Fear of Flying-Any Suggestions?
 

I will be flying to Europe in four weeks and have flown for years many many times (to Europe), BUT, everytime I wait at the airport gate before getting on the airplane, I always panic. I just hate to fly however I will still do it even though it gets real bad sometimes(the fear)because I love to travel. Does anyone have this problem and have suggestions on how to tame those fears while at the gate and on the 7 to 10 hour flight? Thank you.

British Airways run courses to assist people getting over fear of flying. I don't know what/why/how but its worth giving them a call to find out about it. <BR>

Valerie, I'll probably get some flack for this, but why not ask your doctor for a light sedative? I commend you for not letting the fear control you. I have some height related fears, but I try to continue to challenge the fears. However, if I experienced a full-blown panic attack, I would probably be on the phone to my doc!

Remember Valerie, Europe is only one valium away! <BR> <BR>Hope this helps: <BR>(Europe - 1 valium) <BR>(Asia/Australasia - 1.5 valiums) <BR>(South America - 1.5 valium) <BR>(South Africa - 2 valium)

Remember Valerie, Europe is only one valium away! <BR> <BR>Hope this helps: <BR>(Europe - 1 valium) <BR>(Asia/Australasia - 1.5 valium) <BR>(South America - 1.5 valium) <BR>(South Africa - 2 valium) <BR> <BR>The Inky rough guide to effortless airline travel.

While not afraid of flying, I am extremely claustrophobic and in order to prevent panic attacks at the airport, my doctor prescribed Ativan, and, boy oh boy, that stuff works. Plus, you don't get all loopy and there's no lingering effects as far as jet lag.

Thanks for your suggestions everybody! I must admit I was expecting people to tell me to try hypnotherapy, reading an engrossing book or listening to a CD of Ocean sounds! But drugs will work too! I actually did get a prescription for Xanax(sp)which did take the edge off the last trip. But I was still a bit wide-eyed, white-knuckled as I sat with a nervous chill in my seat. (I go through this little scene every once or twice a year for years now). I guess the Valium would be the last resort(knock me out and carry me off the plane in Europe). I suppose I was wondering if other people might have some tricks they use to keep their mind off of the flight in general. Thanks again everyone!

Inky, you really ought to get with it. Valium hasn't been the sedative of choice for quite some time.

Please dont resort to drugs - if you've ever gone through having a loved one become addicted to one of these "harmless" little happy pills, you'd never suggest such a dangerous solution to your problem. <BR>I suffered through exactly what you describe for many years - yet traveled a lot because I love it so much. Each trip became torture for the rest of the family who had to put up with my anxiety pre, post and during the trip. A few years back I picked up a paperback book which I have since passed along to a friend who shares our fear of flying. I think it is titled "How to become a fearless flyer" - it's a quick read and my "condition" improved dramatically right away. For a couple of years I'd pull the book out and read the first chapter or two before a trip - sort of a good luck charm I suppose. Eventually I found I was actually enjoying flying and now find myself looking wistfully as planes pass overhead wishing I was up there going somewhere exciting. I think the key to conquering my fear was realizing that a lot of people felt like I did - so maybe I wasn't just crazy after all - and reading over and over the reassuring statistics on just how safe air travel actually is - compared, for example,to how risky driving downtown to do an errand is. <BR>I still wish they'd let me sit up in the cockpit to make sure the pilot is paying attention to what he's doing, but I cant wait to board my next flight - and that feels great! Good luck.

You may not believe my personal experience, but I swear it is true. I, too, had fear of flying. It went away once we were airborne, but it was as real as it was irrational. I beat this fear by...getting my pilot's license. Months of pilot training, weather, navigation, FAA rules, tests and tests, plus many hours at the controls. The whole nine yards. And my fear vanished. Now I know what each squeak and roar and gurgle means, what the pilot and his crew are doing at takeoff and landing, how the electronics work, etc., etc. In effect, I am at the controls -- of the plane and of my fears. Drugs? Never.

<BR>Valerie - I'd suggest also requesting an aisle seat in middle or towards front of the plane. Let the flight attendants know too how you feel, they can be very helpful. If you don't wish to take drugs, perhaps a Tylenol PM will help you sleep. Avoid liquor, and bring stuff to do to take your mind off the trip <BR>- besides a book or two, cards, needlepoint, catch up on letter writing. Have a great trip and tell us about it when you return. While waiting at the gate, try walking around alot (browse in the shops), or while sitting, catch up on reading about your destination, learn some phrases etc.

Perhaps I was a little too flippant in suggesting medication. But I must take exception to the folks who say avoid drugs at all costs. Anxiety and depression are real illnesses that can have devastating results. Some of the modern anti-depressants can give a person back his life. No one should be ashamed of having an emotional illness or in seeking appropriate medication. And it is my understanding that these modern drugs are not addictive, whereas valium was. <BR> <BR>I AM NOT IMPLYING, VALERIE, THAT YOU ARE MENTALLY ILL! Please, Fodorians, don't get on my case about this. In fact, Val, your attitude seems very healthy. I was just trying to challenge the stigma that some people still place on mental illness and medication. <BR> <BR>Some situational anxieties, or panic attacks, like what Valerie described, cannot be easily overcome by books, training, music, and walking around the airport and chatting. And they can be very unnerving. In those cases, I think it is perfectly all right to have a medical standby. <BR> <BR>With all due respect Cheryl, I don't think flight attendants these days give a rat's ass if a passenger is afraid of flying - except that it might create a problem in the cabin. (Can I say ass?)

As long as it's only a rat's.

Valerie <BR>I had a fear of flying, especially in the last couple of weeks, as I am about to undertake the longest flight I've been on (Australia - Europe). <BR>I intend taking 'motivational' material and tapes with me (just-in-case I need a 'faith' boost). In life we live and walk by one of two choices 'faith' or 'fear'. The biggest challenge is to 'push through', because once you do, you win in that area. I believe to achieve this you need a 'point of contact' to be able to release faith to overcome fear, so I suggest you find your point of contact re medication, books etc (whatever it is that you have peace with) and just DO IT. Personally mine is 'the power of prayer', in fact I had a flying adventure recently when there was a buring electrical smell on the airplane, in which even after the captain walked the aisle, he didn't really know what it was! Did I pray! I was, however greatly relieved when I was reminded of when Jesus disciples where in the boat in the fierce storm and thought they'd die. I was going to a convention, and was reminded that I was being sent there. The Lord reminded me, just as he had his disciples "didn't I say you were to go to the other side?" That's it, When you know you are to 'go' He'll make sure you get there. <BR>Remember just have faith and the'storms of fear' will subside. <BR>All the best for your next flight of victory! <BR>Lisa

Valerie, The truth is that almost everything that you can do is more dangerous than flying! I was afraid, would wake in a cold sweat in the week or so before a flight and think I just couldn't do it! Then, about five years ago, something terrible happened to someone dear to me, and I saw something worth worrying about! Right after that, I got on a plane to Hawaii and never had that same kind of fear again. The truth is that something could happen to anybody at any time; they don't have to be on a plane. Once you accept that, a lot of the fear goes away. There's nothing wrong with taking a pill to zap that anxious edge, though, if that prevents you from the full-fledged fear! <BR> <BR>When I look at the statistics about what's dangerous, though, the flying is the least of them. Try to remember that, and have a wonderful time on your trip!

Dear Valerie, <BR> <BR>I agree with Lisa's methods, and to add to them, I read Norman Vincent Peale's book, THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING, a number of years ago and it revolutionized my entire personality and changed my life from fear to faith. I quote Bible verses appropriate to situations and "stand on the Promises of God." For example, when I'm flying I quote 2 Timothy 1:7 from the Bible over and over again until it gets into my spirit: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Another great scripture for fear to repeatedly quote is Jesus speaking in John 14:27: "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." This method works for me everytime. I promise you that if you read THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING and let the positive words of the book getinto your heart, you also will begin to lead a fearless life. One of the wisest men who ever lived was Marcus Aurelius, and he said, "A man's life is what his thoughts make of it." If we put into our mind thoughts of fear, we will get thoughts of fear out of our mind. If we fill our mind with positive words and thoughts, we can transform our lives for Proverbs 23:7 says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he..." <BR> <BR>Beverly

Amen Beverley! (faith COMES BY HEARING the WORD...over and over)

Thanks everyone for your comments. AJ, I definately saw your point and you are right on the money. For those who are concerned about me becoming a drug addict for taking a pill or two to relax on an airline, you can be rest assured that it won't happen.(although I do appreciate your concerns). I drug up my dog for long car rides and he isn't an addict because he doesn't get any more meds after the trip is over, like myself. The point is that I have self control with medication, food, alcohol, etc. I have found that there is no alternative but to take a mild sedative and still I am a bit frighten. <BR> <BR>Everyone's words of encouragement about the statistics are great and really help me as long as I remember that in the back of my mind.(ie more likely to die by another means than in a plane) <BR> <BR>Thanks Lisa and Bev for your words of encouragement! I am a very positive thinking person to begin with, it's just that I can imagine everything going wrong in a plane while enroute! My only fear in life (well, that and heights) You say that you prayed while there was a burning smell in the plane and that you feel that God would help you though. But my obvious question would be what about the 500 people on the TWA plane to Paris that all died? You don't think there was a lot of faith and prayer happening in those last final mins? Yes maybe it was God's will that a plane should crash at that time but I don't want to be one of the victims! Thanks again everybody!

It has been interesting For me reading all these responses.I am like you Valerie I have flown countless times and the fear dosen't get much easier to deal with. A week before I travel the nightmares start, fiery crashes, plunging into the ocean. <BR>Somethings that help are the bible. Like Lisa I think about Jesus in the boat, with the disciples on the stormy lake, Galilee.The words ring in my mind "be still and know that I am with you" I wear a crucifix and hold it during take off and landing. The other hand digs into my husbands arm. I have drawn blood ,but he knows how scared I am so he keeps quiet. <BR>As for the people who die I think that God would give them a special peace to help them cope. <BR>Ten years ago I went to England on my own to see family. Two hours out of Heathrow when we were over the Atlantic,the pilot announced an engine had failed and we would have to fly back to London. I was terrified. Out the window we could see all the fuel being dumped. <BR>The stewardess was kind she could see the sweat literally dripping off my hands with fear. She made me look into her eyes and kept saying it's going to be alright. the nice man I was sitting next to, kept trying to make me laugh by telling me what had happened on air Nigeria flights. It's a good job he wasn't my husband I would have had his arm amputated with my nails. <BR>Anyway the two hours flying back to London were filled with a strange peace.There was a stillness a resignation hard to describe.When the plane landed, fire engines and ambulances raced up to the plane.We were safe and the whole plane was cheering and clapping .For Conservative Canadians they did a good job.After that we had to wait until the next day to fly again. It was strange how everyone on that flight was best friends after that. All the usual barriers between people had been broken down by fear. <BR> <BR>As well as the crucifix I hold my dead mother and mother inlaws lockets.For comfort during the flight I have a native American healing stone that I roll between my finger and thumb.

Can we please not discuss Jesus on a travel forum...come on people...isn't there some 700 Club forum for that kind of stuff?

Valerie, <BR>I was terrified of flying. Twenty yrs. ago we took Amtrack to West Palm Beach...after we arrived I went straight to a phone booth and booked a flight back. <BR>Amtrack actually cured my fear of flying. <BR> <BR>

Valerie, a great book, if you can get your hands on a copy, is "From Takeoff to Landing" co-written by a pilot and a recovering fearful flyer. It's a very no-nonsense description of what occurs on a flight, how the plane actually flies (in layman's terms) and why the chance of injury is so very very small. It gives meaning to those hard-to-comprehend odds (i.e. "one in a million" chance). <BR> <BR>It certainly helped me when I had to start flying more frequently for business. Now it's a piece of cake and I worry more about arriving on time than arriving at all (like I used to). <BR> <BR>It's currently out of print, but amazon.com has a no-risk used book search that you can use. <BR> <BR>One other tip that I'll paraphrase from a previous poster: When you're in the terminal and you're starting to get that nervous feeling, look around and make a mental note of how many people are waiting in your gate area for your flight. Then consider how many flights like yours are departing from that airport that day. Then consider how many airports there are in the US, then the world. Millions of people fly each day. This must be safe! <BR> <BR>Enjoy your trip to Europe next month. I envy you!

You can find a less expensive copy of that book at bibliofind.com, abebooks.com, or (is you're desperate) alibris.com. Amazon & Barnes and Noble use these, too, then slap on a surcharge for their brutal five minutes of work. <BR>Put the savings towards a nice sedative.

You can find a less expensive copy of that book at bibliofind.com, abebooks.com, or (if you're desperate) alibris.com. Amazon & Barnes and Noble use these, too, then slap on a surcharge for their brutal five minutes of work. <BR>Put the savings towards a nice sedative.

Why do some of you bring up stories about burning smells on the plane, and engines that failed and fuel being dumped, when someone has just confessed their fear of flying? I know that you mean well, and that it came out okay, etc., but most fearful flyers would rather not hear those things, even though they know they happen! It's like telling a woman newly pregnant, and for the first time, that your baby ALMOST died before the safe delivery - it serves no good purpose!

Lani....allow me to hail you a cab that's going in the direction of Real Street. What you need to do, in this case, is pack up all your crap in a brown paper bag and get the hell out of this place to somewhere far away where nothing ever goes wrong and evil does not exist. <BR> <BR>Stop lecturing people and you may realise that things are a little easier when you are not always out to moan or complain.

Inky, You are so cute when you're angry! I'm sure there are many reading these postings who know exactly what I'm talking about - that it doesn't help to have more fuel around a fire! Next time, show your displeasure to someone who gives a hoot!

Valerie-- <BR>Each time I plan a trip, the first question out of people's lips is "Aren't you scared of flying for that long?". <BR> <BR>Here is my answer: <BR>Of course. 30,000 feet above the earth, who isn't? But my love of travel greatly outweighs my fear of flying. I too look up a jet passing overhead and wish I was on it, no matter where the destination. At the first little jolt of fear I close my eyes and picture myself in Paris, London, or any favorite place. That helps me forget the fear and feel the anticipation. <BR> <BR>Traveling is my passion. I can overcome anything if it means strolling down the Champs Elysee or la Rambla. I hope you find something that helps you lose the fear and just feel the excitement. <BR> <BR>Bon Voyage!!

Beth, you are SO right. I have a story. Back three years ago, I was in Newark airport waiting for my flight to London, when suddenly panic struck! I told my husband there was no way that I would be getting on the plane! (Non- refundable tickets) He beg and pleaded with me to get on the plane, and we were the last people waiting to board.(this was my worst episode by the way) <BR> Well he tried to think of everything possible to convince me, then he said "You know, your luggage is going to London whether you go or not! Do you wish to have your luggage spinning in the turnstyle with no one to claim it?" With that my fear was totally abated and I got on that flight with the mission to collect my luggage! <BR>After that little scene I went to a psychologist and LANI, hello, you are SO RIGHT! My Dr said not to be subjected to any negative stories about air troubles. Did I mention that the night before that scene in the airport, I watch a program called "Air Disasters" and that was what went wrong, the Dr told me. <BR> I must think positive thoughts about air travel and know my final destination is what is worth it. This is ultimately what gets me back to the airport to go through this torture every year! :) Thanks again everyone for really great thoughts and suggestions!

I am one of the true fortunates - not an ounce of fear when flying. Terrified of bees, but not of flying. My mother, the Intrepid, had never flown in her whole life because she was afraid! I took her to Paris, and told her what to expect (whoosh clunk - clunk being a good thing as the landing gear is down/up) and she loved the flight. She also is a gabber, and immediately makes friends with everyone around her. By the time she's on the plane, she's so engrossed in conversation, she hardly knows she's flying. <BR>So all of this leads to: previous poster's advice on the "from takeoff to landing" is great - I'll get the book just because of the info. Airframe, the newest Michael Crichton book, is about a crash BUT the information on how planes are constructed, etc. is really powerful in assuring fliers on how safe flying really is. And, get engrossed in conversation; human interaction keeps you focused on others instead of you (this is not a slam; it's normal for people to focus on themselves, especially when they are afraid). <BR>And, if all else fails, COCKTAILS....

Oh, yes. Those gloriously cute little bottles are free on overseas flights!

Valerie, you're doing VERY well if you keep on flying, despite the jitters just before. <BR> <BR>I'm a "recovering" phobic who spent a decade not going anywhere you couldn't get to by car or train, and now I fly several times a year. It's still a challenge for me, but every time I fly and things turn out okay, it's better the time after that. (And every time there's a problem, it's a set-back, but I keep going.) <BR> <BR>A couple of things that I find helpful: <BR> <BR>1. A LOT of other people are feeling the same way. I love to look up into the First Class section and see just as many white knuckles there when it's turbulent as there are in coach. <BR> <BR>2. Find stuff to do (when you don't want to try to doze), particularly things to reward yourself with -- a particular book or magazine you've looked forward to, crossword or similar puzzles, book-on-tape, etc. <BR> <BR>3. I use Xanax, mostly as a psychological crutch -- I can take a 1/2 dose about 90 minutes ahead of time, mostly to deal with the pre-flight whimwhams. I can always take more once I'm seated, but I rarely need to. It's the ONLY time I use a drug for anything. Truth is, it's worse BEFORE actual departure -- like about a month ahead of time, then 3 days, then that last hour. <BR> <BR>4. Make a decision about where you're most comfortable sitting: aisle is fine if you want to stay distracted and maybe pretend you are in a train or some such (really uncomfortably crowded train, though) -- those clouds you see out the window are just projections on a movie screen and you're really on the ground! <BR> <BR>I prefer a window seat so that I can stay oriented, try to figure out where I am (I sometimes take a map), keep track of what's happening or daydream about cloud formations. Doesn't work at night so well, but I've seen some gorgeous sights w/moon, stars, etc. Whichever works for you. <BR> <BR>Above all, consider that your panic has become something of a habit. You've now learned to associate panic with being at the gate before boarding. You need to break that habit, so get creative about setting up some new pattern of thought and reaction, so that being at the gate will mean something else besides "uh-oh!" Sing, chant, eat, go on backwards, hop on one foot, kiss someone hard -- any other suggestions, friends???

Vallium and Ativan are both tranquilizers, not sedatives. There's a difference. You are not going to become addicted after one plane flight nor will you be out cold. You will feel more comfortable and more in control and so the flying will be easier. A good sedative for a plane flight is Ambien which is a very short acting drug. The best advice to you, however, is to tell you to ask your doc. A lot of people are afraid to fly. You've gotten a lot of good advice here as well as some pretty silly stuff. My advice is to get some professional advice and no, the doc is not going to think you're crazy! Good luck.

Someone told me to take a Benadryll and it worked great. It kept me mellow and it also kept my ears and nose from getting stuffy in that recirculated air!!Good luck! <BR>

It helps me to get a seat next to an emergenecy exit. Just be sure you know how to open the door.

I took a job that required travel (flying). I HAD to get over my recently-acquired fear of flying. I found a book...simple, easy reading that helped tremendously. It is called "Flying Without Fear", author Duane Brown, PhD. I used to bring it on board with me for comfort. You can get it at http://www.amazon.com <BR> <BR>Also...I wouldn't suggest Benadryl as a previous post suggested. The air gets dry enough in an airplane, without drying up even more with an antihistamine. <BR>