I will have to say though, that in many parts of the country, restaurants will often bring out a free dessert and candle if they know a guest is celebrating their birthday.

I have had many of them myself, in some very fancy (and some not as nice) restaurants in Hawaii, California and Oregon. Of course, if anyone else in the party ORDERS their own dessert, I expect to be charged for it.

Heck, Todai give the birthday guest a FREE dinner!

I believe that Applebee's does give a free brownie or something - along with all the chanting and clapping.

However, Il Mulino is not Applebees. And unless a restaurant specifically offers something for free it is only rational to assume that you have to pay for anything you ask for (even if the waiter suggests it.)

I am sure it is different in different locations, but several 4 star restaurants I've visited in the Carolinas and Virginia offer a tiny complimentary cake (2-3 slices) if one states that an anniversary or birthday is being celebrated at the time the reservation is made.

This restaurant is like $75 per person. Not to be rude but it's not TGI Fridays. Places like this don't usually give anything away. Sorry you had a bad experience, but maybe it is a small lesson learned. You can't be afraid to speak up if something is not right. If you had disputed it and they gave you a hard time, then it's thier fault. But, it seem's like a lack of communication to me.