Are the people in Paris friendly?
 

Are the people in Paris generally friendly and helpful? I am not sure what to expect on my first visit to France. Any tips and comments would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Helpful and courteous, yes, but not immediately friendly to the extent that most Americans are; the French are a bit more reserved. But you will find them pleasant and willing to assist you--just don't expect big smiles. It's a cultural thing.

I've been to Paris MANY times and have never had a bad experience. My simple reply to you would be that the people in Paris are as friendly to you as you are to them !!! Have a Great Trip !!! Mike

Are YOU generally friendly and helpful? If so, that is what you will get in return. There's another post on this site titled Paris Trip Report/The Truth About Paris - please read it in its entirety and forget about the myth of the rude Parisians. Smile at them, speak a few words in their language and be nice. It'll be fine.

Are YOU friendly and helpful, and polite and respectful? If so, I'm sure you'll find the Parisians just the same.
Unlike in America, however, they do expect you to engage in some basic niceties, like saying "Bonjour, Madame/Monsieur" upon entering a store or restaurant or hotel, or whatever, followed by the requisite "Merci, Madame/Monsieur" and "Au revoir, Madame/Monsieur."
Learning some basic French phrases will count for a lot. You can do so, if you don't already have a grounding in the language, at www.travlang.com, where you can hear native speakers so your pronounciation will be correct.
If by any chance your impressions of France have already been colored by people who are telling you the French are arrogant and rude, please, dismiss those thoughts from your mind. That is an old, tired myth.

Another difference, yogi, is here someone goes into a shop and messes up the merchandise, not thinking it a big deal. In paris, You ask to see whatever the item is you are interested in.

People in Paris are unfailingly polite. If you have a problem, they will go out of their way to help you. You do have to ask for help though. They would not dream of intruding on your privacy to offer help you may not need. If you need help, ask. They're great then.

In restaurants, your waiter will not introduce himself to you as though he was starting a relationship as they do here. Your order will be taken and you will be served with great professionalism. The check will not appear until you ask for it. A French waiter would not dream of interrupting your meal . . . even if you appear finished. You own the table until you ask for a check.

No one will come over to you as soon as you have your mouth full and ask you if everything is all right. It is assumed everything is all right unless you tell them there is a problem. Again, if you have a problem, tell them. They'll take care of it quickly and cheerfully.

This doesn't seem very important, but I've heard a lot of people complain about French service because of this. It is wonderful service, but it is a bit more formal than in the US. (We prefer it.)

Enjoy your trip. Paris is great! ((@))

I agree, Parisians are friendly. But not like US friendly. The people are reserved but that doesn't mean they are unfriendly; they do not know you enough to open up. As for what SalB says about the differences in Parisian waiters vs. American waiters, it is true. It's so irritating at home to have a waiter become so talkative and friendly knowing it's all pretense. In Paris the waiters are friendly enough but their jobs come first.

I agree with Sal and you, francophile, I can't stand, "Hi, I'm your waiter, my name is..."

Really if you're polite the Parisian waiter (who may also be the owner at a small restaurant) may engage in conversation with you and you'll know it is genuine!

Helpful, yes. Courteous, yes. Unfailingly polite, yes. Pleasant when you're interacting with them, yes. "Friendly" as in overly personal, no. It's a cultural thing. I almost died one time at Bastide D'Odeon travelling with my monster in-laws and my father in law started bragging to our host or waiter (can't remember) about how one of his sons works "in the movie industry." And they're pretty well travelled... they don't usually scream "ugly American." Just made an error in judgement about how chatty the waiter wanted to be. It's easy to do when you're enjoying your trip and someone asks you if everything is going well, or if you're having a nice time. But that poor waiter just stood there and listened attentively but you could tell he couldn't WAIT to get outta there to help his other clients.

Also, you won't find people overtly smiling at you. People just don't wander around the streets with smiles on their faces smiling at strangers just for the sake of doing it. One of the regular posters here says it kind of funny... they'll think you've just been released from a loony bin. I do usually wander the streets of Paris with a smile on my face, because I AM enjoying myself and marvelling at the beauty that I can't see in the states, but I certainly don't take it as rudeness when they don't reciprocate.

That said, the other posters here hit the nail on the head about you being polite and you'll get what you put out. Always say please, thankyou, good morning, good evening, and MUCH better if you can learn these in French.

And, I can't remember if someone specifically mentioned it in this post yet, but you should ALWAYS say "Bonjour, Madame" or "Bonjour, Monsieur" at the start of a conversation. For an inquiry. For ordering your bread at the patisserie. At restaurants, everywhere. They'll greet you this way, too. It's will seem so formal and strange to do it, but it's one of the beautiful things you'll be able to remember about Paris and the French language, even if that's all you can learn.

st.cirq is very correct. it is considered rude to enter a store, restaurant, etc. without a courteous greeting, bonjour at the least, and leaving without a thank you and a goodbye. these simple courtesies go a long way...

Francophile has a good point, if it's a smaller restaurant or they're not too busy or if they show a genuine interest, they probably are. I thnk the same is true if you go to the same restaurant more than once on the trip and see the same person, or if that person made a recommendation for you that you wanted to tell them about. (I did that once... went back to the restaurant to tell a host that I liked his recommendation for something to do. I peeked inside, he recognized me, we exchanged a quick few sentences, but I could see he was busy and didn't stand there and jabber away. Then I ran into that same guy in the neighborhood as he was preparing the restaurant that day... and we exchanged a polite nod and small smile.

All good points. What also pleases me is that many times when you enter a restaurant and seated, the next table's patrons will say bonjour to you or if passing on a path, you get a hello.
And I have never run into a nasty dog.

My personal experience with the waiter/owner incident occurred while on a tour of all things. It was the Euroscope day tour that included lunch at this surprisingly nice restaurant in the 2nd district, Les Noces de Jeannette. The tour co. messed up with our tour package & tour guide but I remember the owner, this older gentleman, coming over to explain to us the slight problem with the tour guide. He didn't speak fluent English and of course we didn't speak French so it was a few minutes before we understood. Anyway, he patted me on the shoulder to reassure me that it's ok we could just wait at the table until the correct tour guide showed up. That was really nice of him and the restaurant serves very good food too.
Another incident was at Le Bistrot de Paris in the 7th district, the waiter patiently tried to explain the menu offerings to us and was very concerned that we enjoyed the food that we ordered.
I sure haven't come across anything like this at home and these two incidents happened within 5 days in Paris.

Francophile, you've recommended Bistrot de Paris before. Do you know the cross street/location? I'll have to look at your previous posts about it... sounds good and I'm going to check it out when there. With my parents on this trip, they can stay at the apt with the baby and we'll venture out alone within our neighborhood.

That appreciation for the enjoyment of the food is one thing that I have noticed almost everywhere I have gone in both France and Italy... especially from the owners or hosts. I have often found that the more adventurous I am, the more I enjoy the meal, the more some of those people open up more because we have something to connect with them about. Reminds me about a post I saw here today somewhere about a woman at a restaurant who screamed at the server "miss, I did NOT order this amuse bouche and I'm not paying for it." Ugh. Like many have said here, you get what you give out. If you're rude or tacky or impolite, they will be too.

Hi skatterfly,

If you look up Bistrot de Paris at
http://www.voila.fr/PagesJaunes/

You will find

Le Bistrot de Paris
33 r Lille 75007 PARIS
01 42 61 15 84
01 42 61 16 83
fax : 01 49 27 06 09

I have a personal theory on this. I found, Parisians and then French outside of Paris both to be quite polite and reserved, at first. BUT, if they recognize you a second time, they can be very warm and friendly. I need to go back...gotta prove this. Wonder if I can get a grant?

Hi yogi,

Good advice about not handling the merchandise in shops. It's just not done.

Sort of like going into a bakery and picking up the rolls and putting them back.

We visited Paris for the first time last summer and found the people there to be quite helpful--even shared a few smiles over my attempts at speaking French. What a beautiful city--I hope you enjoy a wonderful trip! :-)

After a week of "Bonjour, Madame" every time I enter an establishment, it is hard to turn it 'off' when I hit my local Walmart or grocery store back home :) You can get some strange looks for that!

SusieC- I am looking for a grant too!
Yogiusd03-- I echo the comments of StCirq, francofile and others. I made a return trip to Paris this April, sans a tour. I found the french very welcoming, but not the gushing USA variety. Genuine when they showed personal interest.

I returned to a few vendors at my local marche to tell them how much I enjoyed my purchases, and they just beamed. People who recognized me greeted me warmly. Don't forget bonjour and au revoir, merci on entering and leaving. I was delighted to hear that I spoke with no American accent, but I believe those old tales about about any attempts at speaking french being snubbed are untrue, certainly, completely contrary to my experience. You can ask first if they speak English, as many speak some.

I do recommend learning key phrases and bringing a pocket phrase book -I met so many wonderful people in restaurants and shops, museum guides, marche vendors, locals.
Go & enjoy! And as said here, you get out what you put in!

Had an incident in Paris on Sunday night. My travelling partner was insistent we try to locate "Chinatown" to eat. After stopping for directions several times, we knew were in the vicinity but just couldn't seem to end up on the right street. Funny that no one who gave us directions knew the name of the street, including 2 gendarmes in that district! Anyway, we ended up in the metro about to catch a train for the station we THOUGHT would put us right. A hunch told me to ask a youngish girl waiting next to us. Well, she didn't know how to explain to us how to get there, so she SHOWED us! Yep, took us there even though she was not going exactly there. This is not the first time this has happened to me in Paris. And the rest of France is even better.

I have just received this e-mail message....Jean-Claude Vrinat-Taillevent...one of the foremost restaurants in Paris...

Chère Madame,


In a few days we shall celebrate the 60th Anniversary of D.Day.


May the friendship between our two countries be for ever as strong as it was in June 1944.


With my best personal regards.


Jean-Claude Vrinat


Does this say something about friendliness??

yogiusd,
You've gotten great tips and comments. Parisians ARE freindly in their own way. But if no one ever smiles at you, don't take it personally. They NEVER smile, especially if they are walking or alone. You might see smiles if they are with someone they are very intimate with.

As to Good Neighborness, from a little tavern in Chagny (Canal du Midi?) where we stopped the barges for Dinner one night, the owner up and OFFERED to drive 3 of us at a time over to Santenay. (Plus the night of our dinner, he, as a sort of host, brought out his special, home-made Marc... ohmygoodness! What stuff that was. Made Grappa seem like ovaltine and milk)
Anyway, the walk was a beautiful 20 or 30 minutes...we walked, he drove over
So? All in all, the French are friendly.

Marc is fabulous, especially marc de Bourgogne. We love it in after-dinner coffee as well as straight.

This is a really, really useful thread with excellent information. I hope people with questions on the topic in the future will be able to find it.

I speak only a little French, but used that when I could, always used basic greetings when entering and leaving, and if more was needed told them I spoke only a little French (in French) before asking if they spoke English.

Before I left several friends asked if I was prepared for the rudeness of the Parisians, poor service, etc. (mind you, these are people who haven't been out of the country, or if they have, it's been many, many years). I told them I thought a lot of what you got depended on what you expected, and what you gave, and really went not expecting any problems.

What did I get . . . not only no problems, but people really willing to help when asked, and sometimes when not. One shop owner, realizing I was from the United States, and would have a long trip home, carefully wrapped my breakable items in bubble wrap. In Amsterdam, walking around one day with a friend from Paris, we ran into an acquaintance (French) of his, and were introduced. The next day while out, I happened to see him again, and on recognizing me, he turned around and came over just to say "bonjour".

But my favorite story was the morning I somehow ended up with a metro ticket that wouldn't let me out of the gate. The second one I pulled out wouldn't either (the tickets must have been having a lot of fun, I found far more in my pockets and bags when I returned home than I bought or was given!). By this time a lady who had just gone through the adjoining gate realized what had happened, started speaking to me in rapid French and handed me her ticket. It was also expired. At that point, she started asking the people around her, until she found a ticket that would give me my freedom. I was really touched by this; offering her ticket was one thing, but to continue until I got out really took her act of kindness up a level.

Skatterfly, I just ate at Bistrot de Paris once but I enjoyed it. It was within a few blocks of my hotel the Verneuil so it's right next to the 6th district.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Ira and Francophile, thanks for the info on Bistrot de Paris. I just looked at it on PagesJaunes and I must have walked past this place a dozen tims since I've always stayed on Quai Voltaire around the corner. But I haven't eaten there... based on the recommendations here maybe we'll check it out in September.

~k

yogiusd03,
Are the people at the IRS, Post Office, state/county motor vehicle renewal, airport check in, social security, medicare, property/casualty/health insurance companies, doctor's and dentist's offices friendly?
Depends on how you relate to them and how they perceive you, as always!
M

I just got back from my second trip to Paris. Both times I have been treated very well. No complaints whatsoever. A few people at the hotel I stayed at both times remembered me they were so warm and so friendly.

To be honest I like their reserved approach. It drives me crazy when I go shopping and the sales people are all over me, and treating me like their long, lost friend. In Paris I was let alone and knew not to ruffle their merchandise. Already thinking about a 3rd trip back there.

I agree with you, Madison. It's funny you mention salespeople at home, they act like your buddy but you know what they're really after is a commission. So all that pretense I can do without because I don't pretend to be someone's friend so it just irritates me. In Paris it's based on plain honesty which I prefer.