A gal alone and on the go from Provence to Rome: Trip Report
 

O.K. So I've only be on the Fodor's site for a few months and this will be my first trip report. I think it will be pretty long since I'm bad at editing. I should also say that for some reason I'm a magnet for weird people and strange but funny happenings and this trip was no exception.

Pre-trip note: I HATE TO FLY!! I mean really hate it, a white knuckle flyer, terrified of flying and not a fan of airports. But I love to travel and travel alot so what's a gal to do- take drugs, that's what. Xanax to be exact. I start taking them about a week before I leave and even then freak out all the way to the airport always informing the taxi driver of my fears , taxi drivers are quite sympathetic.

Feb. 22 an evening flight from Newark to Paris, Continental Airlines (I only fly Continental because I always fly Continental). Until 3 years ago I'd fly coach but then on a trip to Switzerland I upgraded with miles and have never looked back. Now on international flights Business-First. Fantastic! Best part- ice cream sundeas with pick your own toppings.

The flight over was fine except turbulent and I didn't sleep a wink so when I arrived at CDG at 7 am I was exhausted. Because it was early I breezed thru customs and baggage and made my way to the TGV to get my train to Avignon which was to leave at 11:24. I had bought my ticket online before the trip. It was now 8 am. For 3+ hours I sat in that cold TGV waiting area downstairs, mainly because I was too tired to walk around.

Trains here- get myself situated, 3 hour ride to Avignon. I arrive at Avignon at about 2:30. Nice big train station, very modern. I ask a police officer where the car rental agencies are. He tells me in the little houses outside, so there I go.

Now I have only rented a car once in Europe for 2 days last year in Spain where they brought it to my hotel so I was a little nervous about the whole car rental, driving in France thing. I had reserved a car in the states for 338$ for a week including unlimited milage and insurances with Europe by Car. The agency where I had to get the car was National-Cite. They were very nice and helpful, they spoke very little english and my french-yeah not so good but I tried. The agent told me my car was in spot 178 and handed me the keys. Spot 178? Is this my ride? Sweet! Silver 4 door citreon, all leather interior, built in GPS and phone and mosty important emergency SOS button. I've got myself a Batmobile.

The agent gave me directions to my hotel Cloitre Saint Louis. He said it was not far and easy to get to. Alright. Get in the car, start it up, on the road out of the train station, a voice, a womans voice in french, coming out of the GPS system. Oh my God, I have a talking car-- in french!! What's it saying? why's it talking? I don't understand french that well- this is crazy. I'm on the outer road that follows the city walls of Avignon and a french talking Batmobile trying to look at the map and directions the guy gave me, needless to say I'm a little flustered so I make a turn into one of the entances of the walled city and immediately know that this was not the right turn.

The streets are tiny and windy and not big enough for my car that won't shut up. I need to turn around, get back out on the main road. Noones around,, no people, no cars. Three point turn becomes a thirty three point turn and this car had sensors on the bumpers so every time I moved it beeped. Beeped and talked, beeped and talked. My Batmobile had turned into Shitty Shitty Bang Bang. Wait, I see two ladies, very well dressed older ladies. I fumble for the window button and wave my map out the window. "Pardon, Pardon" they approach "Parlez vous Englais" one says a little, I say merci. I explain I'm lost, I can't find my hotel can they give me directions please. The one looks at her friend says something in french her friend says oui and they each open a door to the car and get in. So I've been in Avignon for under an hour and there are two 60 year old french women sitting in my car and I'm thinking how do these things always happen to me.

more later

This is a great start!
I know the feeling about getting away from the car rental place at the Avignon TGV and not really knowing how the features on the car work.
Those ladies sound really helpful.
I'm sure things are going to improve.

A cliff hanger trip report laartista, continue please...

That is hilarious laartista (though I am sure less funny at the time...),

keep the trip report coming!

Cheers

Hehehehe...keep it up!

I love this!! More please!

Love the xanax part of the story LOL

How funny! Can just see you in your talking car trying to look at your map and find your hotel! You certainly have more courage than I do. But I must say that the French must have a habit of getting in cars with strangers - we had the same thing happen in Vence - lost and looking for our hotel - stopped by side of road and asked two women for directions. One of them got in the car with us (two couples) and took us to our hotel! We were all shocked! Could not believe that anyone would get in a car with strangers! Would never happen in U.S. We were really thankful, however, and appreciated our good samaritan!



How funny! Can just see you in your talking car trying to look at your map and find your hotel! You certainly have more courage than I do. But I must say that the French must have a habit of getting in cars with strangers - we had the same thing happen in Vence - lost and looking for our hotel - stopped by side of road and asked two women for directions. One of them got in the car with us (two couples) and took us to our hotel! We were all shocked! Could not believe that anyone would get in a car with strangers! Would never happen in U.S. We were really thankful, however, and appreciated our good samaritan!



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Sorry - when I copied my post from the US to Europe board, it posted twice!

laartista: This is priceless! Can't wait for the next installment.

I love this! It reminds me of an old episode of Magnum PI where Magnum is driving a car that keeps talking to him (back when cars first started doing that), mostly saying "Your door is ajar." He finally gets out, opens the hood and rips out the wires that hook up the speaker. Always one of my favorite episodes!
Looking forward to more.

Wow. I LOVE that they got in the car with you! Can't wait to hear the rest.
Thanks for sharing!
dina

Utterly amazing... the two french women of a certain age get into the Batmobile now turned SSBB car.

And all this with still no sleep.

I am dying, this is great, you are very brave.
More, merci, more!

A definite candidate for the Best Trip Report- Chapter One...

Great story! So, how do you say "I'm lost" in French?

This is going to be good. Love driving around Avignon; hate driving in it.

Je suis perdue...

I am lost.... ((F))

Hey, thanks all. One thing as I go on. AS long as there is no serious bodily injury involved, when mishaps or snags or weird things happen on vacation it's always really funny to me, plus these things always make for the best stories.

BLH-yeah, I'd be curious to know if it is a common practice in France to just get in a strangers car and without asking. Anyhoo, onward....

So there I am in some deserted back street of Avignon(which is not a scary place) with the 2 ladies in my car I literally chuckled outloud and looked at the one in the front seat and said Ca Va? She said good we take you, we'll go with you to your hotel. I'm like really? cool o.k.

One observation of which I have many. Ever notice when your travelling and you ask someone in their language if they speak english and they answer with a little, un peu or un po or whatever, it really means they are pretty much fluent. When I say a little it means I know 10 words.

So, we go. Right, right left, right she says pointing out the high schools of all things. She says there are 4 in Avignon. Good to know. We get to the gated parking lot behind the hotel which is open. She says in there you park- there is your hotel. So like any good new yorker I offer her and her friend cab fare to get back to where they were, it seemed far. she was quite amused by this and said no that's not necessary we like to walk. Au revoir.

As I unpack the car I realize that no good deed goes unpunished because the lady in the front had left her sunglasses. I run out to the street but they were gone. I gave them to the guy at the front desk in case she came looking for them.

O.K. first hotel review. The Cloitre Saint Louis. At 80 Euro a night and a great location acn't be beat. would I stay there for 150 Euro a night? No. Checkin was smooth I used venere to reserve, I swear by them. Fabrice at the front desk ( you know how in the Tuscan Sun when she asks what his name is and he says Marcello she says of course it is, Fabrice, of course it is) is very helpful, everyday with my direction questions. The grounds of the hotel are beautiful with an awesome courtyard. The rooms, well I stayed in the old side. It was very sparten, late 80's decor, bed was huge but maybe 3" thick with pillows the size of m & m's. Toilet in it's own little and I mean little closet on the other side of the room which was actually quite large.

Hi laartista, I am loving your trip report and your sense of humor. And agree, it is the aggrevations that make us chuckle later. Also agree about Europeans, they always respond they speak very little English and than generally make us Americans sound like we need to study up on our own language, LOL.

Now I never unpack when I first check in to a hotel plus I'm so tired that if I stay in the room long I'll never leave. I do however make my mandatoty arrival phone calls. I have this neurotic jewish mother ( who was actually baptised as a child I recently found out-but that's another story-which technically makes me half catholic I guess)who will imagine you lying in a ditch somewhere if you don't check in. Did I mention I just turned 40. Anyway with my trusty MCI calling card(shameless plug) I call and then head out.

First stop is a friendly game of charades with the local pharmacist. I forgot my eye makeup remover and cotton balls. 15 euro later I take a stroll down the Rue de la Republique to the square with the carousel. So first impression of Avignon is cute, nice, no great shakes. An opinion that really doesn't change much over the coming days. But, just my opinion. I will say I was suprised at how edgy the population seemed to be. Alot of young people, super funky, reminded me of being in the village in NYC.

I'm STARVING!! I haven't eaten since my 4 course dinner on the plane. I opted to skip breakfast because I was still full from the veal chop at dinner which was actually quite delicious. Where to eat? I'm not great with picking places to eat at when away, plus I wanted something not too heavy. I stop in a cafe on the way toward the hotel, they have bruchetta type pizza things. I have one with olives(hey, I'm in Provence) and 3 ,yes 3 cafes. I'm a triple shot Starbucks girl. Trying to stay awake here. Can't sleep yet, I'll be screwed with jet lag.

I leave the cafe, oooh an Irish bar, on the corner. Can't ever go wrong with an Irish bar. Guarenteed English speaking cute bartenders. I stop in for a few beers and a chat with the barman and then head back to my room. It's 7:30 pm. I need zzz's.

Back at casa Saint Louis I decide to unpack, that is until I open the closet to find a humoungi can of Raid. Why's that in there? Are there bugs? I hate bugs! Except spiders-they are good luck, I'm super superstitious (my mother's Hungarian). Yeah, No! No clothes in the bug closet, I will live out of the suitcase.

I settle in, take in 1/2 hour of French Deal or no Deal with the Spanish soap opera music they play in the background to tug at your heartstrings as the woman chooses her box. Oh, it's 250,000 euro, Ouch! Her eyes well up with tears as do mine and I doze off.

Hi,
This is a fun report. I can't wait to read the rest.

laartisa, this is so much fun. When I was staying across the bridge, my room had a seperate toilet room that you had to climb three steps to get there, a true throne. and the tub and shower in another.Please post more soon.

Day 2 or so I think

I wake up feeling refreshed from my day of planes, trains and automobiles. This room stays dark I must have slept late. Open the drapes, it's dark outside. No clock in the room so I look for my watch and do some watch math. Bought the watch in Germany 4 years ago and still can't set it. So half the year back home I have to add an hour.Damn, it's only 1:30 am. Ugh! Next 4 hours, T.V, elle magazine, suduko fall back asleep and up again at 9:30. Order some coffee to the room, can't function without the morning caffien and today I'm off for my first field trip from Avignon. Today I go to St. Remy and Le Baux on the suggestion from many on this board. I had never heard of them before my Fodor's addiction began.

A quick stop at the reception desk armed with my via michelin maps and directions. Sunglasses-check, lip gloss-check, mastercard-check check. Double check which way to get out of Avignon with Fabrice and off I go.

Driving out of Avignon was easy, not very picturesque, but easy. Roundabouts--no problem, I've got my eagle eye sunglasses on (although it's quite cloudy and grey)and even though those roundabouts are the pain the French are really good at posting direction signs to the different towns. I'm noticing the beautiful white bark trees, I don't know what kind they are and they are bare of leaves but dramatic still. As I listen to the Black Eyed Peas on the radio on the road to St. Remy--- We interrupt your musical listening pleasure to bring you a nonsensical announcement from Madam Knightrider. She's back and talks right over the radio. Now I know David Hasselhoff is popular in Europe but this is ridiculous. I pull over, I need to stop her. I figure out if I press dark button screen goes blank and she stops talking. Press navigate screen back on voice gone. This is the procedure every now and then for the next 5 days.

As I approach St. Remy I thought where do I park, where do I go? In front of me there is a town square with a parking lot in the middle. Looks good I'll park here. Wow ,it's really quiet here. I know it's February but I mean really quiet. I can imagine what madhouses these places must become in the high tourist season. So despite the 40 degree weather and lack of bloom or people I figure I have the whole place to myself. So I follow the signs to the tourist office. FERME'--closed? The tourist office closed? I just laughed and went for a cappuccino.

If you just say "Je suis perdue" people are likely to think that you have lost your soul--better to say "Je me suis perdue" to be on the safe side. Unless, of course, you have lost both yourself and your soul, as when Scarlet went to hell.

Avignon can be really difficult to get around in--we somehoe ended up in the outskirts and had to circle and circle to get back to the center.

As for the voice in French, we used to have a Datsun Maxima that said things like "Right door is open," except in a Japanese accent--so it was "Light door is open." We named her Maxine, and I miss her since we sold the car.

This is too funny. I found myself giving your driving instructions from in front of this screen.

As a fellow New York who rarely if ever drives had the same experience when we visited/arrived Avignon. But sure knew that Rt. in/our of St. Remy in every direction in a hot NY-minute.

Personally, I would have shot the car!

More, more please!

Loving this on a dark, gloomy, snowy (!) day in the Bay Area. This is a priceless report & can't wait for more.

I am enjoying your report so much too laartista. And believe Cobbie when she describes the weather, we live just 30 miles from each other. Miserable terrible weather, LOL.

Now, more about your experiences in France..

Dreary and rainy up here in Davis...BORING. My knees hurt. The cats are sad. Sun, please!!!

Hi Underhill, well my left hand is aching..we sure are having miserable weather aren't we, from Benicia to Vacaville to Davis. Terrible! I always feel like a wimp complaining about the weather as know that those in the midwest and eastcoast etc. have worse, but this is California, and people think we have 14/7 blue sky and sunshine. We only wish right? Take care and stay warm.

Hey Underhill "light door is open had me choking--sooo funny.

O.K. kids, so I'm in St.Remy and tourist opffice is closed so I decide after my cap to stroll around town. To my dismay it seems everything is closed. It's Friday afternoon about 1:00 and it appears it's siesta in France. So I walk thru the cobbled streets of this ever so charming town which on this day is void of color except for the blue shutters because it's a grey winter day. I window shop and take a bunch of photos and head down what I'm guessing is the main street, I forget the name but the L'hotel is on it which looks like a really nice place and I find myself wishing I had stayed there.

Across the street I notice a store is open so I pop in, my mastercard was burning a hole in my pocket so I bought my 2 neices little french shirts in pink that say made in mother. St. Remy is a beautiful town and I can see why it's so popular with this board. After about 2 hours I decide to head on to Le Baux. Driving out of town I pass the galum ruins and snap a few photos.

Up the hill I drive, Madam Knightrider has been quiet. I notice the GPS screen which I hadn't paid much attention to and notice it's mapping my drive. That's what they do, right? So I'm watching it and the road and I see a hairpin turn on the screen. Is this what's coming? Yes it is! Up the windy road to Le Baux. Really beautiful from what I can see but I'm trying to concentrate on the road which is hard , I find myself wanting to look out the side window.


I arrive at the parking landing at the base of the town. It is wicked windy and cold up there but I've got a chateau to see a Chateau des Baux! I stop to snap a few pix of the view. Everything is open here. I first pass a store with candied fruits and chocolates, peek in for a look, I've never seen such pretty treats. Up the hill I walk stopping in the shops to browse. The higher I go the windier it gets. Finally at the chateau. Buy my ticket and armed with my new Sony P200 digital camera-- Oh my, I feel like I'm on the top of the world. Noone else there, just me. I wander around taking in the views which are really breathtaking. Up and down the stairs of the chateau ruins, passed the catapults--this is awesome. I'm so mesmerized that I don't notice my hands are turning blue from the cold. I decide to head down.

On the way out of the village I stop for yet another cafe. I always drink so much cofee in Europe. Bought a few post cards that showed Le Baux in better weather and start my drive back to Avignon.

Back in Avignon I realize another day I haven't eaten yet. Sometimes I forget. There was this little cafe/bar called Le Americain. I go there. Order a bottled water and a pizza, a frozen pizza, I know I'm in Provence where there is great food and I'm ordering a frozen pizza in a bar. Shameful it is!

At the table next to me, I'm sitting at a small booth, ther are two women with a really cute springer spaniel. I love animals and can't help saying Bon Jour puppy. He must understand because over he comes, up on back legs and hands me his paw. So cute, what's his name I ask. Neeson, neeson? No Neeson, Neeson? No NEELSON, Oh, Nelson. Oui. Hello Nelson, well that's all he needed for permission to jump up on my booth and get in my lap. Bottle of water, frozen pizza, springer spaniel in my lap, all set for lunch.

What a great report. You are so brave to drive in France and without a co-pilot! Can't wait to read the rest.

Okay, so far this is one my fave reprts of all time. Looking forward to the rest.

I'm so enjoying this trip report, laarista. We had the same thing happen to us in Spain--asked for directions and this gentleman gets into the car with us and literally TAKES US THERE! Not only that, we had a POLICE ESCOURT to the Museo Picasso in Malaga!

Sound like other people here have had similiar experiences too. Talk about quality of life...of course, we didn't have a "talking car" ...very funny!


And yes, isn't it great--to have poochies in bars and restaurants--I'm always telling my poochies about this and how civilized it is!

PLEASE keep writing, laartista-- this is great fun!

My goodness. What an adventure in only a few hours. Can't wait for the rest.

laartista,

I wonder whether your car was related to the one we rented our last time in France, the kind without a key. It insisted on turning the lights on and off for us and hissed if we didn't fasten the seatbelts right away. The guy who ran our B&B recommended that we talk loudly about how great we thought de Gaulle was because the car would like that and behave.

Underhill,
Hell-that is where I learned to speak French ~

Tagging to savor as this super saga progresses.

Fantastic report! Can't wait to read the rest.

Hey, thanks guys and gals for your nice comments and encouragement. And funny comments too. I'm trying to figure out how to post some pix. Since I'm a little technicalogically (is that a word?)challenged and until now I was a trip report virgin it could take a bit.

After lunch with nelson the dog which was really at about 5:30, I decided to go check out the streets of Avignon. Now usually when I travel I'm really into museums. I love art and architecture. But for some reason I just wasn't feeling the whole museum thing- so arcitecture it is. Wanted to see the bones of this old city. The thing is it's dusk so I need to hurry up.

Through the little streets of Avignon I walk looking at the buildings, always paying attention to the doors, windows and hardware. Also a little window shopping, but not real shopping because some one on this site had said how his wife loves to shop in Aix and I was going there tomorrow.

At about 8:30 I was tired, I think I was a little jet lagged still from the day before. I grab a sandwhich in case I wake up at 1:00 am hungry, which I did and my tomato, egg, ham, cheese and soggy lettuce sandwhich hit the spot.

Day 3 I go to Aix-but right now I go to the hardware store-more later and thanks alot again for being so nice, I know I can drone on.

Fun trip report! Looking forward to hearing more.

the droning and the details are what makes us feel we're there... keep them coming!