My husband and I took a two week tour across America the Summer before we started our family. We saw San Francisco, the wine country, Yosemite, Rocky Mountain National Park...it was wonderful. We have travelled since we had children, but we have NEVER gone away TOGETHER for that long since. (and don't get me wrong, I love our life) Your priorities will change and your $$ situation will change. I think you should go for at leat two weeks while you are young and healthy and start your new life as parents with great memories to look back on. It is not selfish our immature to put a home improvement project behind a trip. Memories last forever.

You love travel, yet you are trying to absorb the possibility of going on a travel-free diet for 20 years. With or without this proposed trip, that's a pretty drastic scenario.

Furthermore, I don't think it is realistic to think that one last trip, whether 2 or 4 weeks long, would somehow ease 'trip withdrawal' symptoms once you began your new life. (One last drink is the rallying cry for alcoholics, and look how well THAT works...)

Rather, I think StCirq has a better approach - consider the prospect of travelling with baby. Don't make such a separation between your 'old' life and the new - sounds like a great way to breed resentment for what is supposed to be a joyous addition to your lives. Postpone this trip for now, and start putting aside money for when all three of you can travel. It might take you longer to save for and execute the trip than you would like, but if you are serious about it, it won't take you 20 years.

By the way, if you are going to compare the value of home renovation projects to travel, you really need to use a common basis of comparison. It won't be very illuminating to consider home renovation projects solely in terms of their value on **paper**, as compared to the **emotional** value of trips. Renovation projects can also have emotional value. You'll be spending a lot more time around home generally, once baby arrives. What was once easy to 'shut the door on' or forget about, might not be so easy to do in the future. Especially if there is any aspect to the current condition of the patio or bathroom that could be a safety hazard, as in uneven floor tile. Even a garden shed, complete with a strong padlock, might be worth the financial sacrifice, given the sharp tools and poisonous substances that could then be safely stored therein.

Good luck with your decision.

Well, I think you should go. Once the children come it will be a long time before you can do it.

Since you are planning on spending several days in each city, do rent an aparment in those cities. It is so much less expensive than a hotel. AND more spacious and comfortable. You can eat breakfasts in and even dinners if you want. If we are going to be in a city for at least three or four days we always do it this way. If we are out sightseeing we often eat our main meal in a restaurant in the early-to- mid-afternoon and then pick up cheese and bread and fruit and wine or deli fare to take back to the apartment for "supper". If you day's plans include the countryside or a beach we can make sandwiches in the apartment to take along for lunch.

Sites to look for apartments include cyberrentals.com, athomeabroad.com, vrbo.com, etc. etc. If you google the city name and the word "apartment" you will find many more sites.

I don't think you are crazy at all, and if you plan carefully the trip may cost way less than you are anticipating.

Good luck.

I think a very cheap budget, without a car, for this sort of trip, would be
50 Euros per day per person.

A low-moderate budget, without a car, would be 100 Euros per day per person.

Airfare and train transport would be extra.

You mentioned you would get eight weeks of leave after you give birth. Much as I like travel, I'd choose four more weeks at home with a new baby over four weeks of travel, giving you twelve weeks of leave, if that's a choice.

Not terrible, bradshawgirl...

I've been wondering as I read this thread if somewhere out there a chat forum exists for people who like to remodel and renovate. If it's their dream, do they talk about it, ask advice on one another, offer opinions, etc?

Me: if this house is neat and clean, and in working order, I'm happy. Home remodeling, refurnishing, and the rest mean very little to me. We do keep the place up, but little by little, when we can afford it. I seldom catch myself daydreaming about home repair or remodeling. I don't read the magazines, or send away for free information, or attend online forums on the subject.

I do daydream about trips, send for brochures, read travel books and guide books all the time, yearn for places, and more. I NEVER yearn for tile or window treatments.

So for me, it is quite simple: among life's pleasures and adornments, taking my financial situation into account, what will please and gratify me the most? You guys already know the answer.

But for my MIL, who was always redecorating, remodeling, adding, fixing and fancying up, there was a different answer. She read home magazines and books.

Here's the catch: she can no longer live on her own and travel. She never expresses envy of anyone's home remodeling or new furniture, but she is constantly totally JEALOUS of every trip we take, even if it is just a long weekend to visit our married daughter.

Is there a lesson here? I don't really know. However, my parents, who always traveled and didn't spend all that much on the house, seem more content now that they can't do either of those things. They love to talk about the trips they took, and they love to talk about the trips DH and I are taking. MIL only complains about the trips DH and I take.

These are musings, but they may have some meaning...

Just to add a minority opinion, I say forget about having a baby and go to Italy.

And I've never been to Italy.

liz

Life is short. Imagine you're on your deathbed (if that isn't too morbid) and looking back over your life. Can you imagine yourself saying, "I'm just so glad I had a new garden shed, even though I never got to see Italy"?

In the words of the old 50's song: Enjoy yourself; it's later than you think.

It sounds as though you can save the money rather than using credit so it's up to you what to spend your 'disposable income' on. As the last poster said, no-one lies on their deathbed thinking 'Wow I had such a fantastic kitchen when I was younger'.
Go for it. Otherwise it may always stay with you as an 'If only...'
It probably seems more shocking to you as I understand that in the US you don't get a lot of holiday time - so is it more the time you feel guilty about. Well, here in the UK we are all legally entitled to a minimum 20 days a year so your plans do not seem crazy to me for a blow-out trip. What about the people who go off travelling for months on end? Why do think it is crazy to travel for a few weeks?

I wouldn't spend 10 days in Rome though. I love it but it is quite intense and about 4 days is probably a good introduction!

Compromise!
Rome: 3 nights
Florence: 4 nights
Venice: 3 nights

Stay in cheaper hotels, convents or hostels. Eat in cheaper family restaurants.

You've just cut the price of your trip in half.

Never take a trip you can't afford.

It's possible the reason why nobody ever lay on their deathbed pining over this or that is because they didn't have a bed to die on, but were still stuck with that @#$*!!! futon. :)

It's also possible that the reason nobody lay on their deathbed cursing their failure to renovate a kitchen, say, is because they cursed that failure each and every day of their lives, since the regret set in looooong before their dying day or even their dotage! I spent exactly one evening in a kitchen recently where you couldn't open the refridgerator and dishwasher doors simultaneously, because the two were at immediate right angles to each other. Believe me, I found this a lot more aggravating than just a simple case of tacky colour schemes, but even tacky colour schemes could really, really grate on one's nerves, especially when one is serving the demands of a baby.

If you're going to compare relative values, you need to get estimates for how much your proposed renovations would cost. Just as it isn't necessary to have the creme de la creme of a trip, it isn't necessary to have designer marble tile, but it might lift your spirits immensely to have a new paint job, say.

Since far too many have already pontificated, I'll simply add this:

1. Traveling with small children is NOTHING like traveling alone with the one you love.
2. Staying is several glamorous, European hotels inspired me with home redecoration projects. I managed to purchase things while abroad that I couldn't find in America, making my home that much more interesting. What fun.
3. My home is VERY important to me: this is where I spend most of my relaxation time and where I entertain family and guests. If a budget needs to be considered and it has to be one thing or another, I'd choose the home improvement over the trip and plan the trip another time. The things you dislike about your home will be there when you return (depressing) and no amount of memory will fix them. Plus, the return on investment for memory is nothing compared to upgrading real estate.
4. As difficult as compromise can be, it can often provide the best of all options. I'm a firm believer in "I want it all!"

Good luck.

I always tell my family and friends that if I weren't travelling as much I do, I would have easily paid off my student and car loans by now. As far as home improvement goes, my philosophy is: unless it doesn't need fixing on structures or functions (toilets leak, cracked window, broken heater), I don't take them as a priority over my trip - but that is just me.

Again, I am single, so I dont have the circumstances that you might have. I am guessing that if I were going to take family leave for my newborn, I would cut back on the trip, make it 2 instead of 4 wks because travelling is expensive, and so is having a baby. Good luck!

Not a terrible idea. I think someone earlier in the post might have wrongly used the word immature (now to take the $10,000 trip and use only credit cards to finance would definitely be immature). You seem to own your own home, so it sounds like that major investment is behind you.

You have something that you want to do before children. For the places that you list 10 days to 2 weeks would enough.

I do not understand the extended traveling alone segment but you seem to have cooled on that. [My wife's sister went traveling alone, twelve months later, she had to admit that the marriage was a little challenged.]

The decision is yours and your husbands.

Robiespierre - 13+%. I work on selecting and executing investment opportunities full time and often I can't engineer that.

I subscribe to the Graham/Dodd school: buy good companies whose share price is less than their Net Current Asset Value. When the market values them appropriately, sell. Fifteen percent is easy.

maitai tom - I love it when you talk food.

I am still reading this - light a candle for me.

At least you have decided against the extra days alone. It wasn't a good sign to me to want to run off alone or are you the runaway bride's sister?

You can remodel and travel - it does not have to be either/or. some of you think that if you travel you will live in an 1950 pea green house forever and even die saying pea green and pink - I should have painted - hand me a glass of water.

bye now

Just because bradshawgirl was contemplating time in Italy alone doesn't mean she has a weak marriage! She said he can't get as much time off. I spent 18 days in Italy alone in Sept, not because I didn't want my husband along, but because he just didn't want to go to Italy (but understood my need to go). A few weeks after I returned, we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary, so a solo trip doesn't have to ruin a marriage!

Go Go Go.

My husband and I got around Europe on E155 a day excluding flights and could have done it cheaper. We even quit our jobs. We'll be starting a family next year maybe. But I hope to be away for 3 months this summer as well.

Life is not about money - it is about making the most of every day and what you can experience and learn from it. That is what travelling has taught me.

Money does not make you a better mother. Will experiencing a different culture and way of life?? Who knows.

It is just that I met so many Americans in my travels who thought what I had done was a big mistake, bad for my career and looked horified at the risks we were taking. I know that this is a cultural different between my county and yours now. Neither is wrong or right. Again something else I learned.

(Mind you I still would prefer a big wad of cash to travel on instead teehee).

That's what the American Express is for.

bradshawgirl
I read thru most of these posts and what I noticed was the majority topic was money. IMHO I would concentrate more on how my husband feels and thinks. Does he share your desire to go to Italy? Is it important to him for the two of you to go? Is this something the two of you talk about and plan? And if you stay longer then he, how does he feel about that? How would you feel if he were to stay two weeks longer in Italy without you? Just some questions I wonder if you've thought about since you asked.

"Life is not about money - it is about making the most of every day and what you can experience and learn from it."

I tried that one down at the Safeway, and they didn't go for it.