Unspoken rules and procedures
 

Having just returned from a trip that required 4 "deplanings," I am still amazed at the methodical and extremely polite way passengers leave the plane. I was unfortunate to be in the last row all 4 times and watched as the parade unfolded in front of me. There must be other unwritten procedures on a plane or elsewhere that are followed almost without question. What is your favorite?

What in hell are you trying to say???

Ignore the previous post... Perhaps the poster was not entirely awake. <BR> <BR>One unspoken procedure that seems universal is waiting in line for the next available spot in a public restroom. Whereas, this does not apply to waiting in line at the check-out counter in a store. Many people totally ignore who should be next, and run for the newly opened check-out lane.

My kids learned the art of turn-taking and line-waiting in Ski Lift Lines. If they ever appear eager to jump in front of someone or skip someone else's turn, all I have to say is "think lift line" and they know that they were just about "out-of-line" in their behavior and they know what to do to make it right!

I think it's called 'common curtesy'. I find it quite telling that you are 'amazed' at such a standard concept. Then again, you probably don't think people are 'entitled' to that sort of treatment.

That should be 'courtesy', of course.

Anyone who believes "queuing up" is universal and just common courtesy has never been to the European Continent, particulary Germany and Austria. They do not line up, they do not wait their turn, if there is an inch to squeeze in ahead of someone else they do. Pushing and shoving are common, as is rushing the counter ten deep instead of forming a line. If you are standing at a hotel desk or shop counter, they will not line up behind you, they rush up and stand right beside you, elbowing and pushing, speaking over you in an attempt to get the service person to wait on them instead of you. <BR> <BR>Even at the Vienna Airport when the flight crew asked disabled and those with small children to board first, I witnessed every Austrian in the boarding area jump up, run to the gate, and push and shove their way onto the plane while the Americans sat staring with their mouths open.

Mrs. Manners, courtesy is not making unfounded judgments. <BR> <BR>You said: <BR>&lt;&lt;I think it's called 'common curtesy'. I find it quite telling that you are 'amazed' at such a standard concept.&gt;&gt; <BR> <BR>And just what is it telling you? I see many people every day who do not display common courtesy. I was just stating an observation that upon deplaning, all passsengers go out of their way to wait for others, even occasionally helping them. <BR> <BR>You also said, <BR>&lt;&lt;Then again, you probably don't think people are 'entitled' to that sort of treatment.&gt;&gt; <BR> <BR>Common courtesy would dictate that one would not try to tell me what I think. Especially, since the "thought" has nothing to do with this post. <BR> <BR> <BR>

Er, Mrs. Manners has been a little more crabby than usual these days. I'll see what I can do, if you know what I mean.

I find that at our int'l. airport, the french canadians and germans are the absolute worst. Mean spirited, extremely rude, nasty, pushy. The worst.

In our travels we have found that the Japanese are the rudest, pushiest people.

I too am always pleased the way people deboard a plane. I have found that although it seems to take forever when I'm in the back, it is much more productive this way. <BR> <BR>As for people fromother countries: It is my experience that these travellers are not being rude or pushy. It is simply a matter of culture. The "pushiness" you have experienced is due to the fact that many other countries are much more crowded and the people are just used to having less space and "fending for themselves". I would use as an example a bus full of people, everyone squeezes in to make room for others, when a person must constantly travel like this it becomes nature. <BR>

As a person who has studied and documented these kinds of social activities I must comment that the last person who posted is the most correct. These "manners" have a lot more to do with cultural density and learned cultural adaptation than with "manners" as we perceive them. Just as it is a fact that looking someone in the eyes can be the polite think to do in some cultures and a true insult in another culture, so does "line" behavior reflect a lot about the kinds of body <BR>closeness and personal space that a culture has accustomed to be the "right" one. I personally find it terribly maddening when I am in the Western USA as they move so much slower than I do that I sometimes feel like they are trying to "trip me" on purpose. We move FAST where I come from. Deplaning happens in such a small space that people are more or less forced to make more "polite" choices, in my opinion. It is true that forming lines is not "natural" to some cultures.

Jeanette. Your post piqued my interest. I have noticed in my travels, that when walking along a sidewalk or path with oncoming foot traffic, those people from countries that drive on the left side of the road tend to navigate to their left side of the pathway, whereas we who drive on the right side of the road, tend to navigate toward the right. On the other hand, I have noticed one culture in particular does NOT navigate out of the way nor drop back to a single file to allow passing comfortably. Since this has happened in many different locations, what could be the explanation? I guess this is travel related in that I have been thinking of these individuals as being rude, but perhaps they are not accoustomed to moving aside for safe passing.

Cities in the UK are just as crowded as other European cities, yet you most likely will not find pushing, shoving and line jumping over there. Our American heritage is British, and we have thankfully adopted and retained many of their polite customs. <BR> <BR>The Germanic countries are peopled by the cultures which sacked Rome. "Civilized society" ended with that downfall and the descendants of those Germanic tribes still behave like the barbarians they once were. I've heard other Europeans complain about the rudeness and pushiness of the Germans. <BR> <BR>

Brazilian line jumpers and space invader stories are legend on the disney world board I read at occasionally. I think immigration should tell in-coming visitors to l) wait your turn 2) give 3 feet of personal space to people around you 3) Bath daily

Point of order: this (flimsy?) topic is on the US forum - please stop bashing other nationalities and stick to dumping on your own kind.

On "deplaning"...as soon as the row ahead of me starts moving, then I stand up and on queue I move out into the aisle. What I don't understand is the practice by most passengers of jumping up as soon as the “fasten seat belt light” goes out as if they will be able to deplane first. And to make it worst, the passenger could be in the window seat and can’t completely stand upright because of the overhead compartment. They will stay bent over until the rows ahead of them have deplaned. I have thought way too much about this but I'm sure that there is a logical reason and I just haven't seen it from that another perspective yet. Could it be that they all need to stretch?

To Mustanges81....Yes. Stretching is part of it. Being rather on the short side, I can usually stand up by the window and be somewhat erect. <BR> <BR>However, as much as I've flown, and it is surely less than most who visit here, I am always pleased to be safe on the ground... one more time... standing just seems to make it real.

This is not a flimsy subject, as we must understand each others body language if we are ever going to really even try to experience each others cultures in a respectful way. You also can not say all germanic peoples are not polite in your own sense of what "politeness" is. Social Psychology and Cultural Anthropology study the factors that may be contributing to what a certain society thinks is "polite." We are all actually born to react unfavorably to the unfamiliar. So we are actually born "bigots" who classify "unknown" faces, looks, movements etc.as wrong/bad or as aggressive/rude. It doesn't have as much to do with the actual city's density as what a certain culture considers a "correct" density. If you experience a certain nationality that does not draw back to let you pass it may be that ANY submissive behaviors are NOT looked upon as "manly" or appropriate with/to strangers. The way <BR>YOU walk when approaching (hand, eyes, <BR>hips, gender) etc. may also trigger the <BR>specific NON-RETREATING walk that me again describes. You don't realize that you are doing all these things and that you are making constant cultural judgments (your OWN.) Deplaning has a very linear movement that has a large degree of retreating/waiting that some "cultural habits" would be uncomfortable with. I'm surprised that it works out as well as it does, most of the time. So submissive behaviors may not be valued except in certain clan or family contexts in some cultures. Pointing at a person or thing is considered one of the worst insults you can imagine to many of the Native American cultures. In my culture my kids would hold onto my hair or could easily touch a "stranger's" hand- but in one I know the two year old already calls it "ickky". The poster who relates the ski-lift tip to training her children to be polite in lines- makes me think of this 2 year old. His culture would never consider "waiting" in this way to be polite, just doltish/ foolish. Various individual's temperaments make the politeness/ normal issue even more complex. That is why parenting is so hard. If I am a quiet introvert in a loud aggressive culture; I am "shy" and have a "problem." In my opinion our American culture is body space polite by world standards but not verbal polite by world standards.

I've always found that the rudest, most inconsiderate and ignorant people are those who stereotype entire groups of people based upon their racist preconceptions. <BR>

Jeannette has waaaaay too much time on her hands. Nobody asked for a thesis paper on anything....yawn.

As much as I'm trying not to, I had to laugh over the "thesis paper" comment. I noticed the author made sure to include .edu in her anonmymous e-mail, just to make sure we know she is speaking down to us from the lofty world of academia. Ummmmm....o.k. <BR> <BR> <BR>The initial question seems rather strained (like the person was just fishing around trying to come up with a new question) and I personally suspect it's another attempt to create one of those popular survey type questions that seem to feature prominently under the Hot Threads header. <BR> <BR>

Jeanette, <BR> <BR>Don't you just hate it when you take the time to express your thoughts about an issue raised on a thread, only to have a numbnut with too much time on his/her hands break in and tell you that you have too much time on YOUR hands? <BR> <BR>GoBack, please don't heckle.

Jeanette, aka 123, you're SO right? What could all these people possibly have been thinking when they dared to express their opinions? Only YOURS in the correct one and has the right to be expressed, as we should all know. <BR> <BR>Take your own advice and don't heckle, or better yet, find something better to do then typing and posting epistles on the web all day.

I always have to laugh at those holier-than-thous who feel free to express their own opinions while trying to squelch everyone else. Same goes for those who criticize perceived insults("don't heckle") while hurling their own insults and names ("numbnut"). Or how about those who say "ignore it" but have just done the exact opposite by posting about it? <BR> <BR>What a bunch of hyprocrites.

Thanks, Jeanette, for taking the time to share. I learned a lot. Next time I see social behavior that goes against MY rearing, I won't be so quick to make a judgement.

Dear Me [email protected] - You would be a good anthropologist, because the deplaning example that you raised is exactly the kind of thing that needs to be studied so that we can cooperate better at other levels. I took the time because you asked and appreciate your thanks.

I, too, enjoyed your "epistle" Jeanette. <BR>It's refreshing to read something that makes you think, jogs your perspective. <BR>Thanks for making an interesting entry and taking the time. <BR> <BR>As forthe hecklers, I suspect jealousy or insecurity underlie their small-minded comments.

Jeanette, I thought you were very gracious not to respond to the mean-spirited comments hurled your way. I liked your post. Way to go!

Jeanette, how many more pseudonyms do you plan to create to post more self-congratulatory messages? All these anonymous people coming out of the woodwork to praise you..hmmmmm... how very...coincidental.

I have never, ever given myself a pseudonym on any forum or board. I am old and thick skinned enough to find that unnecessary.

up, up and away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

The most unruly populace that I have ever had the misfortune to experience are the Martians. They do not care one iota for queueing up, nor do they feel any remorse or hesitation in using their disintegrator rays. I cannot tell you the number of times during boarding that when the call was announced for the disabled et. al. to board early, that these green munchkins just blasted their way through and then took seats as calmly as morning lake water. I really get PO'd whenever I see these creatures breach the basic ettiquettes of humanity and blow away a crowd from around a street vendor, just so they don't have to wait in line for a hot dog. One minute there were happy smiling faces, and the next there is nothing but a blur of green mixed with mustard. I am quite adamant that all humans should boycott Mars. <BR>

Bebe, I'm still searching for an answer and perhaps you have hit on it. Do you think it's the Martian population that "deplane" by immediately jump up out of their seats just to have to wait for the rows ahead of them to file out? <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <BR> <BR>

topper ([email protected]