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Hilarious Yelp Reviews of Malls to Warm Your Heart This Shopping Season

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It's beginning to look a lot like excessive consumerism!

Ah, malls. Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t live without ‘em. There is no better evidence of this than the opinions found on the crowd-sourced review site, Yelp. Below you’ll find a list of 11 massive malls in the U.S. and the peculiar, decidedly savage Yelp reviews that go along with them. Enjoy!

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1 OF 11

The Grove

WHERE: Los Angeles, CA

Read sebastian r.‘s review of The Grove on Yelp

Read Sonya S.‘s review of The Grove on Yelp

Takeaway: Kids are aliens and fruit is worth a lot of money (?)

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PHOTO: Ed! at English Wikipedia via Wikimedia Commons, [CC BY-SA 3.0]
2 OF 11

RiverGate Mall

WHERE: Goodlettsville, TN

Read Hope D.‘s review of Rivergate Mall on Yelp

Takeaway: You go, Jacob!

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3 OF 11

Mall of America

WHERE: Bloomington, MN

Read Jason B.‘s review of Mall of America on Yelp

Read Justin M.‘s review of Mall of America on Yelp

Takeaway: Mall of America is one of the nine circles of hell. Also, boogers are gross.

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4 OF 11

Paradise Valley Mall

WHERE: Phoenix, AZ

Read Ed D.‘s review of Paradise Valley Mall on Yelp

Read Max A.‘s review of Paradise Valley Mall on Yelp

Takeaway: Ed prefers Walmart over malls. Meanwhile, malls will always be a part of Max’s life.

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5 OF 11

Third Street Promenade

WHERE: Santa Monica, CA

Read Catface G.‘s review of Third Street Promenade on Yelp

Takeaway: Clowns are scary and The Panic Room is a poor film.

 

Book a Hotel

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6 OF 11

Tyson’s Corner Center

WHERE: Tysons, VA

Read Claudia J.‘s review of Tysons Corner Center on Yelp

Takeaway: Malls may or may not take your money.

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7 OF 11

Outlet Malls

WHERE: Various

Read Michelle R.‘s review of Roosevelt Field on Yelp

Read A E.‘s review of Destiny USA on Yelp

Read Louie L.‘s review of Silver Sands Premium Outlets on Yelp

Takeaway: Outlet malls are … confusing.

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PHOTO: Facebook | Gulf Coast Town Center
8 OF 11

Gulf Coast Town Center

WHERE: Fort Myers, FL

Read Jim W.‘s review of Gulf Coast Town Center on Yelp

Takeaway: New Yorkers don’t like malls (?)

9 OF 11

Easton Town Center

WHERE: Columbus, OH

Read Kimberly K.‘s review of Easton Town Center on Yelp

Takeaway: Easton is big.

10 OF 11

King of Prussia

WHERE: King of Prussia, PA

Read Ryan W.‘s review of King of Prussia on Yelp

Read Jessi T.‘s review of King of Prussia on Yelp

Takeaway: I DON’T GO TO KING OF PRUSSIA MALL ALL THE TIME OK!!!

11 OF 11

Sawgrass Mills

WHERE: Sunrise, FL

Read James R.‘s review of Sawgrass Mills on Yelp

Takeaway: James does not like the Rolling Stones.