Do you "vant to be alone"?
 

So many threads lately of solo women travelers make me wonder how many women actually travel alone. Is is because you want to or because circumstances work out that it is "better than not going"? How do you find it different than traveling with the same or opposite sex. Any interesting ideas on this?

Yes I love to travel alone so it is by choice. I am probably a little selfish but I have had too many trips ruined by companions, even those I thought I knew well. You really get to know people on trips together and not always for the best. So, yes, most of the time I vant to be alone.

hi<BR><BR>would also be interested in how many men solo travelers there are... maybe it's just me, but I know of many more women who go it alone. (or maybe they are just more noticeable as it is slightly unusual?)<BR><BR>are your reasons the same? are you more or less likely to wait for a buddy to go with you?<BR><BR>anecdotally, I know of many more women who volunteer - they seem more likely to 'get out there' and do something unusual with their free time if they are single. just curious.<BR><BR>good topic.<BR><BR>Sue

If the young lady vants to be alone, let her ve alone for Pete's Sake. Ve independent and enjoy ve world !...:)

reasons "depend" I would imagine, it does for me.<BR>I have to be pretty close to someone and find that I know him/her very well in order to want to travel with that person (or decide that I don't want to!)<BR>I have some wonderful friends with whom I know for sure I would NOT want to travel, ditto past and present romantic friends. I know some marrieds who prefer not to travel with spouses--either spouses don't like to travel, or their schedules don't always permit them both being away at the same time (kids,work, etc).<BR>The great thing about traveling alone is obviously the independence, the being in control, the not having to answer to anyone else. Leaves me free to go find the obscure little historical hole-in-the-wall that only I would want to find.<BR>On the other hand, when I do travel with a good companion, I love the sharing aspect, someone to turn to and say "isn't this great?!" And travel can be pretty romantic, if the <BR>rental car don't break down.

I started out (many years ago) traveling alone, because it was either go alone or not go. I found to my amazement that I loved traveling solo. I have since had several opportunities for for companions -- both male and female -- and have managed to wiggle out. Maybe someday I'll give it a try, but I really don't think so. . .

I travel alone, and right now in my life, I wouldn't have it any other way (I have firmly told my friends that I am going alone, when they suggest maybe they can tag along. :) ) <BR><BR>There are many reasons, some mentioned previously. Here are a few of mine:<BR><BR>1. Planning is a LOT easier. You stay where you want to stay, and don't need to consult anyone on the itinerary. This is especially nice when you are planning a trip "on the fly".<BR><BR>2. If you can get the nerve to go into a bar by yourself (and always sit AT the bar) it's far easier to meet people, both tourists and locals alike. I am 29 years old, and that probably makes it even easier to meet people, as I see a lot of people who are in their 20's-30's traveling alone.<BR><BR>3. Yeah, you pay more overall, but you have a room to yourself...very convenient if you find a studly native to have a romantic evening with. =P<BR><BR>I have been to Australia alone (my first big trip solo) and have done some ski trips alone. In the next year, I will be going to Ireland, then Spain solo. Traveling with other people is definitely fun...but traveling alone is something really special.

hi<BR><BR>would also be interested in how many men solo travelers there are... maybe it's just me, but I know of many more women who go it alone. (or maybe they are just more noticeable as it is slightly unusual?)<BR><BR>are your reasons the same? are you more or less likely to wait for a buddy to go with you?<BR><BR>anecdotally, I know of many more women who volunteer - they seem more likely to 'get out there' and do something unusual with their free time if they are single. just curious.<BR><BR>good topic.<BR><BR>Sue

vy is it, that some people will let you do the traveling, shrug their shoulders when you ask them their preferences, then complain or dislike what you've picked to see/do? Grrrr. I can definitely understand the urge to go solo.

vy is it, that some people will let you do the travel planning, shrug their shoulders when you ask them their preferences, then complain or dislike what you've picked to see/do? Grrrr. I can definitely understand the urge to go solo.

I was married very happily for 20 years and my husband and I travelled together very well (after the initial settling in period). After he died when I was still very young, (well relative to now- I'm 75), I just didn't want to sit but somehow thought a girlfriend would be "second best" after my special travelling buddy. <BR><BR>Alone is better for me because I can do as I wish when I wish. I like to "people watch" in hotel lobbies or cafes and happily will chat to others on trains if they seem so inclined.As an "old broad" I am considered "safe" for young people, both male and female to talk to. I always travel with a very good novel for quiet times. <BR><BR>I have met and stayed in contact with young pals from all over the world by smiling at folks with rings in their noses and orange hair- they are often willing to confide loneliness and missing parents to me in a way I think they would hesitate to do with younger people. They also appreciate my travel tips as I like they am on a budget-I know working mens' cafes and tavla caldas in 13 countries. <BR><BR>I'm not quite ready to hang up my back-pack and sneakers yet and I am happy to see my friends when I return...they think I am a lunatic for roughing it at my age. <BR><BR>But I just smile and go and pick up another email from Kiri, the doctor from Turkey or Lee, the journalist from Japan or Mary the artist from Dublin or Jamie, the meterological physicist from Peru...how else would I have made such wonderful contacts at my age-I have been invited to 5 weddings and have not one but two babies named after me!

Lynn, because of your self-confidence and strong inner spirit you live life to the fullest.<BR><BR>You're truly a remarkable person.

Lynn, wow, or should I say, vow, how exciting to read your post! You give me hope, I have the old mindset that people will ignore me as an eccentric if I travel alone. You have given me a new perspective. I admire you, too.

My first trip abroad was solo and it was last summer. Circumstances for a couple of years did not allow my husband and I to travel together at the same time and I thought that if I didn't go alone, I might never get to go at all.<BR>Travelling solo was quite an experience for me. I met people from all over the world and found that I was more prepared than I thought for travelling alone. I arranged alot of the trip in advance and had some wonderful tour guides in Italy and met some terrific people through them and so I didn't feel alone. Being able to plan my time and see and do exactly what I wanted was quite wonderful. It was also wonderful to see my entire family waiting for me at the airport upon my return. The only thing I didn't absolutely love about travelling solo was eating alone. This was very difficult for me. I was asked to join another woman travelling solo one night for dinner and that was wonderful. She left the following morning and then I decided to "re-arrange" my customary sit-down dinners for dinners of a less formal nature. <BR>Travelling solo was an experience born out of necessity for me, but one which I learned was a true gift.

Lynn, great post. Fantastic to know I've got years of solo travel left to look forward to...and be able to meet many kindred spirits in the process.

I prefer traveling solo for numerous reasons. One specifically is that my job demands a lot of interaction with editors and writers - debating, haggeling, compromising, etc, etc. Add to that the pressure of meeting weekly deadlines and the last thing I want to do on a vacation is have to be in "work mode". I did meet a friend in Rome last year which worked out great but I also spent time in Budapest alone. Vacation for me is about rejuvenation. <BR><BR>If I waited around for my friends to get it together so as to go I would probably be 65 years old - as it is we can hardly schedule getting together for dinner or a movie. <BR><BR>Another friend who had expressed interest in going to Prague with me has suddenly disappeared when time to purchase tickets and make hotel reservations - which has made me vow to never plan anything with this person again. I work to make things as simple and uncomplicated as possible - it seems to be easier traveling solo.

Did both, travel alone and with companion, male and female. <BR>Alone was okay, I got to do what I wanted, no schedule, no consultation about where to go and what to do, truly independent. <BR>With girl friend was also okay. However, make sure is not yours and hers same time of the month, hell can descend on earth without notice or warning and you can kiss you vacation goodbye. With boyfriend was the best! someone to share a romantic dinner, someone to share a passionate night in Paris or Rome, someone to travel the long road. I am a little skeptical about these ladies telling us how much they enjoyed being alone, eating alone, sleeping alone, walking the streets alone....

I learned to enjoy independent travel when I used to travel for work, and would occasionally be out of town over a weekend. I missed the kids, but it was SO nice to not be responsible for anyone's needs and preferences but my own!<BR><BR>Now, I prefer to travel solo unless I can find a companion whose travel style and preferences are similar to my own.

Count me in as another woman who prefers travelling alone. I find it very liberating and I've met very interesting people. I've taken three trips abroad so far, only one of which I took alone and I definitely had the most fun on the solo trip. I'll be doing another solo trip to London in a couple of weeks.

This is an interesting thread. I don't think anyone in my family has ever chosen to travel alone. They would rather forego the trip or complain that they can't travel because of no suitable companion. It must be so freeing to be able to state that you would travel overseas alone and then enjoy it while you are there. My hat's off to you all. I am still working up the nerve myself.

Lorie:<BR><BR>I am passionate about this subject, so I am posting again. While I certainly agree that many women would love to go on vacation with a man they care about and have it be a “romantic” get-away, it is hard to find that someone. Even a man who is great when you’re home often isn’t the best travel companion. And even when he IS a good travel companion, there is always some degree of compromise and of “what do you want to do” that occurs (if you’re a considerate person) so it’s not always 100% liberating and relaxing.<BR><BR>I LOVE to travel alone. No, it is not always fun. Yes, it is sometimes lonely. If it gets lonely enough, sometimes you might cry…but fortunately, no one is around to witness your embarrassment. And if someone IS around, he/she usually has a sympathetic word to say, and maybe a good story to tell that you would have never heard otherwise. <BR><BR>Traveling alone is not for every woman. Eating alone gets easier, but is never 100% easy. I personally enjoy it when things don’t go perfectly on my trips…I write about them to an audience, and it’s a lot more fun to write about a misadventure. If you go with an attitude that there is humor in everything, you’re that much better off. Women/men who are observant and love to people watch are also ahead of the game.<BR><BR>I have noticed certain women who travel alone are really never alone for very long. They can be of any age (as you can see from Lynn’s post) and are not always “conventionally” attractive. These women have a certain “je ne sais quoi” about them… you are curious as to why they are alone, and she’s more than just a passing thought. Some are effervescent, others are more mysterious…but the aura is still the same. These women know when they truly want to be alone, or can easily smile at a stranger and make friends. <BR><BR>I’m not trying to romanticize solo travel. But I can honestly say I enjoy being alone, eating alone, sleeping alone, and walking the streets alone. <BR>

I don't think that people traveling solo equates to wanting to be alone. The circumstance where one find oneself alone may come out of choice, out of necessity or perhaps both. One can travel solo and not be alone for one can think the whole world is their companion. On the other hand, one can have a companion and yet feel alone. I personally think it's an individual feeling or circumstance.

I have felt more alone with someone I didn't want to be with than if I were by myself. At least I don't pout or argue with myself. And yes, when your travel partner has no original ideas, but critizes yours, is the worse. My friend's cousin was the bad addition to our trip a few years ago, she was such a pill, I would rather have been alone.<BR>Yes too the best circumstances and partner isn't always available, so you can sit home or go on your own. But remember life is short and there are no guarentees of the future.

I'm another male that has discovered solo travel. I finally got tired of waiting to find that special person to travel with (the ultimate compatability test), and my friends either seemed uninterested in going where I wanted to go or couldn't actually afford to travel. So last year I just decided to enough was enough and planned and booked a trip to Japan for two weeks by myself. I had a great time! In fact it was very liberating to go at my own pace and do all the things I wanted to do. Next week I'm off to France - also solo. I get a little nervous just before I leave wondering what unexpected problems I might run into, but I'm learning that there isn't very much I just can't handle.

I traveled solo the first time because if I didn't, I wasn't going to go. I travel solo now because never do I feel more confident in myself or more "me" than when I am in a foreign country on my own. Like many other posters, I have met wonderful people along the way that I would have never met otherwise,(including men, Lorrie) and I am a more enriched person because of those people.<BR>I can almost always find a companion for dinner or other things if I want to. <BR>Traveling with others is hard and can break a relationship. There are some people I would travel with in a heartbeat but not many. I have to compromise every day in my job and of course with family and friends, I enjoy the total control I have over what I do when I travel alone. And if I want to hang out with someone for a while, I can always meet someone to share a meal or spend time with when I choose to.

This is all fine, but I think you are very strong women, not all women are that strong or capable. I think I must be in a circle of very weak women in comparison, they would not even think of traveling without their spouses. <BR>I thank the men that posted here on this thread too, it is nice to get a man's take on traveling alone. <BR>Time for new friends, I guess.

Luanne, I don't think that because your friends wouldn't think about traveling without their spouses necessarily makes them weak...it's to each her own. ;)<BR><BR>Keep your friends...you'll need some ears back home to listen to all your crazy adventures. &lt;G&gt;<BR><BR>I'd love to meet a man someday that I wouldn't DREAM of traveling without, but I'm a bit cynical about that...or of meeting someone who would never DREAM of traveling without ME. :) <BR><BR>

Luanne -<BR>My first trip solo was fraught with self doubt - my second less so - third a little bit less - and so forth and so forth. I've discovered the joys of solo travel slowly but steadly. You grow into it.

Yes Mina, weak was the wrong word, scaredy cats is better. They won't even go to the market after dark in our own city. How could they walk around Europe alone? Not that I am Xena, myself, I shouldn't talk. Just that my friends seem to not travel anymore after they<BR>are widowed or divorced, they seem to be lost souls, waiting for, what?

Luanne, scaredy cats is a great phrase! Haven't heard it in a long time and it made me laugh.<BR><BR>Some people are perfectly content never to venture outside their comfort zone. Maybe your friends will start small one day...like going to the market after dark!<BR><BR>At some point, something just makes a lot of potential solo travelers say "@#*%&! this! I'm not going to wait anymore to see the world. I'm going!" For me, it was a USA Today article on Australia...I had always wanted to see Australia, I knew I had plenty of unused vacation time, and I had the money. I booked everything (in three days!) without analyzing too much, and figured I'd muster up the balls later. <BR><BR>I still have a copy of that article, and it's quite sentimental!

Well my answer is really extremely simple... I AM single (48, female, American)... I live alone, always have. So when it comes time for travel certainly if a friend(s) or relative is interested and available, well off we go together. If not, then off I go alone.<BR><BR>I think it is easier for single people to travel alone (than those normally part of a couple traveling solo). I LIKE and am used to my own company. For me to eat dinner at a nice restaurant solo is no big deal, and certainly won't be the 1st or last time it happens.<BR><BR>Another perk of traveling alone (male or female) is you have no one to compromise or argue with. I do exactly as I want. Heaven forbid you take the wrong train, get lost, take the vaporetto in the opposite direction, whatever. You fix it yourself. Or you find a cafe and drink some wine. No blame. I am ENDLESSLY amused eavesdropping on couples fighting and blaming each other about the silliest little things when they travel together.

I travel both ways and both have their unique qualities. For me, traveling alone is a far more introspective experience. I take in more of my surroundings and observe more. It is easy enough to meet people, if one so chooses. I can waste time on something that may not turn out to be too exciting, since I'm not wasting anyone else's time with it. There are no compromises to make. Interactions with other people take on a different significance when a person is alone, since one is focused entirely on the interaction vs. dividing it with a companion. If I want to concentrate on something like getting some great photos, going alone is definitely the very best way to go. On the other hand, it is a lot of fun to be able to share experiences, too. Traveling alone may represent a more substantial barrier to most women than it would for many men (I'm in a poor position to evaluate that.) But to me, it speaks volumes about those who enrich their lives that way! (I LOVED Lynn's post!)

I agree with you all. I still remember to this day the places I have skipped or been rushed through because my traveling companions weren't interested.<BR>On one hand it is nice to share things with and have an extra pair of eyes for signs, etc., especially at the train stations. On the other hand it is nice to come and go and stop and eat and sleep and sightsee when I please.

Luanne - <BR><BR>Are you saying that your friends wouldn't even travel with other single friends, but would only travel with a husband, and now that they are widowed or divorced, have simply given up travel?

Reading these inspiring posts raises a big question to me.<BR> The question is, for how long do you travel on your own.<BR>I am half of a couple that travels ridiculously well together because we are both capable of laughing at ourselves over the mistakes we make.<BR>I do travel on my own every year (but not to Europe), because for some reason my wife does not enjoy riding on the back of a motorbike through the rain to pitch a tent in the mud for bedtime. Since I am used to being part of a couple, I find that talking to myself becomes boring after a few days, and I start to miss the companionship.<BR>I am wondering if those who live alone are able to travel alone for longer periods. Also what is the added stress if any of travelling alone in a country where communication with locals is limited to 'phrasebookology'.

As a female scuba diver without scuba diving friends I sometimes travel for diving alone. Its either go it alone or don't go at all. I don't want to drag a non-diving friend with when I will be gone for about 5 hours or more a day on the dive boat. Ya it gets a little boring at night but I enjoy the peace and time to myself.

I love reading about all the people who don't mind travelling alone. I haven't done it, but it looks like I'm going to have to. It's something that's very important to me, and it's hard for me to meet people who feel the same way.<BR><BR>I do believe that in general, more women are comfortable traveling alone than men. Very few men seem to be able to do well on their own. Take, for example, how quickly men tend to remarry after divorce. I think women stay single longer. Maybe men settle for someone much sooner than women, whilst women are more comfortable waiting for the right person. I haven't seen that many men travelling alone.

Rand - I have traveled alone for 3.5 weeks in Australia, and will be in Ireland for two weeks solo. Also am working towards staying in Spain alone for two months. I love not to have to hear my own voice for days.<BR><BR>I don't have a significant other to miss, but if I did, it certainly would be harder to travel for long periods away from him. You are certainly lucky.<BR><BR>As you can see, I started "easy" by going to English speaking countries. Spain will be my first foray into a country where English isn't the "first" language. I'm brushing up on my Spanish (semi fluent, but can't hold a long conversation) now, and hope to learn Catalan as well. At some point, I believe it will be interesting to travel solo somewhere where English is hardly spoken. But I'll work up to the challenge a little at a time.<BR><BR>Greta, I feel your pain...I'm certified and none of my friends are. I keep begging them to just fork over the money and do it!<BR><BR>Women have an advantage over men when traveling alone (except for safely, and those issues). I don't remember the last time I saw a solo male traveler sitting at a bar, and some other guy approaching him and saying "Dude, I see you're alone, let me buy you a beer." Solo men travelers tend to have to make more of an effort, while women usually have to fend off some of the more forward men!

I've travelled all kinds of ways as far as companionship goes, and I have to say....<BR>I LOOOOOVE solo!<BR>I've had great travel companions, and it's been a lot of fun, and I've had (ahem) other kinds of travel companions, and I've had fun anyway, but there's just something special about making your own way and soaking a place in through all of your senses.<BR>The longest I've been so far is two weeks, but I'm eagerly anticipating my three upcoming weeks in Vietnam and Cambodia...all by myself.<BR>(And no, I don't work in a solitary kind of job or live alone; that's one of the reasons, I think, that I really, really enjoy travelling alone. ;-)

I discovered the joys of solo traveling after taking my first trip to Europe in 1980 with my mother. It's been solo travel ever since. Thanks, Mom, for breaking me in early!