Guys, I'm not dead or locked in a cupboard - but I confess I'm having a bit of a crisis of confidence.

Does anybody else have the feeling that there are only about 10 of us in here? The Asia Board is moving SO slowly now, averaging two - yes, two - posts an hour, that frankly, I can't see the point of posting.

It's a fair chunk outta the day trying to absorb AND write, I've realised. Kolkata ain't Siem Reap - it's way more complex. If I'm honest, in my conceit, I think I need a bit more bang for my buck. You guys are amazingly supportive and kind but I think I'll just store it up and pour it out later, when/if the board turns around. It's just pissing in the wind otherwise.

So long as you DO eventually post, I'm willing to wait. I know that I've found writing on the road can be a bit much (but I do keep a journal) and I don't hang out with Jimmies. But how much audience do you need? Ten is twice as many as I still seem to have reading my Morocco TR, lol!

I have noticed a slow down here on the Asia Forum too, although I don't know why. This was even BEFORE the change in Fodor's last week.

Sometimes I read, but don't post so maybe there are others doing the same but to a larger extent?

HEY YOU ALL OUT THERE...if you're reading this speak up!

We're here in cyberspace reading and waiting for more! Please, the show must go on...

So it's not just me. Not only is it slow, but it seems like a lot of the newbies are a lot more... green? Clueless? Rude? What's the right word?

Don't worry, Dog - we are all here, silently lurking...

I started a thread yesterday with a Vietnam question and received 7 responses from all of the usual suspects within about 6 hours.

KEEP IT COMING.

Sigh. I just wrote you a long post and when I clicked on "submit" it disappeared into the mist.

Please continue. We are here, patiently waiting.

Just wondering about your writing process...do you travel with a laptop and write in your room? Use hotel computers? Internet cafes? Personally, I'm finding it harder and harder to write while traveling so most it waits until I get home.

Yo Dogster, sounds like you're feeling that your writing is becoming a bit like...well...work. Writing for an audience more than for enjoyment now ? Been there and done that, right ?

Seems to me you no longer travel alone, mate. Yup, you're taking all of us along with you. Its your time...your adventure man. If ya want company somewhere along the way we're here for you.

Hey Dogster. I've just been lurking in the background, reading you for a while now. Even though India is not on my hot list of places to visit, your writing sparks my interest. Any time I see 'Dogster' on the subject list, it is the first item I click on, have to know what you are up to now.
Please keep writing.

Hello Doggie, I confess I have been reading but not writing! But I can detect that you are imho suffering from lack of suitable refreshment, so I'm sending you a bottle of the finest Sauv.Blanc now that should cheer you up hic hic, oops sorry all gone! Waiting behind the cupboard door for more.....

Dogster, I've also noticed that this board is slower than usual. I don't know whther it is the format change or if most of the regulars are out on the road or what.

I'll look forward to your report whenever you choose to write it.

I'm lurking here too.... Same as Danmango, when I see your name I dive in to see what's new. I can wait in anticipation of your next post, but please don't stop!

Well, I nearly fell off my chair when I logged in to see all those responses. I don't quite know where to begin - other than to say thank-you. I'm kinda shocked. Remember, I'm out here on my own. Life on the road in India, for me anyway, is pretty strange - not bad strange - but strange, just the same. So I'm prone to psychological oddity. I'm also aware that when I launch into Jimmy's and cupboards and piles of charas that I'm skating on thin Fodor's ice. I thought you were all a bit appalled.

Becalm, my spitual advisor from I know not where, has popped up in my moment of crisis. He opens up an interesting topic: am I doing this for me or you? It all started with Bhutan.
Just over a year ago Jules 39 asked me a question. What poured out was therapy. I was writing that for ME.

What also poured out was a whole lotta love. From you. That spurred me on into Dogster: The Great Stumble Forward: India. About a million words later I was starting to work out how to write. This is only 7 months ago. There have been a lot of stories since then. None of them would have occurred without you guys.

Yes, you compliment me, [although, I do recall the brief appearance of a post entitled 'Dogster: Trash!!!', which I kinda liked] - but actually, more to the point, you inform me.

As you know, I've left my previous life behind - in a pretty extreme way - but the dynamics of an audience are something I know quite a lot about. When they go quiet, I'm in trouble.

So, I guess, once I got into my stride, I've been writing for you AND me. I don't think the two things are mutually exclusive. Without your responses none of this would have occurred. I used you, accidentally, to try out my new skill. Bless you all, you have been subjected to some terrible writing on the way. Repetition, rambling, obfuscation - sometimes I didn't work out what the point of the story was till after I'd written it. Too late - it was on the net.

You taught me stuff: Gpanda, for instance in a minor aside, taught me that I really didn't need to put EMPHASIS on EVERY word. lol. That was a huge lesson. Writing for Fodor's meant that had to cut all the obscenities out - and most of the more prurient sexual matters. I discovered I didn't need them. That was a huge lesson, too. I could go on. Writing for you guys - none of whom I know, remember - has given me a real feel for what works and what doesn't.

Yup, I want more than ten readers thursday; of course - just like all of us. In my previous life the phrase 'total world domination' was not an unreasonable goal. I learnt that from a rich, stupid young man. He made me rich and stupid too. Alas, he didn't make me young.

You make me richer. And smarter. So I travel and try and make stories for strangers. It's not very different from before. My friends certainly aren't interested. I know my stories - but I confess, I seem to have a need to share. So, yes, I would love readers - but the task is way more complex than that. I want what I write to be really good as well. That's for me AND you. Is it hard work? Yes. Do I enjoy it? Totally.

It's your energy that I feed off. You don't really know it - but YOU are the rocket-fuel.

But on the road, it really is hard. Like all things, the greatest revelations are not always easily available on the spot. They need reflection, digestion, amplification - and most of all, editing. The problem is, I've discovered, the process eats up the very adventure I'm here to have.

Of course I'll be posting when I can. And properly after.In two days I'm outta here, off to Mumbai. Not long after that I'm somewhere on the border of Madhya Pradesh and Gujarat. I don't think there'll be many postings from there - not of consequence anyway. Doggie will be dancing with the Tribals. He'll swap his Jimmy's for sadhus. The end result is much the same. Dogster, crazed, out of it, somewhere ridiculous, sitting in the dirt.

Perhaps tomorrow's adventure will be interesting. I'm off to spend an afternoon with the Hijra. Google that.

Give us crumbs or banquets, whatever your fancy, but do take us with you. We're here, always anxious to get a whiff of the dog's life. And don't agree to anything this afternoon that you might regret...

I am here, too, silently waiting for another scrumptious morsel from the Dog's dish.

Googled that. Prep reading done. Await the dogster narrative that will surely breathe life into inert Google text.

Suit yourself as to timetable -- it is your time away to savor, hoard, squander, share exactly as you wish. Do consider though that the audience that is subdued unto near silence may be the audience that is most attentive and most moved.

Aaah, just relax & let it flow when the time is right, as the old monk said to the novice; perhaps lighten up on the charras just a tad for a moment, too much indulgence after a lay off can be a bit oppressive sometimes for us old fellas, at least until you're back into the groove...

I'm just so excited 'cos we're launching our own mini-India expedition tomorrow night, 3 all-too-brief weeks, yipeee! We're IT luddites & thus not carrying a lap-top round India, but I'm looking forward to diving into the odd cafe or two & catching up on your musings & outrageous rantings, what a refreshing take on travel! If mine host in Sikkim has any dirt to dish on the dogdays, needless to say they will remain absolutely confidential to this correspondent - unless the media tempts me with a suitable inducement. Go guy, dance the night away at the durbars - tell us when you're ready. Meanwhile, I'm not gonna sleep tonight. Delhi/Amritsar/Darjeeling/Sikkim/Goa/Mumbai here we come.

THANKS EVERYONE for replying to my shout out. :)

It would be a very sad day if Dogster stopped posting here!

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Hi Doggie - had the day working away yesterday so missed you. I think you should just enjoy and experience things exactly how you feel at the time. I love your stories as you know and I look forward to them - always check first thing to see if there is anything (at all) from you. However I'm more than happy to wait until you think the time is right for you to post. If we have to wait until you are back and have got it all worked out then thats just fine with me - even if its going to be a long time. One has to wait for a great production after all.

Only thing I'd like is the occasional bark from you so I know you are safe and still out there - otherwise who knows what I'll think might have happened to you. That may be rather presumptuous but I like to think we can all watch over you in some way. You are too important to all of us on this board to lose.

Enjoy all those upcoming festivals.

Mary