Indy - No, I guess it was an off day. Nothing was schedule for my allocated time. My friends made fun of me for my preoccupation with the "new vocabulary."

This is too funny!!! LOL!!! LOL!!!

Smirnoff over with two Spanish olives.

Mine actually is so horrendous it's more gross than funny, but since we're letting our pants down here and letting it all hang out...

I was on a bus that stopped in Harat Afghanistan and had to use the potty so asked for directions and was told to go down the street, turn left, keep going and it will be at the corner of the street. We're talking dirt roads here, not streets (this was in 1972). So, I start on my way, worried about finding it among all the squallor and ram-shackle huts...but I got within 1/2 block and I didn't see it, but I did smell it, so decided to go down an alley and hide and did it really really fast.

amwosu, when you see Ron White's airplaine gig again, you can think of me. That describes perfectly our flight on our tiny airline every time we leave our island. "The pilot tells the goose....go around, go around!"

Nice to hear from you gomiki. Hope all is well with you.

Your story reminds me of the early 90's when my best friend and I went to a Colorado game with his wife. She's the Colorado fan and we went to see them play an Iowa team. Cyclones or Hurricanes or something north of Des Moines about an hour.

My friend and I not being football fans were rambling on and mentioned the troughs in the men's room. My friend's wife had never heard of nor seen a "trough."

After the game we took her into a men's room so she could see what it was all about. Of course this is the same lady who can't understand why men wax poetic about floor-length urinals. :-)

seetheworld - have used the mens room many times!!on the island of islay one pub had only male facilities(yep, we are talking 21st century..) & too many islay malt whiskies!

The world's longest urinal is constructed for the NYC Marathon. I think you have to run in order to use it though. :D

I'd post the link, but it's long and I'm afraid I screw up the site.

Poison, hell. Mine's a dram of teenaged Glenmorangie taken with a bit of Alaska bottled water. Feeling slightly celebratory tonight as our upgrades have all just cleared on our upcoming festival of flying - Seattle to Boston to London to Tel Aviv to London to Istanbul to London to Boston to California...

Strangest loo story is not of the hole-in-ground variety (plenty of those from various places where a jug of water sits on the floor next to the hole, in lieu of... oh never mind.

No, this hole was in the floor. Between, shall we say, one's legs, whilst one is sitting on an otherwise conventional Irish WC in a third-rate (only because there is no fourth-rate) B&B near Galway some eons ago.

Through said hole one could see the thinning hair on the balding heads of the cooks preparing the fried bread and black puddings for breakfast. If they just looked up...

As for male users of this turlet during cooking hours, let's just say aim was important.

I think the strangest thing I ever saw in facilities anywhere were the vases of long-stemmed red roses in the public bathrooms on the New Jersey turnpike. Each sink had its own vase with a single bloom. The restroom itself was absolutely filthy, as is wont to happen on a busy summer holiday weekend. It just struck me as really odd that someone would put roses in a turnpike rest stop.

My poison is a Tualatin Estates Gewurtz. A tad too sweet, but it works.

The nastiest toilet by far was one of the honey buckets during the Seattle Marathon. Thankfully a man who had just came out of it warned me...and I took one look and waited for another. Nasty things happen during marathons! LOL!

The oddest for me was on my first trip abroad. We were in Cascais and I really had to go. Found one of those pay to use toilets. I paid my coins and went inside. Found a ceramic bowl and nothing else. I could not figure out how to flush it...so I stood there not sure what to do. There was a line outside, and I did not want to use the facility and not be able to flush, so I left without going. I didn't know at the time that it was one of those that self cleans when you leave. I remember desperately looking for somewhere else to go.

In Florence, our daughter, who is normally a camel, had to go. Closest place was a hole in the ground. After racing to get there, she took one look and very distinctly stated "I don't have to go that bad", lol!

I am so glad I had dinner before I started reading this thread!

gomiki, the problem with those Saran Wrap toilet seat covers is that you have to remember to push the button BEFORE you sit down! I never remember that, so I always push the button after I get up, which is of course worthless to me but nice for the next person...

Enjoying Castle Rock Pinot Noir this evening. Doing a bit of testing before we host our families' Christmas dinner this year. Must have seen the same recommendation as amwosu.

Fortunately, other than relative cleanliness, have not experienced any strange facilities in my travels. It's funny to read about the "squat" variety. A friend encountered these on a visit to Italy two years ago and I honestly think she was traumatized. But hey, if you have to go.....

Ellie

indy: just discovered your trip report on the Europe board:)

emd: Hmmm...the ones I used were automatic. That's why I was so surprised. I did nothing, just flushed....(and watched it spin around a few times as I flushed) because I didn't believe it).

Night shift guy chiming in here:

Gin & Tonic this morning!

The Wellington Pub men's "facilities" in Greater London.

Piss into a floor trough and watch it go skidding under a hole in the foundation to who-knows-where. Simply marvelous 19th Century engineering!

Statia, what a fun topic. And--amazing! I told the same Ron White tubing story just yesterday in response to Melissa5 on Fodors Caribbean forum, after she said she needs a beach with public facilities. I'm sure Ron would say, "Why bother--just swim out in the water a ways."
Speaking of Ron White and poison...
"I was drunk in a bar. The police threw me into 'publiccckkk.' I don't want to be 'drunk in public.' I want to be drunk in a bar. Arrest THEM!!"
We need a comedy GTG. The Blue Collar guys will be in D.C. in Spring. Alas, t's sold out.
Weirdest toilet...hole in ground in Afghanistan. There and surrounding countries, finding pitchers of water next to the hole and wondering--are they for my feet, to rinse off mud from splashing onto the dirt floor?
You know those male and female triangular figures on toilet doors? Just saw one that was trying to show the toilet was unisex, so had both male and female painted on the door. My four year old grandson said, "Look, Grandma! TWO people can use that toilet at the same time!"

At a ballpark in Utica, NY. They had metal one-piece seatless, backless, coverless toilets stamped "Department of Corrections" on the part that was bolted to the floor - I am not sure if the Corrections notation was accurate or some sort of a joke, but it looked rather authentic, and since I have never had the opportunity to use a bathroom in a prison, I can only guess.

My favorite poison of the day is what I'm drinking this morning which is Starbucks coffee (Italian Roast?) with eggnog creamer.

Thanks to these telling reports DH and I now know what we saw in France were Turkish toilets at the rest stops on our drive to Paris. We went back and forth between the mens and womens comparing and contrasting. I got a kick out of the foot pads and thought they might even come in handy at home!

Well now that the coffee has refired the jet engines in my brain ;-) I have to say the strangest facilities we encountered were in Amsterdam--the walk-up, open for viewing public toilets for men!

Shots of Aquavit.

On an ice-fishing trip in canada, there we no indoor facilities, only snow and ice. It was surprisingly private and accomodating.

Poison, chardonnay.

Strangest facilities: First night in the Big Apple. Transferred there from Honolulu with my international airline as a FA. New roommate was on a trip, so, friend and I had to stay at the YMCA. Not even sure where it was, upper east side somewhere. We had bunk beds, alarm clock and our uniform and that was about it. Showered somewhere, I guess, but don't even remember that. Just remember surviving the night, cost maybe $8? This was in 1979. Got up at 5 a.m. to report for a flight. Didn't even mind that much, bc, hey guys, I was now in the Big Apple...

AnnMarie, your tale reminds me of when I was on a high school band trip to Europe in 1985 ... we stopped at one of those French rest areas, and if you can imagine a whole busload of American teenagers heading for the potty only to find the Turkish sort! I don't know how many boys and girls we got into one of the toilets at the same time just to take pictures and try to figure out how it worked.

This May I was at Darlington raceway for the NASCAR race, in the parking lot after the race, and there was a port-o-john across from our car. It must have been really disgusting, because people who had been standing in line for it would take one look inside and say NO WAY! Even the men. So the line would immediately clear out ... and then another new batch of people would come by thinking "Cool -- nobody in line." A new line would immediately form and the same thing would happen all over again. It had to be really gross.

As it's now Sunday morning, mint tea.

I'm not very well traveled yet, so my strangest facilities were the toilets at a market in Rosarito, Mexico where you had to pay a dime to use them, they handed you *one square* of toliet paper (yep!!) and they were the darkest, dankest, smelliest bathrooms ever.

I held my breath, squatted, did what I needed to do with that one square, and ran out!

xrae, that's exactly what we felt like--a bunch of kids running back and forth! And speaking of NASCAR, a few years ago we went to Talladega. After sitting in race traffic for hours on end we finally reached a field to park the car. Port-o-potties skirted the field and since we were all in need we dashed from the car so quickly no one noticed we had left the lights on. Hours later we returned to a dead battery...and lots of friendly racers willing to help!

Ooops, racers should read race fans!

I recently tried an Armenian brandy called Ararat. Very good! Better than some Cognacs I've had. As for "facilities" I recall this story. We were taking an overnight train from Ajmer (India) to Delhi. The train stopped early in the morning at a rural station near a village. I opened the blind and, well many of the villagers were in an adjacent open field taking their morning constitution. Quite a sight for the uninitiated. :-)

Satia, does an advertisement for "facilities" count? This past summer in Paris we saw European-type sidewalk billboards everywhere, advertising the stool softener Dulcolax. It was a photo of toilet paper with sign stuck in it, worded "Du travail!' (sort of--"this is work!") Only in a city which is as proud of its sewers as is Paris (-:

AnneMarie, yourt story about the see-through facilities in Amsterdam reminds me of the famous see-through windows in the city's red light district!

AuntAnnie - I think the city of Boston installed one of those self-flushing on-the-sidewalk toilets several years ago as a trial. Don't know if it's still there, though.

I've seen my share of hole-in-the ground facilities in China, Japan and Europe over the years.

Over the weekend, however, a cousin said she visited one of the Atlantic City casinos whose women's room featured over-the-top facilities. However, the black highly polished marble floors gave everyone a chance to "view" you and your neighbors if you looked sideways under the sidwalls while you were seated.

What a fun topic!!! Being blessed with a tiny bladder, I've learned not to be picky with my facilities. Worst one had to be by the Mayan ruins near Cozumel 14 years ago. One little room--no doors--for both males and females, hole in the ground, stick your feet over the 'painted feet' on the floor and really hope for 10 seconds of privacy. Have always remembered that place since my husband took a photo of me standing by the fertility goddess' throne. One month later, we found out that mini-Tess was on the way :-)

Oh yeah, we LOVE Ron White. My 16 year old son thinks he's the funniest thing on tv right now. Anyone heard of John Pinett, a comedian who's been on Comedy Central? Our family heard him on a cruise last year and I've never laughed as hard in my life. Catch him if you can--he's hilarious.

No poison yet since it's a.m. Have two kids home sick today, though, so I may be dipping into my stash soon...

JacketWatch, Armenian cognac is the best! In the former Soviet Union it was all exported to get foreign currency, none was allowed to sell to locals.

WOW! You guys have certainly experienced some strange facilities.

I am not that well traveled either but the strangest so far to me was the public restrooms in Pike Place Market. The doors are not really tall and I felt like a horse sticking my head over a stall. The door was so funny to me, I had the girls stick there head over and smile for a picture.

LOL, Kinch! Your story reminded me of the time I used the kiddie facilities at the San Diego Zoo. The dividing walls were chest high--I felt more like a giraffe!

Kinch--I know exactly those restrooms you mentioned! I am very short and even I could see out! I wonder who designed those???

Faina Again: Good point. Do you know of any other brands?

No, sorry, I don't.

Thanks anyway. One good selection is better than none. :-)

When I as in the Navy, the destroyer I was on had three troughs in the aft head. Each trough was a three seater with one seat being painted red for those unfortuneate enough to pick up whatever while in port. There was a continuous flow of water and from time to time some joker would light a wad of paper and drop it in at the inflow end of the trough so it waould pass under whoever was sitting in the other two seats. While at sea, it wasn't the place to be sitting when the ship was taking 45 degre or more rolls and thewater would slosh out.
I was telling DW the tp story while touring the USS Kidd in Baton Rouge, and a nearby astonished tourist asked "You mean you really lived like this?"

Wow, some of these are funny. Some aren't.

I've had strange facilities upon several occasions. The two I will never forget:

Off an IN turnpike, about mid-90's. I walked in and walked out. It was a gas station, and surfice to tell you that all the walls and floor were covered with projectile feces. That's the only way I could describe it. The place needed to be hosed out, period.

The other was in Italy at the marble quarries. It was a hole with hose attached to a wall. My guy was hysterical because guess where I got the traveler's revenge syndrome.

I also got trapped in a bathroom in Italy, Cinque Terre area, once. It was a hole as well. The door knob came off in my hand and was attached by a rod with no connectors. Until I figured out how to release the rod alone, I could not get out. It took me about 10 minutes. Afterwards the owner of the little cantina, told me that I "should have said something" because no one uses the bathroom there. Huh!

And in Chicago I have seen some real dicey bathrooms or non-bathrooms. Saw a girl hold her 3 year old child over a sink to pee at the Auditorium. Saw the circle group (just like the wagons)with girls' surrounding squatters, behind the poles at Wrigley a couple of times. Both of those places have no numbers of Women's facilities as they were made and used primarily for and by men in their primes.

No liquor, just coffee.

For a real Third World experience, try the public men's room at the San Francisco Bus Station... all of the stall walls have been torn down exposing several open toilets... the homeless use this as there "freshen-up" station and are rather creative in their "technique les' excrement". The scene is a police line-up in a Fellini movie... I will never be the same...

Wow. It seems like it's hard to let this one go. I guess potty stories go a long, long way. :-)

Speaking of held over sinks and never being the same, it happened to me at Meramac Caverns in the mid 80's. You know the ones "See Rock City" and "See Meramec Caverns." The signs, bumper stickers, painted barns, billboards, they were everywhere.

I was visiting St Louis friends with friends. We decided to finally "see meramec caverns." We did the tour with the little Foucault pendulum at the beginnin, saw formations, did the whole bit. At the end we were looking at the huge, solid wall of stalactites that met the stalagmites.

A little girl near us about 3 told her Mommy she had to pee. Yeah, right as we were no where near a bathroom. As they projected a scratchy slide of Old Glory on the wall, the little girl was getting insistent she had to go. A similarly scratchy recording of Kate Smith started belting out "God Bless America."

The little girl really had to go. Her Mom picked her up and hung her butt over the chasm behind us. As it was dark she couldn't see where she was. That's the only way she could have relaxed enough to go hanging over a 100 ft chasm.

I will never, ever be the same again.