Funniest tourist?
 

Have you ever been struck speechless (by way of laughter) by something you have heard or seen from another tourist whilst travelling? <BR>My personal favourite was from a Canadian woman in Austria who declared to one and all that the Austrians had NO IDEA how to make Sacher Torte. By far the best Sacher Torte in the world was to be found in.... <BR>(you guessed it)....CANADA!!

<BR>Hi Janine, <BR> <BR>Loved your sacher torte story! Here’s mine. In the market in Ile-sur-la-Sorgue (Provence) two women from Texas were examining the fabrics and discussing how much yardage they needed. One woman turned to the other and said “I wish someone here spoke French.” I knew what she meant but it sounded so funny since 90 percent of the people in the area WERE speaking French. I intervened and helped her buy the yard goods and I liked her selection so much I bought a couple of yards of the same which I now have on my dining room table to remind me of Provence and the woman from Texas. <BR> <BR>Adrienne <BR> <BR>

A few months ago I was discussing my upcoming visit to Paris with a man who worked in another department. He is a well-educated chap who has been to various European coutries. He even lived for a short while in Lyon. So it was not like I was having a conversation with some guy who just fell off the back of a potato truck. While we were talking, he made the comment that <BR>he had never been able to get any good bread in Paris. <BR> <BR>I took him at his word and did not buy any bread from the bakeries in Paris. I just loaded up with more "sticky" goodies than my cholesterol count needed. In fact I bought so much from one family-run bakery near my hotel that the lady who was seemingly always behind the counter was beginning to speak a few words in English to me, and she acted like she understood my French!! (Which would be a minor miracle.) <BR> <BR>By the way, the bakery is on Boulevard Raspail, a few yards southeast of Boulevard Montparnasse on the left side of the street as you walk away from B. Montparnasse. <BR>The baker makes the best sticky pinwheel buns with raisins that I have found yet. <BR>Two of them, a container of Yogurt, and a bottle of apple juice makes a delicious breakfast, particularly if you can get as far as Jardin du Luxembourg to eat them. <BR>(Turn right on Rue Vavin from Raspail.) <BR> <BR>The best source of baked goodies I have found so far in Europe is a small food store in Innertkirchen (Switzerland) just before the road turns to go over the Grimsel Pass. <BR> <BR>

On my visit to Schönbrunn another visitor (American) asked the young lady at the information booth the following question: "Some kind of a king live here?" <BR>The lady was equal to the task. <BR>her response was a polite "Yes. The king of Austria." I think she judged correctly. Anything else would have been counter productive. <BR> <BR>What impressed me was her "language badge": English, Hungarian, Italian, French, and German. <BR> <BR> <BR>

We were having lunch by the fontain in Sainon, Provence.Ayoung boy was trying to stab the goldfish, his parents ignorung him, He annoyed the couple next to us by repeatedly bumping into their chairs. He ranacross to the ancient stone wash room and straddled the rim, lost his balance and fell in. Everone laughed as the mother stripped him, his nakedness humiliating him. His eyes downcast, as his mother dressed him, no longer the tough little boy . His mother said as she returned to her chair, "you all enjoyed that" I said well, he was flirting with danger.

When we were in Botswana last month we had to take a few internal flights from some pretty small airports. <BR> <BR>We were on one flight from Maun, to Johannesburg via Gaberone, which wasn't overly full and mainly being taken by native Botswanans. <BR> <BR>When we went through into the departure lounge we noticed that we had gone through a visa and security booth, which would not be relevant to locals and guessed we might be in a seperate (though equally grungy) departure lounge. <BR> <BR>Another couple, very senior US citizens, didn't seem to think about this. The husband seemed very quiet and reasonable. His wife was scarey. <BR> <BR>As it came to 15 mins before dept time she started shouting at him to go check what was going on. We weren't too worried, as we had noticed that the boarding times were very shortly before dept on many internal flights as they were on small planes which took only minutes to board. Suddenly she noticed that some pax were walking out (from a diff gate) across the tarmac to the plane. <BR> <BR>Her husband had left the lounge (not gone far but to the corridor leading to the lounge) to ask when we would be boarding. <BR> <BR>I nearly jumped out of my seat as she screamed DICK at the top of her voice! DICK get back here, they are loading our plane. <BR> <BR>I got up and approached the gate door, which is kept locked as it opens directly onto the tarmac, and relaxed as I noticed an aiport official who was clearly walking towards the door from the outside with key in hand. <BR> <BR>Old missy then proceeded to start rattling the door like some mad banshee, screaming at the man who was trying to unlock the door. <BR> <BR>I was trying so hard not to cringe and laugh at the same time, as she was making it almost impossible for him to open the door as she was rattling it so hard. <BR> <BR>Eventually her husband pulled her aside. He opened the door, she glared at him and pushed him out of the way before he could check her tickets and raced across the tarmac. <BR> <BR>We gave him our boarding tickets, got on the plane, and had 10 mins to spare before take off. <BR> <BR>I saw them again at Johannesburg airport and steared well clear, wondering how senile one member of a couple needs to get before the partner decides not to take them on such adventurous trips anymore. <BR> <BR>The airport was small and did things differently but perfectly organised for the amount of visitors it had to process. <BR> <BR>Still she gave me something to smile about (in a "kill me if I ever get like that" kind of way") for some hours after.

Folks, <BR>Great stories, all. Mine is pretty short. Enjoying fresh baked breads for breakfast at the hotel's outside terrace, I hear a loud, surprised American voice chiming in: "Hey, these croissants are good!!" <BR> <BR>Hmmm. <BR> <BR>s

Not in Europe...while driving through New York City just after sunrise on a Sunday morning, we spotted a man and woman -- obviously a couple -- in their twenties. They were wearing tourist-y outfits (i.e. not all black) and were running up and down the near-empty sidewalks in midtown, leaning backwards every few steps and gazing upward in a parody of wonder, **yelling**, "Oh my GOSH!!! The BUILDINGS are SO TALL!!! I've NEVER SEEN anything SO TALL in my WHOLE LIFE!!!" <BR> <BR>It was completely unclear as to whether they a) were from NY and were imitating the countless tourists here -- pretty early in the morning to be doing this or b) they were tourists who were very self-aware and amused by themselves. <BR> <BR>Either way, it was pretty random and pretty funny.

Overheard by a friend of mine in Windsor: <BR>"I love the castle, such a shame they built it on the flight path"

While on a walking tour in Moscow last year, an American woman was pointing at one of the (unfortunately still numerous) hammer and sickel emblems on a building and asked "What is that thing that looks like a twisted rifle?" <BR> <BR>While in Irkutsk early this month I was on a tour of Prince Volkansky's house (one of the Decembrists) and wondered aloud, why did Princess Volkansky (his wife) have no blood relative with the name "Volkansky".

While visiting the Forbidden City in Beijing overheard another American family. Grandma was saying "They should fix this place up - and have weddings and parties here - like they did in the old days. They really need to fix this place up!" She seemed to appreciate the Forbidden City, but was maybe a bit unclear on some of the details of its history (and also unaware of how much 'fixing up' has actually already been done.....) <BR> <BR>Oh - lack of good bread in Paris is an excellent excuse to stick to a diet of sweets. (But, then, on what substance do you put the excellent cheese?)

My examples didn't seem so much funny as just sad.. I was walking past Notre Dame in Paris, passing by the tourbus hordes, when a lady said to her husband, "Look, we're on an island!"... Another time, on the Metro, a group of Americans were talking and a fellow said "..and there's a church on a hill around here somewhere.." I would never pretend to be all-knowing about any place, but to not know of Ile de Cite or Sacre Coeur before coming to Paris is baffling.

One time at the ceremony of the keys - the Yeoman Warder is quietly explaining a brief history of the Tower and the procedure that will follow. Here we are a small group - about 35 - standing at Traitors Gate in the dark and absorbing the atmosphere. The Beefeater asks if there are any questions before we must be silent -- and the Yahoo in a loud American voice saya "Yeah - do you know the score of the Eagles Game?" <BR> <BR>It was humiliating - but the Beefeater handled it so subtly the Eagles fan didn't have a clue he was being ridiculed.

See, that's a situation where I would have the exact opposite reaction: I think the Eagles fan was making fun of the yeoman. That's just a funny question. Perhaps being married to an Eagles fan makes me a little biased.

Good thread. Years ago, when I was taking a group of American students to Versailles, an American tourist overheard me speaking English and sidled up to me (he was a Texan, wearing a large cowboy hat and boots - at Versailles, imagine) and asked: " Hey, d'yall know how to get to the Lawyer Valley?" <BR>But the best was a few years ago when I was at the spring down the lane from my house in France, filling several large bottles. A van came up the road and stopped by the spring, and out jumped an enormous American man wielding a video camera. "LOOK!!" he shouted. "Look at the peasant woman filling bottles from the spring!" Three or four other huge people emerged from the van, wearing Hawaiian print shirts, gold chains, shorts, and visors. And they all stood around and gawked and said things like "This'll make great footage, eh?" and "She's not sayin' anything - whaddya make of that?" and "You suppose she's got running water at home?" and "You spose she lives in that cave?" I filled my bottles and flashed them a big smile and went back up the hill. To this day I still get a lugh out of thinking about some family sitting in their rec room and watching me fill water bottles.

I have a couple. In Heidelberg, my mom and I went into a little bakery. The older woman behind the counter greeted us with, "Morgen!" My mom said to her, "My granddaughter's name is Morgen, isn't that funny?" The woman obviously did not know English and looked at her funny. My mom kept going at it, speaking louder and/or slower thinking that would make the woman understand. "MOR-GEN. You know? MORGEN. GRAND-DAUGH-TER. MORRRRR-GEN." I couldn't stand it anymore and finally booted my mom out of the bakery while I bought my goods! <BR> <BR>While in Paris, I once met a couple of guys from Russia, and upon realizing I was American, one of them got animated and shouted, "I AM A COMMUNIST!" hahahaha

I think I've written before about the US couple in Toledo discussing whether the El Greco paintings on the wall were the "real thing" or not -- and finally Mr. Urbane asked the tour leader, "where are the real paintings, huh?" The leader was confused, and he asked again, "where are the real paintings? In the basement? These aren't the real thing, are they? They wouldn't just put them out on the wall here, would they?" <BR> <BR>But before we get too smug about American (or Canadian) ignorance, let me say I used to work with arriving foreign students, and time and again, I would hear stories of students getting into a cab in New York and asking to be taken to Rochester or Syracuse. I'm glad to say, I don't think I ever heard of a cabbie taking advantage of the situation, and in a couple of cases, they were downright saintly. But if you'd expect Americans to know about Sacre Coeur before going to Paris (which I think is a bit of a stretch for some of them), wouldn't you expect someone going to college in the US to have looked at a map?

Thank you, Cass. This forum has several regulars who put down someone's question, correct their spelling, have a nasty snotty way about them. We suspect they are mostlikely pin holders.

To Heythere, Don't be so sensitive. My posts are loaded with mispellings not because I can't spell but because I don't type and have very bad arthritis. If those posters want to critisize fine. I am more interested in sharing, learning and having fun like this gay thread.

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