At what age do you encourage your children to travel on their own?
 

I'm only looking for opinions, not advice.

I'm interested because I posted a question on the US board about my 18 year old daughter and her friends going on a short trip.

I'm assuming because this IS a travel board, the parents here would most likely encourage their kids to start young, but I'm still interested.

For instance, some examples:

what age can they fly alone?

what age can they go with their friends on a short car trip?

what age can they take an "actual vacation" (like a cruise, Caribbean, Europe) with friends?

DH and I are pretty liberal. Our girls have had their own FF numbers since they were tots and learned how to book flights, select seats, get boarding passes, check in very early on.

How about you?

Yes. our kids learned to love travel early and we permitted them to be independent fairly early. Daughter made the Spring break trip to Acapulco at 18, son booked a trip to London at about 20 and went on a cruise at about 21. They'd done enough travel with us by then, that we felt they could handle most travel-related things themselves. It's not the travel, though, that really worries you. It's the living life at that age that's risky. My son-in-law's Mom never let him leave the house without admonishing him to "Make smart choices." That's the big item, to wit, the whole Natalee Holloway thing.

I agree with Tiff, there's 18 and then there's 18. I think it depends on personality type and maturity, as well as life experience (was the child raised sheltered in a small town or with great freedoms in a big city?) not chronological age.

For me, I didn't get to travel internationally until I could pay for it myself, which meant after college.

hey what happened to the posts from Tiff & Robespierre? i swear they were here a second ago. i better go get another cup of coffee!

My steps have been traveling abroad with us since they were 12 and 14. Also - they have spent summers in NYC - so are used to dealing/navigating in big cities.

Both started traveling to europe on their own at 17 - the summer after high school - with friends - not alone. And have never had any major problems (other than the standard glitches and tourist issues).

One caveat: they have been doing this modestly on their own dime - either money from working or a little left to them by a grandmother. (But their dad does pay full freight - minus scholarships - for their college expenses.)

It all starts at about age 6, when you let them walk around the block on their own. It's all downhill from there. :)

Seriously -- my sister and my brother are sending their kids out to see me this summer, they're both flying alone for the first time, and they're 13 and 14. I think they'd let the little ones (9 & 10) fly alone if it wasn't for the fact that I can't meet them at the gate.

My folks let me drive with friends on short (1-hour) drives to the big city when I was about 17, and I flew to Brazil alone on a Rotary Exchange when I was 16, and I know plenty of people who let their kids go to Europe on a guided tour, with a few days at the end for "independent travel" when they were 16 & 17. I'd probably do the same with my kids.

I think it's really a question of maturity for your kids, and what you think is best. A wild child that can't stay out of trouble at home would not be the one I'd send off to Europe for the summer...under the assumption that they'd act the same over there, if not worse, without supervision.

Good question.

Jules

aggiemom, I think I'd have to be in my 90s before I encouraged my (hypothetical) children to travel on their own:)

Seriously tho', I first went overseas (flying) on my own at the age of 17. I would have little hestitation allowing a mature 16 year old to go; or stopping an immature 18 year old.

What's a "short" car trip? A day trip? or overnight?

I let my kids, now 15 and 18, fly alone starting when they were about 8-10 years old. They often flew to other US cities to visit cousins.

My daughter flew to France alone last summer and took a train to meet me in the Dordogne. She was 17 then. This summer she'll leave the Dordogne, go to Paris and spend a couple of nights on her own, and then travel back to the USA alone.

She also has taken numerous short trips alone and with friends to not-too-distant U.S. cities and has flown by herself all over the country to play in lacrosse tournaments and camps.

That said, my kids grew up traveling from the time they were in utero. It's second nature to them to be on planes and trains and in cars, navigating. They're great with maps, used to being in different cultures, and not phased by unforeseen circumstances. Travel has been a huge part of their lives. I have no problem with them traveling on their own because I'm confident they know how to do it. And cell phones are a godsend!

I went to Czechoslovakia by myself when I was 11 (my parents tell me there was much deliberation). My parents knew someone else going who sort of chaperoned me on the plane, and my grandmother met me in Prague. However, I was separated from my chaperone at customs/immigration, and had quite a time getting through as the Cold War was still fully in swing, and I did not know Czech (only Slovak) and no one at the time knew English (only other language was Russian). An interesting experience for an 11-year old!

Several road trips with friends beginning at age 16.

First really big road trip to Florida for Spring Break at 18.

Backpacking Europe for the first time alone at 21.

One scary thing is, looking back on the Spring Break trip, how many risky things we did on that trip. The Natalee Holloway case really hit home because it could have been us. One of my friends went on a 1-hour motorcycle ride with a stranger. My friend and I got into a car and hung out on the beach with guys we had just met. We went to a party at someone's hotel room. Etc. Luckily, it was all innocent and fun, but it SO easily could have gone bad. And yes, we were mature and not your rebel-type kids. (I was high school valedictorian, my other friend the salutatorian, etc.) But we still did those dumb things.

I guess my point above is that I think bad things happen randomly. Kids will do dumb things (like we did), but do learn from them. If they don't do dumb things while they travel, they'll figure out some way to do dumb things close to home.

I used to travel a lot with my folks when I was a kid, both domestically and abroad, and I flew on my own for the first time when I was 11, to visit my grandparents. When I was a teenager, my dad once put me on the phone to confirm a hotel reservation. I was more than ready for my semester in London and that year's spring break in Ireland, which I planned entirely on my own.

If I ever have kids, I'll raise them the same way.

I did something similar to Hunnym; I once got into a Mini in Ireland with a couple of Irish guys (and an American friend) to go to a pub. I guess we could have gotten into trouble, but luckily, they were just after a pint and some good music.

I was allowed to take a long road trip (from Michigan to Florida) when I graduated h.s., which was age 17. I went with my cousin who was 17 as well. We were 2 17 year old girls on a road trip. But our destination was to visit some family and some friends, so we weren't alone for the entire time. My parents were worried of course, but I had the travel bug and I was very persistent. Since then, I have done a great deal of traveling and one of my greatest thrills is planning a trip! My opinion on the age a child could travel alone on a plane, depends on where they are going. I don't think I would let my daughter fly alone on a plane until she was at least 14-15. As for traveling alone or just with her friends for an entire vacation, I would make her wait until she is graduated.

My neice went off to London when she was 18. She had never been away from home before. She was in a work program through a company called Bunac. She lived and worked in London for 6 months..that's how long her work visa was good for. She had a bit of a rough start, was with a friend who's mother is an American expat living in Essex, so that made her father a little more comfortable but I don't think he slept a full night the entire time she was gone. (: He's an ex-cop so I guess worry comes naturally to him. She learned a whole lot about dealing with people, managing situations. All, in all, it was wonderful. We visited her toward the latter part of her stay and she was buzzin' around like a native. Now, next month, she's heading off to Copenhagen for a year of school but I know her father is going to be totally freaking out about it because of todays tragedy in London, but I know that's not going to stop her. Her poor dad will just have to up his traquilizer intake I guess. Anyway, you have to judge the maturity level and coping skills of your own child. I think any time they have to extend their comfort level a bit is a growth experience. My neice called her dad several times, in tears, having some issues with her friend, not being able to find a flat right away, etc. and even though her dad could give some advice and comfort, SHE had to deal with the problem and get it worked out..and she did. So, in the end, I would think that once your child is 18, it would really be a good time to let them start having some experiences on their own. IMHO

I agree that it really depends on the maturity and travel experience of the individual.

My mother raised my sister and I by herself and she always instilled independence and street smarts in us. Our first domestic trip alone without her was from Dallas to Houston on a bus at the ages of nine and six. I was then allowed to travel domestically by myself or with friends by the age of 15, depending upon the location and who I would be with.

My first international trip was a group tour in Europe at the age of 15 and I don't think I would have felt comfortable going there alone at that point in time. However, just a few short years after that I felt perfectly capable of going to Europe on my own or with friends.

I think the decision is different for every individual and every parent, but I do feel that by the time "children" are 18 years of age, they are legally adults and are capable of traveling alone domestically. Interntionally can be another story IMO. Lauguage barriers and other cultural differences can be a burden on a child or young adult unless they are properly informed to deal with such.

HI!
Interesting topic.
The first time I ever flew on an airplane was alone. I was around 11 and flew from DC to NY. My mom put me on the plane and my grandparents picked me up right at the gate. It was direct and it was fine. I travelled overseas for the first time (my second time on a plane) when I was 15 and went on a group trip with my French class. It was not with my parents, but it was supervised. I don't think I would have been ready to go independently at that point (although we were allowed to have free time for a whole day while in Paris). That day just a friend and I navigated alone and then rejoined the group late in the day. I will never forget that feeling of independence and confidence.

I now have 2 sons of my own. Their personalities are very different so my decisions about their travel may not be the same. I would not yet send my 11 year old on a plane alone as he would not be comfortable. It has not come up yet, but I would be willing to send my 14 year alone on a flight. I would also allow him to go on a superivsed group trip without me, but don't think I would allow him to travel alone till around 18 years, although we will have to see and take that as it comes. However, while my older one is more independent, I am not sure that he and his friends are a group I would feel wholly confident about sending on a trip (although they do have some years to mature :-) ). My younger one is very cautious and deliberate in his organization so, when he is ready, I may feel differently about him travelling with friends. You have to know your child and the people he/she would travel with.

Interesting thread. I can't say as a parent cause I have no kids yet, but I was an independent traveller from an early age.

I did a 3 month exchange at 16 (lived with a family in Germany) and since then have been doing my own trips. I've payed for them.

From a non-North American perspective - we have friends in Germany who are sending their son and daughter, 14 & 12 respectively to visit/go to camp for a month. They will be travelling on their own.

I loved travelling on my own - it made me understand what being responsible for yourself really means.

I second (or third) the point about the individual maturity of your child. Every one is different.
We traveled with our daughter since she was little, and she learned the ins and outs of airports, subways, map reading, using foreign currency, etc. by being with us.
By the time we took her to London and Paris, SHE was guiding US around the Tube and Metro!
We let her travel alone for the first time on a senior trip with 3 close friends to Cancun (not sure I'd do it now after all the Natalee Holloway publicity!) and I gave each of them a list of do's and don'ts. I have no way of knowing how carefully they followed those instructions, but they came back without having to wire for money or getting sun poisoning.
I allowed her to make a backpacking trip to Europe last summer--she met up with a friend in Dublin, then they traveled to London, Paris, and Venice. She did very well--didn't miss any trains or planes, and again, didn't have to wire for more money.
I'm convinced that traveling, both with her parents and alone, has given her a sense of independence and confidence that will enhance her life.
We are returning to London later this month, our first trip since the death of my husband and her father, and I fully expect my daughter to lead me around the city and count out the money!
I can't give a specific age at which I would allow a child to fly alone or to go on a car trip with friends, but my daugher's senior trip was when she was 18, and on the trip to Europe she was 20. But I think her previous trips with us (Mexico, Caribbean, Hawaii, Spain, England, and France) made her pretty sophisticated travelwise.

My kids started to fly alone around 13 (within the United States). My son went to Spain alone at 17 - Switzerland alone at 18 (just got back last week). As terrible as this sounds, I'm not sure when I will allow my daughter to go to Europe alone - I can't quite picture this at 17 - but probably if she had friends to join her. I've not allowed the Mexico/Island spring break trips - as I'm tolerant about travel if I can imagine some value.

I think Julie_Colorado makes a good point. It is not just the child or age for me, it is also the "where." I would be much more hesitant to send my kids on a "Cancun-type" spring break thing than to Europe.
Our sons have been travelling since they were literally 6 weeks old. My 14 year old (and even my 11 year old) can already comfortably navigate us around New York City. They will going on their first trip to Europe in 3 weeks so I am excited to share in that experience with them.

Sheila - I meant a short trip to be about 3-4 days somewhere within 4-5 hours of where you live, by car.

It's been interesting to see everyone's thoughts. Thank you.

I've been dealing with some very over-protective parents and it has put a damper on my DD's trip today and frustrated me to no end.

It's nice to see here that most people are very reasonable when it comes to "letting their children take flight" and take into account many factors.

Thanks, all, for your thoughts.

I think it depends very much on where they are flying to, who is meeting them and what they are going to do when they are there.

Last year my 15yo daughter wanted to stay with a schoolfriend who lives in Brittany in the holidays. I allowed her to fly from Southampton to CDG Paris, wait a few hours and then fly on to Brest where she would be met by her friend's parents. The trip was the same in reverse, although her return flight CDG to Southampton was cancelled and thankfully rather than have her stay alone in a hotel in Paris (or near the airport) her friends took her back to their home and returned her to the airport the next day when the flights were fine.

It was a huge step in trust and faith, and luckily it went well. We both kept our mobile phones on, and despite the costs kept in touch regularly. Daughter is tall, slim, blonde and beautiful, and I was concerned about the attention she might attract. She did get quite a lot, but coped with it well, and thankfully nothing untoward occurred.

If she hadn't been going to stay with friends and been met at the airport there is no way I would have allowed her to go.

This year she is flying out there again, but now there are direct flights and she is flying with two schoolfriends as well, so I have no qualms at all.

You have to take into account the circumstances, and make your own decision based on how responsible and mature your daughter is, and also how you feel about the friends she is travelling with.

Regarding age, airlines seem to have their own policies about the age 'children' can travel unaccompanied by an adult. Hotels also have their own policies about the age of people booking/paying for rooms.

But Aggiemom - keep in mind... the people on this board are a small group that have decided travel is a priority - and our kids have traveled extensively as a consequence. We're not the norm. Coupled with the Natalie Holloway situation, lots of parents are going to revert to being very protective. And personally, travel by car is the hardest one to for me to deal with. Good luck.

My girlfriends and I would drive to Palm Springs alone when we were teens but that was about it until I was about 20.

My son would fly alone to visit his dad when he was about 8, since then he has been a fearless flyer.

When he was about 17 he would drive across two states alone to visit same dad. The only thing he worried about on those drives was if a sandstorm or a tumbleweed would hit his car. I would make him call when he arrived and call when he left to come home, then I would calculate the ETA and Start To Worry schedules. Once he stayed for hours at a truck stop because he didn't want to drive his prized car in a wind storm, and I went into the STW mode.

My son has been flying by himself every summer since he was 7. He was listed as an UM so that the airline watched over him and escorted him to his gate or to the person receiving him at his destination. We did that until he was about 10, then he was fine on his own, dealing with delays and even a missed flight..(thank God for cell phones). His first European vacation was at 12. He is now 17 and I've been encouraging him to consider studying abroad when he goes to college.

Allie_go will be flying solo to visit her grandparents (Bob the Nav & Mrs. Nav) in a couple of weeks. She is 12, and this will be her first time.

If she wants to go on a trip of her own with her friends, I'll probably let her do it when she's 18. It depends on the trip and on the friends.

As for an "actual vacation" on her own, that one's easy. When she's no longer living under my roof, and can pay for the trip herself.

Heck, I'm in my 60's and my mother still worries about me when I travel and I worry when my two 30-something boys travel with their wives. It's a parents nature to be concern about the welfare of their children no matter how old they get. The reality is they are going to leave the nest someday and you have to prepare them as well as yourself for that eventuality. Funny thing, while they were away at college we never worried about where they were or what they were doing except when they came home for the holidays or semester break - then the worring would start anytime they'd go out. All that said, I started travelling alone when I was in my teens. We let our boys travel on their own around the time they got their driver's licenses. I agree with others that the decision as to when to allow your children to travel without adult supervision is different for every family. There are no set rules and one has to do what feels right for them.

I "had" to allow them to travel on their own when they felt they are ready. I did my best to teach them from the early age how to, but I would never ever encourage them to travel alone at any age!

Summer camps come to mind. And the younger one went to Europe alone at 19.

I too am not a parent but as a 30 year old thought I would give my thoughts:
I travelled to summer camp with my twin sisters who are a year older since the age of seven. I was very interested in travel, coming by it honestly from my parents. I left a small town in Nova Scotia at 19 to be a nanny in Orlando and promptly moved to Amsterdam and travelled Europe for a year after that. My parents were the type that I was not allowed to sleep over or take trips with friends or go on spring break to lay on a beach all day and drink all night, but showing intiative and maturity in planning my journey to Europe, I beleive they were not worried. I guess what I am saying is that I echo the sentiments of other posters in that it is not your age so much as it is the person and their maturity level. As I sit in the airport waiting to board a plane to London on a trip alone, I cant help but replan my journey to avoid some of the train stations that were closed today due to bombings. Traveling requires thought, preparation, a sense of adventure and maturity. What age do we possess those traits? It depends on you life experiences.

Hey seas - stay safe in London.

Thanks for your thoughts. I, too, think it depends on the child. I think you have to find the right balance of protection versus adventure and independence. I think you have to set it up sometimes so that your children (early on) can make stupid mistakes and stupid decisions but still live to learn from them. Parenting can be tough....

My kids are 11 and 12 right now and I have a hard time thinking of them traveling without me someday. I am protective and it seems the world is getting uglier these days.
I traveled on a highschool tour at age 15 to Europe. There were chaperones, but I only saw them getting on planes, trains and buses. We were free to roam the cities of Paris, London, Nice, Geneva, etcc... Thank God I was a teen with a good head on my shoulders. That doesn't mean we didn't do some stupid things and have some fun.
I traveled on my own at 17 to Fort Lauderdale for Spring Break. It was even too wild for me.
I love to travel and have taken my kids many places.
At 18, they are adults essentially. Hopefully, they will be the same smart kids they are today. I am sure they will be more savvy travelers than I ever was!

We sent each of our girls to work on their uncle's ranch in Montana from Toronto when they were 12 and 13. They spent a good part of the summer there.My eldest moved to London at 18 to work as a barmaid and then to Scotland, travelling Europe and then Australia to work in the outback for a year and my youngest did the same trip to Aust for a year at 20.I was their biggest fan because I travelled Europe back in the '70s (hitchhiking) and gained lots of experiences I never forgot. Pushed them I did and they came back with an education you can't get in school. They did fine and went on to graduate from Univ. and now work in good jobs but that travel lust never leaves you be.

This is very topical for my family. My 14 yr old daughter (MD)is spending Sept - Dec in Toronto. She will stay with my brother and go to school with her cousin for the first term.

I feel relaxed about this as she has done this flight with us many times (twice in the past 4 years). I was a little concerned about the transferring from Qantas to AA at LAX as it is such a rigamore and have arranged for her to travel as an UM. She will be met and escorted at LAX and YYZ. She is a bit disappointed she can't use the lounge as she loves the showers but she will cope. :)

MD started flying by herself when she was 5 - only 1 hour flights between Melbourne & Sydney. The only problem she has ever had was when the airline put bubble gum in the kids meal and she exploded a bubble all over her face!
We are meeting her for Xmas and heading off to Tanzania, South Africa & home.

I went to Europe with a friend when I was 17. We handled a lot of disasters quite well - having my passport stolen in Rome and my charter went bankrupt and I had to get to Brussels (from Paris) by myself only to find the Canadian organised rescue flight was full. I then made my own way to Luxembourg and caught a flight back to North America with Icelandic.

The important thing is to teach them not to panic, Keep all documents and tickets in a safe place, have contacts they can call(so much easier these days with mobile phones and email) and discuss the usual things - be wary of strangers, don't hesitate to ask people in authority for help (don't be shy and expect things to take care of themselves - you must be assertive) and use commonsense.

Dear Aggiemom: I just returned to the forum and read your comment about dealing with overprotective parents. Boy, can I relate to that!
I wrote earlier about taking our daughter along with us on our travels, and then allowing her to travel on her own to Cancun and Europe.
I got a lot of flak for my decisions from other moms, especially one who would not allow her daughter to do anything without supervision--forget about travel.
Our daughters began college at the same time, and guess which one almost flunked out first semester, acquired an STD, drank excessively and did drugs? (Not mine---although I'm not trying to paint her as some kind of an angel either.)
One way to teach responsibility is to find ways to make your child responsible and independent, and travel really drives that home. After maneuvering through airports and subways and foreign countries, my daughter was able to maneuver very well around a huge university. She is a senior now, double majoring in English lit and Medieval Studies, with a minor in history, and planning on grad school. Guess where she came up with those interests? From visiting Canterbury, Segovia, Stratford-upon-Avon, Notre Dame, and Hastings Battlefield--and countless other places with a great deal of history, literary associations, architecture, and art.
Anyway, my point is that you have to parent your way, and not to meet anybody else's standards. Nobody cares more about your child than you do. If you child is not mature or responsible enough to travel solo, don't allow it. But, if you believe your child can handle it, and benefit from it, then follow your own heart.
PS: I have a deal with my best friend as far as parenting---I won't tell her how to raise your child if she doesn't tell me how to raise mine. It works perfectly.
PPS: Yes, bad things can happen. Look at London today. I've had to hear all day from MY mother how I should not be going to London later this month because it's too dangerous. I'm 55 years old.....
But bad things can happen at home, at school, at camp, crossing the street.

I see many kindred spirits here - those of you who traveled relatively young overseas without parents (I was 16 and with a school group but the chaperoning was pretty lame - and what a blast we had!!) and then encouraged your young ones to do the same.

Love hearing all the stories! Of course, there are times that I worry a little about my kids - my husband is more relaxed than me. I just remind myself that they are bright, level headed people and they'll figure it out.

Maureen - my daughter had her eyes opened when we went to Europe (Canterbury was a definite favorite) as a family a couple years ago. Now she'll be a sophomore studying international business. She'll be doing at least one semester and hopefully more somewhere in Europe. Her other friend wanted to join her for a semester but her mother "won't let her" even though the "girl" will be 21 at that time! (and it's not a matter of money) This friend now has a new boyfriend and I can already see what's coming....I think her mother needs to worry more about that!

Thanks again, all!

This is a long thread, so I won't add my entire saga, but I will say that I let both kids fly alone to Europe and the Caribbean (with friends) starting at 18. As they know, I do not encourage *driving* trips, however, and reserve the right to make their lives miserable if they suggest anything like a road trip. Statistics. They laugh that I am the only parent they know who is happier to see them fly to Europe than drive across state lines.

Hello aggiemom, interesting thread you started!!

Our daughter flew for the first time b herself from SFO to Long Beach CA to stay with her aunt & uncle and cousins. Of course flying was so much easier then as we did not have all the security rules.

Our daughter flew without us from SFO to Vancouver BC. She was 12 years old. She stayed with my husbands' godparents son and his 12 year old daughter. I was worried - oh yes - but she did fine. Even when things were not exactly perfect in Vacouver IMO as the girls had more freedom than I would have allowed. But our daughter came home so much more mature and shared stories with us and made some very good decisions in Vancouver.

The next year she flew from SFO to Washington DC to stay with her brother and his wife. Another wonderful month for her and I was more relaxed regarding that trip. She saw so much of our nation's capitol and again returned even more mature.

I agree that each child is different, personality wise, maturity, streetwise etc., so do not think that one rule should apply to all children.

But for a 21 year old to be dictated to by her parent as to whether she can travel or not seems strange to me. First of all that 21 year old girl is an adult. But perhaps there is more to the story then anyone knows. And maybe the parents feel if she is old enough to travel to Europe on her own she is old enough to earn her own money to do so. Some families that are in excellent financial positions to do not believe in just handing everything to their children that they want.

Anyway, my daughter was responsible and mature and I can definately say that travel broadened her horizions and gave her an interest and love for travel

aggiemom: You know I already posted, but reading all of the posts on this thread has reminded me of how my parents trusted me to make the right choices in life. I too had friends that went to college who were never allowed to do anything and they went nuts! My parents always gave me enough rope to hang myself (not literally of course).
I also remembered that at 10, I was traveling to stay with a friend's family alone for a week. I did this every summer for a few years. I never was afraid and looked forward to the adventure.
My mom grew up with parents that were not trusting and she was a good kid. She decided that she would trust us (unless we screwed up of course). We were all good kids. We did have fun, but our biggest fear was disappointing my parents.
Today, I am probably too overprotective myself. I doubt I will be as free as my mom, but I have great kids and they will most likely be traveling the globe before you know it.

Hi LoveItaly - I hope your personal life has calmed down. Wishing you and your family well.

Sounds like you have down well with childrearing, too.

In reference to this 21-year-old - her parents also "won't" let her get a job! She is spending an aimless (my opinion) summer outside of being sent to babysit her cousins for a couple of weeks in MD.

Artsfan - I think you have a good point - I, too, feel better when my kids don't spend long periods driving here. Thankfully, I quash my thoughts and let 'em go anyway.

I'm so glad my middle daughter has a pilot friend and has an opportunity to see so much of the world (for free, too - an incredible bonus!!) We didn't even get to see her when she returned from her whirlwind Caribbean trip as we were leaving for CA. And when we were coming home from CA, SHE was leaving to go to CA! She goes a couple times a year to see friends and stays at her BF's grandma's beach house in Newport. (Gosh, that kid has chosen some fun friends!)

Anyway, thanks again for all the stories. I'll keep encouraging our DDs to see and do as much as they can. Even in this terror age. Nobody is ever assured how much time we have on this earth and what a pity it would be to live in fear.

My daughter spent a semester in Switzerland as a sophomore in high school and all three children travelled to Antigua, Guatemala for Spanish language "immersion" while in high school and college.
M

In 1999, when we were in London with our then 9 & 12 year old sons, & couple years before, in Paris with our older son, we taught them how to read & use the metro/tube, & how to look at train schedules & to find the right tracks. Then a couple times we told them what site we were going to vist that day & let them pick the routes to get there & we followed them. They did well on that. The main reasoning being that if for some reason we got separated, the would know how to use the systems & not be afraid to use it. Now, they are 14 & 18, they also know, after our last trip, what it is like to get stuck & have to spend a night in the airport. They both know how to travel & how to act in certain situations, but I am still not sure if they would be able to recognize all the situations that they should be aware of, but depending upon the circumstances would let them travel without us. But for now, I don't think they are interested in traveling without us, since we do alot of traveling, & they usually like the places we go, & the advantages of having the parents pay, although the kids do have to pay for any souvenirs they may want.

Hi aggiemom, thanks for your thoughts, they are appreciated. Daughter & SIL are home from Rome and grandsons are of course back home too so life is more or less settled down here (except there is still a lot of turmoil with the family in Italy).

BTW, my husband was the one that felt the strongest about letting children travel on their own (if the were trustworthy children of course). His comment was that children were like dogs. Keep a dog on a chain all the time and when the do get free they will become impossible to control. He felt the same way about children. You need to "let loose" and allow them to grow and mature. Of course if we had had an immature or a problem child I know he would have not allowed travelling alone.

aggiemom, I can't even imagine parents telling a 21 year old that the can't get a job. Nor can I imagine a 21 year old buckling under to these kinds of demands. What a strange and sad story. Take good care.