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Traveling To DC?...How to Inaugurate an Impostor

Traveling To DC?...How to Inaugurate an Impostor

Old Jan 19th, 2001, 07:12 PM
  #1  
why blank
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Traveling To DC?...How to Inaugurate an Impostor

Even after you have achieved the considerable task of possession of power, inaugurating an impostor isn’t an easy job. This is especially true if the people are aware that something as important as the presidency of a country has been stolen. However, with careful perusal and enactment of the following 10 easy steps, you will have a good probability of accomplishing your rather formidable undertaking!!
 
Old Jan 20th, 2001, 12:08 AM
  #2  
Al Godon
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Once when grading history exams as a TA there was question about Horace Greely, who ran against U. S. Grant in 1872.
I am not sure what the student meant to say, but in his answer he wrote
that Horace Greely was the worst defeated candidate ever elected.
Well, that student was probably groping for something to say.
But can we not truthfully say that W. is the worst defeated candidate ever elected? Popular vote be switched; he is the president in a few hours.
 
Old Jan 20th, 2001, 12:29 AM
  #3  
Uncle Sam
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Uncle Sam here to tell you how to do it (if the posting problems on this board tonight let Sam speak up that is) The ways are: 1–Try, by any and all means, to legitimize the impostor and his government before the inauguration takes place. The mass media should play a key role in this endeavor. If the impostor came to power by thievery, coup d’etat or by a combination of the two, make sure that the mass media never mention the words “stolen” or “coup d’etat” in reference to your man. In fact, the term “coup d’etat” is a good case in point for us here. Since it has no English equivalent, most people probably wouldn’t have a clue of what the term actually means. A careful omission of this or any other offending term will go a long way in assuring that the concept will not be developed in your subjects’ minds and that your ruse will be safe. Plant positive stories regarding the impostor. Talk about his future plans of government, his cabinet appointees or the type of restaurant where he dines. Always try to deviate the conversation by any means necessary from the key issue of the impostor’s illegitimacy and true identity. Relentlessly attack any who may bring these topics to light.

2–Never allow the impostor to be by himself in front of the press. He might say something as foolish as “Things would be easier to accomplish if I were dictator”, and people might begin to realize what he really has in his mind.

3–Always provide the impostor with a prepared speech and a teleprompter. Teach him how to read the text without a glassy or studied expression. Make sure to eliminate any mannerisms or gestures that might be construed as wimpish. Have him practice in front of the camera so that a goofy or clueless look won’t give him away
 
Old Jan 20th, 2001, 12:31 AM
  #4  
Uncle Sam
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.

4–The impostor should always wear dark clothing, smile confidently and wave a lot to the cameras, like a passing movie star. Make sure that your man’s image is continually presented coupled with that of your country’s flag. Always have plenty of scary-looking bodyguards around him to give the impression that he is so important that he has to be protected from unknown dangers. Make sure that everyone knows that the army is on your guy’s side and vociferously attack the patriotism of anyone who fails to support you.

5–Assure that the impostor’s cabinet includes only insiders and/or family cronies who have some experience in running the country. That way nobody will realize that the impostor doesn’t know how to make his own appointments, much less how to run the country!! Appoint a couple of members of key minority groups to the cabinet to placate critics that may accuse your party of being elitist and/or racist and to showcase your party’s diversity. Make certain that the appointed minorities know the script and will walk the walk.

6–Ensure that the impostor’s ex-opponent (the true winner) disappears from the scene. Techniques should fit the situation, but will include:

• aggressively accusing him and his followers of being sore losers;

• having mobs repeat any chosen impostor mantras millions of times, because a lie repeated incessantly will become the truth in the minds of your subjects;

• stirring up some vigilante thugs to threaten any of the impostor’s detractors;

• telling critics to “get a life”, “get a grip”, “stop whining” or “leave the country”;

• intimidating anyone who denounces the impostor with a visit from the secret police so they stop complaining about the stolen election;

• vilifying your detractors as being communists or any other bogey man of your choice,

• accusing them of being mentally feeble or unstable.

7–Be creative, learn to use every argument and its opposite to win the hearts and minds of the people. For example, if before the election the polls say that the impostor is going to win the popular vote but may lose the electoral one, say that it would be “a travesty of justice” if it worked out that way. If, on the other hand, the impostor happens to capture the electoral college vote and lose the popular one, say that “the popular vote never meant anything and anyhow this is a republic, not a democracy”. You may want to study up on nazi propaganda techniques and scan some army psyops manuals. They have step-by-step formulas on how to control, manipulate and silence a discontent population.

 
Old Jan 20th, 2001, 12:31 AM
  #5  
Uncle Sam
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8–Hire some CIA consultants with experience in manipulating public opinion worldwide to write positive articles and to pressure media to be favorable to the impostor and to encourage others to do so. Consider having him named “Man of the Year”. You might, for example, cultivate the same friendly media contacts that declared your candidate the winner before the election process had been completed. Have them repeat affirmations regarding your man’s legitimacy, intelligence, character, moral values, etc. and always insist that your guy is on top and that any opposition is minimal, whether or not this may be the case. Belittle your critics, repeating over and over “get a job”, “nobody cares”, “get over it”.

Now, all this brings us to the grand culmination of our meticulously crafted steps: The Inauguration Day!!

9–Prepare your impostor for the big day. Teach him to use the right hand so that he raises the correct hand when he is sworn in. Have him repeat the oath in the mirror a thousand times so he can perform correctly on the occasion. Apply lots of make-up to the impostor and have him practice eliminating any potential puppet–like movements or idiotic expressions.

10–At this point, all of your careful preparations should be in place. However, if for some unknown reason all of the above fails, bring lots of tear gas to the inauguration day, and let the inauguration party begin!!!!!
 
Old Jan 20th, 2001, 07:59 AM
  #6  
Steve
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If it weren't so true it would be funny.
 
Old Jan 20th, 2001, 05:44 PM
  #7  
Sad Day in History
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It is true AND funny at the same time.
Today tens of thousands of demonstrators booed the inauguration of George W. Bush, holding signs such as ''Hail to the thief'' Columns of demonstrators, championing a broad range of causes from abortion to electoral rights, stood on the route Bush took to the Capitol for his swearing-in and jeered as his presidential limousine went past. Some demonstrators wore masks and costumes bearing a likeness to the five Supreme Court justices who voted to stop the recount of votes in Florida which ultimately gave Bush his electoral victory over Democratic candidate Al Gore.
 
Old Jan 20th, 2001, 06:57 PM
  #8  
it rained on his parade
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Hey hey ho ho that son of a Bush has to go!
 
Old Jan 20th, 2001, 07:23 PM
  #9  
63%approvalrating
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Bill Clinton, Congratulations on a job well done.

For eight years, the United States of America has enjoyed unprecedented prosperity, declining crime rates, and a world at relative peace. Bill Clinton led this country through that period, even though everything – including the kitchen sink – was tossed at him by the rabid dog wing of the GOP.
From the moment Clinton was elected, the Grand Old Party didn’t let up for a minute. They raged and whined their way through eight of the most stable and economically sound years the U.S. has enjoyed in decades. After the Bubba from Arkansas outfoxed them time after time, they tried the highest risk maneuver offered in a democracy: impeachment.

When the smoke cleared, Bill Clinton was still standing. Weakened, but still in power.

Yes, Clinton has a zipper problem. And when he got caught with his pants down, he lied to the nation. Let’s forget for
the moment that the Paula Jones deposition was the culmination of an entrapment plot by a loose confederation of right wing and GOP operatives. Clinton was wrong – and he apologized.

Clinton’s sin was venial, not mortal. The fallout from the scandal should have ended long ago. But even now, after Robert Ray has finally closed up shop, the foaming at the mouth foot soldiers of the right wing continue to bring the topic up. Why are the conservative Republicans obsessed with sex in the White House?

Because they can’t attack
Clinton for what is really at the heart of their hatred. Clear and simple, the conservatives loathed the President for his embracing of a multi-cultural society. They don’t like assertive women in the cabinet, minorities in prominent positions, gays treated with respect and dignity -- and they detest an assertive first lady. Sex is just the tar they use to demonize Clinton.

If it were about sex, the Republicans would just be shooting themselves in the head. We could name all the GOP leaders who have admitted to adulterous affairs or been outed, but the list would be too long and would ruin the flow of this article. Two examples, one past and one present, will do.

Newt Gingrich was welcomed back to the GOP Philly Convention as a wounded warrior on the mend. Of course, Newt
was chief flamethrower during the impeachment process, decrying Clinton as a moral degenerate. Newt, however,
didn’t disclose that he was screwing a Congressional aide more than 20 years his junior, cheating on his second wife, at
the same time that he was calling on Clinton to resign because of his adultery. So how come Newt wasn’t wearing a scarlet “A” at the GOP convention?
 
Old Jan 20th, 2001, 07:29 PM
  #10  
63%approvalrating
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Then there’s Bill Thomas, recently elected Chairman of the powerful House Ways and Means Committee. In the last
session of Congress, Thomas was Chair of the powerful Ways and Means Subcommittee on Health, which oversees Medicare issues including prescription benefits for seniors. Over the summer, Thomas’s hometown paper in California revealed that the married Congressman was having an affair with a high-powered lobbyist for the pharmaceutical industry. Adultery and conflict of interest all wrapped in one satin sheet: sounds like something that the GOP junkyard dogs would leap on in a minute. But did you hear a word of condemnation out of George W. Bush, Tom DeLay, Dennis Hastert or Dick Armey? No charges of immorality, no calls for Thomas’s resignation. Not a peep.

The Republicans are quick to forget the human failings of their own. Heck, just ask George W. Bush. Here is a guy who was a self-confessed alcoholic until he was forty, has all but admitted to snorting cocaine, was a womanizer, a failed business man until luck hit him on his head -- and he evaded service in Vietnam to boot. Does anyone see any sneers and jeers coming out from the Republican National Committee about the newly installed President? Is anyone calling for investigations?

Call it hypocrisy of a cunning and brazen sort. But the anti-Clinton drumbeat that continues to this day is not about randy
romps in the Oval Office or House Office Buildings. It is about Clinton betraying the Southern Good Old Boys and letting women, gays, and minorities get in on a cut of the action. That is the mortal sin in their eyes. That is what drove them into an eight-year frenzy and obsession with taking Clinton down.

Among all the accusations that have flown, all the investigations that have been conducted, all the venomous attacks that have been launched, the only thing that stuck was that a White House intern performed sexual favors on the President.

Clinton may have lied to the American people about an Oval Office sex act, but he never betrayed the American people in the most fundamental sense. No recent president has put more energy, intellect and political savvy into the job than Bill Clinton – and we would be hard put to recall any public policy action he took that was not in the interest of the
nation. We are a better country now than we were eight years ago.

Whatever his moral lapses, Bill Clinton, now an ex-president, deserves our praise, not our condemnation. Bill Clinton stood up to the forces who oppose America’s evolution into a multi-cultural society, time and time again. It was no game for the faint of heart. We are a better country for it.

Thanks, Bill. Elvis has left the building.
 
Old Jan 20th, 2001, 08:37 PM
  #11  
wendy
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Well, I was at the inauguration and parade today and was amazed at all the signs that decried the death of democracy, just as one poster signed on here. DID YOU ALL FAIL HIGH SCHOOL CIVICS? This country is not now a democracy nor has it ever been. We have never directly elected a president - it's unconstitutional. The United States was founded as a republic.

I can't believe people protest something they do not understand. They don't have much credibility.
 
Old Jan 21st, 2001, 01:10 AM
  #12  
Diane
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"They don't like assertive women in the cabinet, minorities in prominent positions . . . ." Christine Todd Whitman? Colin Powell? You obviously don't know what you're talking about! Most Republicans have no problem with a multicultural society and certainly not George W. Bush.

My disdain for Clinton is not "just sex." It's that a 51-year-old man seduced a 21-year-old women who worked for him (sort of) and then lied, and lied, and lied. That's real sleaze! He signed a deal with Special Counsel Ray admitting that he lied and agreeing to be disbarred for five years to avoid being prosecuted upon leaving the White House. Clinton is a talented man--what a waste! Can you think of anything he accomplished during his second term?
 
Old Jan 21st, 2001, 07:13 AM
  #13  
ThereNoMore
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As I have stated before, "require all elected and appointed officials to take the voo-doo science polygraph test and pass it before taking office" An "open letter to all elected and appointed officials" appears in the READING ROOM of http://www.antipolygraph.org Venting on a travel forum does not reach those in power. Our government office holders, both state and federal, should be more answerable to the voters.

By the way, my choice for Vice president or even President was Elizabeth Dole. However Give Bush a chance to show what he can do. Like Clinton, he may have bones in his closet.
 
Old Jan 21st, 2001, 08:02 AM
  #14  
Texan
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We had him for a time in a weak governor type of government. He is a nice man who is over his head. He had to compromise because here the governor has little power. His Attorney General, Labor & Interior Secretary nominees and the leaving of vouchers in his education proposal shows that he is no different from those other dividers. If he really wanted to unite, he would not have done those "in your face" things right off the bat.
 
Old Jan 21st, 2001, 12:12 PM
  #15  
Steve
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Diane, second term, how about peace agreements in Northern Ireland, booming economy, soaring stock market, soaring real estate prices, lowest unemployment, low inflation, reduction of budget deficit, and on and on.
 
Old Jan 21st, 2001, 01:02 PM
  #16  
xxx
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Al Gore lost the election fair & square. Bush IS STILL AHEAD with all the Florida recounts that have continued to go on. Get on with your life & deal with it.
 
Old Jan 21st, 2001, 01:34 PM
  #17  
fairness
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Let's just wait and see what the independent observers tell us. Preliminary leaks indicated Bush's lead was down to 1 vote. Now the Repubs are spinning out some numbers that have not been corraborated, based on Miami-Dade felony convictions that rendered some voters ineligible. That's a small number (437) compared to all the overvotes 20,000. Then there's Lake County, with write-ins indicating clear voter intent.

This is not going to go away. You can't spin your version of the truth. It would have been better for our coutry to have had all the facts in before rushing to a conclusion. Otherwise any result is suspect.
 
Old Jan 21st, 2001, 02:18 PM
  #18  
A+
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Forget the overblown rhetoric from those that would undermine our Constitution's basic provisions and principles. While piously advancing the Republic v. Democracy argument many conveniently forget that the Florida popular vote certified total IS ABSOLUTELY SUSPECT. Five partisan Supreme Court justices handed the Florida electors to Bush, stating that he would be irreparably harmed unless they did so. It's true. He would most likely have lost. The 5 partisan Supremes also said that a recount could continue under Florida law, but they set an arbitrary time frame of two hours for it to be completed and put the Florida SCt in a catch-22 by not clarifying standards earlier.

Had an independent bi-partisan examination of the Florida ballots been conducted without the Republican obstructionism, Bush would have in all likelyhood lost the Florida popular vote, and thus the electoral college. And had the 5 partisan Supremes allowed the Constitutional provisions to prevail, Gore may very well have have pulled ahead in the popular vote had the clock not been run out by the 5 Bush referees.

In that scenario, the Constitutional deadline would have been January 6. The 5 Supremes went against Constitutional construction by suggesting that it was necessary to confirm a Bush victory for the unity of our country. It has made me think that they maybe knew something, that they had some intelligence. That the threat to our national unity would have come from the far right taking to the streets with guns and self-styled militias running haywire. Some extreme elements do not take a loss easily. And that's what's so wrong here. Our Constitution has been distorted, and our highest legal institution has been tarnished.

You forget, or maybe you weren't around at the time, but there's historical precedent for completing the electoral tally after December. In 1960, the election came down to Hawaii's electoral votes which were confirmed on January 6. Our country had a peaceful transition of power then. But those were different times.

For those of you that still decry the Kennedy years, go see 13 Days.

Let's get on with it, but do not be hypocritical about what happened.



 
Old Jan 21st, 2001, 02:55 PM
  #19  
123
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I hope GW fumigated the White House after 8 years of the white trash filth that was inhabiting the Oval Office.

 
Old Jan 21st, 2001, 02:58 PM
  #20  
wendy
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Our country had a peaceful transition of power in 1960 because Nixon made a pointed decision to NOT contest the election and did not ask for any recounts.

I didn't vote for Bush, but let's get on with it. My candidate lost, I knew he would, and I really didn't think there was a big difference between either of the Republicrats.

Try to get your history from a source other than Kevin Costner movies, for petes sake.
 

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