French Etiquette
 

What should a novice know about French etiquette before travelling to France?

First. Always say hello and good bye Bonjour, Au revoir to ALL shop keepers, people that you meet. Wrists on table, never on lap when eating. I think if one is kind, gracious, you will never have a problem even without knowing French, tho they will appreciate your trying out what few words you know.
Don't yell out for your check in a restaurant.

When counting, start with your thumb for #1. Number two is then added with your pointer finger ending up with your pinky.

If you aren't careful, you could be on very bad behavior when ordering "two" of anything if you do it in the typical American fashion!

The nicest people in France are reserved, punctilious, deft and rather formal. They appreciate those traits in others.

Don't holler, push, grab or snarl.

Tout le reste, c'est de la blague.

Oh, pointing is rude. But that applies to many cultures.

I love this site!!! You guys are great and so helpful. I find other cultures so interesting. Keep the info coming.

here's more:

http://france.12bookhotels.com/count.../etiquette.htm

Dont forget to say Pardon and Merci, merci , merci ...

Try what little French you can. Sometimes they'll act as though you are speaking Japanese but often they'll realize they're English is better than your French. The Frency often know English they don't let on because (I think) they don't want to appear unknowedgeable. For the most part they are very gracious people with an undeserved reputation for rudeness. They are formal and expect the kind of manner many Americans have long since let go of, including me when I'm here at home.

cigalechanta, thanks for that link.

On the topic of queues, I've joined a few in French post offices and many in French grocery stores. Everyone seems quite happy to shuffle along in the order they arrived. I did watch a woman queue-jump at the post office in Agde a couple of years ago. There was a bit of hissing and eye-rolling from those in the queue. The postal agent served her, but gave her a frosty lecture on line-ups. Interestingly, the woman then turned around and apologized to all of us still waiting. It's a fascinating society.

The only other thing I'd mention is that you can always expect to use the "vous" form, rather than "tu." As others have observed on Fodors before, addressing someone as "tu" is generally reserved for pets, one's children, close friends, and intimates.

Anselm

McBetsy,

I think you have hit the nail on the head. Some French folks will not respond in English because theirs is not so good. It's not, as some have suspected because they are wicked! We advice monolingual visitors to approach people who are by themselves -- that is with no witnesses. We think the success rate is higher if you do that.

Don't leap to conclusions that the French are "rude, unfriendly, unhelpful.." etc. Their thinking and responses are conditioned by an entirely different set of cultural 'rules' than how you think and respond or expect others to do.

Smiling is for a reason and for close friends, not for just being happy as you walk down the street.

They might not want to 'insult' you by assuming you can't figure out something, like reading a map or looking for a place. But the minute you indicate you need help, they will be there for you.

They might feel responsible to give an answer to your question, even if it's wrong, rather than say they 'don't know'.

Don't ask too many questions of the same person, especially people who are not in the job of providing tourist information.

Even if you don't know or remember these kind of 'rules', you will be fine if:
- you keep your voice at a moderate level
- you ALWAYS say "Bonjour Madame", "Merci, Monsieur" (don't just walk up and start asking questions, say a greeting first)
- don't handle the merchandise

Absolutely excellent reading:
<u>French or Foe?</u>
<u>Savoir Flair</u>
by Polly Platt

I added this thread to the &quot;Superthread&quot; for Paris...

Very interesting thread. I have ben to Paris a few times and I did not know about wrists on the table while eating or not to handle merchandise.
It is great to learn nw things. My rule of thumb is to always be polite and try to speak (3 years college French) the language, and to be respectful of others there and everywhere.

Don't expect the waiter to bring your check automatically. You have to ask for it. Also, the waiters are very professional, even at the smallest coffee shop. All you have to do is catch their eye if you need something. Be polite and gracious at all times.

Be sure to say pardon--pronounce par-don on the Metro if it is even slightly crowded as you enter or exit. You will be treated politely because because of it.

A touch of friendly &quot;attitude&quot; seems to work well. For reasons I don't quite understand, the French do not respond to the meek as well as to people who are a bit &quot;up front&quot;. This goes for NYC too. And if you are going to a private residence on your trip, be sure to read Polly Platt's books re cleaning your plate and the use of private restrooms(you don't!). JP

oakglen, but what if you have to go really, really, really bad? :D

I second the recommendation for Polly Platt's books - they're wonderful!
ALWAYS add Monsieur/Madame or the person's name to your greeting. Eg. &quot;Bonjour, Monsieur&quot; - It makes a world of a difference

I have found that if you are not understood, speak really, really loud. That should work. ((a)) ((b))