Thank you everyone for your suggestions!

Sue, I really don't mean to sneer, or criticise, or attack my husband. I'm just a little surprised and frustrated with our situation.

Oh Scarlett, you made me laugh with your mention of paint chips! Paint chips are a big part of our lives as DH is in the home improvement business. He is always coming across new paint colours and finishes that he wants to try in our home. We've had a few..ahem...disagreements over some of his more outrageous ideas.

easytraveller, I know I should leave it up to him, but how I love planning. I have this image of DH trying to physically pry the guidebooks out of my hands, lol.

dln, I love your idea of splitting the trip. I'm going to talk to him about just that! And you're right, he says he would love for me to see all of Europe (most of our trips have been within Canada, plus one time to Paris together)because I talk about it so much.

wlzmatilda, he is definately suffering from the "we won't get back to Europe for a loooong time" heebee-jeebees. It is still a little odd for him to go from slow to fast travel, though. I thought most people did it the other way around!

Rufus, you are right, and I really don't look down on fast moving trips at all. I'm just the type of person who wants to see every museum, church, historic building, etc. that any given city has to offer. So I like fewer destinations, but with aggressive sightseeing within those destinations. DH is more of a "sit and have a beer at a cafe all afternoon" type. I guess he's changed in that he'd like to do that for a couple of days in many places, as opposed to many days in one place.

uhoh busted, the big joke is that I don't think he's ever heard of Rick Steves! I just associate whirlwind itineraries with Steves so that was my own slang useage ("got all Rick Steves on me"). I don't like Rick's itineraries but I agree he is good for stuff like laundry and directions.

ira, lol! The even bigger joke is, he's only 31! (the opera company years were his misspent early twenties) But all of his friends are starting to get bald spots (he's been lucky so far) so maybe this is some sort of early midlife crisis. I will show him your note- DH has often commented on my incanny female ability to remember with exact detail every wrong thing he has ever said or done. :D

You mention 5 places your husband would like to visit, plus you would rather visit Florence or Rome.

Why not knock Paris off the list? (you have been there) Then visit Florence or Rome and two of the 4 places your husband would like to visit. A week in each of three cities should be pleasent for both of you.

Keith
(who travels alone)

northerngirl, thanks for sharing your experience. Sounds like your trip turned out very well!

And I promise not to nag my poor DH! I admit I always wished he would show more interest in planning in the past. I'm going to be positive about this and have fun planning a trip with the man I love.
All of this reminds me of a standup comic I once saw, he said that since getting married he's had to learn to comprimise. Like when she wanted to paint the bedroom blue, and he wanted to paint it yellow, so they comprimised, and painted it blue. He wanted to go camping, she wanted to go to Niagara Falls, so they comprimised, and went to Niagara falls.

Hi Kay

I am sorry, I forgot that in a happy marriage, no partner ever criticizes the other, they just praise each other whilst brandishing a rolling pin. :)

As one whose typical travel speed more approximates tennis than cribbage, I have some empathy for your husband. Moreover, I discovered in college that I retained information better if I read something quickly 3 times than if I tried to read it in depth once. So for me, visiting a place briefly IS the way to get the best out of it, not **despite** my intentions to return but **because** I plan to return. I do dislike long commutes, but providing the commuting time between stops is kept to 2 or 3 hours, I could visit a lot of places and never feel rushed. And I love the wonderful sense of space and time that can be appreciated only if one moves around.

This is why I'm pretty sure that you both have something to contribute. Besides, rolling pins get heavy after awhile. :) Bon voyage.

Thanks, Sue. The image of the rolling pin made me laugh. "The Rolling Pin of Damacles"...I like what you said about the sense of space and time. I think I'm slowly becoming more open minded about how our trip can unfold.

Keith, you suggested a very sensible plan. Also, I'm becoming more and more interested in the idea of traveling alone, not because I don't want to travel with DH but just... because. There have been some marvelous trip reports here by people who go alone.

Kay, I may have misinterpreted, but has your only trip to Europe been to Paris? If that's the case, and if he has spent more time in Europe, maybe he's suggesting this whirlwind, see-everything trip because he's trying to please you--since it's your first time he wants to share it all with you. Rather sweet, actually. Having said that I would go nuts if my husband did that! He shows absolutely no interest in the trip until we're on the plane, then he starts asking about the itinerary I have so carefully planned. I like it that way!

That's right, Jocelyn. I've been to Europe once (Paris with DH), but he's been a few times to various countries. He really is very sweet, and I do believe his desire is for me to see as much of Europe as possible.

Your comment about your husband only asking about your itinerary on the plane made me laugh. My DH used to only ask about it after we had an argument, because he knows that discussing hotels, restaurants, museums and the like puts me in a good mood! Last year we went to Quebec City for Christmas, and in the weeks leading up to the trip, whenever we had a spat, later that same day he would ask me about where we'd be eating, or ask to see the hotel website, things like that. Works every time!

I actually think we may be headed towards an agreement on our itinerary. When we do, I'll bother everyone again and ask for feedback. This forum is amazing, thank you everyone for your help!

Yes. My son and I went to Paris and Italy, my wife and daughter went to Honolulu. We were all happy.