A perfectly planned romantic longweekend trip gone bad.
 

I had this great idea to surprise my husband with a long weekend in Paris for his birthday gift.

I booked the flights for October, direct from Boston to CDG for $730.00 each. Great flights, landed us in Paris at 6:30 AM , with the whole day ahead of us. Return flight was also direct, getting us back in Boston to pick up our son before dinner time.

Then I realized we could stay an extra day and changed the flights at a cost of $200.00 each. Oh well, I said, it is worth it for another full day in Paris.

I was on the wait list for a business class upgrade using miles (and the co-pay fee) and it came through. Yeah, I said, even though the co-pay is now $500.00 each.

Trying not to panic that our tickets are now up to $1463.00 each, I rationalized that it was business class after all, and it was going to be a perfect romantic getaway , just the two of us.

I booked a package at Hotel D'Aubusson including pick up at airport. We have been to Paris on three other occasions and have always wanted to stay there. Great, I said.

I arranged for a place for our son to stay while we were gone.

Reserved a table at Jacques Cagna for the first night.

I took an old map of Paris I had to the framers so I could give him the map on his birthday (Sept. 1) and surprise him with the tickets. Everything in order, I was so excited about this gift.

Last week my husband called to tell me those dates I mentioned to him to take off from work in October were impossible for him. I had to tell him what I had planned, so he could possibly stress the importance to his partner. No deal. It is absolutely not going to happen.

So, I cancel the hotel and start down the airline path of no return, no refund, no transfer.

The worst case scenario is I cancel the flight, have 1 year to use the original value if the tickets($763. each) and forfeit the $1000.00 upgrade co-pay. Oh yes, and pay the additional $175.00 to put the miles back in my FF account. The $400.00 I paid to change get the extra day in is also gone.

The best I can do, is re-book the flights for a later date, pay another $400.00 to do this, and get put on a wait list for the upgrade. If the upgrade does not come through, I can pay the $175.00 to put the miles back in my account and still forfeit the $1000.00 co-pay.

Boy, talk about no good deed going unpunished. Now, instead of my husband being thrilled with such a nice surprise, he is furious at me because we are loosing so much money. Which I can't blame him for that.

Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent. I don't think I'll be planning any more surprises in the near future.

Sorry to hear about this. Your surprise seemed so perfect to me! Almost makes you want to have your hsuband 'phone in sick' , yes? ;)

Oh, my. My sympathy to you. What a mess, and all you tried to do was plan a romantic weekend in Paris.

The best laid plans of mice and men...

Just remember, something good always comes out of something bad.

I am so sorry for you, Ralstonlan. It would have been a wonderful surprise. I hope you end up having a lovely time, another time, to reward you for your thoughtfulness.

How old is your son? Mine is 15. If it were me, I'd go with him!

Lol, missypie, I was thinking the same thing!!
Ralston, I always fly direct from Boston but pay much more. I hope you go.

Wow, what a mess. I am so sorry. This may sound bad, but I agree with the above. I would never want to be out the money, so I would probably go myself and see if I could get somebody else to go with me. Otherwise you lose out on an awful lot of money.

Good luck and best wishes.

Tracy

Crikey, I am SO sorry for you but i_am_kane is right: you've earned lots of good karma! I, too, hope you decide to make the trip in October. Best of luck~

Let me see if I have this right...<b>he</b>is pissed because you &quot;wasted&quot; the money because <b>he</b> can't go? Hmmmm..I can understand but I think a little understanding, and forgiveness, might be in order.

And now there is a possible plan for you to go anyway and without him? I honestly wonder how he'll react to that.

That is really too bad, but I suppose I'd get whatever refund I could and apply it later instead of taking someone else's romantic present and going by myself.

I know you just want to vent, but I'll admit I don't see this as so tragic and I think it's hard to relate to the kind of money you must have with all the perks, paying for upgrades, etc. Your husband has a partner, so that means he is running a business and should be accustomed to how often scheduling can change or how likely trips can come up, etc. This isn't some low-level clerk calling in sick to a boss (perhaps he's a lawyer or something like that?).

I think expensive surprises that involve someone to take off work are probably not good ideas when someone is in a profession or job where that is unpredictable, so maybe that's not a good thing to do again. Some people just don't like surprises like that, either.

Grab your best girl friend and have a ball. Make lemonade out of those lemons. Or sell the trip on eBay.

Thanks everyone for your understanding! I needed it.

Michel_Paris-- No , unfortunately, phoning in sick is not a possibility. Though it did cross my mind!

missypie- my son is twelve, and I did think of taking him, but still would have to forfeit one ticket and but him another one.

cigalechanta- There are some direct flights in October on American right now in October for $552.00 (before taxes of around $100.)

Dukey- I haven't entirely ruled out going by myself, but don't think it is going to sit well. Some things are just not worth it.

Well, all you can do now is bless it and know that something good is on the way.
Your hubby just had a knee jerk reaction. If he's really upset about the $$, see if you have a friend that wants to buy into the trip.

Gosh, I have lots of ideas for the OP. But all inappropriate for this family-friendly forum. ;)

Wow. I feel so badly for you. Can one of your girlfriends swing the lower priced tickets? You could do the Carmela Soprano thing. Alternately you could take your son. I have a 12 year old who loves Paris. I would go.

I don't guess your son has the same first name as your husband?

I really feel so terrible for you, especially how your husband reacted. It's just a crying shame.

Oh, I am SO sorry! I would be devastated!

Want to borrow my husband for October? :)) Who even forgot my birthday yesterday!

Oh that is such a shame. No wonder you're so frustrated. And your husband is probably just as disappointed and frustrated and he's probably directing some of that disappointment at you.
As for the money, it's not an insignificant amount, but in the course of any long marriage, stuff happens. The next time it may be your husband who has a costly mishap.
I agree, going to Paris on your own or with your son probably isn't the wisest option.
Since your husband is the one with the unpredictable schedule, let him pick the dates and plan the next overseas trip.

I got into a screwed up situation like this once and I was told you can't transfer the tics to another person. Her son would have to have the same name. If so, I would take him and have a nice weekend, I'm sure birthday boy would approve since he will be working anyway.

Sorry this happened to you too.

What will really be crappy, is when the time comes around whatever was so important , as to have to cancel, falls through.

Actually---it is sometimes possible to change the name on a ticket; it depends on the airline and how good your reason is. I have been the recipient of such a transfer. That was, however, about 10 years ago---they may be more strict now. But it's worth a try.

I'm sorry this happened. I've only had to cancel a trip once, and although circumstances were different, it's still very upsetting.

On the bright side, it shouldn't be too hard to get someone else to accompany you on this trip. I would volunteer, but darn the luck, I must take a pesky trip to Hawaii on October. :-))

But on a serious note, this horrible feeling will pass. I'm glad you came here to vent, we are always happy to lend an ear....or in this case, we will lend a screen. ((Y))

Too bad I didn't think ahead and name our son after his dad! Sure would have made this situation perhaps a little brighter.

I did beg the airline to let me change the name on the ticket, but there is no way they will do it.

Just going to have suck this one up.

So sorry to read your sad story. What airline did you buy the tickets on?

Ralstonlan:

Your heart is defiantly in the right place and it was such a beautiful gesture. Your husband is a very lucky man to have you as a wife and if he deserves you, he will realize this, eventually.

I am so sorry your plans did not work out and I hope whatever financial loss you incur will be returned to you exponentially.

Regards Ger

Oh my, how will he ever plan anything as wonderful for your birthday? I think I would still be banging my head against the wall.

What if you call his partner and tell him/her what you have planned? Act like it is still a surprise for your husband.

I'm so sorry for your predicament RalstonIan! How miserable for you on all fronts! :(

I hope something good will come from this, but at least you tried to be spontaneous.

On the other hand, Cosmo magazine was right, being spontaneous does keep a little spark (never said good or bad) in your relationship...:-s

Hi R,

As Mr Dizzy once said to Mrs Dizzy, after she had waited up for him to return from Parliament and had provided a late supper of game pie and Champagne, &quot;More like a mistress than a wife, my dear&quot;.

&gt;...my husband called to tell me those dates I mentioned to him to take off from work in October were impossible for him.&lt;

I shall not comment on a person for whom business affairs are more important than such a thoughtful and lovely birthday surprise.

((I))

Ronda- The tickets were purchased from American Airlines.

Ira- Thanks for the support, but in my husbands defense, he is not in a position to choose. Some things cannot be helped.

Ralstonlan

I'm sorry to hear of your disappointment. But take heart, at least you and your H weren't &quot;surprised&quot; out of your getaway by something truly ghastly - an accident befalling either of you, for example - or worse yet, an accident or illness befalling your son.

Travel plans are always a gamble, for all of us, so don't be too hard on yourself. Although of course by now you might have revised how many 'chips' you plan to place before 'the dealer' next time.

Hi Ralstonlan ~ I am so sorry, what good intentions you did indeed have for this special birthday. It was so thoughful and very romantic of you to plan such a lovely long weekend.

I am on board with the &quot;still go to Paris by yourself or with someone else&quot; people.

I hope it all works out for you. If it is any consulation, ANYONE on this board would love to have you as their wife! I really think it is very wonderful of you to plan something like that for your hubby.

Please keep us posted on what you decide.

Paris is never a bad idea.

Good luck.

Sue- You are so right. There are far worse things in life. Thanks for putting it in different perspective.

Tiff- You are so sweet.

And as Bogart said: &quot;We'll always have Paris.&quot;

Ralstonlan:

I side with all those above who are sympathetic to your dilemma...and a dilemma it is. However, knowing you're a frequent traveler who goes first class on hotel and dining arrangements, I feel strongly that you not go until H can once again join you, surprise or no surprise. It would be the right thing for you to do, IMO.

As to his partner, I fail to see why a man can't leave his blessed business to his freakin' partner for a long weekend. Good grief, is the business at stake? Will it go BK because H leaves for four dyas? Or what? I don't understand..and that's probably why I'm still a quasi-budget traveler...although a very frequent one to many parts of this troubled planet.

Perhaps we need a quick &quot;soprano&quot; visit to dear old partner!! Someone from the Beantown branch, of course.

I do wish you a satisfactory resolve and eventual &quot;make-up&quot; for the trip!!

Stu T.

Well then if you can't go with your hubby and you can't bring someone else on the ticket- is there any way you cna go alone??
Might be a grand time to see if their are other Fodorites going to Paris.

Ouch. Sorry, Ralstonian. I understand about the dates and times; if I tried to do something like that without checking with my husband's office first it would just blow up in my face. He practices with three other mds, and only two can be gone at a time. One person just can't cover two offices, so if I make reservations it had better be <i>after</i> I check with the office mgr/scheduler.

That said, there have been plenty of missed opportunities when we could have gone here or there---if we'd both been able to go. Last time he had a board retreat at the Grove Park Inn in Asheville, NC. and gave me only two weeks' notice--our son was appearing in a musical that weekend so I had to stay behind. Ditto a trip to Chicago last week.

Someday the stars will align and you'll both be free to go. It was an expensive mistake, but it was just that---a mistake.

Well, I think that is just rotten of American Airlines. Did you talk to someone other than a ticket agent? Have you written to anyone at American? You must fly a lot on American if you have enough miles for mileage tickets. Seems like keeping your goodwill should account for something.

<b>Ronda</b>,

why are you blaming the airline just because they lived up to their part of the bargain. None of the fare rules, upgrade rules were hidden before this was all done. Sorry about the OP's luck and her husbands inability to disappear for 4 days , but if the airline started to listen to every hard case story and started to &quot;adjust&quot; accordingly, then why have the fare rules in a first place. The fare rules allow the cheap fares, but they come with many restrictions, and non-refundable is one of the main ones.

The first thing I did, some years back, when planning a surprise trip for my wife to Jamaica, was to contact her boss first. I made sure that no matter what, she, unknown to her, had 7 days vacation time penciled in. That's the easiest way to make sure that nothing can go wrong. It worked.

But if that was not possible, I would get fully refundable tickets and fully cancellable, up to the day of arrival, hotel reservations, just in case like what the OP described.

I'm sorry, but you get what you pay for....

Why blame the company for trying to make money? Imagine the stories they hear EVERY day?

I, too, would dispute that this excursion was &quot;perfectly planned&quot;.

Whenever I plan to &quot;surprise&quot; for my husband, I first ensure that he can actually come along on the planned dates. You don't have to disclose the plans, only that he can actually be away from work, and accompany you, for those dates.

That your husband &quot;called to tell me those dates I mentioned to him to take off from work in October were impossible for him&quot; is a bit odd. This is something we would have worked out at home...

For us, anyway, the &quot;surprise&quot; is that I've done all the planning.

Wow what a dreadful situation.

I guess the work/life balance is a bit out of balance in your house.
It's a shame.
Can't you break his leg and claim on the insurance?...lol
Good luck

Muck