cities.

When people speak about "traveling safely" I often wonder what they mean as they never identify what is unsafe to them. If you're from the US and live in or near a major city you're far from safe. Europe does not have nearly the physical crime that the US does nor the gun ownership.

I've been on many trips to Europe, both with friends, on tour groups, and on my own, and the worst that happened was that I was almost pick pocketed once. That's the type of crime that is most likely to happen. Not bodily harm.

I've only been to Ireland once so I can't speak as to the likelihood of using public transportation to get anywhere but it doesn't seem that it's easy to do (based on reading about Ireland). I would rent a car but I've rented cars in plenty of countries, by myself, where I could not read or speak the language and got along fine.

If you've chosen Ireland because the people speak English then that's not a good enough reason. People in Europe who deal with tourists all speak English. The young people all speak English.

Think about what Isabel has recommended, determine if you really want to visit Ireland or explore some other country, buy a passport, ticket, a couple of guide books, a small suitcase and get on the plane. You'll never regret it!!

Yes, consider "semi-solo", my made-up word. Handle the basic arrangements yourself but take half-day or longer guided tours from your city base. That approach allows the chance to mingle with like-minded visitors while preserving independence, especially your own choice of restaurants. The best development during my six decades of travelling by myself is the Internet. Carrying whatever access device you choose -- small laptop, Smartphone, tablet -- will keep you connected through your room's WiFi when the day's activities are over. (Uh, wheels on luggage was a great development too.)

"I just don't want to see Ireland, I want to experience it."

I've been on a number of foreign tours, several pleasurable or letting me see or do things I'd have struggled to manage myself. None, BTW, in a country where everyone speaks English as their first, or co-equal, language. None came within a zillion miles of letting me "experience" the country.

We obviously all have different expectations of what "experiencing" a country means. But a tour group's a tour group, and however hard its organisers try, you're in a bubble, consisting entirely of other tourists, almost all the time.

There's no cultural bias in Ireland (at least outside a few places in the larger cities) against single women going into pubs, and none at all against women travelling alone and starting up conversations with those sitting around her (or against others starting up conversations with her). Especially - and please don't misunderstand this - if a woman is of what the Catholic Church calls "canonical age"

As far as I'm concerned, the best way of experiencing a country is to live, work, study, have an affair or do a project there. This isn't just quibbling about what "experience" means, or points-scoring: it's that I can easily understand you might be happier on a tour - but you're very likely to come away feeling frustrated if you really thought you were going to be anything other than a spectator.

It very well might be easiest to be a spectator the first time round, and I'm not disparaging that. Just warning you, if you really want something else.

I'd suggest you'll feel slightly less of a spectator organising this yourself (in many ways nowhere on earth, even in North America, is more user-friendly for a North American adult woman than Ireland). You might have to accept seeing less - but you'll feel more involved.

For those who are unfamiliar with tours like Vagabond and to a greater extent Wolfhound tours, these are Not set in the mould Coach tours like the CIE type, pack them in, ship them round affairs.

These are get off piste a little, mix with the natives tours which do need a bit of a more adventurous nature and quite possibly more is gained as a result. Definitely more of an experience than the Ireland by coach window tours.

Thank you, Tony. This is good information. I looked at the long Wolfhound program and what I didn't like was 1 night stays. Vagabond does not give a detailed itinerary on their site. But both groups have interesting itineraries and the short programs can be taken in conjunction with a DIY portion of the trip.

Hello...I don't get the responses above...this poster is not asking whether she should just go alone no tour she is asking about going on a tour but she will travel alone. It is a good idea...she has done research and found a company and is asking about that company or others. Note to OP...I think you may get better input by putting the name of this company in title of your post. I would also recommend checking other travel forums and search for the name of the company...just google too...I think you are exactly on the right track but can't tell you much about this exact company or others similar. Good luck.

So...on Ireland forum at Trip Advisor just as I thought many people talking about Vagabond...seems favorable. If you have not gone there check it out. If you open a thread as you have here you will just get everyone's input in general on solo/vs tour and you are really not interested in that (at least that is how I read your question). Maybe you are already over at TA. You can also private mail people over there who are usually happy to share more detailed info or answer specific questions about what they post. Again...good luck.

Hello Lois. The OP was ambiguous. When I think of traveling solo that means without a group tour. I interpreted her post to mean that she was thinking of either going solo or with a group. Why would she be concerned about traveling safely if she's with a tour group?

Hi and Welcome!
I have combined small tours with my solo travel, and it has turned out to be quite pleasant. I went to Turkey and stayed in Istanbul alone for a few days before and after joining a 15-person group to travel into other areas of Turkey. On that trip I was much older than the other travelers but they were a blast to be with and could not have been nicer to me. Another trip in Asia I joined a smaller group for several days - and they were my age - but a completely different mind-set....so while we LOOKED to be the same - it was not as much fun.

However - while most of traveling alone is a breeze - there are a couple of advantages to occasionally having other people with you. One is the obvious - it gives you someone to talk to. The other is that it eases the stress of having to figure out some of the regular logistics, such as how to buy tokens for public transportation, which bus to take, which gate at the airport? Just two brains are better than one sometimes - and if you make a mistake, at least you aren't alone!

My daughter did the same in Ireland. Spend a lot of time alone on either end of a tour. And she met friends for life along the way.

<i><font color=#555555>"renting a car solo is not a good idea"</font></i>

If you've spent most of your life driving, why on earth would it matter?

I hear Ireland offers very beautiful experiences.

For thirty years, my business has taken me all over the world. And for almost as long, I tacked on extra days to my work trips to give me a chance to explore on my own. I did meet up with friends when those opportunities were available, but for most trips I had the extra time to myself. And I loved it. Still do.

I'm not burdened by fear. I've made my share of travel mistakes, but nothing unbearable ever happened to me. With the right attitude, you can overcome almost anything.

Life is far too short to let it pass without experiencing your dreams. Good luck.

maybe she is looking for a combination which would be good too..don't know...up to her to sort out.

Solotreker, I think flanneruk has given you the most balanced and real response of all so far.

If you truly want to 'experience' a place, NO tour will ever give you that. You must travel independently and slowly to meet that objective.

That said, if you would feel more comfortable for this first 'adventure' in being in a group then fine. No doubt you will enjoy it but just don't set your expectations at a level a tour cannot deliver.

If all goes well and you see the shortcomings of a tour group that first experience may well let you see enough to know you can go it on your own next time.

"renting a car solo is not a good idea"

If you've spent most of your life driving, why on earth would it matter?

Well for starters she would be driving in unfamiliar territory and it is more difficult to both drive and navigate (read the map, read road signs) at the same time, not to mention the temptation to look at scenery. I've driven in Ireland (and England, France, Spain, Italy, etc.) and it IS a bit different from driving in the US - the way the roads are marked, the number of roundabouts, etc. The fact that you need to know the names of towns along your route rather than just route numbers. Things like that. Difficult, not terribly, but it is different.

Roads in Ireland are much narrower than in most of the US. And we haven't even mentioned yet that, assuming she is from the US, they drive on the OTHER side of the road! I actually thought it was kind of fun, but I'm sure glad I had someone else in the car to help me remember going through roundabouts, turning, etc. To help watch for traffic. Stuff like that. And I've driven in England/Ireland several times and I still wouldn't do it alone if I didn't have to.

Just saying, I think solo traveling is wonderful, but much less stressful if you don't have to drive, especially the first time.

<i><font color=#555555>"it is more difficult to both drive and navigate at the same time, not to mention the temptation to look at scenery."</font></i>

There are challenges for sure, but those who seek adventure can prepare. And much depends on rural vs. urban driving. I've driven solo in Japan (insane decision). At least the road signs won't be in Japanese.

Having another person along doesn't guarantee a good navigator sitting next to you. It's far more dangerous to have a back-seat driver sitting next to you, yelling wrong directions. And then there's the arguing afterwards. No thank you.

These days a Garmin can be a worthwhile investment for a solo traveler.

As for tours, I'm not a group girl. I love a great tour guide, but I'll only invest in private tours. Having the guide to yourself is so enriching.

Are you fully committed to joining a tour? Many of us are women who have found traveling solo to be a great indulgence -- I love it! You might find some inspiration in the trip reports on this thread:
http://www.fodors.com/community/trav...collection.cfm

Congratulations on your decision to step out on your own & see the world.

It's quite a while since I was in Ireland, and I didn't do any group tours or use public transport, so my comments will probably be of limited value to you.

However, I can say that if you're a competent driver in your own country, you ought have no trouble driving in Ireland. By competent, I include experience in driving on narrow roads with lots of twists & turns, hedges and some one-way bridges. Or at least a willingness to slow down & do so, not expect every road to be a multi-lane freeway.

I travel solo, but occasionally take small-group tours for a day or 3 for special interest excursions.

This might be something for you to consider. If you have the time, you could spend a few days in a town/village in a b&b, or rent a flat /cottage to give you a flavour of that area, and take short tours to explore.

As I said, I can't comment in specific tour companies in Ireland as I didn't use any - but I saw a great deal of the south, and a little of the north, driving myself over about 6 weeks.

On the subject of driving, I look at it like this.

How any individual feels about it depends on that individual's confidence and comfort zone in terms of driving. To say, 'I find it no problem' or 'I wouldn't do it' really only indicates what that individuals comfort zone is. It has no bearing on the OP unless you know how confident a drive the OP is.

Many people find driving on the 'wrong' side of the road to be something they are not willing to attempt. Logic tells us that if they can drive, that should make no real difference. But while it isn't a logical fear, it is a fear nevertheless.

So comments about should or shouldn't someone drive, are meaningless. It is an individual thing and ONLY the individual can decide.

Good point dulciusexasperis.

We do tend to filter our responses through our own experiences, competencies & limitations.

However, the OP hasn't indicated she would be driving "on the wrong side of the road". For all we know, she may drive on the left in her home country.

Or she may not drive at all, although she doesn't mention that as a reason for considering a tour.

There's really no reason one can't travel by bus as easily as traveling by train. You show up at the right place at the right time and buy a ticket, get on board and watch out the window until you get there. This is not significantly more difficult than is train travel... though you will likely have more stops along the way.

I'd suggest choosing an area or two of most interest, then looking at the bus schedules on how to best get around. Ireland, IMO, is quite simple and being that it's English speaking, there are no shortage of people to ask, most pretty friendly. Further, there are certainly locals on that bus, so you have plenty of chance to lean over and ask someone if you're confused.

One example might be to take the train to Cork or even Cobh (lovely small town, very "real" IMO). Take the chance to walk around. Shop for a few necessities at local grocers. Spot a neighbourhood pub, take a deep breath and go on in. This has never turned out to be a regrettable choice for me so far. This is the experience. Look for the local tourist office... there will be no shortage of local day tours. And from there, why not catch a bus and wind down the coast to someplace else that seems a bit biggish until you find another perch on which to roost a few days? Wind up somewhere the train runs... or even, say, Shannon with it's airport for a return flight home? It's not all of Ireland, of course... but if you do the whirlwind, you get a brief of everything and no depth of anything. Which is fine but doesn't sound like what you want.

For those bus schedules:
http://www.buseireann.ie/

Bus is the best option for travelling around Ireland in many cases.. As said the train uses Dublin as the main hub. The train would though be the way to get from Cork to Cobh should that be on your list.

Perhaps a little feedback might help us help you.

Hi Solotreker, it’s been many days, just wondering what your reaction is to all of this “advice” about solo travel?

The OP Posted and has not returned to the thread. Everyone may be talking to themselves . . .

Janisj, I hear you - c'est la vie...

Thanks for all the responses. I just finished up with a 70 hour work week and haven't had a chance to get back on this thread. A lot of things to think about. I am amazed at the number of you that truly go out on your solo adventures. After reading some of the responses, I am going to also consider maybe going out on my own and doing some small group tours. I had originally planned on travelling in September, but at this point that might be rushing things for me. I like to do a little planning to make sure I see and do the things I really would like to do the first time around. This time of year is so hectic with work. I am so ready to get out of my comfort zone in life. The only reason I selected Ireland for my first solo trip was because many many years ago we sponsored an exchange student from Ireland, and loved our discussions on the culture and beauty of Ireland. I hope to spend a day with her and her family while there. I am going to back thru and review all the responses and links provided today. I don't have to work today!! :) Thanks for all the tips.

How long do you have for this trip? As you will see from reading all the responses, there are numerous ways you can make it work to travel solo in Ireland. However, I still say the absolute best way to travel solo is to do it someplace that has good/great public transportation. A city that has a good metro/bus system, a country that has a great train network - these can make traveling a joy. And that's just not Ireland. But intra European flights are cheap and easy. You could perhaps spend some time in Ireland visiting your exchange student and seeing the area around where she lives, then fly somewhere else. England is an obvious choice as it is so close. Several days to a week or more in London is a perfect first solo destination. They speak the language, the transportation is good, there's so much to see in the city itself, plus many great day trip (by public train) opportunities. But if you wanted something more 'different', flights from Ireland go pretty much everywhere in Europe. Or you could do some time in London and take the Eurostar to Paris for a while (3-4 days for each of these cities is really minimum to make it worthwhile). Both of these cities are wonderful for solo female travelers - you don't feel odd going out alone, there's so much to see that you don't get lonely.

If you were to combine Ireland with another destination you'd look for 'open jaw' (multi-city) flights - into one city and home from the other, so as to avoid having to back track.

Thanks Isabel and all the others that have posted. I am looking at being gone 10 to 14 days. After reading all the posts, I think I need to keep researching some of the great ideas. I am so excited, and a little nervous. But I have managed on my own for years. I have the passport, just need the plane tickets. Being this is a "big" trip for me, I want to make sure I do some things right. So I think a little planning is needed the first time to Europe.

Hi Solotreker,

So glad you got back to the discussion. Wow, you really do need a vacation after those lengthy work days!

As suggested above, London and Paris make excellent destinations for a first timer in Europe. In my view the key is to select a hotel in the heart of the city where you can walk to many priority destinations before venturing onto the Tube or Metro. Believe me, you will get tons of suggestions for these hotels on this forum.

When time permits, you could search SOLO trip reports and get a feel for the experience. Of course, there are a few drawbacks which are greatly outweighed by the freedom and increasing confidence of traveling alone. Keep us posted. :)

What is the relevance of London and Paris for someone who wants to visit Ireland? What makes the 'key' for first timers to Europe, selecting a hotel in a city? What if cities are not what they are interested in?

I suggest ignoring trip reports since the vast majority of them will bear no similarity to any other individual's preferences. It would be better to put that time into reading a guidebook for the area you want to visit and selecting from that, what is of interest to you as an individual. Trip reports can never cover as much as a good guidebook does.

For a Solo female trip report you could read Green Dragons recent Ireland example
http://www.fodors.com/community/euro...eland-2013.cfm

I agree with dulciusexasperis. Go where you have dreamed of going. Go where you have developed an interest. Don't go somewhere just because someone else found easiest for them. What's easiest and hardest is like what's "better" or "worse". It's entirely objective. A city has it all at your fingertips. It can also be quite overwhelming if you're not adept at cities already. A place like Ireland can offer less options, true. But it can also feel a much simpler place to be.

Don't worry about all that.

My first trip abroad was to Ireland. It was fine, nothing alarming happened. I can't think of a trip report I've read yet that seemed alarming. Doesn't mean that something won't go awry in either London or Kinsale (or in your neighbourhood). What you want to know is could you get help getting out of a jam. I am sure that you could, as easily in Dublin or rural Ireland as you could anywhere else you might choose. I got sick there once (not the first trip). The doctor charged me 15 Euro for the visit, gave me directions to the pharmacy down the street and asked me to call him Patrick. These things work out. This is about you. Your money, your dreams, your trip. It's good that people want to be helpful but you know you. And if Ireland is calling, read up on Ireland and go to Ireland.

Sorry... it's entirely subjective. SUBjective. Dang it.

Dulcius,

My bad, true Solotreker did ask about Ireland only.

You wrote:

“I suggest ignoring trip reports since the vast majority of them will bear no similarity to any other individual's preferences.”

No, they are not substitutes for good travel guides. What I am suggesting is that the poster might get a sense of how others manage/ compensate/adjust to being on the road alone from these accounts. I took many trips to Europe with traveling companions before I ventured out on my own. I admire Solotreker’s decision to strike out alone on her first trip across the pond.

And Tony2phones makes an excellent suggestion about reading Green Dragon’s solo trip report to the Emerald Isle.

Hi
We have been to Ireland quite a few times and have done the self-drive and the large and small group tour so I can give you my opinion on them for what it's worth... Firstly do not worry about traveling solo as you have picked a great location to start with. The Irish are known for their friendliness and hospitality so I don't expect that you will feel on your own at all. For yourself that hasn't been to Ireland, I would go with a small group escorted tour. I have travelled on a CIE tour before and although it was very well priced, we did feel like it was a race against time, we were on the bus, off the bus and ushered back on again!! It felt like we didn't get a real feel for the place. We decided to come back after that and went on a small group tour, we used a company called Journey Through Ireland, they keep their groups to 12 people which worked out really well for us. We made great friends on that trip due to the group size we think because it meant that we really had the opportunity to bond with everyone. We had a great tour guide who told us everything we needed to know and bless his patience we did ask a lot of questions!! The beauty with this tour was that we didn't feel rushed at all and they had allowed free time in our itinerary so my wife & I could leave the group and have some alone-time when we wanted and it gave us the opportunity to visit a local pub and chat with the locals there or try out a restaurant we had heard about so we truly got a feel for the place. When selecting your tour comapny, I would recommend that you look out fornthis in their itineraries. We did an add-on package in Dublin which meant we came in a few days early ahead of the tour and spent some time exploring Dublin ourselves. I now feel more comfortable with my knowledge of Ireland so we tend to do self-drives as we know the areas we love most now and how to get around. I haven't used Vagabond Adventures before so can't really say what they are like but from reading reviews about them online they look ok too. Best of luck with your selection and most of all have fun doing it!! It is a great country so I am sure you will have have a great vacation and a well-deserved break!

I too am solo and looking at a trip to Ireland. I have made other trips to another country with others but never alone. I am concerned about being the only one on my chosen tour alone. Ireland has always been somewhere I've dreamed of going. I am fascinated by so many aspects of it's culture, history and beauty. I am tentatively booked on a CIE 10 day Leisurely Ireland tour and not looking forward to being herded around like cattle. Not to mention the $600 single supplement. I would much rather sign up for a rental car tour with booked B&B's or Hotel with some meals. As of the last few years I've basically been RV'g and belong to two solo RV groups. I have pulled my trailer as much as $1200 miles alone to meet with others for site seeing and adventure. I'm certainly not a marathon runner but consider myself physically fit. I sincerely hope you respond to this post and let me know what your intent for Ireland is. Also, would like to add I am not wealthy.

JamesLuke..thanks for the info on Journey Thru Ireland Tours. That tour group has not come up in any of my searches. I like the idea of a very small group. I definitely do not want to be in a large tour group. And I am still tossing around the idea of renting a car. So many ideas to consider. A client of mine has strongly suggested staying in bread and breakfast inns. OkieLady..I am very impressed that you are doing the solo rv'ing trips. I too consider myself physically fit(but also not a marathon runner)...I find that a lot of younger folks can't keep up with me. At first I was considering going to Ireland in September, but I think that may be rushing it a little bit for me. Working a lot thru the end of April. And I think I need to do some planning.

Hi Okie Lady,

“I too am solo and looking at a trip to Ireland. I have made other trips to another country with others but never alone. I am concerned about being the only one on my chosen tour alone. Ireland has always been somewhere I've dreamed of going.”

I hear ya. But I have taken many tours solo and never have felt uncomfortable. In addition to couples who are usually in the majority, you may encounter two friends, mother and daughter, father and daughter, grandparent and teen, along with assorted singles.

Most folks on a tour are open to meeting new people which is part of the experience.

Good luck. :)