Traveling with friends? Sharing your wallet?
 

Okay. So you're on a week-long trip with your friends. You end up having to spot someone when they're low on cash. So you throw in a few bucks to cover a friend for lunch. And a few bucks for someone else's drink.

Does this happen to any of you guys? It always does for me. And it always adds up by the time the trip is over. And it's inevitable. I don't mind covering for friends when they're short on money...BUT-

When it comes to getting the money back from every person I've lent money to that gets me. It's such a hassle to hunt them down and get the exact amount they owe me back.

Any ideas for a solution? I have a roadtrip to Northern California planned in the near future.

Stop paying for your friends?

This happened to my son. He ended up always bailing his friend out when they went out. He now brings only the amount of money he knows he will spend, leaves his credit card at home. When it happened the first time that he went this way, he told his friend "gee sorry I just have enough to pay my own way". It was amazing his friend pulled out his credit card and paid for what he had just told my son he did not have money for. No problems now. So I agree stop paying.

Because you say it always happens and that you don't mind covering for friends...

I'm sad to say I think they are taking advantage of your generous nature.

I would carry cash, and simply put up only enough for your own share of the tab and tip.

what we do is all put money on the kitty and pay with stuff that way - like for food at the gas station, groceries, bel hop tips, taxis, and even restaurants if you like. if you don't want to do the restaurants, then if you ended up spotting someone for lunch during the vacation, then the next time you're at the next restaurant/bar, say "hey, it's your turn, i got the last one" and say it with a smile as if you're joking but you aren't.

Say your low on cash. Sorry. Unless its a friend in the past that might have helped you out or treated you to dinner or lunch. People got to budget there money to last the whole time.

We have taken three extensive trips with friends and one with BIL and SIL.

We decide ahead of time who is going to be the "bookkeeper", usually me, and I keep track of every single expense in a small notebook.

If we buy gas, one couple pays for it, and I duly record it. Same goes for meals (we split these, and since we usually spend about the same amount, it comes out even in the long run.) We pay our own hotel bills.

At the end of a day I add up the two columns, "theirs" and "ours" and subtract to find the balance of who spent the least. The difference is then carried over to the appropriate column for the next day.

The secret to not being 'stiffed" is to have an agreement ahead of time and good enough friends/relatives that if they have two expensive cocktails before dinner and you don't, they will throw in some extra money. Another secret is not to be embarrassed to matter-of-factly suggest this solution. Most people would be happy to have it upfront.

It also works best if you use credit cards instead of cash. But, if you DO use cash, then the bucks you threw in to cover their lunch goes on your side of the ledger and they OWE.

You definitely need an agreement. con't let them go home after the trip without settling up with you <grin>

You paid for somebody AND made it clear you want your money back, right? They didn't care to pay you. You are still going with the same people?

Bring cash, and put only a few dollars in your wallet every day. Let them see YOU are short on cash this time.

We do what JTrandolph does when we have a girls' weekend. Someone buys dinner one night. Someone pays for one night hotel, someone pays for lunch and cabs, etc etc.We try to make the items even out. One person is the "bookeeper." At the end of the trip, we figure out who paid for what and if i paid less than person B, I give them what makes us all even. It sounds complicated but it isn't and it really takes the stress out of loaning money, splitting checks 5 times, etc.

Say you are low on cash.

When we dine out we always split the bill evenly.

I'd refuse to go if I didn't have the money.

Remind each deadbeat friend (privately) before the trip that you are a little strapped and will have to watch your spending carefully - so they ned to be sure to bring enough cash and credit cards. If they run out - let them drink water, not gamble and eat less. Just keep saying - sorry I don;t have any extra money this trio.

(I wouldn't try the kitty option with these people - since they won't have enough to put in up front - or when it gets low they'll say they're out of money. You're better off not mixing your money with theirs at all.)

yeah, i guess so nytraveller. i guess i have never gone out of town with friends who didn't have the money to begin with. just say no maliabrody!

I also have used the "tally it up" method (you simply keep a running total of everything either person spends of expenses that are for both of you, not personal, at the end of the trip add up the two columns and the person who has chipped in less pays up the difference to make it equal. Incredibly easy.

I do not believe this method would work with this group, his friends sound a bit immature.

give them an inch and they'll take a mile. You've already given them a mile. Of course they take advantage of you. Time to say no, MailaBrody. It really isn't that hard. Here's a good plan. Next time you go out, take NO money at all -- and no credit cards either. In fact, it would be smart to just plain "forget" your wallet. Apologize and then make a joke out of how you always pay, so somebody's gonna have to cover you this time. Then do it again the next time you go out. Trust me. They'll get the hint.

We have traveled extensivley with friends and use this method: at the beginning of the trip, each couple throws in $100 to the kitty. Everything is paid out of that and when it's empty, everyone antes up again. Worked like a charm!

One thing you should know is that restaurants are usually happy to split a bill on 2 credit cards. I like that because then one person isn't stuck with the whole thing showing up on their bill a month later.

Oh, but I love to pay the full check with my credit card and take the cash from friends. I LOVE those extra miles!!

^ I hear you on that, but I don't know, the cash is gone so fast, and then along comes that bill...

(My husband thinks I have a really poor sense of financial matters - ya' think?!)

i'm with you on that neopatrick but we're very good about redepositing that cash on the way to work and then pay the card on line a couple of days later. we never see a big bill at the end of the month. at the advent of online statements, you don't have to wait for the bill to come! we pay the cards in full every month. we're firm believers that if you don't have the cash, you shoudn't be spending at all!

Me too Patrick!!

But I am happy to say I have never had a problem with friends regarding this situation except for one so called friend years ago. She always when the lunch bill arrived said "OH, I don't have any cash on me and I forgot my credit card but I will get the lunch and drinks next time". Oh right! After about three or four times of this I quit having lunch with her.

So Malia, I wouldn't take a trip with a friend that has a history of "always being low on cash". End of story.