Ever Booked a Trip and Decided Not to Go?
 

I'm sure I sound like a total psycho in posting this question, but I'm dealing with a lot of doubt/anxiety about an upcoming trip and I need some outside opinions.

So here's the deal... A few months ago, I decided that I wanted to take a trip to Italy. I booked a flight, bought a rail pass, and made bookings at various hotels and B&Bs around Italy. I've also been saving my money, and have between $3,000 and $4,000 saved up for the trip (20 days).

But as my trip grows closer (I'm scheduled to leave on Tuesday), I'm finding myself asking, "Do I really want to go?" For one, I have some transportation issues in Tuscany and Umbria (see my rental car thread). I'm also wondering if I've really saved enough money for the trip. I don't have a lot of tours, etc. planned and I'm worried that I'll just end up sitting around with nothing to do.

Furthermore, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if $4,000 is enough for the trip. (Most of my hotels cost between 50-75 Euros per night and then there's food, attraction tickets, etc. on top of that.) If I do go, I'll likely come back to the US flat broke, which doesn't appeal to me since Christmas will be upon us soon. I'm traveling solo, and I really think the trip would be more enjoyable with one or more companions. Quite honestly, I think I'll be a bit lonely.

If I don't go, I would probably forfeit the cost of my rail pass. I checked w/the airline and they will refund the cost of my ticket. I'm thinking about all the money I've saved up, and how I could put that to better use paying off some past due debts, getting caught up on bills, etc...

On the flip side, I feel that if I don't take the trip, I will regret it (even as I sit here and tell myself that if I don't go now I can go next Spring and do things right).

So that's my story. Anyone ever been in my shoes? What did you decide to do? Your experiences and/or your advice would be much appreciated.

Ameelynn,

Go, go, go! Don't even worry about it. So many people live their lives thinking I can't do this because.....and end up never doing anything. Traveling solo is a wonderful experience. Completely different than going with companions. Better in many ways which you will discover for yourself. You will not be lonely, you will meet and talk to more local people and they will be interested in you. The money you have saved is enough. Don't worry.

I'm jealous. I wish I were going.

Buon viaggio!

I can't say that I've ever been in that position. I'm obsessed with travel and it is one of the greatest pleasures in life for me. I look back on all my trips as life experiences.

I have friends that could take it or leave it but they have their own hobbies such as boats, cottages, or expensive toys which I don't quite understand either.

I could not picture myself planning for a big trip like that and in the end pulling the plug...just me but I would be crushed.

Ulimately you have to decide what's more important to you. I have no loans or debts other than a mortgage so I'm not in a good position to sway you to go. I think if it is weighing that heavily on you perhaps it's not meant to be right now. Half of the excitement of travel is the build up to departure day and you seem to be more worried than excited....that's no way to start a 20 day adventure.

Just me, but I wouldn't go if I had "past due debts" and other bills. I'd stay home, clean up the financial situation and start saving again. Then begin planning a trip that has you excited about going and not full of doubt and anxiety.

You could go and have a wonderful time for 20 days, but those debts aren't going anywhere.

Dayle makes a very good case for the other side...it wouldn't take much to twist my rubber arm.

Pre-trip anxiety is not unheard but I have never had that problem so it is difficult to respond. It might help to know your age and prior travel experience. But I do have a slightly similar problem in our family in that my wife never likes to completely made a final decision. Always wants an out -- just in case. In case of what ??? ---- Just in case !!! I am nearly the opposite. Make a decision, discard the options and execute the plan. About the only thing I remember from my graduate business program from 40 years ago is, "A second rate plan well implemented is vastly superior to a first rate plan poorly implemented !!!"

You have made a plan. Is it perfect? -- probably not. Will something not work as plan? Probably -- but you are in Italy. And I would much to be lonely in Italy than lonely in the US. Focus on executing the plan. ignore things you cannot control -- flights - early or late, Be prepared to make changes if something isn't working. Focus on what will go right and not on what might go wrong.

Maybe you should scrape the car. Haven't read your rental post but if I was traveling by myself I would only use public transportation. You have a rail pass -- use it heavy -- drop the car if concerned about costs. Unless you are doing a lot of rail travel in Italy, a rail pass is not cost effective.

Start packing NOW. We are always packed the week before so that we have little to do the day befoer and can be very relax ---- also, you can run the TO DO for the fifth time so that you really know that you stopped the mail, unplugged the iron. And carry the TO DO list with you on the plane so you can review it when the question of watering the plants comes up.

Relax, it is normal to have concerns, focus on the trip and not your worries. You will do find.

Are you sure the airline will refund your money? If you got any sort of discounted fare that would seem pretty unlikely.

That being said - and here is the "tough love" bit -- if you are in financial difficulties, have past due debts and bills needing payment - WHAT ON EARTH are you thinking booking a European trip in the first place??

many of us travel on much smaller budgets than you have planned so that isn't a problem. And unless you are hopeless at entertaining yourself, traveling solo is great.

But - IMHO it seems pretty irresponsible to leave bills unpaid and rack up past due charges while traveling around Italy. Just my 2¢ . . . . . .

Anxiety is a strange-sounding word when you look at and say it -- and it has its roots in Greek. It comes from their word for "fear." You are suffering a common complaint: anxiety -- fear of the unknown, fear of changing your comfortable routines. At one time or another, most people have this queasy, can't-put-my-finger-on-it complaint. Well, for what it's worth, my advice is to just go-go-go. Once you are in the pool, the water feels great. You soon forget your fears and you will have a marvelous time that you will savor for the rest of your life. Smile!

I can totally empathise with you.

Next Saturday I am booked to fly to Croatia for a week. I have been wanting to go for years, and saving and planning for months. Just recently it all seemed to become so complicated with all I have going on here at home that I began to wonder if I should really go.

This is meant to be my 50th birthday present to myself.

My flights are with airmiles so I would just lose the taxes, the airport car park which I've booked, the car rental deposit, one night's room rental in Trogir, and a 50 euro deposit on an apartment in Dubrovnik. That would total around 150GBP.

However to go will cost me around 600 GBP, plus the costs of my 3 teenage children boarding at school for that week which will come to around 340 GBP. (They are happy to do this, BTW, before anyone chips in)

Yes, I have some smallish debts, ie credit card bills, but they are manageable, and I also have booked a ski/snowboarding trip for January with my boys (see, my kids do get their trips too!), and I am a bit worried about having to pay for that in full at the start of November. And oh God, I haven't even thought about Christmas yet!

But what the hell, isn't that what I have credit cards and an overdraft facility for?

Everyone deserves a second chance, but they don't always happen. You will regret passing up on this trip, and always wonder What If...

No, I think you should GO. Absolutely. Definitely.

I am going to go myself, despite my reservations, doubts etc. It will be incredibly good for ME, I need a break from being a full-time single mum to 4 teenagers, and I will come back a better person for it. I know this, and that is why I am going to go.

Please go, and please post back and tell us how it's gone!

Good luck, I will think of you.

I only get to Europe every couple of years because...and it's just MY preference..I like to have the trip paid for and money in the bank to pay any bills from the trip as soon as they come in. I don't like having to worry about what I'm spending..well I'm NOT buying 2,000 designer anything..but I want to be relaxed. I know everything is paid for and when I get home I can start saving again.

Ameelynn, you are going to have to make this decision yourself but know you aren't alone! My husband and I are going in the summer on our 5th trip and I ask myself this often.I LOVE Italy but I always feel like I should/ need/ to use the money on something else like replacing the wood floor, or the roof or even put it into retirement or the kids college fund. BUT when I think about it I realize that IF I don't go then I will wish I had! I must point out that we don't have any debt other than our mortgage so our situation is different than yours.

It would be better if you didn't have other debt . You state that you could" go in the Spring and do things right". Perhaps that is the best option for you now. You can use the money you've saved for this trip and pay it towards that debt and start saving again. I am not one who likes debt hanging over my head so I will ALWAYS pay that off first before doing something I WANT to do.

I think the real problem is you don't want to go by yourself. You need to ask yourself if you had a travel companion would you be asking these questions. If the answer is " no' then my suggestion would be to forgo this trip, pay your debts and plan again for the Spring. Only this time find a friend to go with you.


Good luck1

I thought I was the only one!!!
I have this pre-trip anxiety every time now and the farther I go away culturally the worst it is.The worst is right before I board the plane.I look around at all the foreign speakers and their behavior and the question pops up....why I am spending all this money to get out of my comfort zone?

But soon as I get there and start seeing new things

sorry, didn't finish...you have to ask yourself ..why am I going alone?...It's probably that there was not another person who wants to do what you want do and has the money. Maybe you don't have those kind of friends..(the ones you want to spend three solid weeks 24/7 with)

There always going to be glitches...There will be plenty to do and if you are just sitting around Tuscany watching to sunset and the olives grow, how wonderful!

It all depends on if you have been there before...if you havent I say go for it..do you want to hear all those people saying ,"what happened to your trip?"

We have lived overseas, travel a lot, and for years went to Europe about twice a year.
HOWEVER......and it finally dawned on me that about THREE DAYS before leaving (where YOU are right now) I ALWAYS feel anxious and feel that it would be so much easier NOT to go.
This does pass and once on the plane and arriving at planned destination, things are almost always fun and wonderful.'
I think what you are experiencing is a not unusual feeling before a trip.
Of course you might have other issues that you are not sure about.
(personally, I think 20 days it a little long, but others would disagree with me.).
Sounds like you have a wonderful trip planned. Have you often traveled solo?
I feel like it will work out ....but again, it's a personal thing for you to decide.

No, can't say as I've ever changed my mind about going anywhere. Nor do I get pre-trip anxiety, except for the 5 minutes before I leave for the airport when I compulsively check to make sure I've got the passport, house keys, car voucher, hotel reservations, even though I know for sure they're all there.

My problem is at the other end of the trip. I can barely bring myself to come home most of the time.

ameelynn - I agree with many of the other posters that your anxiety is just pre-trip jitters that will pass once you're on your way. I think you have plenty of money saved and should be fine on that score. Would it be possible to cut your trip back a bit to say two weeks in order to help with the money - that way you wouldn't be completely broke and could perhaps take care of some bills or Chritmas with the extra money? Just a thought as to how you might compromise. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Thank you to all who have responded. I have spent much of the day thinking this over and have decided to take the trip.

I think that what I will do is wait until I get to Italy, see how easily I get acclimated, see how my money situation is, etc... and then consider scaling back to 2 weeks instead of 3. Of course, the airline (Swiss) may charge me a small fortune to bump my return flight up by a week, so I will have to keep this in mind as I consider costs, etc.

PS: On a completely unrelated topic, what is the recommended procedure when it comes to locking checked-in luggage? I have a couple of locks that I can use on my luggage, but not sure if I should use them or not.

I'm happy to hear that you are going to take the plunge...go for it and enjoy.

Until recently, you could not use locks on your checked luggage. There are now locks you can buy at travel stores that have a seal of approval from the TSA. There is a torch logo on the package.

Here is the website with info:
http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtrav...ant/locks.shtm

Enjoy your holiday and we look forward to hearing about it when you get back.

ameelynn1980, I think the main issue for you is the fact you're traveling alone. A few months ago the trip to Italy seemed like a great getaway but as the date nears you have cold feet. Yes, I've been in your shoes. Usually I get my husband to go along in the end. But I've done a couple of short solo trips and while it's a bit unnerving at first I got over it quickly and just concentrated on the destination I waited so long to visit.

I'm glad you decided to go and really when you arrive you will not regret it. Later on you will feel happy that you accomplished solo travel.

Glad you made your decision and even "gladder" that you're thinking of cutting it short. That would be my opinion.

I never lock my luggage for the flight. But then, I never bring anything I would be upset about if I were to lose it. You need to get TSA approved locks if you really want locks. I only lock when I'm on a train for a few hours and I'll need to go to the bathroom, etc.

No , locks aren't necessary...and I don't think security likes them. To keep the zippers from separating I always use the large size heavier paper clip and thread it through the two little holes where the zippers meet.
Since a lot of suitcases look alike we put a big neon green strap around the suitcase(made for that purpose). This keeps it together.....but also draws attention.(?) A few times there has been a card on the inside of the luggage telling us that security hand checked it.....but I haven't heard of this happening much lately. Perhaps!???
You will be fine and I KNOW you'll have a great trip.
You are guest in their country and things might be different....but we don't fly "across the pond' to have things like they are in America. It's a fun adventure...
And mainly~~~KEEP A SENSE OF HUMOR!

ameelynn, I admire your spunk...where are you going in Italy and have you traveled solo before? If I may ask also,have you been oversees often? I would love to read your trip report...I hope you meet some interesting people..good idea to call them and ask about shortening to two weeks...

ameelynn, glad you're going on your trip to Italy. And you're not alone in your pre-trip jitters.

I'm having them right now. I have a flight tomorrow night, and I feel like I have a ton of unfinished business at home and at the office, which causes me to have jitters. But I also know that once I'm on that plane, there's nothing else I can do, so might as well enjoy my time there.

For your luggage, I agree with the other posters, get a TSA lock if you have to check luggage, and you should be set. When you're on the rails, keep a close eye on your luggage.

You'll do fine on your trip. Have fun, and don't bother cutting back on your time there unless you absolutely have to. And don't worry about not booking tours. I have never found myself sitting around doing nothing while on vacation. Especially Italy. You'd be hard pressed.

And just to let you know I did an enormous amount of research on my trip to New York once, organised my flights and accommodation and paid for them all on my credit card ( I did have the money but wanted the points). Then I pulled out and have regretted it ever since. I didn't lose out financially as it happens but when the date came around when I was supposed to have left I really felt miserable. So I am going to Italy next year come what may and I will definitely plan again for New York in the future. So go and enjoy yourself. Life is too short!

Oh whew! I'm so glad you decided to go. I read down through the thread and almost shouted aloud when I read your decision to go for it.

Pretrip anxiety is common. Don't forget to pack your sense of humor, roll with the punches, savor every moment and please post a trip report when you return!

Hi Aimeelyn - I'm wondering if this is your first solo travel and thinking it's a good idea that you have decided to cut your trip in half....that way you'll know whether solo travel is for you or not...and also will feel better about the money you'll be spending...( I do hope you have taken out travel insurance: never travel without it in case you have to cancel things)....I have done solo travel quite a bit...not because I always wanted to but refused to sit home if others couldn't go - and I always met people to talk to,sometimes went site seeing with other gals I met who were also traveling alone...not difficult to start up a conversation while you are queing on line...or sitting on a bus siteseeing,and a friendly smile and face is a good thing to sport...although I'd be careful at smiling at men in a foreign country LOL!

I did cancel a trip once though. I tend to go by gut feelings...and it was the August that London's subways were attacked by you know who a couple of years ago - I just didnt have a good feeling about going there at that time and waited til the next year - but as a matter of fact I would not fly into London now and know several other people who feel the same way.

Anyway, go by your gut intuition, I think you've done the right thing, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. (Tip: the hotel concierge's can always give good advice for a good restaurant, or best places to go, or safety tips.

Have a great time.

Nerves. Fear of the unknown. (including possible terrorist attacks) Finances. Leaving your home. These are all emotions that go through my head a few days before I leave.

Mahya didn't go to London because of the terrorist attacks. A lot of people didn't. I did. I was there the whole four weeks taking a course next to Green Park. It was a perfect August in every way. Great weather, fewer people in London, lots of police so I felt very secure after the first two days and very nice locals.

Glad I went.

About luggage security:
We buy plastic ties - available in Walmart - and attach them to our luggage. Noone can get in the luggage without cutting them. Security at the airport can cut them easily if needed.
Usually we get to our destination and they are still intact.
We put blunt small scissors in the side pocket of the suitcase to cut them off - be sure you don't pack the scissors inside the suitcase!

Frankly, you haven't saved any money at all for the trip -- you have merely diverted funds for another use.

<i><b>I could put that to better use paying off some past due debts, getting caught up on bills</b></i>

In such circumstances, I would certainly not be traveling, at least on an ambitious trip.

Ameelyn,

I would tell you to go but if you have past due bills, I would take care of those problems first.

When I am on vacation I don't want to worry about bills and what have you. I don't go on vacation unless I have money to pay for everything when I get back.

Traveling solo is not a problem, I did it for years and without a guide book. I remember my first trip to Venice byself and I had the best time just walking around and being thankful that I was in such a beautiful city.

Good Luck with your decision, if you decide to go have a great time!

I've never done this but I've never planned such expensive trips in comparison to my income. In fact, I've never gone into debt for one penny for a vacation, even when I was young and not earning much. I don't believ in debt except for things that you can't buy without it (which is pretty much only a house or maybe a college education). I've never owed credit card debt in my life, either, because I never buy things I don't have the money to pay for. I think you blow too much money irresponsibly and it's a pattern if you owe any money and you think you need thousands of dollars for Christmas. No one should spend that much money on Christmas presents. I'll admit I come from a family that just doesn't do those kind of things, so it has always seemed odd to me to buy a lot of presents for holidays or go into debt for Christmas presents.

So, I think you need to re-think your fiscal picture and how you spend money, but cutting the trip short if you need do sounds like a compromise. Sort of, as you said, you can't usually change plane reservations that easy and that could cost a bundle. If you just cancel a flight, you usually can apply it to another ticket with a change fee of maybe $100. I think you can get a refund on a railpass if it isn't used at all.

Hi ameelynn:
I would cancel the rent-a-car, there's no pre-booking/cancellation charge, &amp; take the local trains &amp; buses, which are excellent &amp; a great way to meet &amp; see others. Also, if your traveling solo, a better place to stay where other solos stay and are friendly are the hostels. Cancelling within a decent time-frame will not cost any cancellation fees. Third, Do the local tour group route, rather than hiring a driver. And lastly, I can't imagine spending any where near your exuberant $3,000-$4000 in 20 days! The hostels are 20E-25E with breakfast compared to 50-75E, which is nopt going to be much better of a hotel at that price. So I strongly suggest you adjust your plans, and be adventurous as it's incrediably easy to get around in Italy. And Tuscany is a bike-used area were yu can meet and greet eople. One last thing,watch for the 'slow' count at different places, it's where the cashier goes slow in giving you change, and stops, mid-way, hoping you'll think that's it. And the cafeteria-style restaurants, tatotia(?) where they put the food on your plate at the display case, it's sold by weight and they LOVE to pile it on let them remove too much before they give you the plate, otherwise yu'll pay dearly for too much food.

I am really surprised by some of the responses. What is basicly a question about dealing with pretrip anxiety with a side comment about unpaid bills, has opened the door to some severe lectures and pontificating on financial management. Give her a break. You don't know her financial background. Her casual remark about past dued bills hardly indicates someone on he edge of bankruptcy. She obviously has enough financial skills to accumulate the thousands of dollars needed for the trip. The last thing she needs is posters trying to lay a guilt trip on her for going because she has some upaid bills/

Every trip I have made is a spending priority decision. And even those with the pompous attitude do exactly the same thing. Without 300 days of European travel my savings account would be substantially larger, my mortgage could have been paid off sooner, the car payments shorter. etc. ---- And memory bank would be much lower.

So, lets not suggest that any of us knows how to better spend her money. And add to her anxiety.

<b>She obviously has enough financial skills to accumulate the thousands of dollars needed for the trip.</b>

No, she obviously hasn't. &quot;Past due debts&quot; and a big plan for a trip to Italy do not indicate financial skills. She has not accumulated any money. She has accumulated (past due) debts.

Kerouac, you have no idea what she has or has not done. Until I have more information, I will take her words a face value. How can you be so quick to judge on such limited information?

Which of the 3 words &quot;past due debts&quot; do you not understand?

I have no intention of giving advice on your personal financial situation, but I will say MANY people have a &quot;Why did I think up this crazy idea?&quot; type of anxiety a few days before a major trip.

now you know why she only has 7 posts...Ameelynn change your name again..

.I really think it is important to figure in her age(experience) where she was planning to go( if Naples etc.which is not so great for single women),if her itinerary is doable,and if she has gone solo before...
Only then can we can offer advice.She either needs reassurance or a reality check.
Come on people even if you are right ,her finances are none of our business..

To the question posed in the title of this thread... No I have not ever booked a trip then decided not to go myself.

Hello. Thanks to everyone for their comments and advice. As I mentioned yesterday, I have decided to take the trip, but am scaling it back by one week. I just got off the phone with the airline and have changed my reservation. This will allow me to return home a little earlier, and I will be able to apply some of the money from the trip towards bills, etc.

Thanks again.