Immigrations and Customs Experiences
 

If I were a gambling man, I would bet that there is something common in the DNA of most Immigration and Customs Officials around the world. Entering and exiting most countries, I am often reminded of an old joke and have been tempted many times to use it.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, buddy what's up with the long face?”

So far I have been able to restraint myself from becoming like Jason Bourne and others in having my passport stamped “Denied”. Although, I think being “Persona Non Grata” would be cool if just for a day.

My best land /seaport border crossing by far has been in Swaziland followed by Jordan’s, “Welcome To The Kingdom Of Jordan” in Aqdaba.

The best airport experience, Dubai where there were no forms to fill out, the process was efficient and it actually felt like they wanted you to visit their country. Most countries in Europe tend to also fall into this category not necessarily in terms of warmness but efficiency.

The worst land border crossing, almost a tie between Mozambique and The King Hussein Bridge crossing into Israel. The latter almost understandable but what an unfriendly process that I am told can sometimes take up to five hours.

The worst airport experience, Detroit, Michigan where as a US citizen I was pulled aside and interrogated before being allowed back into my own country.

On a recent visit to China I was surprised to find an Immigration Officer grading system right at the counter available for you to give instant critique after you are processed. These should be available everywhere and the results made public. A JD Power rating system for Immigration and Customs Officials.

I know which group would not be anywhere near the top of that rating system except if it's Global Entry Program is included. As member of Global Entry, I am happy to report that now most of my returns to the US are efficient and pleasant experiences. Maybe it is because machines never seem to be unhappy to be at work or have long faces.

Not only is Global Entry a terrific program, but the CBP guy who interviewed me was someone I'd enjoy having a beer with.

My worst border experience was a day trip I took some years ago to Bratislava (then in CSSR) from Vienna -- they were ok about letting me in, but no so much about letting me out.

Interesting topic, DMBTraveler! :)

My favorite border crossing took place years ago. I was flying into Guyana, in northern South America. The immigration official asked me, very brightly, very chipperly, "Are you smuggling any drugs or weapons into Guyana?" I said no. (Is anybody ever going to answer yes to such a question?) He thanked me, stamped my passport, and welcomed me to Guyana. :)

In the U.S., I find the CBP folks (TSA too) to reflect the communities where they live. I think everybody at DFW is very friendly. They do their jobs and are businesslike about it, but it's Texas. Immigration and customs come with a "Hi. How are you?" Maybe a little bit of a drawl too. I don't find that to be the case entering the U.S. at some other airports.

DonTopaz,

My Gobal Entry interview was a little scary.. They seem to know more places that I had been to than I remembered and they knew the dates.

It is a great program well worth the US$100.

I was in Europe during the Bratisalva days doing the Eurail thing and thought it would have been cool to visit. However, I guess it would not have been to cool if like you they would not want to let me out.

JeffCR,

Howdy, Partner. Guess I am going to have to fly thru Texas more often. Recently read there is going to be a push to have more international flights at DFW.

Your observation about ICE/TSA personal reflecting the communities they live in may have some truth to it. However, I did not see the ones in Dublin wearing kilts.

Since I always fly American, my choices for flying back home are DFW or MIA. DFW is much more manageable any day.

On returning to Sydney from I had two tiny things to declare.. a small wooden hippo and a small glass jar of sand with my name spelt out. I went to the red lane for declaring and the customs agent asked what I had. I replied "just this hippo and this" and held them up. I then said "i was too cheap and miserable to buy anything else". He said "well you did return with something else too.. a sense of humour!" This was the first customs agent to make a joke.

A friend whilst at USA Immigration had to repeat the town she was born in..."Wagga Wagga" to a group of agents because they thought it was hysterically funny. A few repeated "Wagga Wagga" then she was on her way. Only friendly Immigration interaction I have heard about!

MissGreen,

Cute, funny and exceptional stories ... Nice to have a good laugh when reading a reply.

Not the norm around here. "Wagga, Wagga"

During our recent trip we traveled to ten countries. As most of the countries were in the EU no one was stamping my passport and I was a little disappointed.

As we went through immigration into St. Petersburg, Russia, the control officer was very stern faced and unflappable. He even looked a little scarey. As we proceeded towards him I was a little nervous, even though I had no reason to be.

When it was my turn he took my passport and looked up at me and then back at my passport a couple times, very stern faced, before he stamped my passport. I smiled, thanked him and said quietly to my husband, "Yippee, another stamp in my passport", to which he grinned broadly, almost chuckling. Welcome to Russia!

The most surprising question I was ever asked was on a small rural crossing between Canada and the US. After the standard questions about reason for our visit, duration of trip and citizenship, the only other question we were asked : Do you have any green apples? Perhaps the custom officer was hungry.

I've always found Australian customs officers a relaxed and friendly lot. But that doesn't mean they are not vigilant. They use sniffer dogs and you will be pulled aside for anything questionable, even on domestic flights, as there are state-to-state restrictions. I have seen bananas confiscated on a flight from Sydney to Perth, for example. When arriving from overseas we are careful to declare anything we feel might be suspect, even snacks were were given on the plane. An officer will ask a question or two, perhaps want to see your items, and then quickly send you on your way, perhaps with a "g'day mate".

Michele-d,

Sounds like a nice trip. What ten countries?

Glad you got another stamp in your passport and hopefully it is one with extra pages.

ElizTravel,

Although the "Green Apple" question seemed out of place it is not. What would have been even more odd if he had asked if you had any "Green Eggs And Ham" :)

Thanks for heads up on inter Australia travel and fruit inspections. I would not want to keep a banana and slip up on that one :)

DMBTraveler,
This trip we started in Italy, Switzerland and Austria for the first two weeks. Then our kids returned home and for the next month we visited the Czech Republic, Russia and Estonia. Next we visited Scandinavia hitting Finland, Sweden, Norway and then finally Denmark.

It was a faster paced trip than our last one, 6 countries in 3 months, but still a blast. Lots of good memories. We probably will not return to Scandinavia, even though we loved it, as it is so expensive. Already planning our next trip, mostly countryside and small towns as we know now that is what we prefer.

A few friends and I drove from Italy to Slovenia for a day trip. My friend Matt (the driver) was able to convey to the border guard how disappointed I was to not get a stamp in my passport. I leaned over the back seat and gave him my biggest smile, and he finally shook his head, stamped my passport and muttered 'tourist'.

About 15 hours later, on our way back, I was asleep in the backseat when we hit the border again. Matt was trying frantically to wake me so I could dig my passport out for the guard, when the guard looked in the backseat and said, "Is OK, that is Michelle, no?"

I never did have to show my passport.

Michele-d,

Have heard that about Scandinavia. I would how it compares expense wise to Japan.

Been to Denmark and would like to get to Norway/Finland for "The Northern Light Show". Guess I better start saving my pennies.

txgirlinbda,

Glad to read another fun Immigration/Customs story. I may have to rethink my theory about a common link in their DNA.

We couldn't figre out if it was the same guy on one really long shift, or if the story of the crazy tourist had made the rounds...

ELiz_travels story about the green apples reminded me about the time my mom came back across the Canadian border on her way home from a wedding.

Border guard - "What was the purpose of your trip to Canada?"
Mom - "We went to a wedding."
Border guard - "Do you have anything to declare?"
Mom - "It was a wonderful wedding!!"

And that's how to ensure you get your car searched at the Canadian border!!

txgrlinbda,

Love your mom's sense of humor. Do you think she could spread some of it here?

Coming back into Portsmouth on a ferry from France, we were waiting in line in the car to go through the customs shed. Already in there was a VW van with everything taken out of it, I mean everything, seats as well. Luckily our inspection went well, even though we were carrying a few more bottles of wine than were really allowed.

When we lived in MA, coming back from the UK into Logan was always a horrible experience. Only ever got one semi nice immigration person. All the rest treated us as if we had no business being in the USA, even though we had the correct visa's, then green cards, and now passports, all legally obtained. It might have helped if we had been Irish, rather than UK born. LOL. We have had no problems at DIA. We have never had an unpleasant immigration officer. They ranged from straightforward and to the point to friendly and welcoming.

I once returned home through MIA. I'm usually pretty terse with "officials" so I had only one words answers. Where were you? Curacao. Why were you there? To dive. Did you enjoy it? Yes. How long were you there? A week. How many dives did you do? Twenty-five.

When he next said, Twenty-five is a lot; didn't your instructor tell you that? I said I AM an instructor and 25 was not unusual with the profiles I was carrying. Oh really?...for what agency? TDI, NAUI and PADI.

He saw I was getting eager to get through the line and those guys are pretty perceptive. So he smiled and said something along the lines of Hey, I used to dive, too, but I've lost my certification card. And it's been five years. And her wanted to get back into diving.

Long story short I met him a few days later at a dive shop pool, and got to grill him for a few minutes! Ended up passing him, ordering a new c-card, and had a customer for a few advanced courses!

Sorry ... no really BAD stories about those guys.

Heathrow has been my only bad experience with an immigration officer who thought I was trying stay in country. He asked about hotels, travel plans, whether I had a job back in the States. Just really accusing. Answered questions for over 5 mins and really left a bad impression. All other European countries have been great. Coming back into Dulles, I've been welcomed back everytime.

NoFlyZone
That's a great story. I guess we tend to forget that they are people too and have their own lives and stories.

I came back to the US after a short trip to London - 4 days - all I could afford as I was staying at the Waldorf. boy did I get questioned: why so short a stay? (The Waldorf is expensive) What did you do (theatre and shopping). Seemed incredulous I'd go so far for such a short trip.

Vicky,

I use to know the feeling as a backpacker returning to US.

"Is that all your bags and you have be gone for 10 days?"

Now with Global Entry, I just "talk" to the machine and I am thru Immigration and Customs in a zip :)

DMB Traveler,

You won't see anyone in Dublin wearing kilts. That's a Scottish custom. :-)

Just out of curiosity and amazement:
Did I read the respecitive posts (e.g. the "diving post") correctly that also US citizens get asked question when they return to the US at US immigration (not customs, where it would be normal to inquiry if you brought with you certains goods etc)?

As a P.S.
After 30+ immigration procedures at US air borders (and twice land borders) I cannot say that I ever had an unfriendly immigration officer. Some of the "wannabee officials" or aiport security in a fantasy uniform who push around the hordes to line up at the right counters sometimes had somewhat of an unwelcoming attitude.
But the real officials/officers have so far always delivered an always professional procedure, and more often even a friendly chit-chat after the official questioning.

My last experience at a small Montana land border crossing was somewhat unusual, though. I was the only "customer" in the CBP building and the officer (not me) complained about all that stupid bureaucracy they have to enforce on simple tourists. And I had to tell him several times that I have no problems with that (as if there was a choice lol).

Cowboy1968,

In my experience, "Yes, they do". Although this in and of itself is not the problem. It is the manner and attitude in which it is done.

I am glad you have had pleasant experiences with US Officials and I hope there are more experiences like yours.

PM,

With enough pints of Guinness, many of men have been know to do many of things regardless of ethnicity or customs and I'll drink to that :)

Re questions at Immigration. I doubt I've ever gone through US passport control without being asked at least the basics: where did you go, for how long, why. I don't think they really care about the answers, but rather look for signs of deception in which case they would investigate a bit further.

So true about the Guinness DMB. LOL!! ((b))

NoFlyZone,

No doubt you are correct. It is just interesting how some countries officials make you feel welcomed and others don't.

However, it is nice to hear that there are the exceptional experiences.

One always get asked by US Immigration, including US citizens. Yes.

Interesting, thanks for the answers.
I did not expect that you also get "grilled".
Never happens when you go thru passport control the other way as a citizen.
If a border control dude in Munich had asked me all those questions like in the "diving story" I would have probably told him to mind his own business lol

Noboday said about being grilled. But one does get questions like "Where did you visit"? "How long were you away"? "Where do you live"? and "What work do you do"? That kind of question, preceded by "Welcome Back".

Yeah, I did not mean "grilled" as in a serious hour-long interrogation or as being treated like a criminal.
It was more the suprise that there are questions at all.

It's none of my country's border control business where I spend my vacation or what kind of work I do. If they had some intelligence that I spent my vacation in a training camp near Kabul, I'd probably not even make it to the passport checkpoint but get a "VIP shuttle" straight from the plane LOL
They can see my time spent outside the Schengen area from reading my passport when "checking out" and checking back in anyway, as well as my address. Even in the old pre-Schengen days, you'd never hear a question coming back.
OTOH, I never heard a "welcome back" neither LOL. It's not such an issue to go abroad and come back. Or to cross a border.

As I said, these border guards see hundreds of people each day. They don't care about any of them other than to determine they are legit. The questions are more of a way to elicit abnormal reactions than to get direct information. I've never seen them enter any of that info into the computer (then again, before Global Entry and still for many, that info is on the immigration form).

In the diving story there were no people behind me and his apparently random questions imply launched us into a conversation. One which ended up productive for both of us. (And he let me in, too!)

I have received a Welcome home! from well over half of them and they are almost always smiling by that time.

I should add that the worst border experiences have been crossing into Russia, and later into China, by train. Coming in from the Latvian border (I believe), the train stops for about 4 hours. In the middle of the night, of course.

They come around to collect all passports and disappear for a few hours with them. Then border almost-thugs come through, question everyone, search almost everything, and look absolutely everywhere for stowaways, extra cases and boxes, apparently so they can toss them, too.

An hour later they come back with stacks of passports and hand them back silently. Apparently they kept them all in order because they never had too go back and forth between compartments.

Best border experience ever was on the White Pass and Yukon train into Canada from Skagway, Alaska. The stop was scheduled for 10 minutes. The guard entered the car, asked everyone to be completely silent and then directed us to open our passports to the photo page and hold it next to our face. She then simply walked through the car and quickly glanced at each. At the end she thanked us all for our cooperation and welcomed us to Canada.

Of course Cowboy1968 won't hear a "Welcome Back" from a Schengen officer. Schengen immigration only hires mutes to man their counters - well, at least for the visitors line I've been in. But it's a totally different story in the UK. Those guys like to chat for minutes with every visitor.

And thanks heavens for that! The last thing I need after an 8-12 hour flight back home is a chatterbox in uniform.
Fortunately also UK Border control does not chat with me, or with anyone else with an EU passport.
Heck, I did not even get "questioned" when going to Canada last month, neither in Calgary at the airport nor at the land border after some days in the US.
At the latter, I was just puzzled that the car in front of me with MT plates (obviously no rental car unless Hertz started to rent beaten-up pickup trucks) needed three minutes, while my "immigration" into Canada took less than 30 seconds.