Glad you liked Matisse, I sure do. If you know Belmar, the restaurant is in the old bathhouse pavilion so it has a quaint old-fashioned look. I was last there in July, and they did not have a liquor license, which I believe is still the case. This will help keep your costs down, as you can buy your own liquor (esp wholesale) and you can keep what is not used, including opened bottles which you could not do if the restaurant provided the liquor.

Ahh yes....wholesale! The advantage of being the bakery manager at Costco!!(Though I draw the line at the making my own wedding cake the day before!!)

Kir, it's your wedding-- do whatever you want. I personally think it's a shame when the bride's wishes get pushed aside, the wedding plans run amok, and the bride is so nervous she can't wait till it's over! We've all been to enough of those over-productions to know that's no fun for anyone.
Not sure about the surprise idea, for many reasons already mentioned. But again, if that's your dream, do it.
We kept our wedding to just 40 closest friends and immediate family, in a special location in the mountains where we had spent time together early on. We had it the holiday weekend my husband graduated from med school, so people were traveling to town anyway. We paid for it ourselves, so had total control-- wedding ceremony in a knotty pine church set by the river, a sit down dinner in an historic inn. Just what we wanted, and always a fun memory.
Don't let it get out of control, and don't let anyone take over-- it's your day. Best wishes!