Fodor's Travel Talk Forums - Fear of Flying-Any Suggestions?

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Valerie, I was terrified of flying. Twenty yrs. ago we took Amtrack to West Palm Beach...after we arrived I went straight to a phone booth and booked a flight back. Amtrack actually cured my fear of flying.

Valerie, a great book, if you can get your hands on a copy, is "From Takeoff to Landing" co-written by a pilot and a recovering fearful flyer. It's a very no-nonsense description of what occurs on a flight, how the plane actually flies (in layman's terms) and why the chance of injury is so very very small. It gives meaning to those hard-to-comprehend odds (i.e. "one in a million" chance). It certainly helped me when I had to start flying more frequently for business. Now it's a piece of cake and I worry more about arriving on time than arriving at all (like I used to). It's currently out of print, but amazon.com has a no-risk used book search that you can use. One other tip that I'll paraphrase from a previous poster: When you're in the terminal and you're starting to get that nervous feeling, look around and make a mental note of how many people are waiting in your gate area for your flight. Then consider how many flights like yours are departing from that airport that day. Then consider how many airports there are in the US, then the world. Millions of people fly each day. This must be safe! Enjoy your trip to Europe next month. I envy you!

You can find a less expensive copy of that book at bibliofind.com, abebooks.com, or (is you're desperate) alibris.com. Amazon & Barnes and Noble use these, too, then slap on a surcharge for their brutal five minutes of work. Put the savings towards a nice sedative.

You can find a less expensive copy of that book at bibliofind.com, abebooks.com, or (if you're desperate) alibris.com. Amazon & Barnes and Noble use these, too, then slap on a surcharge for their brutal five minutes of work. Put the savings towards a nice sedative.

Why do some of you bring up stories about burning smells on the plane, and engines that failed and fuel being dumped, when someone has just confessed their fear of flying? I know that you mean well, and that it came out okay, etc., but most fearful flyers would rather not hear those things, even though they know they happen! It's like telling a woman newly pregnant, and for the first time, that your baby ALMOST died before the safe delivery - it serves no good purpose!

Lani....allow me to hail you a cab that's going in the direction of Real Street. What you need to do, in this case, is pack up all your crap in a brown paper bag and get the hell out of this place to somewhere far away where nothing ever goes wrong and evil does not exist. Stop lecturing people and you may realise that things are a little easier when you are not always out to moan or complain.

Inky, You are so cute when you're angry! I'm sure there are many reading these postings who know exactly what I'm talking about - that it doesn't help to have more fuel around a fire! Next time, show your displeasure to someone who gives a hoot!

Valerie-- Each time I plan a trip, the first question out of people's lips is "Aren't you scared of flying for that long?". Here is my answer: Of course. 30,000 feet above the earth, who isn't? But my love of travel greatly outweighs my fear of flying. I too look up a jet passing overhead and wish I was on it, no matter where the destination. At the first little jolt of fear I close my eyes and picture myself in Paris, London, or any favorite place. That helps me forget the fear and feel the anticipation. Traveling is my passion. I can overcome anything if it means strolling down the Champs Elysee or la Rambla. I hope you find something that helps you lose the fear and just feel the excitement. Bon Voyage!!

Beth, you are SO right. I have a story. Back three years ago, I was in Newark airport waiting for my flight to London, when suddenly panic struck! I told my husband there was no way that I would be getting on the plane! (Non- refundable tickets) He beg and pleaded with me to get on the plane, and we were the last people waiting to board.(this was my worst episode by the way) Well he tried to think of everything possible to convince me, then he said "You know, your luggage is going to London whether you go or not! Do you wish to have your luggage spinning in the turnstyle with no one to claim it?" With that my fear was totally abated and I got on that flight with the mission to collect my luggage! After that little scene I went to a psychologist and LANI, hello, you are SO RIGHT! My Dr said not to be subjected to any negative stories about air troubles. Did I mention that the night before that scene in the airport, I watch a program called "Air Disasters" and that was what went wrong, the Dr told me. I must think positive thoughts about air travel and know my final destination is what is worth it. This is ultimately what gets me back to the airport to go through this torture every year! :) Thanks again everyone for really great thoughts and suggestions!

I am one of the true fortunates - not an ounce of fear when flying. Terrified of bees, but not of flying. My mother, the Intrepid, had never flown in her whole life because she was afraid! I took her to Paris, and told her what to expect (whoosh clunk - clunk being a good thing as the landing gear is down/up) and she loved the flight. She also is a gabber, and immediately makes friends with everyone around her. By the time she's on the plane, she's so engrossed in conversation, she hardly knows she's flying. So all of this leads to: previous poster's advice on the "from takeoff to landing" is great - I'll get the book just because of the info. Airframe, the newest Michael Crichton book, is about a crash BUT the information on how planes are constructed, etc. is really powerful in assuring fliers on how safe flying really is. And, get engrossed in conversation; human interaction keeps you focused on others instead of you (this is not a slam; it's normal for people to focus on themselves, especially when they are afraid). And, if all else fails, COCKTAILS....

Oh, yes. Those gloriously cute little bottles are free on overseas flights!

Valerie, you're doing VERY well if you keep on flying, despite the jitters just before. I'm a "recovering" phobic who spent a decade not going anywhere you couldn't get to by car or train, and now I fly several times a year. It's still a challenge for me, but every time I fly and things turn out okay, it's better the time after that. (And every time there's a problem, it's a set-back, but I keep going.) A couple of things that I find helpful: 1. A LOT of other people are feeling the same way. I love to look up into the First Class section and see just as many white knuckles there when it's turbulent as there are in coach. 2. Find stuff to do (when you don't want to try to doze), particularly things to reward yourself with -- a particular book or magazine you've looked forward to, crossword or similar puzzles, book-on-tape, etc. 3. I use Xanax, mostly as a psychological crutch -- I can take a 1/2 dose about 90 minutes ahead of time, mostly to deal with the pre-flight whimwhams. I can always take more once I'm seated, but I rarely need to. It's the ONLY time I use a drug for anything. Truth is, it's worse BEFORE actual departure -- like about a month ahead of time, then 3 days, then that last hour. 4. Make a decision about where you're most comfortable sitting: aisle is fine if you want to stay distracted and maybe pretend you are in a train or some such (really uncomfortably crowded train, though) -- those clouds you see out the window are just projections on a movie screen and you're really on the ground! I prefer a window seat so that I can stay oriented, try to figure out where I am (I sometimes take a map), keep track of what's happening or daydream about cloud formations. Doesn't work at night so well, but I've seen some gorgeous sights w/moon, stars, etc. Whichever works for you. Above all, consider that your panic has become something of a habit. You've now learned to associate panic with being at the gate before boarding. You need to break that habit, so get creative about setting up some new pattern of thought and reaction, so that being at the gate will mean something else besides "uh-oh!" Sing, chant, eat, go on backwards, hop on one foot, kiss someone hard -- any other suggestions, friends???

Vallium and Ativan are both tranquilizers, not sedatives. There's a difference. You are not going to become addicted after one plane flight nor will you be out cold. You will feel more comfortable and more in control and so the flying will be easier. A good sedative for a plane flight is Ambien which is a very short acting drug. The best advice to you, however, is to tell you to ask your doc. A lot of people are afraid to fly. You've gotten a lot of good advice here as well as some pretty silly stuff. My advice is to get some professional advice and no, the doc is not going to think you're crazy! Good luck.

Someone told me to take a Benadryll and it worked great. It kept me mellow and it also kept my ears and nose from getting stuffy in that recirculated air!!Good luck!

It helps me to get a seat next to an emergenecy exit. Just be sure you know how to open the door.

I took a job that required travel (flying). I HAD to get over my recently-acquired fear of flying. I found a book...simple, easy reading that helped tremendously. It is called "Flying Without Fear", author Duane Brown, PhD. I used to bring it on board with me for comfort. You can get it at http://www.amazon.com Also...I wouldn't suggest Benadryl as a previous post suggested. The air gets dry enough in an airplane, without drying up even more with an antihistamine.