But Aggiemom - keep in mind... the people on this board are a small group that have decided travel is a priority - and our kids have traveled extensively as a consequence. We're not the norm. Coupled with the Natalie Holloway situation, lots of parents are going to revert to being very protective. And personally, travel by car is the hardest one to for me to deal with. Good luck.

My girlfriends and I would drive to Palm Springs alone when we were teens but that was about it until I was about 20.

My son would fly alone to visit his dad when he was about 8, since then he has been a fearless flyer.

When he was about 17 he would drive across two states alone to visit same dad. The only thing he worried about on those drives was if a sandstorm or a tumbleweed would hit his car. I would make him call when he arrived and call when he left to come home, then I would calculate the ETA and Start To Worry schedules. Once he stayed for hours at a truck stop because he didn't want to drive his prized car in a wind storm, and I went into the STW mode.

My son has been flying by himself every summer since he was 7. He was listed as an UM so that the airline watched over him and escorted him to his gate or to the person receiving him at his destination. We did that until he was about 10, then he was fine on his own, dealing with delays and even a missed flight..(thank God for cell phones). His first European vacation was at 12. He is now 17 and I've been encouraging him to consider studying abroad when he goes to college.

Allie_go will be flying solo to visit her grandparents (Bob the Nav & Mrs. Nav) in a couple of weeks. She is 12, and this will be her first time.

If she wants to go on a trip of her own with her friends, I'll probably let her do it when she's 18. It depends on the trip and on the friends.

As for an "actual vacation" on her own, that one's easy. When she's no longer living under my roof, and can pay for the trip herself.

Heck, I'm in my 60's and my mother still worries about me when I travel and I worry when my two 30-something boys travel with their wives. It's a parents nature to be concern about the welfare of their children no matter how old they get. The reality is they are going to leave the nest someday and you have to prepare them as well as yourself for that eventuality. Funny thing, while they were away at college we never worried about where they were or what they were doing except when they came home for the holidays or semester break - then the worring would start anytime they'd go out. All that said, I started travelling alone when I was in my teens. We let our boys travel on their own around the time they got their driver's licenses. I agree with others that the decision as to when to allow your children to travel without adult supervision is different for every family. There are no set rules and one has to do what feels right for them.

I "had" to allow them to travel on their own when they felt they are ready. I did my best to teach them from the early age how to, but I would never ever encourage them to travel alone at any age!

Summer camps come to mind. And the younger one went to Europe alone at 19.

I too am not a parent but as a 30 year old thought I would give my thoughts:
I travelled to summer camp with my twin sisters who are a year older since the age of seven. I was very interested in travel, coming by it honestly from my parents. I left a small town in Nova Scotia at 19 to be a nanny in Orlando and promptly moved to Amsterdam and travelled Europe for a year after that. My parents were the type that I was not allowed to sleep over or take trips with friends or go on spring break to lay on a beach all day and drink all night, but showing intiative and maturity in planning my journey to Europe, I beleive they were not worried. I guess what I am saying is that I echo the sentiments of other posters in that it is not your age so much as it is the person and their maturity level. As I sit in the airport waiting to board a plane to London on a trip alone, I cant help but replan my journey to avoid some of the train stations that were closed today due to bombings. Traveling requires thought, preparation, a sense of adventure and maturity. What age do we possess those traits? It depends on you life experiences.

Hey seas - stay safe in London.

Thanks for your thoughts. I, too, think it depends on the child. I think you have to find the right balance of protection versus adventure and independence. I think you have to set it up sometimes so that your children (early on) can make stupid mistakes and stupid decisions but still live to learn from them. Parenting can be tough....

My kids are 11 and 12 right now and I have a hard time thinking of them traveling without me someday. I am protective and it seems the world is getting uglier these days.
I traveled on a highschool tour at age 15 to Europe. There were chaperones, but I only saw them getting on planes, trains and buses. We were free to roam the cities of Paris, London, Nice, Geneva, etcc... Thank God I was a teen with a good head on my shoulders. That doesn't mean we didn't do some stupid things and have some fun.
I traveled on my own at 17 to Fort Lauderdale for Spring Break. It was even too wild for me.
I love to travel and have taken my kids many places.
At 18, they are adults essentially. Hopefully, they will be the same smart kids they are today. I am sure they will be more savvy travelers than I ever was!

We sent each of our girls to work on their uncle's ranch in Montana from Toronto when they were 12 and 13. They spent a good part of the summer there.My eldest moved to London at 18 to work as a barmaid and then to Scotland, travelling Europe and then Australia to work in the outback for a year and my youngest did the same trip to Aust for a year at 20.I was their biggest fan because I travelled Europe back in the '70s (hitchhiking) and gained lots of experiences I never forgot. Pushed them I did and they came back with an education you can't get in school. They did fine and went on to graduate from Univ. and now work in good jobs but that travel lust never leaves you be.

This is very topical for my family. My 14 yr old daughter (MD)is spending Sept - Dec in Toronto. She will stay with my brother and go to school with her cousin for the first term.

I feel relaxed about this as she has done this flight with us many times (twice in the past 4 years). I was a little concerned about the transferring from Qantas to AA at LAX as it is such a rigamore and have arranged for her to travel as an UM. She will be met and escorted at LAX and YYZ. She is a bit disappointed she can't use the lounge as she loves the showers but she will cope. :)

MD started flying by herself when she was 5 - only 1 hour flights between Melbourne & Sydney. The only problem she has ever had was when the airline put bubble gum in the kids meal and she exploded a bubble all over her face!
We are meeting her for Xmas and heading off to Tanzania, South Africa & home.

I went to Europe with a friend when I was 17. We handled a lot of disasters quite well - having my passport stolen in Rome and my charter went bankrupt and I had to get to Brussels (from Paris) by myself only to find the Canadian organised rescue flight was full. I then made my own way to Luxembourg and caught a flight back to North America with Icelandic.

The important thing is to teach them not to panic, Keep all documents and tickets in a safe place, have contacts they can call(so much easier these days with mobile phones and email) and discuss the usual things - be wary of strangers, don't hesitate to ask people in authority for help (don't be shy and expect things to take care of themselves - you must be assertive) and use commonsense.

Dear Aggiemom: I just returned to the forum and read your comment about dealing with overprotective parents. Boy, can I relate to that!
I wrote earlier about taking our daughter along with us on our travels, and then allowing her to travel on her own to Cancun and Europe.
I got a lot of flak for my decisions from other moms, especially one who would not allow her daughter to do anything without supervision--forget about travel.
Our daughters began college at the same time, and guess which one almost flunked out first semester, acquired an STD, drank excessively and did drugs? (Not mine---although I'm not trying to paint her as some kind of an angel either.)
One way to teach responsibility is to find ways to make your child responsible and independent, and travel really drives that home. After maneuvering through airports and subways and foreign countries, my daughter was able to maneuver very well around a huge university. She is a senior now, double majoring in English lit and Medieval Studies, with a minor in history, and planning on grad school. Guess where she came up with those interests? From visiting Canterbury, Segovia, Stratford-upon-Avon, Notre Dame, and Hastings Battlefield--and countless other places with a great deal of history, literary associations, architecture, and art.
Anyway, my point is that you have to parent your way, and not to meet anybody else's standards. Nobody cares more about your child than you do. If you child is not mature or responsible enough to travel solo, don't allow it. But, if you believe your child can handle it, and benefit from it, then follow your own heart.
PS: I have a deal with my best friend as far as parenting---I won't tell her how to raise your child if she doesn't tell me how to raise mine. It works perfectly.
PPS: Yes, bad things can happen. Look at London today. I've had to hear all day from MY mother how I should not be going to London later this month because it's too dangerous. I'm 55 years old.....
But bad things can happen at home, at school, at camp, crossing the street.

I see many kindred spirits here - those of you who traveled relatively young overseas without parents (I was 16 and with a school group but the chaperoning was pretty lame - and what a blast we had!!) and then encouraged your young ones to do the same.

Love hearing all the stories! Of course, there are times that I worry a little about my kids - my husband is more relaxed than me. I just remind myself that they are bright, level headed people and they'll figure it out.

Maureen - my daughter had her eyes opened when we went to Europe (Canterbury was a definite favorite) as a family a couple years ago. Now she'll be a sophomore studying international business. She'll be doing at least one semester and hopefully more somewhere in Europe. Her other friend wanted to join her for a semester but her mother "won't let her" even though the "girl" will be 21 at that time! (and it's not a matter of money) This friend now has a new boyfriend and I can already see what's coming....I think her mother needs to worry more about that!

Thanks again, all!

This is a long thread, so I won't add my entire saga, but I will say that I let both kids fly alone to Europe and the Caribbean (with friends) starting at 18. As they know, I do not encourage *driving* trips, however, and reserve the right to make their lives miserable if they suggest anything like a road trip. Statistics. They laugh that I am the only parent they know who is happier to see them fly to Europe than drive across state lines.

Hello aggiemom, interesting thread you started!!

Our daughter flew for the first time b herself from SFO to Long Beach CA to stay with her aunt & uncle and cousins. Of course flying was so much easier then as we did not have all the security rules.

Our daughter flew without us from SFO to Vancouver BC. She was 12 years old. She stayed with my husbands' godparents son and his 12 year old daughter. I was worried - oh yes - but she did fine. Even when things were not exactly perfect in Vacouver IMO as the girls had more freedom than I would have allowed. But our daughter came home so much more mature and shared stories with us and made some very good decisions in Vancouver.

The next year she flew from SFO to Washington DC to stay with her brother and his wife. Another wonderful month for her and I was more relaxed regarding that trip. She saw so much of our nation's capitol and again returned even more mature.

I agree that each child is different, personality wise, maturity, streetwise etc., so do not think that one rule should apply to all children.

But for a 21 year old to be dictated to by her parent as to whether she can travel or not seems strange to me. First of all that 21 year old girl is an adult. But perhaps there is more to the story then anyone knows. And maybe the parents feel if she is old enough to travel to Europe on her own she is old enough to earn her own money to do so. Some families that are in excellent financial positions to do not believe in just handing everything to their children that they want.

Anyway, my daughter was responsible and mature and I can definately say that travel broadened her horizions and gave her an interest and love for travel

aggiemom: You know I already posted, but reading all of the posts on this thread has reminded me of how my parents trusted me to make the right choices in life. I too had friends that went to college who were never allowed to do anything and they went nuts! My parents always gave me enough rope to hang myself (not literally of course).
I also remembered that at 10, I was traveling to stay with a friend's family alone for a week. I did this every summer for a few years. I never was afraid and looked forward to the adventure.
My mom grew up with parents that were not trusting and she was a good kid. She decided that she would trust us (unless we screwed up of course). We were all good kids. We did have fun, but our biggest fear was disappointing my parents.
Today, I am probably too overprotective myself. I doubt I will be as free as my mom, but I have great kids and they will most likely be traveling the globe before you know it.

Hi LoveItaly - I hope your personal life has calmed down. Wishing you and your family well.

Sounds like you have down well with childrearing, too.

In reference to this 21-year-old - her parents also "won't" let her get a job! She is spending an aimless (my opinion) summer outside of being sent to babysit her cousins for a couple of weeks in MD.

Artsfan - I think you have a good point - I, too, feel better when my kids don't spend long periods driving here. Thankfully, I quash my thoughts and let 'em go anyway.

I'm so glad my middle daughter has a pilot friend and has an opportunity to see so much of the world (for free, too - an incredible bonus!!) We didn't even get to see her when she returned from her whirlwind Caribbean trip as we were leaving for CA. And when we were coming home from CA, SHE was leaving to go to CA! She goes a couple times a year to see friends and stays at her BF's grandma's beach house in Newport. (Gosh, that kid has chosen some fun friends!)

Anyway, thanks again for all the stories. I'll keep encouraging our DDs to see and do as much as they can. Even in this terror age. Nobody is ever assured how much time we have on this earth and what a pity it would be to live in fear.

My daughter spent a semester in Switzerland as a sophomore in high school and all three children travelled to Antigua, Guatemala for Spanish language "immersion" while in high school and college.
M

In 1999, when we were in London with our then 9 & 12 year old sons, & couple years before, in Paris with our older son, we taught them how to read & use the metro/tube, & how to look at train schedules & to find the right tracks. Then a couple times we told them what site we were going to vist that day & let them pick the routes to get there & we followed them. They did well on that. The main reasoning being that if for some reason we got separated, the would know how to use the systems & not be afraid to use it. Now, they are 14 & 18, they also know, after our last trip, what it is like to get stuck & have to spend a night in the airport. They both know how to travel & how to act in certain situations, but I am still not sure if they would be able to recognize all the situations that they should be aware of, but depending upon the circumstances would let them travel without us. But for now, I don't think they are interested in traveling without us, since we do alot of traveling, & they usually like the places we go, & the advantages of having the parents pay, although the kids do have to pay for any souvenirs they may want.

Hi aggiemom, thanks for your thoughts, they are appreciated. Daughter & SIL are home from Rome and grandsons are of course back home too so life is more or less settled down here (except there is still a lot of turmoil with the family in Italy).

BTW, my husband was the one that felt the strongest about letting children travel on their own (if the were trustworthy children of course). His comment was that children were like dogs. Keep a dog on a chain all the time and when the do get free they will become impossible to control. He felt the same way about children. You need to "let loose" and allow them to grow and mature. Of course if we had had an immature or a problem child I know he would have not allowed travelling alone.

aggiemom, I can't even imagine parents telling a 21 year old that the can't get a job. Nor can I imagine a 21 year old buckling under to these kinds of demands. What a strange and sad story. Take good care.